Tag: cream

Big

Big

Happy bday to Tom Hanks! Naturally I had to celebrate with some kid friendly party food and a screening of 1988’s Big– a very absurd, but well-deservedly loved 80’s fave directed by the great Penny Marshall.  If you haven’t seen it (she types scornfully), a 

Uncle Buck

Uncle Buck

Uncle Buck was a childhood fave of mine. Is it the best movie in the world? Maybe not. But it’s god damn funny, and it’s got a lot of food in it that I’ve always wanted to make. Namely, really enormous pancakes.  The plot itself 

Moonstruck

Moonstruck

Turns out Moonstruck is 35 years young this month, and it also happens to be a holiday film. So happy Christmas Eve– time to celebrate with a bunch of classic Italian dishes and a lotta booze!

When Moonstruck was released in 1987, Cher had already proven herself an amazingly talented actress in several films (one of them, a personal favorite, released in the same year: Witches of Eastwick). Add in Nicolas Cage, who Cher insisted should be cast despite studio hesitation, not to mention a slew of amazing character actors (including the always sassy Olympia Dukakis), and you have an A+++ romantic comedy.

Set in Brooklyn, Cher plays Loretta Castorini, a jaded widow determined to counteract past years of bad luck by accepting the hand of big baby Johnny Cammareri (Danny Aiello). Her newly acquired fiancé, however, must return to Sicily to attend the bedside of his “dying” mother, and tasks Loretta with resolving the bad blood between himself and his one-handed brother Ronny (Nick Cage). What follows is a blunt, metaphor heavy, operatic affair between Loretta and Johnny that is complemented by various relationship ups and downs in the Castorini family. Viewers will learn why men chase women (they fear death), why it’s never a good idea to fall in love with a man (they drive you crazy, because they can), and to for god’s sake be careful around a bread slicer.

Appropriately, all of this wisdom is sandwiched between and shared during food scenes– at restaurants, in living rooms, and around the family dinner table. Which means, thankfully, I didn’t have to think much to construct this movie menu. And what a menu it is! I love it awful.

So eat, drink, and be merry. And don’t feed any of my food to the dog or I’ll kick ya till you’re dead. Alla famiglia!

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

moonstruck drinks

Celebratory Bubbles, Italian Red, and a Martini for Rose

Yield: 3 Drinks
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes

Start with your prosecco and pizza, move on to your bloody steak and a big fat Italian red wine, and finally Bobo, let me have a martini, no ice, two olives with the minestrone!

And then maybe end with a little more prosecco. Because at Christmas time, you need a lotta booze.

Ingredients

Celebratory Bubbles

  • 1 Glass Dry Prosecco
  • 1 Sugar Cube
  • 5 Dashes of Bitters
  • Splash Lemon Juice

Rose's Order

  • Ice
  • 2 1/2 shots Good Quality Vodka
  • 1/2 shot Dry Vermouth, plus a bit more to coat the glass
  • 2 Queen Olives, with Pimiento

Red Wine Vibes

  • Your favorite full bodied Italian red-- highly recommend a Barbera or Barolo

Instructions

For the bubbles-- drop a sugar cube into a bubbles flute and add 5 dashes of bitters and lemon juice. Top with prosecco and enjoy! Ti amo.

For Rose's Martini-- 1 hr before serving, place martini glass in the freezer. When ready to serve, add a splash of vermouth to the glass and swirl it around before discarding. Next, fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add vodka + 1/2 shot of vermouth. Shake until well chilled and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with two olives.

For your red wine vibes-- get you some smoooooth jazz and sip slowly whilst pampering yourself before a big night at the opera.

