Recipes for foodies and film nerds. Because life's too short for stale popcorn and crappy movies.
HEEYYYY YOUUUU GUYYYYYS, it’s National Junk Food Day! Which could really be any day for me, especially if pizza is involved. And I’m relatively certain this would be the case for The Goonies too– which is why you now have a pirate-y, Chunk-y, highly fattening set …
So last month kind of sucked for women. Actually, it really really sucked. But all the more reason to watch A League of Their Own– 30 years old on July 1, 2022 and a wonderful film to spend your afternoon with if you’re not feeling very ra ra as a female this July 4.
The All-American Girls’ Professional Baseball League was founded in 1943, when men’s baseball was put on pause during WW2. Of course, once the men came marching home, it survived only until 1954. A League of Their Own tells the story of the women ballplayers who first joined the league, and who worked tirelessly to prove themselves as star athletes in the face of overwhelming misogyny.
First off, Penny Marshall is a badass female director who was making movies at a time when the industry was even more dominated by white men than it is now. For A League of Their Own, she insisted that all of the female actors be able to play baseball– and even though Geena Davis was cast at the very last minute, she very quickly overtook her fellow actors in all the hitting, running and sliding aspects of the game. Because, this movie was made by women who were as impressive as the women they played. Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell, Lori Petty, Megan Cavanagh, baby Tea Leoni, and so many more– all very unique characters who combatted the docile little housewife/mother archetypes and not only made it to the World Series but figured out how to market themselves getting there.
I’m not forgetting Tom Hanks in his absolutely wonderful role as alcoholic coach Jimmy Dugan (THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL)– Tom Hanks is almost always terrific. But to dwell on him for too long would defeat the point of this post. It actually kind of bugs me that his pic in movie posters is more prominent than Geena, but bygones. Just watch the movie and maybe walk away with a little more optimism and determination than you might have before you started. And then, make a donation to the Geena Davis Institute.
Time for the League of Their Own movie menu! It’s so many hot dogs– each one kind of regional, but more importantly, inspired by some of my favorite characters from the film. And a lotta liquor.
Batter uuuuup, hear that caaaall… the time has cooome, for one and aaaaaalll… to plaaaaay baaaaall!
A peachy cocktail for our favorite baseball team-- with a lot of bourbon for our favorite coach Jimmy Dugan. Drink enough and you might end up needing a 53 second bathroom break. Throw peaches, mint, and simple syrup into a cocktail shaker-- muddle gently to make sure all of the peach and mint flavors are extruded. Add the bourbon, and fill the shaker with ice-- shake until well-chilled, and strain into two glasses. Top off with ginger beer (or seltzer water if you must) and more ice. Garnish with fresh mint and a peach slice! MULE! NAG! Here's a peppery hot dog fit for two bickering sisters from a farm outside of Portland-- and since there is no "Oregon style" dog, why not hybridize a Seattle and a California dog with some extra dairy? After all, both Dottie and Kit know their way around a cow's udders... Toast your bun in a 400 degree oven for 5-ish minutes-- just keep an eye on it so that it doesn't burn! Set the bun aside to come to warm/room temperature. Wrap your split dog with bacon and sear for a few minutes on each side until the bacon is extra crispy. Schmear your cream cheese on one side of your bun, and add your bacon wrapped dog. Top with onions, followed by your duo of peppers. Let's make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies! Time to fully load a New York/Coney Island style hot dog inspired by the League's sassy NYC besties Mae and Doris. Of course, Coney Island Dogs are actually from Michigan-- but HEYO so is Madonna. And there's plenty of beef and Irish cheddar for Rosie. A perfect meal after a sexy af night of swing dancing... and oops, maybe your bosoms come flying out? Boil hot dogs in a small saucepan full of water for 4-5 