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10 Things I Hate About You

10 Things I Hate About You

At some point I’ll have a series of menus based on movies from the 90’s that are actually based on literature– there were THREE in 1999 alone! So let’s start with the best of those, 10 Things I Hate About You. Loosely based on Shakespeare’s 

Boondock Saints

Boondock Saints

Boondock Saints: “A juvenile, ugly movie that represents the worst tendencies of directors channeling Tarantino.” Fair enough. But it’s still a fun ride and Sean Patrick Flanery is feckin’ hot. If you grew up in the 90’s, you’ve likely seen Boondock Saints and have since 

Auntie Mame

Auntie Mame

Starring the incomparable Rosalind Russell (ie the star of His Girl Friday and many other fast talking classics), Auntie Mame is a long time personal favorite. Initially set during the Prohibition era, the film follows bohemian socialite Mame Dennis, who is granted custody of her orphaned nephew Patrick. Together the unlikely duo survive the Great Depression, a failed theater career, and ill-fated romantic relationships– all while Mame raucously encourages Patrick and viewers at home to LIVE, LIVE, LIVE.

Originally written for the stage (also starring Russell), Auntie Mame is still structured a bit like a play– strategically placed spotlights accentuate the end of “acts”, and the often lavish sets look like they would fit in perfectly on Broadway. Costumes are both beautiful and hilariously employed, and the constantly changing “lewks” Mame explores are as fun to watch as her repeat apartment remodels. But while Mame is a bit of a flake in many regards, she quickly proves to be an A+ mom to her saccharine little nephew, guiding him away from those with “braces on their brains”. Yes, there are admittedly some problematic scenes/character interactions, but it’s not a surprise to me that Auntie Mame has been praised and embraced by the LGBTQ community– above all, Mame embodies adventure, originality, acceptance, and unbridled joy. If you’re looking for an upper this New Year’s Eve (or on any night you feel like getting pleasantly sloshed), this is a solid pick.

With that said, I give you a cocktail menu inspired by Auntie Mame that Mame herself would certainly enjoy– mostly because it has tons of booze. It’s top drawer, I mean REALLY, top DRAWER! 

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

A Full Bar

A Full Bar

Yield: 5 Cocktails
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes

Because no amount of booze is too much for Mame Dennis.

Ingredients

Gin Martini, Extra Dry

  • 2 1/4 oz dry gin
  • 1 oz dry vermouth
  • 3 dashes Angostura orange bitters
  • Olive to garnish (optional)

Daiquiri, Sans Honey

  • 1 1/2 oz light rum
  • 3/4 oz freshly squeezed lime juice
  • 1/2 oz simple syrup
  • Absolutely NO honey
  • lime slice twist, to garnish

Spiked Dr. Pepper for Agnes

  • 2 oz Irish whiskey
  • Dr. Pepper Top Off
  • Maraschino Cherry, for garnish

Champagne Cocktail

  • Champagne
  • 1 Sugar Cube per Flute
  • Dash of Bitters

Flaming Mame

  • 1 1/2 oz blanco or silver tequila
  • 1 oz triple sec
  • 1 oz freshly squeezed lime juice
  • 1 tsp agave
  • 1/8 tsp Chile powder
  • tajin, for the rim
  • hollowed out lime end, with a bit more alcohol

Instructions

Extra Dry Gin Martini:

Chill your martini glass in the freezer for at least 10 minutes. Spill your vermouth into the glass and swish around to coat the inside of the glass.

Next, combine bitters and gin in a large glass. Fill with ice and stir-- never shake. Bruises the gin. Stir for about 30 seconds and strain into your martini glass. Garnish with an olive if you like-- though Auntie Mame says olives take up too much room in such a little glass.

A Better Upson Daiquiri, Sans Honey:

Add your ingredients to an ice filled cocktail shaker-- shake and strain into a cocktail glass (preferably chilled). Garnish with a twisted slice of lime.

Spiked Dr. Pepper for Ms. Gooch:

Pour Dr. Pepper over Irish (ala Mr. O'BANNion) whiskey in a highball glass filled with ice-- top with a cherry, and avoid signing any marraige licenses.

Champagne Cocktail for Auntie Veer--RAH:

Add a few dashes of bitters to a sugar cube in a champagne glass-- top with champers and pace yourself dammit.

A Flaming Mame:

Sometimes Mame can be short for Margaret-- which is an easy move to Margarita. Good thing margs are also fun made spicy and lit on fire!

