Forrest Gump
30 years after its release (omg I’m OLD), Forrest Gump still holds up. Parts may not necessarily be as PC as they were once thought to be, but it’s still an A+ film that deserved all six of its Academy Award wins. That doesn’t even …
Tag: ice cream
The Goonies
HEEYYYY YOUUUU GUYYYYYS, it’s National Junk Food Day! Which could really be any day for me, especially if pizza is involved. And I’m relatively certain this would be the case for The Goonies too– which is why you now have a pirate-y, Chunk-y, highly fattening set of recipes to enjoy below.
The Goonies is a 1985 classic that is, to this day, one of my favorite adventure films. And that’s not surprising, given it was EP’d (and closely monitored) by Steven Spielberg and directed by the late Richard Donner (Superman, Ladyhawke, Free Willy, so many more…). The film centers around a group of outcast kids self-dubbed as the Goonies– Sean Astin playing Mikey the asthmatic leader, my fave Ke Huy Quan playing nerdy inventor Data, Jeff Cohen as fat kid klutz Chunk, Corey Feldman as Mouth, and (though he would likely deny his Goonie status), older brother Brand (Josh Brolin).
When the rich assholes on the other side of town swoop in to purchase their neighborhood property in the Goondocks, Mikey and co head up to Mikey’s attic to see if they can find some last minute “rich stuff” to save their neighborhood. Instead, they find an aged treasure map that leads them on a fantastical, goofy, and sometimes gruesome quest to find famous pirate One-Eyed Willy’s buried treasure. As if booty, ahem booby (that’s what I said!) traps, lots of skeletons, and kissing sessions with ewwww GIRLS weren’t enough to contend with, the Goonies also have the criminal Fratelli’s (<3 Mama Anne Ramsey) on their trail.
And of course we can’t not mention Sloth, adopted Goonie– but I’m not sure how to describe him. So just watch.
If you haven’t seen The Goonies, you’re in for a legit treat you dorks. Plus, heyo, lots of actual treats to eat complete with Baby Ruth RUTH, Pepsi and Domino’s product placement. And now that I’m about 50lbs heavier than I was before I ate everything, I’ll need some pretty strong pinchers of power to button my pants without having a heart attack from the effort. But, after all, GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE(T). … see what I did there? Mouth would be ashamed.
The Movie
(PS The music in this trailer is from Neverending Story. I sense a double feature in my immediate future…)
The Menu
Oh boy, soda pop! With a LOT of rum for all pirates great and small (as long as their over 21). Just be careful-- alcohol combined with this much sugar and fruit could sink you. Divide all liquid ingredients between two cocktail glasses. Drop in some ice, garnish with fruit, and keep your eye out for tricky footing ahead, cause holy S-H-I-T! A pirate-y little twist on a fast food pizza with all three of Dominos most popular toppings-- (coin) pepperoni, (skull) mushroom, and extra cheeeeese. If you are making your pizza dough and following my recipe, reserve several hous in advance for dough to rise, etc. While you wait, you'll have plenty of time to cut little skull faces into your mushrooms-- using a straw or a piping tip, cut eyes into mushroom sliced from top through the stem. Then, use a sharp knife to cut a triangular nose hole, as well as "teeth" into the mushroom stems. Set aside (but not for too long or they will turn brown). And if you really want, give one an eyepatch P). Once your dough is ready, preheat your oven to its highest setting (mine goes up to 500 degrees). Spread cornmeal over parchment paper-- this will help hold your dough in place and give you that quintessential Dominos CRUNCH. Top with tomato sauce and (extra) cheese, followed by mushrooms and pepperoni. Carefully lift your pizza by the parchment paper corners and place into your preheated oven, either on a cookie sheet or pizza stone. Bake for just over 10 minutes, monitoring to make sure it doesn't burn. Remove from oven and allow to rest for a minute or two before cutting. And stay away from my pepperonis!!! You can find my pizza dough recipe in my On the Side section here. My favorite pizza sauce recipe is here. Ah the potato chip-- possibly the most perfect of the junk foods. But these you can't eat until you do the truffle shuffle. Obviously. Using a mandoline at one of it's thinnest setting, 1/16 - 1/8 of an inch, slice potatoes-- you really do need a mandoline folks, a sharp knife is highly unlikely to get slices thin enough. Add all of the potato slices to a large bowl filled with water and let sit for 30 mintues. The potatoes will lose their starch and you'll notice they will start to become stiff. Drain slices and set aside briefly. In a large saucepan, bring vinegar and 2 quarts water to a boil. Add potato slices and cook for 3 minutes. Drain, and place on paper towels to dry while you heat your oil. Heat oil to roughly 325 degrees. Once the oil hits temperature, fry your chips in 3 or 4 batches, making sure to move slices around with a heat proof spoon/spatula to prevent slices from sticking to one another. Each batch should take about 5 minutes, depending on how much your oil temperature fluctuates with the introduction of each batch to the pan. Potato chips will be done when they are a light golden color and they stop releasing bubbles as they fry (lack of bubbles means all of the water in the chips has been fried away, and your