minutes. They can sit in said water to keep warm while you prep the other ingredients-- that's just extra NYC. Add your two dogs to your bun, load up one side with sauerkraut, one side with spicy mustard. Top with a load of chili, a sprinkle of onions, and a hefty portion of grated irish chedder. Place under the broiler for a minute to melt the cheese (yum) and eat the whole. damn. thing. For the chili-- you can drastically reduce the ingredients of my Dick Tracy recipe here (ommitting the beans), or you can be lazy and go with store bought. There's a guide to the best ones here! For an extra quick sauerkraut, you can combine a 1/2 cup of shredded cabbage with 1 tbsp of white vinegar and 1/3 cup water in a small saucepan. Cover and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until cabbage is tender (about 15 minutes). Poor Betty Spaghetti. She deserves her own damn dog, she went through it. War sucks. Spritz your bun with olive oil and toast in an oven at 400 degrees for 5-ish minutes until just crispy, but not burned. Set aside. Grill/sear your Italian sausage for roughly 8 minutes on medium high, turning periodically to guarantee an even char. When done, slice at a bias into 1 1/2 inch chunks. Toss spaghetti with hot tomato sauce and spiral with a fork-- place these pasta rounds into the bun and top with sausage chunks. Pour residual tomato sauce over your spaghetti dogs and top with grated parmesan. You can use store bought if you like, but I have a from scratch pizza sauce recipe that is delightful in a pinch! Who knew beauty queen Ellen Sue and super shy Shirley Baker would each be such badasses in their own way? But THAT'S THE DAMN POINT. So here's a slaw dog (with some peaches, cause why not) for these two Southern belles. Start with your slaw-- mix the milky whi--whiiiite mayo with the vinegar, mustard, peach and red onion. Toss with your cabbage and allow to sit for 30 minutes. The slaw should be at room temp anyway, duh. Flavor with salt and pepper as needed. Grill pork frank for roughly 6 minutes, turning frequently for an even char. Add to bun and top with slaw. Drizzle with your favorite bbq sauce and mwah! If it wasn't sexist as all hell I'd say it's worth a kiss. You can of course use your favorite bbq sauce-- but yep, I have a really good one already made here! Saying it now-- Colorado native Marla Hooch is my favorite Rockford Peach. I still can't watch the scenes with her dad. Crushes my soul. But let's be real, she's the best ballplayer on the team-- despite the fact that at the beginning of the film, she's deemed not quite pretty enough for (THE IRONY) Jon Lovitz. So here's a messy Colorado/Denver dog for Marla Hooch, who can get boozy as fuck and reel in a man when even Madonna's around. Because (and I know I'm repeating myself) she's the best. Simmer hot dog in 1/2 cup of Coors beer for 5-6 minutes until plump. Then, char it over an open flame (gas or otherwise) until blackened. Mix the green pepper, red onion, and sour cream. Add to the bun, together with your charred dog, and top with sliced jalepeno. What a hitter! Lol Alice, YOU'RE KILLIN' ME. But as the resident Canadian on the team, she inspired me. Who doesn't love poutine? Start with your super simple gravy-- melt butter in a non-stick pan, and add flour to make a roux. In other words, a flour butter paste, which will smell like popcorn when ready. Add your broth and seasonings-- stir until fully mixed and boiling. Reduce heat, and simmer until thickened (just a minute or two). Set aside and keep very warm. Grill frank, turning frequently. Place in bun and top with hot fries, cheese curds, and gravy. Sprinkle with chives as garnish. Oh hey look I've made french fries before. And they're GOOD. Part of me wanted Evelyn to have all the hot dogs, but let's be real-- she was all about her Stillwell Angel. And Stillwell LOVED his chocolate. Even when it came with a mitt full of baseball spirit to the face. Insert craaaacker jacks here. In a double boiler, melt your chocolate. See method below. Pour your melted chocolate into a small parchment paper lined baking dish-- the chocolate layer should be between 1/4 and 1/2 inch thick. While still warm. crush and crumble cracker jacks over the chocolate. Refrigerate (or freeze) until ready to eat and drive everyone around you bonkers, you spoiled brat.