Run a piece of lime around the rim of your martini glass and dip the rim into tajin to coat. Combine liquid ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake until chilled-- pour over ice in your tajin-ed glass. Float your lime end in the top of your marg, pour a bit more booze inside it, and get lit!

Fishberry Jam Beggar's Purses

Fishberry Jam Beggar's Purses

Yield: 6 purses
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes

...ie caviar beggar's purses. If you can find/afford Osetra, you won't regret it.

Ingredients

Chive Crepes

  • 2 1/2 tbsp unsalted butter
  • 1/2 cup whole milk
  • 1/4 cup flour
  • 1 egg
  • 1/8 tsp salt
  • 1 tbsp chopped chives

For Purses

  • 6 long chives
  • 6 tbsp creme fraiche
  • 3-4 oz caviar

Instructions

Collect your crepe ingredients!

Melt butter in an 8 inch skillet over medium heat-- set aside 2 tbsp for cooking the crepes, and continue to cook the rest until it browns (just a couple of minutes). In a small food processor or blender, mix butter, milk, flour, egg, and salt until smooth. Add minced chives last, and pulse just to combine. Refrigerate batter for 30 mins.

When ready, pour a bit of reserved butter into the same skillet and eat over medium-high. Lift the skillet away from the stove, and quickly pour a scant 1/4 cup of batter, tilting and rotating the pan to cover it's entire bottom. Place back over heat and continue to cook for about 30 seconds until the bottom edges start to turn golden brown.

Using a wide, pliable spatula and your fingers to help, flip the crepe over and continue to cook, another 30 or so seconds. Repeat 5 more times, leaving you with six roughly 6-inch crepes.

Microwave your long chives in a bit of water for 10-20 seconds until slightly softened. Then, dollop a tbsp of creme fraiche into the center of each crepe, followed by a heaping tsp of caviar. Wrap the crepe around the filling to create a purse, and tie with pliant chives.

Sprinkle remaining caviar into the crevices of your purse "tops" and serve immediately.

Pickled Rattlesnake Bites

Pickled Rattlesnake Bites

Yield: 6 cheese balls

A spicy riff on the Texas Roadhouse rattlesnack bite. Don't worry-- no actual rattlesnacks included.

Ingredients

Pickled Jalepenos

  • 1/4 cup white vinegar
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 1 small clove garlic, smashed
  • 1/2 tbsp sugar
  • 3/4 tsp salt
  • 2 jalapeño peppers, sliced 1/8 inch thick

Rattlesnake Bites

  • 3 oz monterey jack cheese
  • 3 oz pepper jack cheese
  • 1 1/2 oz cream cheese
  • 1/4 tsp paprika
  • 1/2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
  • 1/3 cup panko breadcrumbs, pulsed in a mini processor for a finer grain
  • 1/3 cup flour
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 2-3 cups of oil for frying
  • Siracha and Pickled Jalapeño for garnish

Instructions

Begin with your quick pickled jalepenos. Combine the vinegar, water, garlic, sugar, and salt in a small sauce pot and bring to a boil. Once the mixture is fully dissolved, add jalapeno slices and remove from heat. Let sit for at least 10 minutes to cool and transfer the jalepeno slices and brine to a container; cover with the brining liquid to fill the jar and store until ready to use-- you can store for up to two months.

Next, collect your cheeseball ingredients:

In a medium bowl, toss your cheeses and seasonings together. Add cream cheese to the bowl and stir to completely mix. Shape into six balls about 1.5 inches in width, and refrigerate for 15 minutes while you set up your breading station of flour, breadcrumbs and beaten egg.

Roll cheese balls first in egg, then flour, then egg again-- finally press each ball into your breadcrumbs coating completely.

Heat oil in a small but deep skillet or saucepan -- oil should be at about 1 inch depth. Once oil reaches a temperature of about 350, drop in cheese balls 1-2 at a time. Fry until golden brown on both sides, rolling the balls around in the oil for roughly 3 minutes. Repeat with the remaining balls, draining each batch on a paper towel lined plate.

Serve hot, topped with stripes of siracha and a pickled jalepeno.


Tuna (Tataki) with Peanut Butter (Sauce)

Tuna (Tataki) with Peanut Butter (Sauce)

Yield: 6 Hors D'oeuvres

A more exotic and far superior version of Mrs. Upson's Upson Downs tuna fish and peanut butter appetizer. Auntie Mame would approve.