When The Moon Hits Your Eye Pizza Pie

When The Moon Hits Your Eye Pizza Pie

Prep Time: 4 hours
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 4 hours 15 minutes

I could've made a pizza tradizionale, but that didn't feel very moon-like. So here is a white pizza with some funky gorgonzola/fontina/mozzarella, a smooth and creamy rosemary white sauce, and a light drizzle of honey all atop a NY style crust for cosmopolitan Cosmo. The rest is in the song.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup 00 Pizza Flour (but Bread flour works too)
  • 1/2 cup All Purpose Flour
  • 1/2 tsp Kosher Salt
  • Just under 1/2 cup Lukewarm Water
  • 1/8 tsp Sugar
  • 1/2 tsp Olive Oil
  • 1/4 tsp Active Dry Yeast
  • 1/2 cup Heavy Whipping Cream
  • 1/2 tsp Fresh Rosemary, minced
  • 1/2 Garlic Clove
  • 1/3 cup Low Moisture Mozzarella, grated
  • 1/3 cup Fontina, grated
  • 1/2 cup Gorgonzola, crumbled
  • Honey, for drizzling (roughly 1 1/2 tbsp)

Instructions

Start with your dough! Slightly less yeast than I would typically use, but you're looking for a thin crust. In a large mixing bowl, combine flours and salt. In a small mixing cup, stir together lukewarm tap water and sugar until the sugar dissolves, then add the yeast and the olive oil-- wait a couple of minutes for the yeast to bloom then add to your flour.

pizza dough

Knead with your hands until the dough is just coming together (it's ok if it looks slightly shaggy). If you need to add another tsp of water to the mix to collect all that flour, that’s fine. Let the mixture rest for 15 minutes. Dump dough onto a floured and knead for a minute or so until smooth and elastic and shapes easily into a ball of dough.

dough ball

Place on a heavily floured surface or in a bowl, cover, and let rest and rise for 3 to 4 hours at room temperature or for 8 to 24 hours in the refrigerator (if you refrigerate the dough, remove it 30 to 45 minutes before you begin to shape it for pizza).

When your dough has risen, preheat your oven to its highest temp (mine goes up to 500), and slide in a cookie sheet upside down-- you want the surface to be piping hot when you put your pizza on it.

Using an immersion blender, beat your cream, rosemary and garlic until the cream thickens-- this will be your white sauce!

On a piece of parchment paper, spread your dough into a circle about 10 inches in diameter. Spread your white sauce over your dough, and top with your three cheeses (gorgonzola last).

pizza pre bake

Open your oven quickly to slide your pizza onto your preheated cookie sheet. Bake for about 15 minutes until the cheese is bubbly and the crust is browned.

Drizzle with a bit of honey, and cut into 8 slices. Bella luna! That's amore.

steak tagliata

You'll Eat This One Bloody Tagliata

Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour 15 minutes

Yah yah so Loretta served her steak with spaghetti but I needed some more veggies-- and beef tagliata is a super classic Italian dish and stupid easy to make.

And if you like yours well done, SNAP OUT OF IT. You need to feed your blood!

Ingredients

  • 1 Boneless New York Strip Steak (Little less than 1 lb)
  • 2 Sprigs Rosemary
  • 1 Clove Garlic, thinly sliced
  • Kosher Salt & Fresh Ground Pepper
  • Canola/Veggie Oil
  • 1 Lemon
  • Arugula
  • Parmesan, for shaving
  • Olive Oil
  • Balsamic Vinegar
  • Flaky Salt (like Maldon)

Instructions

At least an hour before cooking (or a few hours if you have the time), drizzle your steak with some canola oil and top with your garlic slices and rosemary sprigs-- wrap tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

steak marinade

Roughly 20 mins before you're ready to eat (and about 30 mins before you head to the bed), heat a grill or griddle pan on high. Cut your lemon in half and brush with a little more oil before adding to the pan. Season both sides of the steak generously with salt and fresh cracked pepper and add it to the pan as well-- cook for about 3-4 mins per side. If your steaks are more than an inch thick, you might need an extra minute.

steak grill

Remove steak and let rest on a carving board for 10 minutes while you assemble your arugula and parmesan on a plate. Drizzle with a bit of balsamic and olive oil.

Cut meat on a diagonal, against the grain, and arrange next to your salad. Squeeze a bit of the grilled lemon over the entire plate, and sprinkle with a little extra flaky salt.

steak tagliata

SON OF A BITCH! So much tastier than chewing off your own foot, ya wolf.

bobo's minestrone

Bobo's Minestrone

Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes

Aaaaah minestrone-- a hefty Italian soup that you can make with the ingredients I have listed here-- OR you can sub in whatever veggies you happen to have in the fridge (squash instead of potatoes, bell peppers instead of carrots, other beans instead of cannelini, pancetta instead of bacon if you're feeling fancy, etc).