Rockford Peach & Bourbon Smash
Yield:
2 cocktails
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Kit & Dottie Dog
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
All The Way Besties Dog
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Betty Spaghetti Dog
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Southern Belle Dog
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
She Aint "Pretty" But She Sure Can Hit
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
We've Got Canadians! Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Have Another Chocolate Stillwell angel (w/cracker jacks)
Yield:
Enough already
Ingredients
Instructions
This new series… I dunno… will it be good? I have hope. See you in August.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.” Out of the mouths of rats… Ratatouille is, to this day, one of the best foodie films ever made. Even Anthony Bourdain thought so! Once you get past the very …
The Breakfast Club– a perfect back-to-school time movie and perhaps the most famous in the John Hughes coming of age oeuvre. Sure, a case could be made for Ferris Bueller, and I do love me some Uncle Buck, but The Breakfast Club is the movie in which five of the eight core Brat Pack members exemplified a certain set of 1980’s identities– or, alternatively, where they demonstrated that those identities are actually not as inextricably separated as angsty teens might think. After all, we’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.
Set in Hughes’s oft used but fictional Chicago suburb, Shermer Illinois, The Breakfast Club begins with visuals of empty school hallways that have always made for uncomfortable flashbacks. It’s a Saturday, and each of the film’s protagonists arrive one by one for detention– there’s the “brain” Brian (Anthony Michael Hall), the “athlete” Andrew (Emilio Estevez), the “basket case” Allison (Ally Sheedy), the “princess” Claire (Molly Ringwald), and the “criminal” John (Judd Nelson). Stuck in a library and instructed by the tyrant Vice Principal Richard “Dick” Vernon to capture their identities in 1000 words, these five teens inevitably clash, break a bunch of rules, and have “profound” conversations about peer and parental pressure, why life generally sucks, and how when you grow up your heart dies. And then hey presto– turns out they all have some key things in common.
It sounds a little trite now, but at the time The Breakfast Club was one of the first cinematic attempts to portray adolescence in a way that was relatable to actual adolescents, not to mention the adults that couldn’t (or wouldn’t) understand them. And, the performances (particularly Judd Nelson’s) are legit wonderful. Now, I do not condone the homophobic slurs and references to impregnating the prom queen. Despite John Hughes being an insightful writer/director, there are some VERY cringeworthy moments in his collection of teen films (I can’t even watch Sixteen Candles anymore). That said, The Breakfast Club is one of those decade defining films that otherwise holds up.
One of the best scenes in this 1980’s classic is, conveniently for this blog, the lunch scene. Food becomes one of the many indicators of each Brat Pack personality type, and in several instances the audience is meant to cringe as much as the characters on screen. With the following movie menu I’ve attempted what I think are slightly more delicious versions of each lunch, with a common through line that you may or may not recognize– but maybe more importantly, every component of this Breakfast Club school brunch/lunch is relatively portable and ok to be stored at room temperature for a couple of hours.
Because who the hell brings raw fish to an unrefrigerated environment around other people CLAIRE??