Ingredients

Peanut Butter Sauce

  • 1/3 cup peanut butter
  • 2 tbsp rice vinegar
  • 2 1/2 tbsp soy sauce or tamari
  • 1 1/2 tbsp honey
  • 3/4 tsp grated ginger
  • 1 clove garlic
  • 1/8 tsp red pepper flakes
  • 1 tbsp water, to reach desired consistency

Tuna Tataki

  • 4 oz sushi grade ahi tuna steak at least 1 inch thick, cut into 1 inch thick rectangles
  • salt
  • 1/4 cup black and white sesame seeds
  • 2 tbsp neutral oil
  • 6 cucumber slices, about 1/2 inch thick
  • 6 tsps peanut sauce
  • sliced scallions, for garnish

Instructions

Start by making your peanut butter sauce.

Add all ingredients to a bowl and whisk until thoroughly combined. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.

Very lightly salt your tuna steak rectangles, and then coat each side with mixed sesame seeds, pressing for good coverage.

Heat oil in a small skillet on medium high/high, and sear tuna, about 30 seconds per each side. Your sesame seeds will turn a nice golden brown color.

Slice tuna steaks into 6 pieces-- the tuna should still be pink inside. Add a dollop of peanut sauce to your cucumber rounds, and top with tuna.

Serve on toothpicks, garnished with sliced scallions.

Matterhorn Cookies

Matterhorn Cookies

Yield: 4 cookies

For those who prefer sweets to extreme heights (aka me), these coconuty confections are a perfect sweet treat to wrap up a coctail menu.

Ingredients

  • 2 egg whites
  • 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/4 tsp almond extract
  • 1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
  • 3/4 cups white sugar
  • 1/2 cup flour
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup flaked coconut
  • 1 cup white melting chocolate

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 325, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper, and gather your ingredients.



In a medium bowl (either with a hand beater or stand mixer), beat egg whites, vanilla, almond extract, and ream of tartar until soft peaks form.
Gradually beat in sugar and whip until stiff.

In a separate bowl, combine the flour, salt, and coconut. Fold into the egg whites.

Drop batter onto prepared cookie sheets-- you'll want four rounds about 2 1/2 inches in diameter, four 2 inch rounds, four 1 1/2 inch rounds, and four 1 inch mounded mountain "toppers".

Bake for 15-20 minutes, keeping a careful watch, until only very slightly golden. Remove from oven and, while they are still hot, layer your mounds biggest to smallest on top, to create your "matterhorn mountains".

Finally, melt the white chocolate in a microwave in short bursts of 30 seconds, until melted. Drizzle over your cookie mountains, prefarably a bit neater than the ones show below.

Allow the chocolate to dry, and serve--you can go by layer, or eat the whole damn thing.

 

Epilogue

For the morning after– Auntie Mame’s best remedy for being hung, a black coffee and a sidecar. Highly recommend hair of the dog, 10/10.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Elf

Elf

A film by Jon Favreau, Elf has become a holiday staple in American households. I have to be honest– I was not initially a fan (I’m a bit of a Christmas movie snob). But I’m now happy to say that I’m no longer a cotton 

Love Actually

Love Actually

It’s almost Christmas as I write this, so Love Actually is, actually, all around. Thankfully, it’s a delightful movie full of relatable characters (except Kyra Knightly, who always sucks) and poignant moments that still make me ugly happy cry 20 yrs later. I have to 

Rosemary’s Baby

Rosemary’s Baby

Every time I watch Rosemary’s Baby, I forget how furious it makes me. Sure, it’s scary and all, but the truly horrifying amount of gaslighting perpetrated against Rosemary evokes mostly feminine RAGE. If you haven’t seen the film, read on.

Rosemary’s Baby follows a young couple–  housewife Rosemary (Mia Farrow) and unsuccessful actor Guy (John Cassavetes)– as they move into an NYC apartment that is suspiciously affordable. They befriend their elderly neighbors the Castevets, who are nosy and obnoxious but seemingly harmless. Unfortunately for Rosemary, that assessment couldn’t be farther off the mark– they’re actually witches, all of them witches! And they’re hell bent (see what I did there?) on impregnating Rosemary with Satan’s spawn. What ensues is a disturbing drugged up rape scene, horrible treatment of Rosemary by her husband and doctors, and a frightening reduction in Mia Farrow’s BMI. 

