Recipes for foodies and film nerds. Because life's too short for stale popcorn and crappy movies.
Starring the incomparable Rosalind Russell (ie the star of His Girl Friday and many other fast talking classics), Auntie Mame is a long time personal favorite. Initially set during the Prohibition era, the film follows bohemian socialite Mame Dennis, who is granted custody of her …
It’s almost Christmas as I write this, so Love Actually is, actually, all around. Thankfully, it’s a delightful movie full of relatable characters (except Kyra Knightly, who always sucks) and poignant moments that still make me ugly happy cry 20 yrs later. I have to …
I could spend days talking about Everything Everywhere All At Once. I can’t remember the last time I saw a film this original, while still being relatable and intensely relevant. A24, you did so good.
Everything Everywhere follows Evelyn Wang (Michelle Yeoh, brilliant), a disgruntled and exhausted owner of a laundromat who is being audited by a surly IRS agent (Jamie Lee Curtis, hilarious). Her loving husband Waymond (Ke Huy Quan, inspiring) is a cheery annoyance, and her difficult daughter Joy (Stephanie Hsu, badass) is desperate for acceptance that will never come from Evelyn as she is now. But here’s the kicker– there are a million other Evelyns in an infinity of universes whose experiences the OG Evelyn can tap into. That’s where the sci-fi fantasy stuff comes in.
In the middle of an IRS meeting, Evelyn is snatched from her own universe by Alpha-Waymond– a much more capable version of Evelyn’s husband who knows how to obliterate an army of security guards with kung fu moves and a fanny pack. Alpha-Waymond tells Evelyn about multiverse super villain Jobu Tupaki, who is building a mysterious “something” capable of destroying everything, everywhere– and, as it turns out, this OG Evelyn is the only person who can stop her.
What ensues is an absurd, trippy, hysterical journey full of “‘verse jumping”, epic martial arts choreography, and google eyes. Visual metaphors abound, and (without spoiling the ending) viewers are left with this profound message: even when you feel like nothing makes sense, that you’re being sucked into a whirling black hole of nihilism and apathy, IT’S GONNA BE OK. The most important thing is to be kind, especially when we don’t know what the heck is going on. Because nothing and everything matters. All at once.
I can’t explain it better than that.
Luckily, the Daniels included delicious looking foodstuffs in Everything Everywhere, so creating a brunch-y menu featuring quasi-traditional Asian dishes was easy. Just no hot dog finger recipes, you sicko cannibals. Ha ha ha ha.
NO MORE GOOGLE EYES. Except they're so good. Especially with whiskey. Drink enough and it won't matter that your clothes never wear as well the next day and your hair never falls in quite the same way. Life's a silly mess anyway. Start by making simple syrup-- in a small saucepan, heat water and sugar and simmer until sugar is dissolved. Remove from heat and allow to cool. In a larger sauce pan, bring roughly 8 cups of water to boil. Add the tapioca pearls and cook for 5ish minutes, or till your pearls reach your desired softness (I like mine a little more firm). Drain the pearls and transfer them to a bowl of ice water to chill. Gather your reamining ingredients. Once chilled, drain the pearls once again. Pour half of the simple syrup over the pearls, cover, and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes or until almost ready to serve.. To assemble your drinks-- wet the rim of three lowball glasses and dip into black sugar/glitter/charcoal. Divide tapioca pearls into your glasses and top with a scoop of ice (enough to get your glasses to half full. badum bump). Add tea, then whiskey, followed by 2 tablespoons of milk and 1 1/2 tablespoons of simple syrup into each glass. Flavor with more syrup and dairy, to your taste. Longevity noodles are a traditional, very popular dish eaten during Chinese New Year. AND eggs are considered especially lucky-- so eat it ALL. It's especially yummy for breakfast, as Gong Gong prefers. In a small saucepan, bring water to a boil. Add your egg and boil for roughly 7 minutes (don't go too much longer or you won't get that yolky jammy texture everyone loves so much). Once time is up, remove egg from the water and allow to cool. Peel, and add to a ziploc together with your soy sauce. Seal and refrigerate for at least an hour, and up to 24 hours. In a small bowl, whisk together sugar, salt, both soy sauces, oyster sauce, sesame oil, and white pepper-- make sure all of your sugar is dissolved. Gather the rest of your ingredients. In a large pot, bring about 8 cups of water to boil. Cook your noodles according to package instructions-- somewhere between 7-8 mins. Check to make sure they are al dente, no one likes overcooked noodles. And remember, these babies are LONG. Feel free to sample, just be aware you may be eating one of your own children in another universe. Drain and briefly set aside. Add 2 tbsp of veggie oil to a wok or non-stick skillet over high heat. Toss in white parts of the scallions and saute for about 30 seconds. Add the noodles and stir fry for another 30 seconds, tossing to coat in oil. Pour in your sauce mix and stir fry for another minute or