Because despite Allison's alleged predilection for vodka, obviously bad boy John deserves a character based brunch cocktail the most. ESPECIALLY one that celebrates a mental and emotional victory over "don't mess with the bull" Dick Vernon. In a perfect world, someone would step in and fuck that bull up. Plus, Bender is the only one who doesn't come with a lunch, and while a boozy beverage might not seem like a great idea for a teenager, at lease this one has nutritional heft? Vegetables! So smoke up Johnny! Being bad DOES feel pretty good... Start by grilling your cherry tomatoes-- spray with a bit of oil, and sear on a hot griddle pan. The tomatoes should just begin to burst when they're ready. Set aside (or store in an air tight container). Mix the next 9 ingredients in a glass or cocktail shaker. Then, using a cocktail smoker (see note) smoke your mix within the container. At this point, you could store for future consumption-- but if you're ready to indulge, pour into an ice filled glass and top with charred tomatoes. So good, you'll be all: If you don't have a cocktail smoker, you can always set some wood chips on a fire proof dish/pan and light them until smoking-- invert your glass over the smoke and allow it to permeate the inside. Flip the glass and immediately pour your cocktail ingredients into the residual smoke. It won't be as strong as with a cocktail smoker, but you'll still get a delightful hint of smoke. But advocating for the purchase, cause cocktail smoker guns are actually pretty cheap! Here it is, a sandwich so big it'll leave you totally totaled. Unless of course you blaze up beforehand and then it's just the right amount of fuel for a manic parkour sesh in a large room. Though Andrew's enormous lunch featured what looked like a plain old turkey on white, I went with a recipe inspired by one of the better sandwiches I've had at Chicago's own Publican Quality Meats. And then added some bacon and firm fried eggs for the brekkie club element. Honestly, chef's kiss. ...But also I still really wanna know what the hell kind of strain Bender's dope was to cause that kind of reaction... Begin with the avocado aioli. Add avocado, yogurt, mayo, garlic powder, lemon juice, olive oil, and a pinch of salt to a small food processor-- blend until fully smooth. Cover tightly and refrigerate until ready to assemble sammies. For your sandwich innards, begin by frying your bacon, laying slices on paper towels to drain when finished. Lightly wipe the pan free of bacon bits, keeping a bit of oil in the pan. Over medium heat, fry eggs about 3-4 mins per side-- you want the insides to be firm, but still slightly jammy. You could of course go for the full egg porn yolky-ness, but it doesn't transport so well... Toast your bread slices lightly and cut in half at a diagonal. To assemble your breakfast clubs, layer as follows: avocado aioli, turkey, peppers, bacon, egg, lettuce, cheese. Then, repeat, creating a double decker sandwich. Cut in half at an angle, and stack. Then, eat. it. all. Gotta get all those nutrients in if you don't wanna BLOW YOUR RIDE SON. But seriously-- raw fish and seaweed at room temp for hours Claire??? I love sushi, don't get me wrong, but I also hate people who are olfactory-ly selfish in a group setting. So, here is an alternative, sushi-esque side of all veggies with a tart and sweet ginger dressing. Nutritious, delicious, and still appropriately snobby. Start with your ginger sesame dressing-- in a small food processor, combine peanut oil, sesame oil, chili oil, vinegar, miso, carrot, ginger and honey. Puree till as smooth as possible (see below). Cut cucumber into four chunks about 3 inches long. Hollow out the seeds to create a hollow center. Next, slice your bell pepper, radish, and avocado into long strips. Using a chopstick to help, line the inside of the cucumber lengthwise with bell pepper, followed by radish and avocado-- fill the rest of the gap in with sushi rice, pressing down for a tight pack. Slice each cucumber segment into 3 pieces, and serve with ginger miso dressing topped with sesame seeds. Poor Brian-- a whizz in the math club, uh, the Latin, and the physi... physics club. Who needs friggin' lamps or a sex life when you can have PB&(cherry)J sans crust? Line a baking pan with parchment paper and place about 6 small dollops (about 1 tsp each) of cherry jelly onto the parchment paper. Place in the freezer for about an hour to allow the jelly firm up. In the meantime, mix cherries, oats, flax seeds, honey, peanut butter, vanilla extract, and salt until combined. Using your hand scoop out some of the dough and flatten into a disk shape. Then, place a dollop of frozen jelly in the center of each disk. Fold up the edges sealing the jam in the center, then roll between your hands to form a ball. Like the other kids, I found Allison's butter, cereal, and pixy stix sandwich to be the most... .... But I was always curious. Curious enough to try it? ...nah. That said, the ingredients had promise, and turns out you can make a bad-ass rice krispy style treat with enough sugar to keep you awake through all eight hours of detention. HA! Get all your cereal treat ingredients together and remember to play all the games on the back of the captain crunch box. Melt the butter and marshmallows, stirring frequently, until almost entirely smooth. Mix in your cereal and stir to combine. Add to a buttered 9x9 baking pan and press into the square shape. Refrigerate for an hour. Meanwhile, mix confectioners sugar, coke, corn syrup, cocoa powder and pixy stick in a small bowl. Whisk until smooth. When cereal treats have set, remove from baking pan and drizzle with coca cola pixy stick icing. Cut into 9 squares and serve-- alternatively, if you store in your hoarder bag with all your other shit, a ziploc is recommended (sticky).
