Recipes for foodies and film nerds. Because life's too short for stale popcorn and crappy movies.
Hocus Pocus– what a goofy ass time. Is it deserving of critical acclaim? No. But it’s a Halloween staple that everyone loves so much Disney just released a sequel 29 years later. And Sarah is STILL REALLY FUNNY! Both Hocus Pocus 1 & 2 star …
I read somewhere that Michael Keaton ad libbed 90% of his lines as Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice. That’s insane to me, because I consider it to be one of his best performances (it’s also his favorite role). And, the movie itself is still one of the funniest dark …
If you imagined me spinning around my kitchen listening to Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchell while executing this Practical Magic menu, that vision would be 100% accurate. It would also not be an exaggeration to say that I’ve watched this movie at least 30 times. …
I’m relatively certain I saw Napoleon Dynamite in theaters five times when it came out. I also suspect that my high school bestie and I ruined the experience for everyone else by laughing so hard. The goofball dick bf watching in the auditorium got us …
The NeverEnding Story is one of those perfectly messed up childhood movies that you watch now and feel like you belong to a special club. Because it’s a REALLY good 80’s movie. Based on a bonkers German fantasy novel by Michael Ende, The NeverEnding Story …
30 years after its release (omg I’m OLD), Forrest Gump still holds up. Parts may not necessarily be as PC as they were once thought to be, but it’s still an A+ film that deserved all six of its Academy Award wins. That doesn’t even include nominees (looking at you Gary Sinise).
Released right after the Fourth of July, Forrest Gump is one of those perfectly balanced mashups of comedy and drama, with just a hint of fantasy. Despite his IQ of 75, Forrest lives (and dare I say it, thrives) through almost every major event spanning the 1950’s to the 1980’s. Throughout it all, he maintains what could be seen as blissful ignorance– except for those moments when his losses are so keenly felt onscreen that the audience mourns right alongside him. I cannot imagine anyone but Tom Hanks in this role, and it might be the best of his career.
Other performances of note– Sally Field as Mama <3, Robin Wright as Jenn-ay, Mykelti Williamson as Benjamin Buford Blue aka Bubba, the aforementioned Gary Sinise as Lt. Dan Taylor, and Forrest Gump’s CGI floating feather. … there was a lot of CGI in this movie btw, you think Tom Hanks could really hit a ping pong ball that well?
When this movie anniversary came round, the menu kind of made itself up. How could I NOT make any of these dishes? I would’ve been stupid or somethin’. Now go watch Forrest Gump– don’t walk, run Forrest, RUN!
Mind BLOWN how much this actually tastes like Dr. Pepper. Just don't drink too many, or you'll gotta pee. Pour all ingredients into two ice-filled glasses and stir briefly. Garnish with lime wedges. Shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. I would've made them all but hell. I think Bubba would've liked this one best. Soak shrimp in salted water-- this helps thaw the shrimp (if they're frozen) and also lightens any residual fishiness. While your shrimps are soaking, heat oil and butter over medium in a sautee pan and gather your base ingredients. Add your holy trinity of onion, pepper and celery to the pan and cook until vegetables are softened and onions are caramelized. Stir frequently so that nothing burns. Add the garlic and spices, stirring briefly. Follow that up with flour and toss with the spiced veggies until the smell of raw flour dissipates. Deglaze the pan with a glug of wine and stir until starting to thicken. Add the stewed tomatoes, bay leaf, broth and Worcestershire. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer, uncovered, for about 7 minutes until sauce thickens. See below for desired consistency. Remove the shrimp from their salt water bath and peal away any shells/tails-- drain on paper towels. Add the shrimp to the skillet and cook for about a minute until pink, flipping as you cook. If you allow the shrimps to completely curl up, they'll be overcooked! Remove bay leaf, and finish off with hot sauce, salt, and pepper to taste. Serve shrimp creole over hot rice and sprinkle with fresh parsley. That... that's about it. RIP Jennay. The peas to Forrest's carrots. Get them peas and carrots, and quickly whisk the honey, mustard, lemon juice, and olive oil. Melt butter in a saute pan over medium heat. Add carrots, salt, and pepper and toss until well-coated in butter, about 2 minutes. Add water, lower heat and simmer, stirring occasionally, until liquid is reduced by half (4 to 5 minutes). Serve warm, with more cracked pepper and lemon zest on top. Straight up no churn vanilla. Except there's a little something extra for Dan Taylor, a man who likes his booze. Beat whipping cream in a mixing bowl on medium high speed until stiff peaks form. Add sweetened condensed milk to another smaller bowl and stir in vanilla extract and bourbon. Pour the condensed milk mix into the whipped cream and carefully fold together with a spatula. Pour into a 9x5 bread loaf pan and smooth the top. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and freeze for at least 8 hours. When ready to enjoy, scoop ice cream into ice cream cones and thank all the gods you still have two legs. And if you don't, you can always get some made out of space ships. MAGIC legs. The kind of ice cream cone you use matters! Purists like a cake cone. 'Cause she always said... etc etc. Only a few ingredients needed for these (phew!). Heat the heavy cream in the microwave until it simmers. Pour over chocolate and butter in a mixing bowl and allow to sit for several minutes. Add vanilla extract and stir until completely incorporated and smooth. Place a strip of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the chocolate (this will prevent beads of condensation from collecting) and refrigerate for at least an hour and a half. While you wait, prep your fillings! Add three 1/4 tsp of dollops of jam to a small piece of parchment paper, spaced about an inch apart. Freeze for at least an hour until stiffened. Then grab some some chopped walnuts and toss in a small skillet with sugar and cloves, toasting over medium heat until just caramelized. Lastly, collect some sweetened coconut and pulse quickly in a mini food processor until you get a finer texture. Using a spoon, scoop out 9 equal portions of chocolate (each about a tbsp of chocolate). For the first three, roll into balls and then roll into a mound of your shredded coconut. Place frozen jam balls into the center of 3 more of your chocolate mounds and mold the chocolate around them. Roll these three truffles in cocoa powder, lightly tapping so that excess powder falls away. With the final three mounds-- roll in finely sugared walnuts. When ready to serve, if you're EXTRA committed, find a little chocolate box and some teeny truffle papers for your chocolates. I do NOT advise sitting on a park bench and using the chocolates as a conversation starter with strangers. Only Tom Hanks can get away with that. If you make these ahead, you can store in the fridge in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.
Boozy Dr. Peppers
Yield:
2 Cocktails
Ingredients
Instructions
Shrimp Creole ala Bayou La Batre
Yield:
2 Servings
Ingredients
Instructions
Peas and Carrots
Yield:
2 Servings
Ingredients
Instructions
Add mustard vinaigrette to the pan with carrots, followed by the peas. Cook, stirring frequently, until peas are warmed through and sauce clings to veggies, about 5 minutes more.
Lt. Daaan, Ice Creeeeammmm
Yield:
8 Servings (I wanted leftovers...)
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
A Bitty Box of Chocolates for Momma
Yield:
9 Truffles
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Huffington Post WHY: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/movie-recipes-forrest-gum_n_3498916.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids– a classic family film that made every child in the 1980’s crave Little Debbie’s. Also the movie that made me realize grown ups should ALWAYS listen to their pets. QUARK KNEW EVERYTHING THE ENTIRE TIME SZALINSKI. Set in an unspecified …
At some point I’ll have a series of menus based on movies from the 90’s that are actually based on literature– there were THREE in 1999 alone! So let’s start with the best of those, 10 Things I Hate About You.
Loosely based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, 10 Things stars Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger (in his first American movie), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Larisa Oleynik, and a bunch of other stars from the 90’s. Sure, it’s a cliche film at this point, but it’s still fun watching Julia as Kat verbally annihilate most of the people she comes across. It’s worth noting too that some of the best performances in the film are not actually given by the film’s young actors– nope it’s Allison Janney as the sex-mad counselor, Daryl “Chill” Mitchell as the English teacher with attitude, and Larry Miller as Kat/Bianca’s overprotective father who shine. I could watch a movie with just those three all day. But in the meantime, the youths do an ok job. Even Andrew Keegan (who turned into a cult leader in real life– fun!).
I won’t bother going through the plot of 10 Things I Hate About You in great detail (guy crushes on girl, hires another guy to take out his girl’s sister, and everybody ends up happy blah blah). Just watch the trailer. Then, make all of the foods below and thank all the gods you believe in that we made it out of high school alive.
