Recipes for foodies and film nerds. Because life's too short for stale popcorn and crappy movies.
Boondock Saints: “A juvenile, ugly movie that represents the worst tendencies of directors channeling Tarantino.” Fair enough. But it’s still a fun ride and Sean Patrick Flanery is feckin’ hot. If you grew up in the 90’s, you’ve likely seen Boondock Saints and have since …
Turns out Moonstruck is 35 years young this month, and it also happens to be a holiday film. So happy Christmas Eve– time to celebrate with a bunch of classic Italian dishes and a lotta booze! When Moonstruck was released in 1987, Cher had already …
Happy 35 to Dirty Dancing, one of the greatest romances and dance films of all time (or at least the 80’s). Damn, Roger Ebert HATED this movie. And yet it has retained a loyal, long lasting fanbase– all of whom, I’m sure, secretly practice Johnny and Baby’s dance moves while watching on repeat. And sometimes crying. But maybe that one’s just me.
Set in the summer of 1963, Dirty Dancing follows a young woman inaptly named Baby, who has just traveled with her family to a Catskills resort for the season. She comes from money, has strong political opinions, and is her daddy’s favorite (poor Lisa). What better way to shake up Baby’s world (literally) than to introduce her to a lover from the wrong side of the tracks– Johnny, the resort’s dance instructor and resident H-O-T-T-T-T-I-E. See, Johnny is in a pickle because his usual partner and best friend, Penny, is knocked up by Robbie the creep. Penny can go get an illegal abortion (eep) but they need Baby to fill in for her. Of course, this leads to a lot of super sexy dance lesson montages and “horizontal mambo-ing” between Baby and Johnny– all of which are accompanied by an A+ soundtrack (some of which Patrick Swayze wrote/performed).
It might sound convenient and fluffy, but hand on heart– the physical talent of Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey (not to mention Cynthia Rhodes) is a sight to behold, and the chemistry throughout Dirty Dancing is palpable. You also have to admit that some of the controversial subject matter (abortion, class division, war, beige iridescent lip gloss) helps to balance out what would otherwise be a sappy coming of age romance. Of course, it’s starting to feel like we live in 1963 again where everything is run by the Robbies and Neil Kellermans of the world. But as Baby would say, we just gotta fight harder.
So, to celebrate Dirty Dancing, I created a few fusion-y versions of 1960’s staples straight out of Kellerman’s. I think Johnny would approve of my figurative “twists”. But probably not my actual twists. I’m a crap dancer.
Anyway, go cook and have the time of your lives kids. And DON’T STEP ON THE ONE.
There are a ton of dances performed/referenced in Dirty Dancing (Merengue, Pachenga, Foxtrot etc). But the penultimate dance is mostly Mambo-- and let's face it, it's all about the lift. So, I made up a Cuban rum cocktail that steals from the bourbon lift-- a cocktail where the cream literally rises above the top of the glass. Tastes just like an old-fashioned orange creme soda. If you care enough, start with your edible paper silhouettes. Fill a small spritzer or hair spray bottle with a mixture of about a tbsp of maraschino cherry juice, red food coloring, a splash of bitters. Add enough water (about 4 more tbsp) to the spritzer and go to town on your rice paper. It will get sticky, so best to spritz on a sheet of wax paper. Set aside to dry completely before cutting. Find a cool silhouette graphic of Johnny and Baby online (like this one!) and trace onto your flavored paper-- cut out. They don't have to be perfect! Now for your booze. Add rum, orange juice, triple sec, cream, cherry juice, and a few dashes of bitters to a cocktail shaker. Shake, twist, shout, whatever-- just hold your frame and work those spaghetti arms! Strain into a glass, and fill remaining space almost completely with soda water. You'll see the foam begin to rise to the top of the glass. Wait about 30 seconds, and then add another few spases of soda water to raise te foam completely over the top of the glass. Top with your edible silhouettes, pressing down lightly-- the paper will start to melt into the foam. Slurp away, and GET LOOSE. Though, no amount of these could ever make me try the dance move silhoutted. Possibly the Hula Hana bounce, though. Ask me after two of these. I CARRIED a WATERMELON??? These are not your standard refreshing fruit wedges. They're a little... dirty. 