so, continuing to toss. If you need to, add the remainder of your veggie oil to prevent your noodles from sticking to the pan. Just try not to break them up-- you want to keep your noodles long for longevity and prosperity! Add the green parts of the scallions as well as your chopped chives to the pan. Mix until they turn bright green, just another minute or so. Serve immediately, with your soy sauce marinated egg cut in half for extra good luck and longevity. You can find legit longevity noods at any Asian market, but in a pinch lo mein or even thin spaghetti noods will work. You just won't have any good luck ya lazy bum. Similarly, dark soy sauce can be found at most Asian grocers-- and trust me, it's worth it. "I got bored one day, and then I put everything in a bagel... everything. All my hopes and dreams, my old report cards, every breed of dog, every personal ad on Craigslist, sesame, poppy seed, salt, and it collapsed in on itself. 'Cause you see, when you really put everything on a bagel, it becomes this... the truth. Nothing... matters." Unless you serve it with scallion cream cheese. Scallion cream cheese changes everything. Dissolve your sugar into 2/3 cup warm water, then add yeast-- you'll need to wait about two minutes for the yeast to "bloom", ie get all foamy. Add flours, salt, and cocoa powder to a separate mixing bowl while you wait-- the cocoa powder is what will guarantee a rich, dark pumpernickel color. Mix dry ingredients until they are fully incorporated, and pour in your bloomy yeasty sugar water. Mix until you get a rough dough ball, adding a couple more tbsp of water as needed to get all of the flour into the dough ball. Let sit for 10 minutes-- then, on a floured cutting board, knead the dough for a minute or two until smooth. Lightly brush a large mixing bowl with oil, add the dough, and turn to coat. Cover with a damp towel and let rise in a warm place for an hour and a half-- the dough should double in size. You'll know that it's ready when you press the dough with your finger and it doesn't bounce back: Punch the dough down and, on an unfloured board this time, roll it into a ball. Coat a finger with flour and create a hole in the center, stretching it out roughly 2 inches in diameter. Cover with the same damp towel and let rise for about 20 minutes while you bring a big pot of water to boil and preheat your oven to 425. When your water is boiling, carefully lower your bagel in-- boil for 2 minutes, flip, and boil for another two minutes. Remove the bagel from the hot water and immediate coat with everything bagel seasoning. Bake for 25 minutes and allow to rest for at least 15 before cutting. While you wait, mix sliced scallions into your cream cheese and when ready... MMMMMM DAIRY. In some universes cows don't even exist anymore, so relish it. Just don't look too long or too closely-- you might get suuucked. Intooooo. the Baaaaagel... Did you know: soldiers in China were making their own version of bagels 400 years ago, completely independently of what was going on with hole-y breads in Europe. STOP MAKING UP WORDS! Except the Daniels actually did make a Raccacoonie-- and it is possibly one of the more bizarre and hilarious homages in Everything Everywhere. So, here is what I think Raccacoonie would have done with traditional ratatouille ingredients. Teppanyaki style. Place chef hat over the raccoon controlling your every movement and collect your "ratatouille" veggies. Mix up the remaining ingredients for the marinade (oil and sesame seeds occluded). Marinade veggies for 30 minutes in a sealed ziploc. Heat oil on a large flat griddle pan (or a large non-stick if that's all ya got). Add the veggies and cook, tossing every once in a while to ensure all sides are equally browned. You should be done in about 5 minutes, barring any glitches with the hair/hand connection. Raccacoonie, I don't know what I'd do without you... A traditional Chinese cookie recipe for when you fuck up your income taxes real bad and you need an IRS agent to forget the butt plugs. It's strategic and necessary. Add almond flour, salt and butter to one bowl-- sift all purpose flour, sugar, and baking soda into another. Beat the almond flour mix on medium until just incorporated, then add half of your whisked egg and almond extract. Add all-purpose mix next, continuing on medium speed until you have a doughy consistency. Scoop 12 dough balls onto a piece of parchment paper using an ice cream scoop. Chill for at least an hour, covered. Using your fingers, press dough into rounds roughly 2.5 inches in diameter (they should be at least 1 inch apart, they will spread as they bake!). Press two almonds into the top of each round to make eyes, and then use a small glass or measuring cup to impress a smile into each cookie. Brush with remaining whisked egg. Bake at 325 for 10 minutes. Check at this point and, if you need to, re-impress your smiles into the dough. Continue to bake for another five minutes until cookies turn a pale gold, and remove from oven. Allow to cool on a baking sheet. Whisk your sugar, water and food coloring and use this red mix to paint in your smilies. Remember, red is also good luck! Just lookit how happy these little dudes are, and I think they would be even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers.