Just make sure you have a vodka drink to complement (or better yet a martini), and a towel to clean your face if you're John Mahoney and you've been chasing women.

Ingredients

  • Good olive oil
  • 2 oz Thick Cut Bacon, 1/2-inch-diced
  • 1 cup Onion, chopped
  • 1 cup Carrots, chopped
  • 1 cup Celery, chopped
  • 1 cup Sweet Potato, peeled and chopped
  • 3 cloves Garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp Fresh Thyme Leaves
  • 1 14oz can Diced Tomatoes, preferably San Marzano
  • 4 cups Chicken Broth
  • 1 bay leaf
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 7 oz Cannellini Beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 heaping cup Ditalini pasta, cooked
  • 1/4 cup Dry White Wine
  • 1 tbsp Pesto (see Notes)
  • Freshly grated Parmesan cheese and minced parsley/chives, for serving

Instructions

Gather your stage one ingredients-- your veggies, bacon, thyme and garlic (which you'll need to mince, but for the purposes of the below photo I have kept whole cause it just looked purtier).

minestrone ingredients batch 1

Heat a glug of olive oil over medium heat in a heavy pot or Dutch oven. Add the bacon and cook for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until lightly crisped. Add the onions, carrots, celery, and potatoes and continue to cook, about 8 minutes, until THOSE ingredients are very lightly browned/softened. Toss in your garlic and thyme last and continue to cook for another 2 minutes.

Now for your stage two ingredients!

minestrone ingredients batch 2

Add the 'maters, 3 cups of the chicken stock, the bay leaf, salt, and pepper to the pot. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer uncovered for 30 minutes, until the veggies are tender. Discard the bay leaf and add the beans and cooked pasta, stirring until they are heated through.

Just before serving, reheat the soup and, if it's too thick, add more chicken stock. Stir in the white wine and pesto and season with more salt if needed.

minestrone pesto

Serve in large shallow bowls and sprinkle with finely grated Parmesan cheese, parsley and chives.

bobo's minestrone

Notes

You can go with store bought pesto, or try the recipe I have here in my On The Side collection!

Italian eggs in a basket

Bonus recipe: Ma Castorini's Eggs in a Basket

Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

For dinner or the morning after. Just make sure you get the bread pre-sliced-- you don't want to find yourself screaming I LOST MY HAND next to the bread slicer.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 Red Bell Pepper, sliced
  • 1 Clove Garlic, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 tbsp Olive Oil
  • Salt
  • Pinch Red Pepper Flakes
  • 1 tbsp Butter
  • 2 Slices Italian Bread
  • 2 Eggs

Instructions

Grab your cooking mumu and a frying pan and let's get started.

Heat the olive oil in your pan over medium heat and toss in your bell pepper slices, red pepper flakes, and a pinch of salt. Saute until your peppers soften a bit, and push them to the side of the pan away from the central point of heat-- throw your sliced garlic on top to begin to caramelize, but not burn.

Now, toss in your butter and wait until it's nice a bubbly. While you wait, cut a hole in each of your bread slices with a cookie cutter-- you can discard your bread circles, or toast them up with the other things in your pan.

Add your bread slices to the pan and move them around a bit to make sure the bottoms collect a fair amount of butter. Allow the bottoms to toast for about 4 mins, before flipping and cracking your eggs into the center of each.

Cover the pan and allow the eggs to cook and set to your desired doness (I like my yolks runny).

 

Epilogue

Still can’t get over Cher’s revenge dress at the Oscars. What a god damn icon.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Hocus Pocus 1 & 2

Hocus Pocus 1 & 2

Hocus Pocus– what a goofy ass time. Is it deserving of critical acclaim? No. But it’s a Halloween staple that everyone loves so much Disney just released a sequel 29 years later. And Sarah is STILL REALLY FUNNY! Both Hocus Pocus 1 & 2 star 

Chef

Chef

Get ready to salivate– Chef is one of those foodie films that opens with food, closes with food, and has all the cooking, plating, and eating you could want in between.  A 2014 indie darling by Jon Favreau, Chef follows Carl Casper, a high-end LA 

Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing

Happy 35 to Dirty Dancing, one of the greatest romances and dance films of all time (or at least the 80’s). Damn, Roger Ebert HATED this movie. And yet it has retained a loyal, long lasting fanbase– all of whom, I’m sure, secretly practice Johnny and Baby’s dance moves while watching on repeat. And sometimes crying. But maybe that one’s just me.