A Smoked Bloody Bull for John
Yield:
1 Cocktail
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Recommended Products
A "Breakfast Club" for Andrew
Yield:
1 Sandwich (for 2)
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
30 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
"Sushi" for Claire
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
30 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
PBJ, No Crusts, for Brian
Yield:
6 Balls
Prep Time:
1 hour
Cook Time:
15 minutes
Additional Time:
1 hour
Total Time:
2 hours 15 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
When ready to serve, sprinkle with minced peanuts! Isn't life swell?
A Sugary Treat for Allison
Yield:
9 Squares
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Additional Time:
2 hours
Total Time:
2 hours 5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
I haven’t even mentioned The Breakfast Club soundtrack yet! And I highly recommend you listen while you cook– it’s one of the best.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
I’d always promised myself that, should ever I start a “dinner and a movie” blog, Fried Green Tomatoes would be the first post. That clearly didn’t happen, and for a variety of reasons, but I think the biggest one is that I love this movie …
His Girl Friday– the film that crushed the 90 word per minute standard for humans with a whopping 240 word per minute average. Per Director Howard Hawks: “we wrote the dialog in a way that made the beginnings and ends of sentences unnecessary; they were …
Yesterday was World UFO Day, tomorrow is the 4th of July, and today it’s the 25th anniversary of Roland Emmerich’s badass alien blockbuster, Independence Day. So I mean, I HAD to take yesterday off to get this menu out there. Just don’t tell my boss.
Despite all the critics of the admittedly hokey/convenient storylines throughout Independence Day, it is still one of my favorite sci-fi disaster films. The plot: the year is 1996, the date is July 2, and out of literally nowhere (technology is kinda iffy in this film, just go with it) massive alien spacecraft are approaching Earth with one mission– to ANNIHILATE THE HUMAN RACE. What follows is a suspenseful and action-packed amalgamation of missions taken independently by a pretty solid ensemble cast of characters– Bill Pullman as President Whitmore, Jeff Goldblum as tech/chess genius David Levinson, Vivica A. Fox as exotic dancer Jasmine Dubrow, and of course Will Smith as fighter pilot Steven Hiller (in the role that launched his career as a box office super star). Of course, the characters all manage to come together by Act 3 of the film, and after the obligatory (and very well written, btw) Presidential speech, they all fight the aliens and are saved by……..
NOT TELLING.
I do want to note that prior to Independence Day, Roland Emmerich tried his hand at a sci-fi blockbuster with Stargate. And don’t get me wrong– I LOVE Stargate. But you can tell he learned some lessons from the making of that film in this next endeavor, especially in the visual effects department. Colossal fireballs, skyscrapers exploding, jet/spaceship chases, not to mention the aliens themselves, were all incredibly well-executed for the time. Add in the relatively good acting (for blockbusters, at least), and it’s really everything you’d want to see in a movie theater– especially at a time when we could all use a little/lot of humorous perspective about widespread end-of-the world type events.
Now if, like me, you’re playing it safe this July 4th but still saying to yourself, “I coulda been at a barbecue!”– here’s a Southwestern-y,very green bbq meal for ya that will hopefully make you feel as energized and ok as the ending of Independence Day. You can legit bbq outside on a grill, or inside on a griddle pan with the same results.
Now let’s KICK THE TIRES AND LIGHT THE FIRES!