Google Eyes Boba Tea
Yield:
3 Cocktails, 1 for each Wang
Cook Time:
20 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Extra Lucky Longevity Noodles
Prep Time:
1 hour
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
1 hour 30 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Black Hole Bagel
Prep Time:
2 hours
Cook Time:
25 minutes
Total Time:
2 hours 25 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Raccacoonie Ratatouille
Prep Time:
30 minutes
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
35 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Be Kind Almond Cookies
Yield:
12 Cookies
Prep Time:
1 hour 30 minutes
Cook Time:
15 minutes
Total Time:
1 hour 45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
A few scattered takeaways after watching Everything Everywhere All At Once:
4. Just be a rock.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
While the initial intention was to time this Jurassic Park menu to the release of the sixth (and dear god we hope) final movie in the Jurassic Park/World franchise, I’ve also realized that I’m slowly making my way through the Steven Spielberg “top five”. If …
It all began on New Year’s Day… or in the case of this post, New Year’s Eve. All hail Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger), wanton sex goddess, who was able to land two, count ’em TWO, of the hottest British actors to ever grace the silver …
It’s like. Duh. One of the best 90’s movies EVER. It’s also way smarter than you might think. Starring Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow, Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion is a comedic alternative to Thelma & Louise and a wonderfully lighthearted balm for anyone (and that’s basically everyone) suffering from traumatic high school memories.
The plot: former “chubbo” Romy and former “back brace girl” Michele are best friends from Tucson nearing the big 3-0 and living mediocre lives in Los Angeles. When they find out from cranky classmate Heather Mooney (Janeane Garofalo I love you) that their high school reunion is less than two weeks away, they have to scramble to make themselves “impressive”. What follows is a hilarious collage of work outs, junk food binges, tacky clothes, flash backs and dream sequences– all leading up to some amazingly goofy dance choreography on THE REUNION NIGHT. And, inevitably, a discovery that a) for everyone who thinks they were the least popular in high school, there are five more people claiming the superlative, and b) self worth is self defined. IT’S LIKE, REALLY DEEP OK?
Also, I love that both Sorvino and Kudrow play dense airheads but are actually Ivy League graduates IRL. They used to call each other “Smart” and “Smarter” on the Romy and Michele set and Lisa Kudrow fucking improv’d the formula for Post-Its glue. I heart smart ladies in this industry!!! AND they’re like, totally cute.
So here is a menu for those nights when you’re hanging with the Romy to your Michele or the Mary to your Rhoda, and you just want to watch a silly feel good movie and eat/talk bullshit. We’ll call it a junk food charcuterie– which, for extra fun, is complemented by the below drinking game.
DRINK:
– Every time Romy and Michele realize they have something in common.
– Every time Romy or Michele use the word cute or some derivation therof (cuter, cutest)
– Every time Heather Mooney says “Fuck”
– Every time someone is in a clothing store (Julia Roberts counts)
– Whenever Romy and Michele flash back or forward
– Every time a member of the A-Group is a nasty bitch to Romy and/or Michele
– TAKE A SHOT When Romy and Michele DANCE DANCE DANCE (It’s only three times you can take it)
Pro-tip– if you feel yourself starting to get a little too close to the barf zone, test yourself with the following word problem. There’s a guy in a rowboat going X miles, and the current is going like, you know, some other miles, so how long does it take him to get to town?
