Instructions

Mix up all of your ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake until chilled. Pour over ice of your preferred shape (I prefer round like Hammond's amber cane topper), garnish with a few pineapple spikes, the aforementioned rum filled syringes, and keep your eyes out for impact tremors.

Instructions

Begin with your not yet hatched baby dinosaurs-- bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil, and add eggs. Cook for 10 minutes and drain, running the eggs (shells still on!) under cold water. Once cooled to room temp, roll lightly on a hard surface until small cracks appear, but not enough for bits of the shell to fall off. Add to a ziploc together with your soy sauce and seal, turning to coat. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours and up to overnight.

When ready, gather your other ingredients:

Remove the eggs from the soy sauce marinade and peel away the shells-- the result of the soaking process should be veiny brown lines where the soy sauce "dyed" the egg whites. Using a sharp knife, cut into the top of the egg at a zig zag-- remove the egg tops and and the hardened egg yolks with a small spoon.

Add the yolks to a small blender together with the ingredients 3 through 7, pureeing until smooth (you can add a LITTLE splash of water to help the texture along). Pipe or spoon your dinosaur-y green filling back into your hollowed out egg whites. Top with a drizzle of chili crunch for a firey kick and bone crackly texture and serve on a plate of green stuff. So yummy you'll need two for yourself.

Just don't let them sit for too long OR ELSE.

Instructions

Using a mandolin or a spiralizer (check out my post for Ferris Bueller's Day Off for a product recommendation!), get your sweet potato to look like this:

The appropriate blade size for the mandolin is 3mm, fyi. Toss your potato match sticks with corn starch and allow to sit for a moment while you heat up your oil in a medium skillet. When the oil pops with a drop of water, your ready to fry your potatoes! Shake off excess cornstarch and toss your potatoes into the hot oil in batches, keeping the pieces as separated as possible to prevent sticking. Drain on a paper towel and sprinkle immediately with salt.

Next, pat your fish filet dry and assemble the rest of your ingredients.

In the same skillet (sans old potato oil), heat 1 tbsp of new oil over medium high heat. Add your fish skin down to the pan, cooking for roughly five minutes to allow the skin to crips up. Flip, and cook for another 5 minutes or so until the fish is cooked through. Remove from the pan and set aside in a warm place.

Returning to your skillet, add butter and shallot and reduce heat to low. Caramelized for roughly 7 minutes until the shallots are softened, then add your wine and broth. Simmer for about 10 minutes until the sauce is reduced by half-- mix in minced parsley and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice.

Now, time for assembly-- in small appetizer plates (or one bigger plate if you prefer), spoon a layer of white wine butter sauce. Add a few green bean slivers at a spiky angle, followed by a heft chunk of Chilean sea bass. Top with some fried sweet potatoes for additional crunch and voila! Alessandro would approve. Despite the lack of purely superflous cherry tomatoes.

Instructions

Guys, did I say this steak was good? Because it might be the best cow I've ever eaten. And it's mostly due to the Costa Rican inspired coffee spice rub:

Pulse the coffee and fennel seed in a spice grinder until fine. Mix with the rest of your seasonings and set aside.

Unwrap your steaks and cut away the meat at the angled botton of the bone. This is what makes your steak a mini-tomahawk or cowboy steak-- you're creating a little handle! Continue to trim meat and fat away from the bone until your handle is clean. VERY IMPORTANT: Don't throw away your meat trimmings (SEE NOTE)!

Rub a little more that 3/4 of the spice mix into the meat (SEE NOTE AGAIN), including the sides. Set the steak aside, uncoverd, for another 35-40 minutes, allowing it to come to room temperature and the rub to crust on the outside of the steak.

While your steak is hanging out, assemble your super simple side salad. This photo was taken BEFORE I slivered the kale because, whoops, editorial error.

Whisk your olive oil, honey, cumin, and lime juice until emulsified, seasoning to taste with salt and pepper. Toss with slivered kale and beans, rubbing the dressing into the kale a bit with your fingers to help it soften. Set aside to further marinate at room temperature while you preheat your oven to 450.

When it's time to return to your steak, heat vegetable oil in a large oven proof skillet on high. add steaks to the pan, reducing heat to medium high. Sear, undisturbed, for 5 minutes. Flip the steaks and finish off in the preheated oven, for another 4 minutes (internal temp should be at about 115 for medium rare)-- steaks will have developed a crispy brown spicy crust!

Remove from the pan and tent with aluminum foil, allowing the meat to rest for 10 minutes. Using a sharp knife, slice thickly from the end opposite the bone handle. Seriously, look at that:

Serve with dinosaur kale and gigante bean salad for them extra nutrients and dinosaur vibes.

Instructions

Start by whipping up your cream with a stand or hand mixer in a medium bowl. You should end up with some stiff peaks.

Add your salt and some powdered ginger (as Jurassic Park's own Chef Alejandro would wish it) to your condensed milk. Fold one third of the whipped cream into the condensed milk mixture to lighten it a bit, then fold the lightened milk back into the fresh whipped cream-- very gently with a rubber spatula-- until blended. You don't want to be heavy handed with this, or your ice cream will be a creamy ice cube.

Pour into a pie tin or small metal loaf pan and smooth. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and freeze for about two hours.

After the first round of freezing, your ice cream should be about the consistency of soft serve. At this point you can add the passionfruit and lightly stir until incorporated. Continue to freeze, covered, until solid and scoopable, for at least four hours.

Now for your biscuits! I feel British already...

Using the same stand/hand mixer, beat 5 tbsps of butter and vanilla on high until light and fluffy. Add confectioners sugar and beat on medium speed until mixed.

Scrape the sides of the bowl down, and add flour-- continue to beat on low, scraping as you go, until fulled combined.

On a cutting board, shape the dough into a cylindar a little over 4 inches long. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate until more firm, between 30 minutes and an hour. While you wait, preheat your oven to 350F.

Using a sharp knife, cut the dough into roughly 1/2 inch thick slices (they don't have to be perfectly round, we're going for a natural, stoney look). Using artistic skill (or in my case, very cheap dinosaur toys) cut/press whatever fossil shapes you choose into your cookies. It's all good if some of the impressions aren't perfect here either-- you're going to crumble 3 or 4 of the least attractive cookies into dust. FUN.

Place cookies, spaced at least an inch apart, onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake for about 10 minutes. Transfer to a wire sheet to cool, and pick out your least desirable ones-- these you're going to CRUSH. In a small skillet, melt remaining 2 tbsp of butter and add the brown sugar, strring until melted. Add your cookie dust and stir until fully coated in butter. Continue to stir until cookie dust is golden brown and toasty-- set aside to cool.

When ready to stir, spoon ice cream into cups and stick a fossil cookie in. Spoon a hefty portion of cookie crumble over the fossil cookie and hey presto-- an interactive Jurassic Park themed treat that even cranky Dr. Grant might even appreciate. Probably not, but at least Dr. Sattler would think mmm... that's good.