Set in the summer of 1963, Dirty Dancing follows a young woman inaptly named Baby, who has just traveled with her family to a Catskills resort for the season. She comes from money, has strong political opinions, and is her daddy’s favorite (poor Lisa). What better way to shake up Baby’s world (literally) than to introduce her to a lover from the wrong side of the tracks– Johnny, the resort’s dance instructor and resident H-O-T-T-T-T-I-E. See, Johnny is in a pickle because his usual partner and best friend, Penny, is knocked up by Robbie the creep. Penny can go get an illegal abortion (eep) but they need Baby to fill in for her. Of course, this leads to a lot of super sexy dance lesson montages and “horizontal mambo-ing” between Baby and Johnny– all of which are accompanied by an A+ soundtrack (some of which Patrick Swayze wrote/performed).

It might sound convenient and fluffy, but hand on heart– the physical talent of Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey (not to mention Cynthia Rhodes) is a sight to behold, and the chemistry throughout Dirty Dancing is palpable. You also have to admit that some of the controversial subject matter (abortion, class division, war, beige iridescent lip gloss) helps to balance out what would otherwise be a sappy coming of age romance. Of course, it’s starting to feel like we live in 1963 again where everything is run by the Robbies and Neil Kellermans of the world. But as Baby would say, we just gotta fight harder. 

So, to celebrate Dirty Dancing, I created a few fusion-y versions of 1960’s staples straight out of Kellerman’s. I think Johnny would approve of my figurative “twists”. But probably not my actual twists. I’m a crap dancer.

Anyway, go cook and have the time of your lives kids. And DON’T STEP ON THE ONE.

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

mambo lift cocktail

Mambo Lift

Yield: 2
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 2 minutes
Total Time: 32 minutes

There are a ton of dances performed/referenced in Dirty Dancing (Merengue, Pachenga, Foxtrot etc). But the penultimate dance is mostly Mambo-- and let's face it, it's all about the lift.

So, I made up a Cuban rum cocktail that steals from the bourbon lift-- a cocktail where the cream literally rises above the top of the glass. Tastes just like an old-fashioned orange creme soda.

Ingredients

  • 3 1/2 oz Light Rum
  • 3 1/2 oz Orange Juice
  • 2 1/2 oz Triple Sec
  • 1 1/2 oz Maraschino Cherry Juice, plus more for spray
  • 1 1/2 oz Heavy Cream
  • Several Splashes of Orange Bitters, plus more for spray
  • Club Soda
  • Edible Rice Paper
  • 2 Drops Red Food Coloring

Instructions

If you care enough, start with your edible paper silhouettes. Fill a small spritzer or hair spray bottle with a mixture of about a tbsp of maraschino cherry juice, red food coloring, a splash of bitters. Add enough water (about 4 more tbsp) to the spritzer and go to town on your rice paper. It will get sticky, so best to spritz on a sheet of wax paper. Set aside to dry completely before cutting.

edible paper

Find a cool silhouette graphic of Johnny and Baby online (like this one!) and trace onto your flavored paper-- cut out. They don't have to be perfect!

lift cutout

Now for your booze. Add rum, orange juice, triple sec, cream, cherry juice, and a few dashes of bitters to a cocktail shaker. Shake, twist, shout, whatever-- just hold your frame and work those spaghetti arms! Strain into a glass, and fill remaining space almost completely with soda water. You'll see the foam begin to rise to the top of the glass. Wait about 30 seconds, and then add another few spases of soda water to raise te foam completely over the top of the glass.

mambo lift

Top with your edible silhouettes, pressing down lightly-- the paper will start to melt into the foam. Slurp away, and GET LOOSE. Though, no amount of these could ever make me try the dance move silhoutted. Possibly the Hula Hana bounce, though. Ask me after two of these.

I carried a watermelon

I Carried a Watermelon

Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

I CARRIED a WATERMELON???