'Cau 'cau 'cau 'cau 'cause I'm a love (wo)man. Alright campers, time to get those ingredients together! Cut your watermelon, and whisk your remaining ingredients until the honey is completely dissovlved. When ready to serve, pour vinaigrette over watermelon wedges and savor the smoky, spicy, sexy taste. That extra hit of Johnny might even have you crawling around on the floor singing Baaaabyyyyyy, ooooohooo baaaaabbbyyy, my sweeet baaaaaabbyy. One of the earliest moments illustrating the Housemans' privilege occurs at a Kellerman's dinner when Baby's mother recommends sending Baby's leftover pot roast to starving children in Europe. Try Southeast Asia MA. Inspired by Baby's Peace Corps fueled chagrin, here's a pot roast with a Southeast Asian flair. This recipe features ingredients from Vietnamese Bò kho, from Filipino Pares, and several others-- and, of course, some vegetables for Baby. All mixed in, definitely NOT relegated to the corner. Sprinkle all sides of your chuck roast with a tbsp (or slightly more, if needed)-- salt and pepper as well. Heat vegetable oil in a dutch oven or pot on high. Brown all sides of the meat, about 1 to 2 minutes per side. Remove from the pot and set aside while you get your remaining ingredients together and preheat your oven (350 degrees). Add garlic, ginger and red pepper flakes to your pot and saute for a minute to caramelize. Add tomoto paste and shaoxing wine, stirring briefly to unstick and break up the garlicy meaty bits at the bottom of the pan. Add your liquids and remaining spices and bring to a boil. Add the meat back to the pot and reduce to a simmer-- cover, and place in your preheated oven. Roast for an hour-- then toss in your carrots and onions. Continue to roast for another hour and a half, or until meat is fork tender. Spoon off any excess fat from the surface of your liquid, and pour over shredding beef, carrots and onions. Where the twist is literally lemon in your dirty chive-y mashed potatoes. Bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil. While you wait, peel your russet potatoes and cut into 2 inch cubes. For the gold/fingerling potatoes, cut into 2 inch cubes but leave te skin on. Once your water has begun to boil, dump your potatoes in and cook until they can be crushed with a fork-- about 15-20 minutes. Strain the potatoes and transfer to a mixing bowl. Add your butter, half and half, lemon zest, chives, salt and pepper. Now it's time to get down and dirty with your potato masher-- totally fine if there are some light chunks and pieces of potato peel, we're not trying to be upper class here. Season with additional salt and pepper, to taste. Serve with a twisty flourish, topped with extra chives and a melty pat of butter.
Mambo Lift
Yield:
2
Prep Time:
30 minutes
Cook Time:
2 minutes
Total Time:
32 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
I Carried a Watermelon
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Total Time:
10 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Peace Corps Pot Roast with Baby Vegetables
Prep Time:
3 minutes
Cook Time:
3 hours
Total Time:
3 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
I Can Mash Potato, AND Do the Twist
Ingredients
Instructions
I miss Patrick Swayze :(. You can donate here to help improve the lives of pancreatic cancer– because fuck cancer.
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I could spend days talking about Everything Everywhere All At Once. I can’t remember the last time I saw a film this original, while still being relatable and intensely relevant. A24, you did so good. Everything Everywhere follows Evelyn Wang (Michelle Yeoh, brilliant), a disgruntled …
Better Off Dead is one of those 80’s movies that a number of people don’t get. It’s surreal, fantastical, slapstick-y, absurd, and yes, there is a claymation hamburger that sings along with Van Halen. It’s f*cking funny you guys. Better Off Dead focuses on Lane …
Little Miss Sunshine is one of those films that you’re thrilled exists– a wonderful family dramedy that is so well written and so well acted that it leaves you with hope for the film industry.
The movie opens with a relatively dark montage. Mom Sheryl (Toni Collette) picks up her brother Frank (Steve Carrell) from the hospital after an attempted suicide, while her husband Richard (Greg Kinnear) pushes some kind of self-help pyramid scheme to a half empty room of hopefuls, and her father in law (Alan Arkin) snorts heroin in the bathroom at home. Meanwhile kids Olive (Abigail Breslin) and Dwayne (Paul Dano) are in their own little worlds dreaming about making it big, each in their own way– Olive fawns over the beauty queens on TV, and Dwayne refuses to speak until he gets into flight school. Also he hates everybody.
When Olive finds out she’s made the cut as a Little Miss Sunshine contestant, however, the family’s weekend plans change. Time to crank up the old VW van for a 700 mile road trip inevitably fraught with all sorts of mishaps and character defining moments! Not to mention a stellar soundtrack featuring my fave Sufjan Stevens. Play me Chicago on a loop all day long and I’ll be happy. And generally, that’s how Little Miss Sunshine leaves me– happy, and very aware of the virtues of nonconformity. As Dwayne finally says, “you do what you love, and fuck the rest”.