... though it's strong enough that you might also end up dancing on a table. Add all of the ingredients except the beer to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously untill fully chilled, and pour into two cups filled with ice. Top off with beer and cue some Biggie. For Kat, who's likes include Thai food, feminist prose and angry-girl music of the indie-rock persuasion. Begin with the peanut sauce-- mix all of the first ten ingredients in a bowl until fully incorporated. Then, gather the remaining ingredients. Toss everything together, garnishing with cilantro and chopped peanuts. Inspired by Aussie native Heath, but really this recipe is for Ms. Perky-- ever the champion of engorged, swollen, turgid, tumescent bratwursts pulsating with desire. I even made legit Australian tomoato sauce! It's different from ketchup, trust me. Start with your sauce! Add all of your tomato sauce ingredients to a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, and simmer, stirring occasionally, for about an hour. In a non-stick skillet, add olive oil and heat on medium-low. Add minced onions and cook until caramelized, stirring frequently to prevent the onions from burning (about 10 mins). Allow to cool slightly, and mix with the innards of your brats, squeezed out of their casings. Whisk the egg and brush the edges of your pastry. Add your sausage in a line lengthwise in the middle of your puff pastry, and pull the edges around it to create a long, quivering, pork filled roll mmmmm. Cut into four equal pieces and place on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Brush with additional egg wash. Bake at 400 for roughly 25 minutes, until pastry is golden brown. Serve with your tomato sauce and follow up with a cold shower you dirty, dirty girl. Poor Cameron-- the boy who learns French for dummy Bianca. He earned his own recipe. Add vinegar, salt, 2 qts of water to a large stock pot and bring to a boil-- throw in your parsnip fries and cook for about 7 minutes until tender, but not falling apart. Remove from heat with a strainer and allow to come to room temperature. Drain each batch on paper towels, and allow to come to room temperature. After about 30 minutes, bring your oil back up to frying temp, and fry your batches again-- about 3 minutes each. You're looking for a golden brown color. Allow to drain briefly on paper towels while you mix up your mayo and dijon. Serve hot with some flaky salt! These are actual cookies from a place in the UK called Shrewsbury, and were a fave treat of Queen Elizabeth (who in turn really liked her Shakespeare). THE CONNECTIONS. Preheat your oven to 375. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add in egg, and continue to mix until fully incorporated. Then, gradually add the flour until a rough dough forms. Finish off with the caraway seeds, lemon zest, and salt. Form into golf-size balls and place on a parchment lined cookie sheet. Chill for about 15 minutes, and then flatten slightly with a glass. Bake for roughly 15 minutes or until edges of the cookies just about begin to turn golden brown. Cool on a wire rack. While you wait, mix half and half with powdered sugar until you get a spreadable mixture. Spread over the top of each cookie, and (using a brush or your fingers), flick with food coloring to resemble paint splatters. Chill to allow icing to harden for at least 30 minutes before serving.
Tequila Party Punch (Way Better than the high school stuff)
Yield:
2 Cocktails
Ingredients
Instructions
Spicy Vegan Thai Noodle Salad
Yield:
2 hefty servings
Ingredients
Instructions
(Tumescent) Aussie Sausage Rolls
Ingredients
Tomato Sauce (NOT KETCHUP)
Instructions
Puis-je vous offrir un panais... frite?
Ingredients
Instructions
While you wait, heat oil in a deep skillet and heat to roughly 380 degrees (I use a candy thermometer to make sure I've got the right temp). Add your thyme sprig to the oil and fry the parsnips in two batches, about 1 minute each. Temperature will fluctuate as you add and remove batches, so play with your gauge and wait between batches to make sure you stay at around 380. 
Shrewsbury Cookies, Paintballed
Ingredients
Instructions
Clueless is next guys, in case you’re like, curious.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Boondock Saints: “A juvenile, ugly movie that represents the worst tendencies of directors channeling Tarantino.” Fair enough. But it’s still a fun ride and Sean Patrick Flanery is feckin’ hot. If you grew up in the 90’s, you’ve likely seen Boondock Saints and have since …
Starring the incomparable Rosalind Russell (ie the star of His Girl Friday and many other fast talking classics), Auntie Mame is a long time personal favorite. Initially set during the Prohibition era, the film follows bohemian socialite Mame Dennis, who is granted custody of her …
A film by Jon Favreau, Elf has become a holiday staple in American households. I have to be honest– I was not initially a fan (I’m a bit of a Christmas movie snob). But I’m now happy to say that I’m no longer a cotton headed ninny muggins, and have learned to greatly appreciate this goofy ass film.
Maybe it’s the cast– Ed Asher as Santa Clause, and Peter Billingsly as a head elf? Come on. Or possibly it’s the various, comedic homages to Christmas claymation classics I love (the Narwhal might be my favorite character). OR it’s Peter Dinklage’s hilarious and enraged cameo. I could go on. But for the purposes of this post, let’s say it’s because Elf is kind of a foodie movie. Or, at least, it has a lot of food/food commentary in it. Let’s examine all of the nuggets of wonderful culinary advice Elf has to offer:
It’s a friggin’ goldmine of gastronomic wisdom.