When it was released in 1968, Rosemary’s Baby was a critically acclaimed success. But, it was also one of those horror films rumored to be “cursed”. Whether or not the narrative and/or performances (Ruth Gordon, A+) actually garnered the attention of unholy beings is unclear, but plenty of directors have taken the risk of using it as inspiration for more modern day works (Get Out being a terrific example). And with good reason– it’s eerie, disturbing, and the ending leaves you feeling emotionally eff’d up for days. Just the right kind of movie for a more tame and intellectually stimulating Halloween eve.

There’s actually a fair amount of food scenes in Rosemary’s Baby– but the one that sticks out in my mind is dinner at the Castevets’. So here is a slightly more appetizing version of that, sans any potions or trippy herbs, that also happens to be super easy to put together.

To 1966! The year One.

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

vodka blush

Roman's Vodka Blush

Yield: 2 cocktails

A devilishly strong riff on a cosmopolitan characterized by underwordly pomegranate. Just don't spill any on the carpet, Minnie will kill you.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup vodka
  • 1/4 cup Cointreau
  • 1/4 cup pomegranate juice
  • 1/8 cup freshly squeezed lime juice

Instructions

Mix all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and over pour into champagne coups. Note, I drank half of mine before taking the above photo.

blackened bloody steak

Blackened Steak, Blood Rare

Yield: A Lot

Forgo the raw livers please and opt instead for a better version of the Castavet's sirloin. Don't worry, it's still bloody.

Ingredients

  • 1 tablespoon paprika
  • 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
  • 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp onion powder
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 3/4 tsp ground black pepper
  • 1 1/2 inch thick sirloin steak
  • 1 Tbsp canola oil
  • 1 Tbsp butter

Instructions

Blackening seasoning is very similar to cajun seasoning, give or take a couple of ingredients.

blackened seasoning

Pat your steak dry with paper towels, and coat generously with spices on both sides.

blackened steak

Heat butter and oil in a cast iron skillet on high. Add the steak to the pan and sear 5 minutes on one side, 4 minutes on the other. Remove from the pan and wrap in foil to rest, 10 minutes. Unwrap, and slice thickly against the grain.

blackened bloody steak

Do not consume if pregnant. Unless you are carrying the devil's spawn.

rosemary potatoes

Rosemary's Baby Potatoes

Yield: A lot
Cook Time: 35 minutes
Total Time: 35 minutes

Ok ok Rosemary's Baby Potatoes is a little punny, but what better way to please the asshole scumbag men in your life than to serve up potatoes with your meat?

Ingredients

  • 16 oz baby potatoes
  • 1 1/2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 12 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp freshly ground pepper
  • 1 1/2 tbsp minced rosemary
  • zest from 1/2 lemon
  • micro greens, for serving

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 425. Cut your baby potatoes in half, and toss with olive oil, salt, pepper, and rosemary. Place the baby potatoes cut side down on a cookie sheet-- this will ensure they will brown nicely.

potatoes

Bake for 30 minutes until potatoes are crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. Toss with a touch more olive oil and lemon zest, and serve with baby micro greens to double down on the pun AND pretend to be healthier.

roasted potatoes

Minnie's Sinfully Delicious Chocolate Mousse

Minnie's Sinfully Delicious Chocolate Mousse

Yield: 2 small servings/1 large

I'd join a cult for this mousse, it's that good.

Ingredients

  • 4 1/2 oz semi-sweet chocolate
  • 1/3 cup heavy cream, chilled
  • 1 extra large egg, separated
  • Pinch kosher salt
  • 1/2 tsp malted milk powder (for just a hint of chalky under taste-- but it's good I swear)
  • Pinch cream of tartar
  • 4 tsp granulated sugar
  • Whipped cream, for pentagram topping

Instructions

Gather your ingredients, keeping your sugar separate from your malted powder, cream of tartar and salt.

In a small saucepan, heat (but don't boil!) cream and chocolate chips-- stir until fully incorporated, then remove from heat and set aside.

Meanwhile, beat egg whites, kosher salt, malted milk powder, and cream of tartar with a hand mixer. When the egg whites begin to foam, slowly and steadily pour in the sugar. Continue to beat until meringue is glossy and reaches medium-stiff peaks-- this should take several minutes.

Go back to your chocolate mix, which will have cooled a bit to warm. Whisk in your egg yolk until well combined.

Add 1/3 of your chocolate mix to your meringue and fold very lightly with a rubber spatula, just to lighten the chocolate a bit. Add remaining chocolate and gently fold until meringue is incorporated-- but don't overmix! You want your mousse to be fluffy.

