Scrooged

Instructions

Add the vodka, blood orange juice, and cranberry juice into glasses with ice. Stir and top with a splash of club soda (since Frank likes his bubbles). Garnish with a mint sprig and drink every time Frank Cross gets hit in the head. Or balls. Both scenarios are frequent so we're definitelly getting hammered tonight.

Instructions

Start with your taters!

While some folks prefer a fluffy mash and some a buttery starchy mash, I actually went for a 50/50 mix here and used Russet and Yukon Golds. Add these to a pot of salted water and bring to a boil.

While the potatoes cook, heat a skillet over medium and add your butter-- melt completely until foamy, and add your chopped onion. Caramelize slowly, lowering the temp if need to avoid burning them. Once they are softened and mostly transparent, add minced garlic and stir for another two minutes. Set aside.

Once your potatoes are fork tender, strain them and place in a bowl with dairy mix and two additional tbsps of butter. Using a hand mixer (or a stand mixer if you prefer), blend until mostly smooth (the potato skins will create lumps naturally). Add in onions and stir to fully incorporate.

Cover and set aside on a warm part of the stove while you move on to your meats.

Pat your filets dry and sprinkle liberally with a mix of your smoked salt, smoked paprika, and pepper. Insert a meat thermometer into the side of one filet, as you'll need to be VERY precise in order to get to your preferred level of rareness (for me, that's about 123 for medium rare, given the temp will continue to increase during the resting phase).

Heat a cast iron skillet on high and when it starts to smoke, add your neutral oil to the skillet, immediately followed by your filets. Sear each side (including the edges) for about 2 minutes each. Add your last 4 tbsps of butter to the skillet and, tilting your skillet, use a spoon to baste your filets with melted butter before turning and basting again.

Continue to flip and baste until you hit your preferred internal temperature-- move the filets to a plate and allow to sit, loosely tented in foil, for about 5 minutes until the thermometer reads between 130-135. Slice on a bias, and watch the meaty juices run like Niaaagra Faaalls all over your lumpy potatoes.

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 450 and bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil. Blanch your sprouts for 5 mins, and rinse in cold water before spreading on a towel to dry completely. You do NOT want there to be a ton of residual water or your sprouts will turn to mush in the oven.

Cut your brussies in half and now it's time to SMASH THEM GOOD using anything with a solid flat surface (I found my cooking mallet to be particularly satisfying)..

Place onto a parchment paper lined cookie sheet and toss with olive oil. Roast your brussies for about 10-13 minutes, flipping once about halfway through. While you wait for them to crisp up, CRUSH YOUR WALNUTS. If you've seen my post for First Wives Club, you'll note the following technique applies here as well.

Heat a dry, non-stick skillet on high and toast your nuts, stirring frequently to avoid burning them (though let's be honest this would also be on theme). This should only take a few minutes.

Once your brussel sprouts have crisped nicely in the oven, whisk together your vinegar, honey, and pepper flakes-- drizzle over your brussels and toasted nuts and transfer to your tv dinner trays. Sprinkle with pomegranate arils. Serve fresh out of the oven or (if you're reheating) retoast briefly before eating at the same temp for a few mins.

Instructions

Add figs, raisins, apricot and candied ginger to a bowl and pour brandy over top. Stir to combine the mixture and let sit for at least 3 hours and up to overnight in order to let the brandy fully soak into the fruit.

After the soaking period has passed, grab a separate bowl and toss together the breadcrumbs, flour, baking powder, brown sugar, and spices and mix thoroughly. Then, prep your grated apple, citrus zest, and egg.

Mix everything together-- you should end up with a very sticky 1 1/2 cups worth of batter. Pour into a generously buttered high heat-proof glass bowl and cover-- luckily, I had a sundae dish, which is perfect given how we're going to steam this sucker (you'll see why). Press the batter down and smooth out the top. Then, if you have any silver trinkets to add, now's the time. Mine felt particularly timely for the end of 2024.

Cover, and if you have time, allow to sit overnight to allow the flavors to meld.

When you're ready to steam the pudding, cut a circle out of parchment paper that's the same as the inner diameter of your pudding container. Lightly butter the parchment and place it, butter side down, on top of the batter. Follow that up with two more pieces of larger parchment paper that will more than cover the top of the pudding container and come up with a way to seal it-- if its a flat bowl you can tie it with kitchen twine, but i was lucky enough to have sewing elastic that made this A LOT easier. Trip off excess paper and you're ready to go.

Bring a large pot of water to a very low simmer and place a folded cloth on the bottom of the pot-- this will prevent the pudding container from coming in direct contact with the pot. Otherwise, your pudding will scald/scorch and taste horrific (I know of what I speak). Lower the pudding into the water on top of the folded cloth, making sure that the water level comes halfway up the pudding dish. Cover the pot with a lid and steam over VERY low heat for approximately 4 hours. Check periodically to ensure the water level is still at the halfway point and add more water if needed.

When the pudding is done steaming, carefully lift out the pudding container and let it sit for 5 minutes. Then, invert the pudding onto a plate. Let it sit until the pudding slides out onto the plate (it shouldn't take long at all). Let the pudding cool completely before you light that shit on fire (sorry Frank, I had to).

While you wait, mix up the brandy butter-- which is basically a boozy buttercream. Whip the room temperature butter with a hand mixer until fluffy. Add the powdered sugar a little at a time, continuing to beat with the mixer until the mixture begins to thicken. Finally, add the brandy and mix a bit more-- the butter should be pale and taste gd delish.

Chill for a bit (20 mins minimum) before serving, which is the perfect amount of time to flambee the crap out of your pudding.

Heat a quarter cup of brandy in a steal measuring cup on low heat. Light it with a match or lighter and immediately pour over your figgy pudding and watch (ideally with the lights turned off) as the drama unfolds.

Once that sucker's done burning, slice into wedges and serve warm with brandy butter. And, whoever gets the trinket gets to not be a dick in 2025. Otherwise, the Ghost of Christmas Future's comin' for ya.