So if you’re planning to watch Elf at some point during the holidays, here is a breakfasty/brunchy menu that will go perfectly with your screening. And, it actually tastes good– go figure!
Potentially the most disgusting breakfast ever captured on film (though 3 Men & A Little Lady is a contender too)-- Buddy's spaghetti breakfast in Elf has been consumed at many a holiday party. I myself cannot get behind the thought of maple syrup on pasta, but why not be clever and make the spaghetti out of something a little less gross and far more breakfast-y-- crepes! NOTE: this plate should never be served cold/room temp. It doesn't work. Heat is your friend here. Start with your crepe batter! Combine your eggs, milk, melted butter, salt, and sugar with a hand mixer. Sift in flour, and continue to hand beat on medium until smooth. Heat a small dollop of butter in a 10 inch nonstick skillet over medium heat-- spreading as it melts to lightly coat the pan. Pour 1/4 cup of batter into te heated pan, tilting the pan immediatelly to spread the batter into a thin even layer. Cook for roughly 30 seconds until the top begins to dry. Using a thin spatula, flip the crepe (you can use your fingers CAREFULLY to help). Cook for another 30 secs and transfer to a plate. Repeat with the remaining batter. Working with 2-3 crepes at a time, layered on top of one another, cut into very thin long strips-- this is your crepe spaghetti! Sure it looks more like linguini, but this was my first time making crepes and I was excited. Feel free to swirl your crepe pasta into swirls as you go, covering with plastic wrap to prevent them from drying out. Once you're finished cutting your crepe sgetti, gather your pasta toppings. As mentioned, temperature is KEY here-- which means you need to TOAST your pop tarts before you crumble them, then keep them someplace warm. In the same crepe pan from before, melt 1/2 tbsp of butter-- toss in your crepe sgetti with syrup and heat till fully warmed through. Plate your heated, syruped sgetti and add your toppings (inclusive of warmed chocolate syrup). If you want to add more maple syrup, feel free-- my sugar intake can't handle it but I'm no Buddy. Because this meal needed something at least a LITTLE savory... For the bacon, I always start with a room temp pan and heat the bacon gradually to ensure crispness, flipping once or twice to cook on both sides. For the candied element, add about 3 tbsp of syrup to the pan just before your strips finish cooking and let them sizzle away for a minute or so, flipping once. Just as the bacon is about to finish, add some freshly cracked black pepper. Instead of draining on paper towels, lay your bacon strips apart from one another on a piece of parchment paper. The syrupy coating on the outside with firm up a bit and you'll end up with a chewy, but still crispy, slice of heaven. These are not for throwing at other children, no matter how good your arm is. Gather your ingredients together like good little elves, and preheat your oven to 375. In a medium bowl, beat the butter and extracts with a hand mixer until smooth and creamy. Add half of your powdered sugar and beat on medium high until fully combined and little fluffy. Switch to low speed, and add the flour and salt--- when it's roughly incorporated, you can once again increase your beater speed until the dough comes together. Add in your nuts last, beating for just a bit to evenly distribute. Cover the dough and chill for 30+ minutes. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and divide your dough into four equal portions. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on parchment lined sheets. Bake the cookies until golden brown on the bottom edges and just barely browned on top, about 15 minutes. Allow the cookies to cool for 10 minutes on the baking sheet, then very gently roll them in the confectioners’ sugar to coat completely. Place the cookies on a wire rack to cool completely. You'll notice the powdered sugar will melt a bit, but that's fine-- we're going to reroll the cookies in sugar once more to get the "snowy" effect. Light, crumbly, and thankfully not TOO sweet. ... because it has booze in it. Obviously. The guys in the Empire State mailroom would agree. Brew your fave coffee (however many cups is up to you, though with the amount of sugar already in this meal, use caution). Add booze and cream/half and half, and top with peppermint whipped cream and smashed pepermint candies. To make peppermint whipped cream-- see my standard whipped cream recipe here, but sub peppermint extract for the vanilla.
Buddy's Breakfast "Spaghetti"
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
30 minutes
Ingredients
Crepes
Spaghetti Toppings
Instructions
Maple Syrup Candied Bacon
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Total Time:
10 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Snowball Cookies
Yield:
4 cookies
Cook Time:
20 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
The World's Best Cup of Christmas Coffee
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Total Time:
10 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Me after this meal:
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
It’s almost Christmas as I write this, so Love Actually is, actually, all around. Thankfully, it’s a delightful movie full of relatable characters (except Kyra Knightly, who always sucks) and poignant moments that still make me ugly happy cry 20 yrs later. I have to …