chips will be crispy cripsy!). Remove from the oil with a slotted spoon or strainer and transfer to a paper towel to dry/drain. Sprinkle as soon as possible with truffle salt to taste (I used a little more than a teaspoon). Transfer to a ziploc until ready to serve, at which point-- you know what to do. If kept in a sealed container/ziploc, chips will keep for a week! Ruth! Ruth! Baby! Ruth! Forever my (and Sloth's) favorite candy bar-- and now in ice cream form (with a little "chocolate eruption" added in). Whip your cream with a hand or stand mixer in a medium bowl-- after a couple of minutes you should see stiff peaks. Mix salt and extracts into half of your condensed milk-- set the rest of your condensed milk aside for the chocolate sauce. Fold one third of the whipped cream into the condensed milk mix to lighting it up a bit, then fold that lightened milk back into the fresh whipped cream-- VERY gently-- with a rubber spatula. You don't want to be heavy handed, or your ice cream will be a creamy ice cube. Pour into a pie tin or small metal loaf pan and smooth with your spatula. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and freeze for about 2 hours. About 15 minutes before your ice cream is finished with it's first round of freezing, make your chocolate "eruption" sauce. Add reserved condensed milk and chocolate chips to a small saucepan. Heat over medium, stirring constantly, until chocolate chips are melted-- add butter and mix until fully incorporated. Keep warm on the stove until you're ready to swirl. Once you've hit your two hour freeze mark, your ice cream should be about the consistency of soft serve. At this point you can add 3/4 of your candy bar chunks... ...and then swirl in your caramel sauce and chocolate eruption sauce. Continue to freeze, covered, until solid and scoopable (about another 4 hours). I smell ice cream!
Booty Trap Cocktail
Yield:
2 cocktails
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Goonie Pie
Yield:
Single 8inch Thick Crust Pizza
Prep Time:
2 hours 30 minutes
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
3 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Truffle Shuffle Tato Chips
Yield:
4 Servings Unless You're a Goonie Then It's 2
Cook Time:
1 hour
Total Time:
1 hour
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Baby Ruth Chunk Ice Cream
Yield:
2 Large Servings (or 1 if you're Chunk)
Cook Time:
6 hours
Total Time:
6 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Epilogue
Having now rewatched the streaming version of The Goonies a few times, I gotta say I was a little disgruntled that the TV version I remember from my youth had a lot more footage included! So, for your post-viewing pleasure, here are all of the Goonies deleted scenes. And, here’s a link to perhaps the best/worst of them. You’re welcome.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Jurassic Park
While the initial intention was to time this Jurassic Park menu to the release of the sixth (and dear god we hope) final movie in the Jurassic Park/World franchise, I’ve also realized that I’m slowly making my way through the Steven Spielberg “top five”. If …
Little Miss Sunshine
Little Miss Sunshine is one of those films that you’re thrilled exists– a wonderful family dramedy that is so well written and so well acted that it leaves you with hope for the film industry. The movie opens with a relatively dark montage. Mom Sheryl …
Dick Tracy
This past weekend was my oldest friend’s birthday. Coincidentally, he’s also the person who helped me start this blog. So I figured what better way to celebrate him than to attempt (for the fourth or fifth time) a menu perfectly matched to his favorite movie: Warren Beatty’s 1990 adaptation of Dick Tracy.
Even if you don’t like comic books, this movie is well worth a watch. Dick Tracy is a visually stunning noir that more than deserves a menu packed full of primary colors and hard lighting. Set in a stylized, thirties-era world where the bad guys physically manifest their worst personality traits, Warren Beatty stars as hard-boiled hero Dick Tracy– a detective committed to saving a city overrun by gangsters (while desperately trying to avoid parental responsibility AND juggling two dames. Men, amiright?).
In addition to the comic book set design and a soundtrack by Stephen Sondheim, the cast of characters in Dick Tracy are themselves fascinating to watch. Underneath layers and layers of grotesque silicon and paint, actors Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, William Forsyth are almost perfect replicas of comic book criminals Big Boy Caprice, Mumbles, and Flattop. Opposite them, tough-guy sleuth Tracy, his (horribly treated) girlfriend Tess Trueheart, and The Kid (played by Beatty, Glenne Headly, and Charlie Korsmo respectively) shine as a wise-cracking familial trio. Plus, random small parts for huge actors like Mandy Patinkin, Kathy Bates, Catherine O’Hara, Dick Van Dyke, and James Caan– why are they there? I have no idea, but I love it.
And then you have Madonna as Breathless Mahoney— Madonna, at the height of her singing fame lookin’ platinum and seductive AF and delivering lines like “I sweat a lot better in the dark”. What a silly fun time.
But enough about the movie, on to the food. Because I have a vision. A big boss must have a vision. And in my Dick Tracy vision I saw a giant bowl of vibrant chili ala Mike’s Diner. The smell alone will have you askin’, “when do we eat?”.
