Quick Pickled Onions
Month: May 2021
Thelma & Louise
ON THIS DAY 30 years ago, Thelma & Louise drove across the country in a blue Thunderbird and into the annals of feminist film history. It’s one of those movies I rediscover every 10 years– funny, tragic, and (sadly) still so relevant, Thelma & Louise was written …
Twister
You’ve never seen it miss this house, and miss that house, and come after you! That’s right, it’s… DUN DUN DUUUUUNH… TWISTER!
But actually, other than that one line, this movie is a wonderfully suspenseful thriller– I would even say it’s one of the top natural disaster movies ever. When Twister was released in ’96, its PG-13 rating was awesomely clarified by the film’s “intense depiction of very bad weather.” FAIR ENOUGH– myself included, many a 13 and older movie goer became fascinated with the occupation “storm chaser” after watching this badass movie. Twister made NOAA and NSSL super cool, and paved the way for big budget disaster flicks like Armageddon and Day After Tomorrow. It’s the wonder of nature, baby!
Yes, we mostly have Speed director Jan de Bont and Amblin to thank for Twister. But I have to give an F5 shoutout to the stellar cast led by Helen Hunt and the late Bill Paxton. In addition to the nice little side love story between these two main characters (Do we believe it? Do we even care that much? SHOW ME MORE TORNADOS), you also have a tornado chasing team of recognizable faces including antagonist Cary Elwes and sidekick Phillip Seymour Hoffman– who is basically just being Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Dusty with Goo Goo Dolls playing in the background. I’ll take it.
Together, these maniacs track down and almost (or in some cases not almost) get sucked up by multiple twisters of varying magnitudes– they dodge exploding trucks, air borne houses, and bovine debris all within a very anxious 48 hour period. And I would pay good money to see Twister on big screen again, because the special effects still hold up after 25 years.
So, for this awesomely stressful flick I decided to pay homage to the one great heart attack inducing meal to appear in Twister– Aunt Meg’s steak and egg lunch. Add in the mashed potatoes and Meg’s famous gravy, and you have a Midwestern spread that will make you so heavy even a tornado couldn’t pick you up.
Time for fffffoooood!! FOOOOOD.
The Movie
The Menu
Apparently this one time, while naked and drunk on Jack Daniels, EXTREME storm chaser Bill Harding (/Paxton) strolled up to a twister, said "have a drink", and chucked the bottle into the twister. And it NEVER hit the ground. So here's a cocktail for the most outta control son of a bitch in the game-- a simple drink that may or may not cause imminent rueage should you have one too many. Use Pepsi in honor of the overwhelming product placement throughout the movie Twister, as well as a twist of lemon because... duh. Pour first three ingredients over ice and give it a single swirl-- top off with a twist of lemon and get ready to cheers a tornado. YOU'RE IN THE SUCK ZONE NOW. WE GOT COWS. Unlike Aunt Meg, I did NOT slaughter my own-- but this red meat + fried egg combo will satiate any storm chaser who craves sustenance before hitting the road. Sure, it may also give you a heart attack, but if you're likely to get sucked up by a twister you might as well eat good first, amiright? 30 mins before cooking, pat steaks dry with paper towels and season liberally with salt and freshly cracked pepper. Allow to rest at room temperature. Remove steak and cover your egg occupied pan to allow your whites to set-- the pan will still be hot enough for the eggs to cook in several minutes. In the meantime, tent your steak loosely with foil and allow to rest for 5 minutes, thereby allowing all those meaty juices Dusty loves to redistribute. When you are ready to eat, be sure to cut your steak against the grain-- serve alongside sunnyside up (the irony) eggs, sprinkled with more salt and pepper. For a thinner steak, reduce cooking time to 7 mins total for medium rare. You can't live in the Midwest, let alone Tornado Alley, without an affinity for potatoes. These are whipped, because that seemed more appropriate for Twister, and drowned in my version of Meg's gravy-- which is famous. It's practically a food group. Hey look, it's your gravy ingredients! In mini food processor, pulse carrot, celery, garlic and onion; pulse until all vegetables are broken down. Strain and add to a mixing bowl. Using electric beaters (we want these suckers whipped up like an F5 came at 'em), beat your potatoes with your warm milk, 1/2 tsp salt, and remaining 3 tbsps butter. Cover and keep warm while you finish up your gravy. Strain gravy through fine-mesh strainer into clean saucepan, discarding solids. Add more salt and pepper to taste, and serve atop your whipped 'tatoes. You can make your gravy up to a week in advance, refrigerated.
Jack and Pepsi with a Twist
Cook Time:
2 minutes
Total Time:
2 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Steak and Eggs
Prep Time:
30 minutes
Cook Time:
15 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Next, heat oil in a cast iron skillet over high heat. Add steak to pan and cook for five minutes. Flip, add 1 tbsp butter to the top of the steak, and continue to cook for four minutes more. Remove from heat, shove your steak over, and add final tbsp of butter followed by your eggs. Feel free to take a photo, but be quick-- you don't want your steak to overcook!
Notes
Recommended Products
Whipped 'Tatoes and Meg's Gravy
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
30 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Heat butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat; add vegetables and cook until caramelized, about 5 minutes. Stir in flour and cook until flour smell dissapates. Whisking constantly, gradually add broths; bring to boil, then reduce heat to low. Add herbs (and whiskey, if you dare) and continue to simmer, whisking occasionally, until thickened (about 25 minutes).
While your gravy simmers away, peel and cube your potatoes into 1 inch chunks. Add to a salted pot of water and set over high heat. Bring to a boil, and cook until potatoes are softened (about 15 minutes). 
Notes
Epilogue
Yet another talent gone too early– RIP Bill Paxton, and Happy Birthday on this May 17th. I’d heard that when he passed, meteorologists across Kansas and Oklahoma modified their GPS locations to form the actor’s initials:
And that’s neat :).
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
The Birdcage
I’m now back in Los Angeles after an almost 6 month hiatus in my home state of Florida– and yes, it’s often as weird there as the internet says. However, now that I’m back to my regular life on the West Coast, I’m finding that …