But it’s like, ‘Who cares? Who wants to go to town with a guy who drives a rowboat?
Any girl looking to have a good time at the clerb needs at least one or five of these-- just be forewarned that the more you drink, the less likely you are to execute intricate dance choreography with one or more partners. I also can't vouch for the nutritional value, but if Romy says it works for her, what the hell! Divide three cups of vodka equally into three glasses. Toss a handful of each kind of candy into separate glasses, cover, and refrigerate for at least three hours. The end result: As you're waiting for your candy to marinate, prep your flavored sugars. On three plates, dump a couple of tbsps of sugar and toss with orange zest on one plate, lime zest on the other, lemon on the last. When you're almost ready to DRINK UP GIRLFRIENDS, moisten the lip of nine shot glasses-- three with an orange wedge, three with a lime and three with a lemon. Dip into corresponding sugars and allow rims to dry for a couple of minutes. Add orange juice, lime juice, and lemon juice into corresponding shot glasses, and then add your candy corn flavored vodka to your orange shot, your gummy bear vodka into your lime shot, and your jelly bean vodka into your lemon one. Serve chilled, and in accordance with the previously detailed drinking game. I'm only one person, so here are three shots instead of nine for just me. And no, I can't solve the gd word problem. A supplement/alternative to our gummy bear, candy corn, and jelly bean shots-- this easy cocktail is apparently a common Romy and Michele order that will keep you peppy all night long. Pour all ingredients over ice and sip, again in accordance with the aforementioned drinking game. These diner style sliders are for all the business women everywhere looking for a meal to go while en route to important business places for important business things. They're portable, covered in cheese, and if any bitches try to take them off my lunch plate god help them. Prep your burger innards! Toss oil on a griddle pan and heat on medium. Add sliced onions and toss until just barely softened-- push aside. Add meat balls to the spot on the griddle pan previously occupied by your onions. Press flat with a spatula until you get about 1/4 inch thick patties-- cook for one minute. Top your patties with equal portions of onions and flip your patties so that the onions come into direct contact with the griddle. And here I steal a technique from Serious Eats: place the bottom half of the buns over your onion covered patties, and then place your hamburger tops on top of your bottom buns. Cover the griddle with a towel, making sure the cloth doesn't hit open flame, and cook for another 2 minutes. Steaming the buns under a towel with the meat ensures they pick up on all the meaty onion-y essenceeee. Remove the towel and the buns and top your patties with a slice of cheese, each (quartered if you need to fit the small size of the patties). Add the top bun back to the top of each patty, and cover yet again with a towel-- cook for 1 more minute. Remove patties and top buns from the griddle pan and place on your top bottoms. At this point if you have extra caramelized onions, feel free to throw those on your burgers too! Serve immediately, with all the condiments and junk food. I LOVE it when it's hamburger day! A Cool Ranch variation on a fast food style fry that takes me straight back to the 90's-- make sure you get all that yummy Dorito-esque dust. Start with your COOL RANCH seasoning: mix first 7 ingredients in a mini blender and pulse into a fine grind. Set aside. Next, peel and cut your potatoes into 1/4 inch thick strips-- submerge in cold water as you prep to avoid potatoes turning brown. Add vinegar, salt, 2 qts of water and potatoes to a large stock pot and bring to a boil-- cook for 10 minutes until tender, but not completely falling apart. Remove from heat with a strainer and allow to come to room temperature. While you wait, heat oil in the same pot and heat to roughly 380 degrees (I use a candy thermometer to make sure I've got the right temp). When you're ready to fry separate your potatoes into four batches and fry each for 1 minute. Temperature will fluctuate as you add and remove batches, so play with your gauge and wait between batches to make sure you stay at around 380. Drain each batch on paper towels, and allow to come to room temperature. After about 30 minutes, bring your oil back up to frying temp, and fry your batches again-- about 3 minutes per batch. You're looking for a golden brown color. Remove each batch from the hot oil with a mesh strainer and drain on paper towels, tossing immediately with cool ranch seasoning. Serve warm, alongside sliders, two cokes, and the formula to post its glue. I had to have a recipe for Heather Mooney, my favorite Romy and Michele character and the unofficial third to their group. The inventor of Lady Fair Cigarette's