The Trojan Horse is a delicious summer-y solution for people who don't like Guinness-- more importantly, however, it's an appropriate drink for a certain duo who trick their way into an enemy ship with a conveniently effective computer virus. Checkmate. Start with the beer, and top with the CocaCola. Then... SYSTEM FAILURE MWAHAHAHAHAHA Yes, I kinda stole the crunch wrap supreme design. But the whole iris-y disk look is very space ship-y! Factor in an explosion of Southwestern flavors and you have a burger fit for Roswell. Plus lots of extra green shit = lots of fun. First, get your green chili "salsa" ready-- a quick and easy topping for your burger that is just the right amount of sweet/spicy. Heat your grill/griddle pan to medium high. Slice your peppers in half lengthwise, and stem/seed them. Toss the chilis and onions in 1 tbsp canola oil and toss onto your griddle. Grill for 5-7 mins, turning occasionally to prevent burning. When caramelized and browned, remove from heat and allow to sit-- you should be able to peel the skins from the chilis once cooled. In a mini-food processor, add peeled peppers, onions, vinegar, honey, olive oil, and 1 tsp cilantro leaves. Pulse until very roughly chopped-- you're looking for a salsa texture. Refrigerate. Now, time for your green shit! See guacamole ingredients below: In a medium bowl, mash avocado, garlic, lime juice, oregano and cilantro thoroughly. Add salt to taste, and ONLY IF YOU WANT TO, add about 1/2 or more tsp of jalepeno. We're dealing with some heavy spice already, so be forewarned-- proceed with caution! Once fully mixed, top guacamole with a bit more lime juice to prevent oxidation (ie, the green stuff turning into a less appropriate and far less appetizing brown color). Refrigerate while you prep your burger patties. In a medium bowl, mix beef, cumin, chili powder, garlic powder and salt with your hands. Divide your mixture into FOUR equal portions, and shape into patties about 1/2 inch thick. Preheat your grill to medium high, and brush with a bit of extra canola oil. Add patties and cook, 3 minutes per side. While patties are grilling, place four tortillas on a flat surface and cut your other tortilla into four pieces. Divide grated cheese into four equal portions and place in the center of each large tortilla. When patties are finished grilling, place one each on top of the cheese. Then, top patties with green chili "salsa". Place smaller tortilla cuts on top of the burgers and, pull the edges of the larger tortillas inward-- you should easily make a spiral effect to close in your burger patty and fillings. Using either a frying pan on your grill, or the reverse flat side of your griddle pan (or a frying pan on the stove if you must), gently place your UFO burgers seam side down for roughly 3 mins over medium heat. Flip, and sear the other side for an additional 3 minutes. Allow to rest for a few minutes, and serve with green shit (ahem guac) on the side. New Mexican green chiles or Anaheim chiles are preferable here, but if you can't find them use roasted jalapeños that have been peeled and chopped. I dunno what it is about aliens and crops but I figured what the hell-- corn is appropriate on multiple levels, especially when you add a hell of an explosion of heat with some bang bang sauce. Didn't I promise you fireworks?? Start by cutting each ear of corn into thirds-- it's just better portion control. Heat a pot of salted water and bring to a boil. Throw in your corn and par-boil for 3-4 minutes. You want the corn to be slightly tender, but not soft or quite ready for eating. Remove from the water and set aside (this can be done overnight, just make sure you refrigerate!). Now, time to mix the sauce ingredients below: This is going to be SPICY, so if you're averse to that you just be sparing with your application to the corn. Speaking of-- heat your griddle pan on medium, and brush corn very lightly with canola oil. Grill, about 5 minutes per side. Once you do the full circuit, baste with sauce and continue to grill, allowing caramelization to do its thing. Once corn is just charred and before you light a kitchen/grill fire, remove your ears from the heat and set on a plate. To serve, drizzle with as much additional sauce as you can handle, sprinkle with chopped cilantro, and get ready for some tastebud fireworks! I didn't have sweet chili sauce, but I DID have a bunch of packets of sambal oelek from various Thai orders-- if