These are not your standard refreshing fruit wedges. They're a little... dirty. 'Cau 'cau 'cau 'cau 'cause I'm a love (wo)man.

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp Olive Oil
  • Juice from 1/2 lime
  • 1/2 tsp honey
  • 1/4 tsp chili powder
  • 1/4 tsp smoked paprika
  • 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
  • A hefty shot of Johnny (Walker) **Optional
  • 1/2 mini watermelon, cut into 1-inch thick wedges

Instructions

Alright campers, time to get those ingredients together! Cut your watermelon, and whisk your remaining ingredients until the honey is completely dissovlved.

watermelon ingredients

When ready to serve, pour vinaigrette over watermelon wedges and savor the smoky, spicy, sexy taste.

spicy watermelon

That extra hit of Johnny might even have you crawling around on the floor singing Baaaabyyyyyy, ooooohooo baaaaabbbyyy, my sweeet baaaaaabbyy.

peace corps pot roast with baby vegetables

Peace Corps Pot Roast with Baby Vegetables

Prep Time: 3 minutes
Cook Time: 3 hours
Total Time: 3 hours

One of the earliest moments illustrating the Housemans' privilege occurs at a Kellerman's dinner when Baby's mother recommends sending Baby's leftover pot roast to starving children in Europe. Try Southeast Asia MA.

Inspired by Baby's Peace Corps fueled chagrin, here's a pot roast with a Southeast Asian flair. This recipe features ingredients from Vietnamese Bò kho, from Filipino Pares, and several others-- and, of course, some vegetables for Baby. All mixed in, definitely NOT relegated to the corner.

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs boneless beef chuck roast
  • 1 tbsp flour, divided
  • salt & pepper
  • 1 tbsp vegetable oil
  • 1 inch chunk ginger, peeled and grated
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
  • 1 tbsp tomato paste
  • 3 tbsp shoaxing wine
  • 1 cup beef broth
  • 1 1/2 tbsp dark soy sauce
  • 1/2 tbsp fish sauce
  • 1 star anise
  • 1 hefty pinch clove
  • 1 heaping cup baby onions
  • 1 heaping cup baby rainbow carrots, halved on a bias into large chunks
  • Scallions, sliced on a bias

Instructions

Sprinkle all sides of your chuck roast with a tbsp (or slightly more, if needed)-- salt and pepper as well.

chuck roast

Heat vegetable oil in a dutch oven or pot on high. Brown all sides of the meat, about 1 to 2 minutes per side. Remove from the pot and set aside while you get your remaining ingredients together and preheat your oven (350 degrees).

pot roast ingredients

Add garlic, ginger and red pepper flakes to your pot and saute for a minute to caramelize. Add tomoto paste and shaoxing wine, stirring briefly to unstick and break up the garlicy meaty bits at the bottom of the pan. Add your liquids and remaining spices and bring to a boil. Add the meat back to the pot and reduce to a simmer-- cover, and place in your preheated oven. Roast for an hour-- then toss in your carrots and onions.

braise roast

Continue to roast for another hour and a half, or until meat is fork tender.

pot roast shredded

Spoon off any excess fat from the surface of your liquid, and pour over shredding beef, carrots and onions.

peace corps pot roast with baby vegetables

mashed potatoes with a twist

I Can Mash Potato, AND Do the Twist

Where the twist is literally lemon in your dirty chive-y mashed potatoes.

Ingredients

  • 1 lb Yukon Gold or Fingerling Potatoes
  • 2 Russet Potatoes
  • 1/2 cup Half and Half, plus more as needed
  • Zest 1/2 Lemon
  • 2 tbsp Salted Butter, plus a pat for serving
  • 1/4 tsp Ground Pepper
  • 1/2 tsp Salt
  • 1 1/2 tsp Chives, minced

Instructions

Bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil. While you wait, peel your russet potatoes and cut into 2 inch cubes. For the gold/fingerling potatoes, cut into 2 inch cubes but leave te skin on.