Pour into serving bowls and chill, covered, for at least 3 hours. While you wait, feel free to whip up some stabalized whipped cream (recipe here, I just used my mom's bourbon vanilla instead of the regular stuff, and made sure to stabilize the mix with cornstarch to make piping easier).

I could buy my soul back from Satan himself with this stuff, I swear.

 

Epilogue

In case you’re still coping with a hangover post Halloween shenanigans, here’s a little bonus smoothie recipe to help you recover. 

resurrection smoothie

Resurrection Smoothie (Tannis root not included)

Ingredients

  • 1 banana
  • 1/2 cup apple
  • 1/3 cup greek yogurt
  • 1/8 tsp ginger
  • 1 tsp honey
  • 1/3 coconut water
  • 1 tsp nigella seeds
  • 1 tsp each of snips and snails and puppy dogs tails

Instructions

Combine the first six ingredients in a blender and puree until smooth. Add the last two ingredients and sip slowly while sunken into your couch.

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Howl’s Moving Castle

Howl’s Moving Castle

I’ve been wanting to tackle Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki for a long while, and luckily my fave in the collection– Howl’s Moving Castle– is a bit simpler culinarily speaking its companions. Don’t worry, I’ll get to Spirited Away eventually. Based on a fantasy novel 

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3

Soooo My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 is not the best film. I understand the 27% critics’ consensus on Rotten Tomatoes. However, I also understand the 73% Audience Score. Because this is the type of movie you can enjoy while acknowledging its faults! Plus, it’s 

The Sandlot

The Sandlot

The Sandlot– a perfect movie for when it’s too hot to go outside and all you want is baseball themed junk food. If I can’t be as active as I was when I was a kid, at least I can still eat like one?

I always think of The Sandlot as the 1993 “middle child” between Stand By Me and Now and Then. And the “parents” are Field of Dreams and A League of Her Own. It works right? Set in early 1960’s California, the film follows puny goofus Scotty Smalls as he awkwardly acclimates to a new town and a new dad. Luckily, local kid hero Benny “the Jet” Rodriguez takes Scotty under his wing and intros him to his teammates– a motley crew of smack talking boys obsessed with all things baseball and the neighborhood sandlot on which they play. Fun times are had and, aside from projectile vomiting and the face rape of Wendy Peffercorn, everything seems to go swimmingly. That is, until Scotty gets the group into a real big pickle. What follows is an epic “quest” to secure a priceless baseball taken by the BEAST (that is, COLOSSAL dog) next door. And then, of course, there’s a really cool cameo at the end… but I won’t spoil it.

All this to say, if you’re over 30 and you haven’t seen The Sandlot, YOU’RE KILLIN’ ME SMALLS! You probably mix your wheaties with your mamas toe jam! Either way, welcome– you’re going to laugh a lot, maybe shed a happy tear, and definitely start craving s’mores. We’ll see if you have any room though after the massive hot dog and shoestring fries…

PLAY BALL!

The Movie

 

The Menu

Smoky TeQUIIIILA Margaritas

Smoky TeQUIIIILA Margaritas

Yield: 2 cocktails
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

A far better idea than chaw-- but still unwise to consume before getting on the Tilt-A-Whirl...

Ingredients

  • 2 slices lime
  • salt & chipotle pepper for the rim
  • 4 shots tequila blanco
  • Juice of three small limes
  • 1 1/2 shot triple sec
  • 1/2 shot agave
  • 1/4 tsp chipotle pepper

Instructions

Start by grilling your lime slices over high heat in a griddle pan. When you get a few nice griddle lines on one side, flip over and grill the other side (the process should take about 4 minutes all in). Set aside.

Mix roughly 1/4 tsp chipotle pepper and 1/2 tsp salt on a flat plate. Moisten the rim of your chosen glasses with a bit of lime juice, and press the rims down into the pepper salt-- rotate a few times to ensure a solid coating, adding more pepper and/or salt as needed. Repeat with your other glass and set aside.

In a cocktail shaker, mix all remaining ingredients with ice and shake vigorously. Pour into your glasses with more ice, and serve! Super delicious, and highly unlikely to cause you to upchuck (unless you're dumb and don't know your limits).