Food is actually pretty important in Little Miss Sunshine– in addition to helping convey the obvious messages about body image, meals set the stage for several key interactions between Hoover family members. So, I’ve picked a few of the foods from the film, adjusted them a bit, and mashed them all together in one sunny brunchy meal. Hopefully it will leave you as satisfied as the movie.
Just like Olive, this mimosa-esque cocktail is full of passion and sunshine. More importantly, it goes really well with waffles. Mix all ingredients and garnish with an orange wheel. Feel free to multiply as you see fit! What can I say, the bucket of Dinah's southern fried chicken caught my eye-- a delicious fast food-y treat that also serves as a wonderful culinary accompaniment to the dominant emotion at the Hoover dinner table. Fear of failure seems to affect everyone but Grandpa-- no wonder he fucking hates the chicken. But also, fuck-- it's really good. Start by quick brining the chicken pieces: pour buttermilk, hot sauce, and 1/2 tsp of the garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, black pepper; 2 tsp of the paprika and 1 tbsp salt into a gallon sized ziploc. Add chicken to buttermilk brine, and refrigerate for 3-4 hours. Lift chicken piece by piece from buttermilk and dredge in flour mix, packing tightly to form large clumps of flour coating each piece. Allow to sit on a baking rack set atop a foil lined baking sheet for 5-10 mins while you set up your frying sitch. First, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Then, fill a 12-inch cast iron skillet with enough oil and your bacon grease to come halfway to the top. Using a candy/clipon thermometer, raise the temp to medium high and get the oil up to 350 degrees. Add chicken, skin side down, to the hot oil. Note, the temperature will drop to around 325 degrees-- you want to keep the oil steady at this temp. Fry until you get a deep golden brown on the first side, about 6 minutes; then flip the chicken pieces with tongs and cook until the second side is golden brown, about 4 minutes longer. Your breast will take a couple of minutes longer, since its a far bigger cut. If you happen to have a whole chicken that you aren't sure how to break down, Serious Eats has you covered. And, if you have more questions about frying chicken-- here is a VERY good article listing all the things you SHOULDN'T do. Waffles are a light and fluffy necessity when it comes to brunch. This particular batch is made with olive oil-- for obvious Little Miss Sunshine reasons. Waffle assembly is all about mixing dry ingredents and wet ingredients separately before putting the batter together. Start with the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in on medium bowl. In a second bowl, whisk eggs with milk, oil, and vanilla until combined. Add milk mixture to your dry ingredients and stir-- lumpies are ok! Pour batter into preheated waffle iron-- depending on size you'll need to follow instructions but my waffle iron takes about 1/2 a cup at a time. Cook for about 2 minutes (but again, refer to your iron instructions) until waffles are golden brown. Set aside on a parchment paper lined baking sheet, NOT one atop the other or they'll get too soft. Serve immediately, or otherwise cover loosely with foil until ready to top with all the fixin's. A salty sweet treat for a salty set of characters to complete our Little Miss Sunshine brunch-- and one that I'm 100% positive all the Miss cities/states/countries/universes would appreciate. I know Olive ordered chocolate, but if she'd only known... First, add the syrup to a medium saucepan and place it over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to medium, and continue boiling for about 3 to 4 minutes, or until it has reduced to about half a cup. Add cream, milk, and salt and bring back to a boil. Remove from heat. In a separate bowl, whisk egg yolks, and then pour 1/4 of your milk mixture slowly into your egg mixture, whisking all the time-- this will keep your eggs from going scramby. Add the egg mix to the rest of the heated cream and whisk vigorously over low heat. Add vanilla, and continue to whisk until the cream thickens so that the below happens: Pour over a mesh strainer into another bowl to get all the solids out: Chill mixture in the refrigerator, about 2 hours and then add to your ice cream device. Churn according to instructions, and refreeze as needed. And holy hell, it's better than heroin. Not that I know what heroin is like. But I'm confident that grandpa would've enjoyed it. Sweet sweetness!
Liquid Sunshine
Yield:
1 cocktail
Cook Time:
2 minutes
Total Time:
2 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
It's the F*cking Chicken
Yield:
2 Servings
Prep Time:
3 hours
Total Time:
3 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Just before frying, whisk together flour and the rest of the spices (those + amounts in the ingredients list). Drizzle 3 tablespoons of buttermilk brine into the flour and gently toss-- clumpies are ok. 
Move chicken back to your wire racked baking sheet and place in the oven. Bake for 15-ish minutes until the breast hits about 150 degrees at its thickest part and the other pieces get to 165. Allow to rest for another 5-10 minutes before chowing down.