Once your water has begun to boil, dump your potatoes in and cook until they can be crushed with a fork-- about 15-20 minutes. Strain the potatoes and transfer to a mixing bowl. Add your butter, half and half, lemon zest, chives, salt and pepper. Now it's time to get down and dirty with your potato masher-- totally fine if there are some light chunks and pieces of potato peel, we're not trying to be upper class here. Season with additional salt and pepper, to taste.

mashing potato with lemon

Serve with a twisty flourish, topped with extra chives and a melty pat of butter.

mashed potatoes with a twist

 

Epilogue

I miss Patrick Swayze :(. You can donate here to help improve the lives of pancreatic cancer– because fuck cancer.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Ratatouille

Ratatouille

“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.” Out of the mouths of rats… Ratatouille is, to this day, one of the best foodie films ever made. Even Anthony Bourdain thought so! Once you get past the very 

Bridget Jones’s Diary

Bridget Jones’s Diary

It all began on New Year’s Day… or in the case of this post, New Year’s Eve. All hail Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger), wanton sex goddess, who was able to land two, count ’em TWO, of the hottest British actors to ever grace the silver 

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Happy 55th Anniversary to Chuck Jones’s classic TV adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas!! I know there have been a number of movies based on the original children’s book at this point, but this holiday animated special always held a special place in my heart. First, it is painfully neon and creepy AF (thanks Dr. Seuss and Boris Karloff). Second, because while I love the Grinch theme, that damn Whoville song “Welcome Christmas” always makes me cry sloppy. Maybe that says something about the size of my heart the other 364 days of the year (MEH, tell me how YOU fared in 2021)– but also there’s something to be said about Christmas not always being about presents. Sometimes, it’s about nostalgia, being together, holding hands, and singing…

Nah. Nevermind. It’s about food. What was I thinking. But the song is still real pretty.

Ok I know this is only a 26 minute special but I have to honor the Whoville Christmas feast with a legit Roast Beast– with this of course comes Who Pudding, Who Hash, and a few other items that I definitely would’ve have stolen in a flash (hey look, I rhymed). Merry Christmas guys :).

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

grinchmas punch

Grinchmas Punch

Yield: 2 Cocktails
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

This yummy punch is a perfect complement to your holiday Who-meal-- and just sweet enough to make the grouchiest of Grinches a little more chipper.

Ingredients

  • 3 oz Gin, chilled
  • 3 oz Cranberry Juice Cocktail, chilled
  • 3 oz Ginger Beer, chilled
  • 3 oz Prosecco, chilled
  • 1/2 oz Lime Juice
  • Lime round, for garnish
  • Sugar, Green Food Coloring, and Lime Zest, for garnish (optional, see note)

Instructions

Pour first five ingredients into a (limey sugary rimmed) champagne coupe/flute. Garnish with a slice of lime and feel the holiday spirit coursing through your veins!

Notes

If you'd like to garnish the rim of your glass with colored sugar, feel free to mix a bit of lime juice with granulated sugar , zest, and a drop of grinchy green food coloring. Fully mix with your fingers, and allow to dry completely. Wet the rim of your glass with water, then dip into the sugar before pouring your liquids in.

roast beast

Roast Beast

Yield: 2 servings plus lots of leftovers...
Prep Time: 12 hours
Cook Time: 5 hours
Additional Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 17 hours 45 minutes

Though the roast beast in How The Grinch Stole Christmas looks like a bird (sometimes? It's got hooves in one shot, wings in another, Seuss you weirdo), it's very clearly RED MEAT. And there is really no other better red meat to make for a holiday meal than PRIME RIB. Serve it up with some horseradish cream-- it's seriously so good you guys, get ready to never make a turkey in December again.

Ingredients

  • 3 Bone-In Prime Rib Roast (see Note)
  • 1 1/2 tbsp Rosemary, minced, plus 1/2 tbsp more for the Jus
  • 1 1/2 tbsp Garlic, minced (3-4 cloves)
  • 1/2 cup Olive Oil
  • 1 tsp Salt
  • 1/2 tsp Freshly Ground Pepper
  • (For Horseradish Cream)
  • 3/4 cup Mayonnaise
  • 1/4 cup Sour Cream
  • 2 tbsp Dijon Mustard
  • 2 1/2 tbsp Horseradish
  • Salt, to taste

Instructions

The night before, whisk together your rosemary, garlic, salt, pepper, and olive oil and rub into your rib roast. Note, when you order your roast, you should get it not "boneless", but with the chine bones cut almost away from the base of the meat-- see where my finger is pointing? The butcher should be able to then tie the meat back onto the bones, thus making this a "standing" rib roast.

standing rib roast

The morning of the big day, remove your roast from the fridge and allow to come to room temperature-- this should take about 2 hours. In the meantime, preheat your oven to its lowest setting (I put mine at about 200 degrees).