quick burning paper deserves to be happy with a smoky jerky that is VERY hot. Like Justin Theroux-level hot. Don't agree? Why don't you go fuck a sheep, or your sister, or yourself! First, cut your top round steak into 1 inch thick long slices. Add the meat strips to the bag and seal-- refrigerate overnight to allow the flavors get all up in that meat. The next day, heat the oven to 170/175. Line a baking sheet with foil and a rack, and arrange the meat strips side by side. Slow-roast for four hours, and then turn-- continue to roast for another hour. Remove from the oven, and serve (either in smoky wrapped paper) or make ahead and store for up to a week in an airtight container. IMO, far superior to any junk food that might be inspired by Sandy Frinkazoid. He's nice, but he's no Cowboy. A consolidation of all your favorite chocolaty doughy treats for when you're feeling REALLY shitty and don't have a cool job or a cute boyfriend and despite working out for days while wearing 16lb pumps you still GAINED A LB. Or really just for any occasion. First, make sure your flour won't KILL YOU DEAD (apparently raw flour is a bad thing). In a microwave save dish, heat flour for 1 minute, stirring midway through. Heat until you get to 180 degrees, and you should be good to go. Now, time to assemble the rest of your cookie dough base: With a hand mixer or stand mixer, beat the brown sugar, salt, granulated sugar, butter, yogurt and vanilla extract until fluffy-- about a minute. Sift in your flour, and mix on low speed until you get to a chunky consistency: Fold in your cand bar pieces and try not to eat as you go... Roll into a sausage shape within plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least an hour. When ready to eat, slice bite or gouge your way through till it's aalllllll gone. Ok but like do NOT try to bake this cookie dough. Without eggs and baking soda you'll end up with hot mess.
A Special Diet of Gummy Bears, Jelly Beans, and Candy Corns. And Vodka.
Yield:
9 shots
Prep Time:
3 hours
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
3 hours 5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Diet Coke with Extra Cherries
Yield:
1 cocktail
Cook Time:
2 minutes
Total Time:
2 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Business Women's Special PT 1
Yield:
4 Sliders
Prep Time:
10 minutes
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
15 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Business Women's Special Pt 2
Yield:
2 Servings
Prep Time:
45 minutes
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
50 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Smoky Jerk-y (aka Heather's type)
Prep Time:
12 hours
Cook Time:
5 hours
Total Time:
17 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Next, mix the remaining ingredients in a large bag and swash around until the sugar and salt dissolve fully. Now, some people might say the liquid smoke is cheating, and that you should use a smoker. What do I say? It adds twice the taste in half the time for the gal on the go. Don't like it? Fuck off!
Candy Bar Cookie Dough
Yield:
A LOT
Cook Time:
15 minutes
Total Time:
15 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Fun fact: Grosse Pointe Blank also came out in April of ’97. If you’re looking for another reunion themed movie to watch, I highly recommend.
But also maybe wait till I do a movie menu for it :).
Have a “Romy and Michele” day!
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
This past weekend was the 40th anniversary of the beginning of the Indiana Jones trilogy, Raiders of the Lost Ark! (We do not acknowledge any subsequent Indy productions on this blog– they are blasphemous and shameful.) I have too many thoughts on this, one of …
If you are reading this at the beginning of April– here is a not-so-traditional movie menu for Easter! At first you may not think Monty Python and the Holy Grail fits the spring holiday vibe, but think again. You’ve got religion (God be praised!), gatherings …
I read somewhere that Michael Keaton ad libbed 90% of his lines as Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice. That’s insane to me, because I consider it to be one of his best performances (it’s also his favorite role). And, the movie itself is still one of the funniest dark comedies I’ve seen. Morbid and scary, yes– but disgustingly hilarious.
For those of you unfamiliar with Beetlejuice, a) I lament your youth, and b) know that this is one of director Tim Burton’s first big films before he became a franchise unto himself. The plot follows a young husband and wife trying to acclimate to their status as (SPOILER) “recently deceased”, while an obnoxious New York couple and melancholy daughter move into their bucolic home. Enter Betelgeuse– a demented, perverted, and delightfully mischievous ghost who promises to help evict the New Yorkers but is secretly hellbent on “exorcizing the living” en masse. Ghoulish shenanigans ensue.