"The Beast" with pf flyer shoestring fries (extra dirty)

Yield: A Great Bambino size amount
Cook Time: 35 minutes
Total Time: 35 minutes

A Herculean sized hot dog(s) with ingredients for each of our fave kid players! This ain't no LZ weenie. You got a Dodger Dog (for Benny) sandwiched inside a quarter pound Nathan's famous NYC beef frank (Babe Ruth's fave), laid on some stretchy melted yellow cheese for gum chewing Yeah-Yeah, pickle relish for Scotty Smalls (who is ALWAYS in a damn pickle), caramelized peppercorn onions for Peffercorn loving Squints, two kinds of mustard for Tommy and Timmy "repeat" Simmons, crumbled bacon for Hamilton "Ham" Porter, sliced hot chilis for Kenny who always brings the heat, and finally-- nothing at all for Bertram. 'Cause he got real into the 60's and no one ever saw him again...

Add in a side of air fried PF Flyer extra dirty shoestring fries and you'll be full for FOR-EV-VOR.

FOR-EV-VOR.

FOR-EEEEV-VOOOOR.

Ingredients

  • 1 large or 2 small russet potatoes
  • 1/4 tsp onion powder
  • 1/4 tsp paprika
  • 1/4 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/8 tsp ground pepper
  • pinch cayenne pepper
  • 1 tbsp canola oil, divided
  • 1 hot dog bun (preferably ballpark)
  • 1 Dodger Dog (ie a 10 inch hot dog)
  • 1 Jumbo Quarter Pound Beef Frank (preferably Nathan's Famous)
  • 2 slices yellow cheddar cheese
  • 1/2 small white onion, thinly sliced
  • freshly ground pepper
  • pickle relish
  • spicy mustard
  • yellow mustard
  • 2 pieces of bacon, fried and crumbled
  • 1/2 red chili pepper, sliced at a diagonal
  • ketchup, for serving

Instructions

Rinse and dry your potato(es) and slice with a mandolin into thin strips using the 1/8 inch blade.

Preheat your air fryer to 380. Toss your potato strips with spices and 1 tsp of canola oil-- place in preheated fryer basket, making sure not to crowd them too much (you can fry in batches if you need to).

Air fry each batch for roughly 8 minutes, tossing every few minutes to ensure your shoestrings don't burn. Once crisped and golden, remove to a parchment lined cookie sheet and add more salt to taste. Keep warm while you preheat your oven to 375 and prep your dogs.

Begin by thinly slicing your 1/2 onion (WEAR PROTECTIVE EYEWARE IF NECESSARY SQUINTS). Toss with remaining oil, add a couple of hefty cranks of ground peppercorn, and heat over medium low in a small nonstick skillet. Cover tightly, allowing your onions to caramelize over the course of 20 or so minutes.

While you wait, gather the rest of your hot dog ingredients!

We're going to be authentic here, grilling your Dodger Dogs while you slowly boil/steam your gargantuan beef franks.

Layer your two slices of cheese inside your hot dog bun and bake for just a few minutes to let the cheese melt. Once your dogs are ready, slice your beef frank almost in half, and set your Dodger Dog inside.

Lay inside your melty cheesy bun, and add pickle relish to one side, caramelized onion to the other side of your dogs. Top with a drizzle of each kind of mustard, and sprinkle your bacon crumbles and sliced chilis over top. Serve with shoestring fries and ketchup on the side, and hope you can fit it all inside your mouth because it's GD GOOD.

Babe-y Ruth S'mores

Babe-y Ruth S'mores

Yield: However Many You Can Eat
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

In honor of the the Great Bambino, The Sultan of Swat, The Titan of Terror, the Colossus of Clout, the King of Crash!

And childhood 🙂

Ingredients

  • Graham Crackers
  • Jumbo Marshmallows
  • Bite Sized Baby Ruth Candy Bars

Instructions

On an aluminum foil lined cookie sheet, lay out your graham crackers broken into squares, and top alternately with Baby Ruth bars and marshmallows.

Set your broiler to low and broil, closely monitoring to make sure nothing burns. When good and toasty, smush together and do as "Ham" Hamilton instructs-- you SCARF.

 

 

Epilogue

Wondering where the kids of The Sandlot are now? Here ya go! 

Be forewarned though, some of it’s bleak. So maybe look at this cute real life Hercules instead.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Big

Big

Happy bday to Tom Hanks! Naturally I had to celebrate with some kid friendly party food and a screening of 1988’s Big– a very absurd, but well-deservedly loved 80’s fave directed by the great Penny Marshall.  If you haven’t seen it (she types scornfully), a