The Movie
The Menu
Not so fast coppa! You can't eat a Dick Tracy meal without a cocktail in your hand-- here's one that packs a wollop. And I didn't even have to make the name up! In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, vigourously shake the first four ingredients for a couple of minutes-- you want to break up as much of the apricot jamminess as you can. Pour into an ice filled glass and top off with ginger beer and a lemon twist and BLAM POW POW you've got quite a cocktail. Mike's Diner is Dick Tracy's favorite place to eat, and from the looks of it supplies a chili far superior than the gunk that comes out of a can in Tracy's office. So, I've made a three bean, three pepper, chunky steak chili to celebrate our favorite trio of Mike's patrons and served it up with some cheesy Ritz club crackers for dunking. Note, this makes about 6 servings, but it freezes so well I wouldn't bother halving the recipe. Besides, if you're anything like The Kid you won't need to worry about leftovers anyway. Begin by assembling your base ingredients-- these are what will flavor your chili! Next, cut your chuck steak into 1/2 inch cubes. Dredge in a bit of flour and sprinkle with salt and pepper and set aside. Hit a medium pot with a healthy glug of canola oil and bring to medium high heat. Add meat to the pot and sear on all sides about 2 mins. You'll want the meat to form a bit of a crust! Remove from the pot and set aside on a plate-- juices will collect, but don't worry we won't waste them. Now, add your base ingredients to the pot and a bit more canola oil. Caramelize for about 3 mins before adding the tomato paste. Stir and cook for a minute more. That done, it's time to add most of the remaining ingredients (in the above list, that's the chili powder allllll the way down to the beans (I like this Whole Foods version!). At this point you can also re-add your meat and all of the accumulated juices to the pot. Stir, and reduce heat to low-- allow to simmer for 2 hours and your meat will be very tender. On to the crackers! 20 minutes before serving, preheat the oven to 400. Grate your cheddar if you haven't already, and get your spices together. Place Ritz crackers on a sil pat or parchment paper lightly sprayed with canola oil. Cover with cheese, and sprinkle with pinches of your seasonings. Bake for about 4 mins, keeping a close eye on the crackers so they don't burn. Remove from the oven and allow to cool slightly before dipping into chili. Speaking of which... time to EAT. After your 2 hour slow cook, serve up your chili in bowls topped with your preferred garnishes-- I love sour cream, more red and yellow bell pepper + sliced jalapeno for another trio element, and (what the hell) more cheddar cheese. Chili freezes VERY well-- so don't worry if you end up with extra. Best diner dessert? An ice cream sundae! Here I've smothered what would otherwise be a faceless vanilla ice cream in a dark and sexy champagne blueberry syrup; then I topped it all off with candied walnuts, despite them being "bad for the brain". Just look at the pretty colors! For the blueberry syrup-- a super simple base of ingredients is ALMOST all that's needed for a smooth and succulant ice cream topper. Add the sugar, blueberries, champagne, and lemon to a small sauce pan and bring to a boil-- boil for 1 min and reduce heat to low, stirring briefly. Whisk cornstarch into water rapidly to create a smooth slurry. Add to the sauce pan and stir. Your sauce will thicken pretty immediately. Add your vanilla to the pan, and remove from heat-- at this point the syrup should just barely slide off the back of a spoon. Allow the sauce to cool completely, covered, while you move on to the nuts! The nuts are crazy easy-- preheat your oven to 400, and in a non-stick skillet, melt sugar with a tbsp of water. Place walnuts on a sil pat lined cookie sheet and pour your melted sugar over your nuts. Toss to cover fully. Bake for roughly 5 mins, checking every so often to make sure they do not burn. Remove from oven and allow to cool before going anywhere near your ice cream! When ready to chow down, scoop vanilla ice cream into your chosen receptacle (I chose a champagne coup in honor of Madonna) and top with blueberry syrup and nuts. If you are more ambitious than I am and decide to make your own vanilla ice cream, I have a good base recipe in this Ferris Bueller's Day Off post.
Tommy Gun Fizz
Yield:
1 Drink
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Trio Chili w/ Cheesy Ritz
Yield:
6 Servings
Prep Time:
30 minutes
Cook Time:
2 hours
Total Time:
2 hours 30 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Bad Guy Sundae
Cook Time:
20 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Epilogue
So, turns out Warren Beatty loves Dick Tracy so much that he would do almost anything to prevent the rights from reverting to the original comic strip owners Tribune Media Services— even make a super weird half-hour television special in which film critic Leonard Maltin recites a bunch of facts about Dick Tracy and Beatty– awkwardly in character as Tracy– corrects him.
You can watch that 2009 debacle below. But hey, hopefully this means we’ll never have to deal with a poorly executed Beatty-less reboot!!!
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Thelma & Louise
ON THIS DAY 30 years ago, Thelma & Louise drove across the country in a blue Thunderbird and into the annals of feminist film history. It’s one of those movies I rediscover every 10 years– funny, tragic, and (sadly) still so relevant, Thelma & Louise was written …
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off has always reminded me of my youth visiting family and friends in Chicago. I’m a Florida kid, so I always appreciated the cold weather and fireflies. And the Shedd Aquarium. And the Adler Planetarium. And the trains. And the river. And …