Fans of Burton will notice that his trademark aesthetic is in full force in Beetlejuice– and what better way to heighten the absurdity of ghosts and the afterlife than by using a cartoony color palette, abstract art, and schlocky stop-motion sandworms from Saturn? Visual parallels to Burton’s other movies (Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Nightmare Before Christmas) abound, and rewatching it now I feel like I’m discovering strategically placed Easter eggs.
And just a quick love letter to some of the cast. Obviously there’s Keaton in the title role, but there’s Catherine O’Hara (flaky Delia Deetz is like a young Moira Rose amiright?), studly Alec Baldwin, sickly sweet Geena Davis, and lastly 16-yr old Winona Ryder– a late 80’s/90’s film and fashion darling who became my teenage hero. Clearly I, too, considered myself strange and unusual (though I didn’t do goth nearly as well as Lydia Deetz).
So, here is a finger food menu for Beetlejuice that may or may not gross you out while you eat it. But hey, appropriate right? Now let’s all turn on some Harry Belafonte and say it together– Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE.
This "little death" margarita-adjacent cocktail features what some might consider a slightly off-putting key ingredient (though it's delicious, I promise!)-- perfect for the Ghost with the Most. Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose! Using your lime wedge, moisten the rim of your glass. Scatter kosher salt on a plate, and place the glass in the salt, turning gently to collect as much as possible. Then, add remaining ingredients to glass and add ice! Guys, the Moradita cocktail was invented at Gotham Bar in NYC. Burton/Batman, the connections are too good! The Deetzes love their Chinese takeout. Sorry though, Delia-- I'm serving up Cantonese instead of Sichuan in a dish that pays (morbid?) homage to Charles's bird watching hobby. Wing anyone? Assemble your marinade ingredients in a bowl and mix thouroughly until brown sugar dissolved. Pour into a ziploc bag and add your chicken wings-- seal tightly and refrigerate for an hour. Preheat your oven to 425. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and spritz with canola oil-- be careful to lift the edges of foil to create a "rim", otherwise, your sauce will spread and bake into the baking sheet and it'll be a whole 'nother level of mess. Remove wings from the marinade, reserving the rest of the sauce for basting. Bake for roughly 35-40 minutes, turning twice ten minutes in and then twenty minutes in. Your wing exterior should be crisp and bubbly by this time, but if you like a bit of extra char, you can broil them for another minute (just keep an eye or they will burn!). Finish with a sprinkling of sliced scallions and devour. If you are not good with spice, feel free to half the amount of chili oil. These wings can be served at room temperature-- just wrap them in aluminum foil and keep them warm until ready to eat. Let's start with your Calypso sauce! Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. Cut your bell pepper into 1-inch chunks-- you should end up with about a cup and a half of bell pepper. Then, cut your habanero pepper in half. PRO TIP: wear gloves and/or use a sharp knife to remove the white pith and seeds. Otherwise your fingers will be on fire for a number of hours and you'll go through an inordinate amount of baking soda and milk to repair the damage. Toss your bell pepper and habanero with a bit of canola oil and salt and pepper on a foil lined tray. Roast until slightly charred and softened, about 20 minutes. Next, assemble the remaining sauce ingredients: cumin, ginger, scallion, garlic, lime, cilantro, oil, soy sauce, and honey. In a small immersion blender, mix all ingredients together into a rough puree-- add a splash of water to help loosen the ingredients. You should end up with a spicy (depending on your habanero selection) red pepper salsa that'll make you sing DAAAAAAAAY-O. Divide your Calypso sauce into two small-ish bowls and store, covered, at room temperature until ready to serve (but no longer than a couple of hours). Now it's time to assemble your marinade. Mix all remaining ingredients excluding the shrimp-- set aside until 10 minutes prior to cooking shrimp. In the meantime, pat your shrimp dry. If you are super investing in preventing shrimp curl whilst these little dudes cook, utilize this technique. Marinate for about 10 minutes, but no longer or the acids in the sauce will begin to cook the shrimp. Heat a griddle pan to medium high. Remove shrimp from the marinade and place them immediately on the pan, cooking for about 1 minute per side. Remove from heat, and set gently into bowls containing your Calypso sauce, tails outward. Consume rapidly before they ATTACK. Ok it's a little Halloween-y but you know that scene where Beetlejuice pulls a bloated, severed finger out of his pocket right after you see two corpses slowly crumbling to dust? I