When your oven is heated, insert a thermometer into the center of the rib roast, between two bones. Slow roast in the oven for about 5 hours, until the internal temperature reaches 120-125 degrees for rare (don't worry, while it rests, the meat will continue to cook-- if you want a roast that is a bit more well done, see Note).

While the roast beast is roasting, make the horseradish cream. Combine mayo, sour cream, dijon, and horseradish and mix thoroughly. Add salt to taste, and refrigerate (if you can resist just eating it by the spoonful).

horseradish cream

When your roast has finally reached your preferred internal temperature, remove it from the oven and allow it to rest for at least 30 mins and up to 1 1/2 hours.

resting roast

Increase the temperature of your oven to its highest (mine was 550).

About 15 minutes before you are ready to carve, put your roast beast back into your super hot oven and cook until well-browned and crisp on the exterior.

To carve: remove the cooking twine and cut the main roast away from the bones. Set roast cut-side down and slice the meat across the grain according to the thickness you prefer. You'll see three different thicknesses below cause I had kind of a shitty knife... whoopth.

roast beast

Notes

120-125°F (49-52°C) would be about rare, 130°F (54°C) for medium-rare, or 135°F (57°C) for medium to medium-well. Remember, your roast will continue to cook, increasing about 5 more degrees, as it rests outside of the oven! PS if you want more deets on how to achieve the perfect reverse sear, and more importantly why it's the way to go with prime rib, check out this link.

broccolini wreath

Broccolini Holly-Who-Wreath

Yield: 2 Servings
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

A wonderful way to get your vegetables in-- this Holly-Who-Wreath is super easy peasy and delicious enough to be of interest to those who like to pilfer tasty holiday dishes.

Ingredients

  • 8 oz Broccolini
  • 3/4 cup Chicken Broth
  • 2 Cloves Garlic
  • 2 tbsp Olive Oil
  • Pinch Red Pepper Flakes
  • Squeeze Lemon Juice
  • Salt & Pepper, to taste
  • Pomegranate Seeds, for garnish

Instructions

The beauty of this recipe is its simplicity-- salty with only a bit of finishing sweet.

broccolini ingredients

First, steam the broccolini in a large sautee pat with one cup of chicken broth-- bring the broth to boiling, add the broccolini and garlic cloves, cover, and steam for 2 minutes, 30 seconds (NO MORE, NO LESS).

Remove the lid and add olive oil and red pepper flakes to the pan. Quickly sear the broccolini over high heat until slightly brown. Squeeze quickly with a bit of lemon juice, and sprinkle with salt and freshly cracked pepper.

sauteed broccolini

Arrange on your plate in a wreath design around your roast beast, and garnish with pomegranate seeds!

who hash

Who Hash

Yield: 2 Servings

Every Who down in Whoville apparently had a thing for cans of Who Hash. And while some would say corned beef is the way to go, we've already got the prime rib-- so let's add some sage and BACON.

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 cup Russet Potato, diced into 1/2 inch cubes
  • 1 1/2 cup Sweet Potato, diced into 1/2 inch cubes
  • 2 tbsp White Vinegar
  • 1 tsp Salt
  • 1 cup Shallot, diced into 1/2 inch chunks
  • 2 slices Thick Cut Bacon (plus more for snacking while cooking)
  • Salt & Pepper, to taste
  • Fried Sage Leaves (optional)

Instructions

Begin with your base ingredients:

hash base

Fill a medium pot with 2 qts of water and add your potato cubes. Add vinegar and salt to the water and bring to a boil-- reduce to a simmer and cook for about 5 minutes until the potatoes are just tender. Strain and set aside.