you're in the same boat, here is a really cool cheat recipe for sweet chili sauce using those very packets. Guys, I've been sayin' it. I've been sayin' it for ten damn years! It's not Fourth of July without watermelon-- and Russell gave me the excuse I needed to soak it in vodka. Spending the holiday sober? Well, you picked a helluva time to quit drinking... This process is actually super easy. On whatever side of the melon you choose for the bottom, lightly shave off some of the rind to create a flat surface for the fruit to sit on. Next, using the cap of the vodka bottle, trace a circle at the new top of your melon. Cut a hole into the top along your traced circle, and dig out about an inch of fruit. Using a sharp knife or skewer, stab into the fruit several times (but avoid piercing the rind)-- this will help your vodka spread through your fruit effectively. Now, at this point, some people use a funnel. And you certainly can too. But i just put the melon on top of the bottle, pressed down so it was firmly anchored into the fruit, and then flipped the whole thing over. It worked great, and one less dish to wash! Allow your vodka'd melon to sit until as much of the vodka drains as possible-- I stuck mine in the fridge overnight so that it was super infused and chilly in the morning. When ready to serve, remove the bottle and slice melon into triangles. Squeeze your half of a lime over the top, and sprinkle with mint. Or, alternatively walk into a room with the bottle still in the melon shouting to your friends: Hello, boys! I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! You COULD also use tequila, and sprinkle with salt. I was just feeling the cool refreshing-ness of the vodka lime combo... It ain't over till the fat lady sings! I dunno that this dessert cookie needs much more of an intro... Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Using a stand or hand mixer, cream the butter, sugar, and vanilla until you get a smooth paste. Add the egg whites, and as you continue beating, add in flour and cocoa powder-- continue until you get to a smooth batter. Line a baking sheet with a sil pat or parchment paper, and dollop 4 equal spoonfuls of batter onto the sil pat in a row. Spread your dollops into rectangles roughly 6x3 inches. It should be a very thin layer of batter about 1/16 inch thick. Bake for 7 minutes, watching that the edges don't burn. Remove from the oven and IMMEDIATELY roll at the long end around a pasta roller or a 1/2 inch spoon handle-- I used a dough scraper to help me lift the edge it was VERY useful. But note, the cookie dough will harden the longer it sits, so must go faster, must go faster. Place on a plate or rack to cool, seam side down so that the cone shape is maintained. While the cookies cool, make your chocolate dip. In a double boiler setup, add chocolate chips and chipotle powder. Melt, stirring at regular intervals. Add cream, and stir briskly off heat. Immediately dip the ends of your chocolate cigars into your ganache and then your toasted walnut bits. Refrigerate until ready to consume!!!
Trojan Horse
Cook Time:
1 minute
Total Time:
1 minute
Ingredients
Instructions
UFO Burger with Extra Green Sh*t
Yield:
4 Burgers
Prep Time:
30 minutes
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
1 hour
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Bang Bang Firecracker Corn
Yield:
2-3 Servings
Cook Time:
20 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Watermelon for Russell
Yield:
Probably Too Much...
Prep Time:
10 minutes
Additional Time:
12 hours
Total Time:
12 hours 10 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Smoky Chocolate Cigars
Yield:
6 Cigars
Prep Time:
15 minutes
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Additional Time:
1 hour
Total Time:
1 hour 25 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Guys, don’t watch Independence Day: Resurgence. It’s really bad.
But DO feel free to pour over all of the crazy articles/footage that’s been released recently regarding UFO’s in American airspace because seriously the aliens are coming you guys!!! Plus the below has an appropriate 90’s song intro…
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
ON THIS DAY 30 years ago, Thelma & Louise drove across the country in a blue Thunderbird and into the annals of feminist film history. It’s one of those movies I rediscover every 10 years– funny, tragic, and (sadly) still so relevant, Thelma & Louise was written …