dunno, something about it made me crave gooey pale green stuffed phyllo fingers. What? Preheat your oven to 400, and assemble your ingredients! In a sautee pan, lightly caramelize onions and garlic in a spritz of olive oil over medium heat for about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. In a small mixing bowl, combine onions, garlic, spinach, artichoke hearts, and dairy until fully incorporated. Unfurl your phyllo dough and separate five sheets from the pack, keeping them together. Cut these sheet batches in half, creating roughly 6x6 inch squares. Llightly brush in between each layer to help the sheet squares stick together. Using a spoon, dish out 1/4 cup of the spinach/artichoke mixture onto the phyllo (see below for placement). Wrap the spinach artichoke mixture inside the phyllo like a burrito-- fold the tops and bottoms in toward the center, and then roll horizontally into a tight cigar/finger shape. Spray with additional oil to prevent each "finger" from drying out while you repeat with the remaining ingredients. Bake on a parchment lined baking sheet for roughly 25-30 minutes until phyllo crust is golden brown. Allow to cool for five minutes before handling. Carefully tie your scallion slivers close to the bottom of each "finger", being careful not to tie tightly or the phyllo will crumble more than the Maitlands-- the scallions aren't imperative, but they do help the fingers hold their shape and add a little "bling", so to speak. From black and white flannel, to black and white striped outfits, to black and white striped snakes/worms-- the contrasting color scheme is quintessentially Tim Burton and all over this movie. So here is a black and white cookie that the Deetzes might have loved (being from NYC), but for the fact that the base cookie itself is inspired by Beetlejuice's favorite Zagnut candy bar. Peanut butter, coconut, and chocolate, oh my! Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (recognize a pattern here? You can make allll this food at the same temp YAY CONVENIENCE!). Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat (sil pad). Add your flour, baking soda and salt, stirring with a fork to combine until a dough forms. Using a spoon, drop 1 1/2 inch balls onto a cookie sheet and press into 1/2 inch thick cookie shapes (these cookies don't spread when they bake). You should end up with half a dozen cookies, about 3 inches in diameter. Bake for 10 minutes or until the cookies turn barely golden brown at the edges and feel lightly dry. They will be very soft. Let cool on the baking sheet for a few minutes, and then transfer the cookies to a wire rack to finish cooling. Meanwhile, make your icing-- combine confectioners sugar, 2 tbsp milk, corn syrup, vanilla, and salt and whisk until smooth. Your icing should still be opaque, but should not be as thick as toothpaste. If need be, add or subtract powdered sugar and/or milk to get the right consistency (be aware humidity can have a big impact). Pour half of your icing into another bowl, and add your cocoa powder and another splash of milk. Stir full to create your dark chocolate icing. Using the back of a spoon. spread half of each cookie with white icing. Place on a parchment paper line plate and refrigerate for about an hour until set. Repeat on the other half of your cookie with dark icing, allowing for another hour to set. Served chilled, and beware of sandworms!
Beet-lejuice Moradita
Yield:
1 cocktail
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Cantonese Chili Wings
Yield:
2 Servings (app 6 wings)
Cook Time:
40 minutes
Total Time:
40 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Calypso Shrimp Attack
Yield:
2 servings (5 Shrimps per Serving)
Prep Time:
15 minutes
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Spinach Artichoke "Fingers"
Yield:
2 Servings (6 fingers)
Prep Time:
20 minutes
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
50 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Black & White Zagnut Cookies
Yield:
6 Cookies
Prep Time:
20 minutes
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Additional Time:
2 hours
Total Time:
2 hours 30 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Next, add peanut butter, coconut oil, egg, vanilla, and sugar to a medium mixing bowl. Using a hand beater (or a stand mixer if you're feeling ambitious), combine until smooth.
Will the long awaited Beetlejuice 2 ever happen? Only time will tell, and we may be all serving as civil servants in the afterlife by then (especially given how 2020 has been going/went).
In the meantime tho, for the true fans, come relive childhood with me and watch the opening for the late 80s Beetlejuice animated series:
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
I loved and feared The Witches as a child. It’s always been that moment early in the film, when “Ereeka’s” father sees the painting. CHILLING. But this is why I love late 80’s and early 90’s movies for children– they were often dark and absurdly …