Next, in a large saute pan, fry up some bacon! Quick rule of thumb-- always put your slices of bacon in a cold pan and heat it up to medium. Don't ask me why, it's just what you're sposed to do.

bacon

Drain finished bacon on napkins and feel free to snack on one or two slices. In the meantime, pour roughly 1/3 of the grease into a bowl and set aside. Reheat the grease in the pan over medium high, and add your potatoes! Sautee until browned, about 10 minutes. Mince one of the sage leaves, and toss half of those minced bits in with your potatoes. Saute for a minute more, and transfer to a bowl.

potato hash

In the same pan, add your reserved bacon grease and heat to medium. Add shallots and caramalize/brown-- but do not burn! Stir frequently for about 10 more minutes, and again add half of your minced sage. Toss for another minute or so, and add to your bowl of potatoes.

Finish by tossing in your bacon, and adding salt and pepper to taste. And, if you like to be semi-fancy, fry some sage leaves over high heat in olive oil for about a minute per side, for garnish.

who hash

who pudding

Who Pudding

Yield: 2 (Large) Who Puddings
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Additional Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour 30 minutes

This not-quite-an-American-or-British-but-kind-of-trifle-like-Who Pudding will make your heart grow THIS BIGx3. Especially when you realize how easy it is to make.

Just note, you have to eat your way through all three layers in order for it (and the sugar rush) to take full effect.

Ingredients

  • 1 pint Strawberries
  • 1/4 Lemon, zested and juiced
  • 1 1/2 tbsp Sugar
  • 1/2 tsp Cornstarch
  • 1/2 cups Heavy Whipping Cream
  • 5 oz Cream Cheese, at room temperature
  • 1/2 cups Confectioner's Sugar
  • 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 6 oz Frozen Raspberries
  • 1 1/2 tbsp Sugar
  • 1 Large Egg White

Instructions

Begin with your strawberry jam/compote, as it will need a bit to set. Cut your strawberries into 1/4 inch slices, and throw into a small saucepan with sugar, lemon, and zest. Bring to a boil, and reduce too a simmer for about 5 minutes until strawberries break down.

strawberry jam

Remove from the heat, and cool before transferring to a bowl to chill for at least an hour before serving.

Follow this up with your whipped cream cheese layer, which can be refrigerated for at least a day before serving. Begin by adding your cream cheese, confectioners sugar, and vanilla to a small bowl. Using a hand mixer, beat until smooth (about 2 minutes).

In a separate bowl, whip your whipping cream with the same hand mixer until stiff peaks form (about 3 minutes).

Now for the Schitt's Creek hilarity-- take 1/3 of your whipped cream and FOLD it into the cream cheese mixture until it's fully incorporated. You're trying to get the cream cheese mixture to be a bit lighter before adding it to the rest of the whipped cream, so as not to completely flatten it with subsequent FOLDING. And that's just what you do next-- add that now lighter whipped cream/cream cheese mix to the rest of the whipped cream, and FOLD lightly until mixed:

cream cheese whipped cream

Refrigerate.

Now for the most timely layer-- the raspberry mousse! Most mousses require gelatin, but I stole this 3 ingredient recipe from Serious Eats and damn if it didn't work perfectly.

No longer than 30 minutes before you plan to serve, add your frozen raspberries and granulated sugar to a food processor and puree until broken down as much as possible. Then, add an egg white-- puree for 2-3 minutes and you'll see the mixture become full, light and fluffy. It's like a Christmas miracle!

raspberry mousse

Store immediately in the fridge, unless you're not able to spoon up immediately. But, if you are, start with a layer of strawberry, followed by whipped cream cheese, followed by raspberry mouse, and repeat. Top off with three strawberries cut into the shape of hearts (cause Dr. Seuss was literal too) and a sprig of mint.

who pudding

 

Epilogue

My favorite character in How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is definitely Max. Poor little thing. So for those Max’s in your life, maybe make some treats from this website— I may try a couple of these recipes in the next couple of weeks but for now I’m cooked out.

And also, did Cindy Lou Who inspire Maggie Simpson’s no feet look? Thought for the day.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

The Secret Garden

The Secret Garden

All the talk about Spring last week made me want to revisit The Secret Garden (not the crap adaptation that recently came out with Colin Firth, the one that Francis Ford Coppola EP’d in 1993). While my current habitat is much more like India than