Notes
Olive Oil Waffles
Ingredients
Instructions
Salted Maple Ice Cream A La Mode-y
Yield:
1 Pint
Ingredients
Instructions
Abigail Breslin’s eyeballs should have won a fucking Oscar. Seriously, LOOK AT HER!
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It’s like. Duh. One of the best 90’s movies EVER. It’s also way smarter than you might think. Starring Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow, Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion is a comedic alternative to Thelma & Louise and a wonderfully lighthearted balm for anyone (and …
This past weekend was my oldest friend’s birthday. Coincidentally, he’s also the person who helped me start this blog. So I figured what better way to celebrate him than to attempt (for the fourth or fifth time) a menu perfectly matched to his favorite movie: …
You’ve never seen it miss this house, and miss that house, and come after you! That’s right, it’s… DUN DUN DUUUUUNH… TWISTER!
But actually, other than that one line, this movie is a wonderfully suspenseful thriller– I would even say it’s one of the top natural disaster movies ever. When Twister was released in ’96, its PG-13 rating was awesomely clarified by the film’s “intense depiction of very bad weather.” FAIR ENOUGH– myself included, many a 13 and older movie goer became fascinated with the occupation “storm chaser” after watching this badass movie. Twister made NOAA and NSSL super cool, and paved the way for big budget disaster flicks like Armageddon and Day After Tomorrow. It’s the wonder of nature, baby!
Yes, we mostly have Speed director Jan de Bont and Amblin to thank for Twister. But I have to give an F5 shoutout to the stellar cast led by Helen Hunt and the late Bill Paxton. In addition to the nice little side love story between these two main characters (Do we believe it? Do we even care that much? SHOW ME MORE TORNADOS), you also have a tornado chasing team of recognizable faces including antagonist Cary Elwes and sidekick Phillip Seymour Hoffman– who is basically just being Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Dusty with Goo Goo Dolls playing in the background. I’ll take it.
Together, these maniacs track down and almost (or in some cases not almost) get sucked up by multiple twisters of varying magnitudes– they dodge exploding trucks, air borne houses, and bovine debris all within a very anxious 48 hour period. And I would pay good money to see Twister on big screen again, because the special effects still hold up after 25 years.
So, for this awesomely stressful flick I decided to pay homage to the one great heart attack inducing meal to appear in Twister– Aunt Meg’s steak and egg lunch. Add in the mashed potatoes and Meg’s famous gravy, and you have a Midwestern spread that will make you so heavy even a tornado couldn’t pick you up.
Time for fffffoooood!! FOOOOOD.
Apparently this one time, while naked and drunk on Jack Daniels, EXTREME storm chaser Bill Harding (/Paxton) strolled up to a twister, said "have a drink", and chucked the bottle into the twister. And it NEVER hit the ground. So here's a cocktail for the most outta control son of a bitch in the game-- a simple drink that may or may not cause imminent rueage should you have one too many. Use Pepsi in honor of the overwhelming product placement throughout the movie Twister, as well as a twist of lemon because... duh. Pour first three ingredients over ice and give it a single swirl-- top off with a twist of lemon and get ready to cheers a tornado. YOU'RE IN THE SUCK ZONE NOW. WE GOT COWS. Unlike Aunt Meg, I did NOT slaughter my own-- but this red meat + fried egg combo will satiate any storm chaser who craves sustenance before hitting the road. Sure, it may also give you a heart attack, but if you're likely to get sucked up by a twister you might as well eat good first, amiright? 30 mins before cooking, pat steaks dry with paper towels and season liberally with salt and freshly cracked pepper. Allow to rest at room temperature. Remove steak and cover your egg occupied pan to allow your whites to set-- the pan will still be hot enough for the eggs to cook in several minutes. In the meantime, tent your steak loosely with foil and allow to rest for 5 minutes, thereby allowing all those meaty juices Dusty loves to redistribute. When you are ready to eat, be sure to cut your steak against the grain-- serve alongside sunnyside up (the irony) eggs, sprinkled with more salt and pepper. For a thinner steak, reduce cooking time to 7 mins total for medium rare. You can't live in the Midwest, let alone Tornado Alley, without an affinity for potatoes. These are whipped, because that seemed more appropriate for Twister, and drowned in my version of Meg's gravy-- which is famous. It's practically a food group. Hey look, it's your gravy ingredients! In mini food processor, pulse carrot, celery, garlic and onion; pulse until all vegetables are broken down. Strain and add to a mixing bowl. Using electric beaters (we want these suckers whipped up like an F5 came at 'em), beat your potatoes with your warm milk, 1/2 tsp salt, and remaining 3 tbsps butter. Cover and keep warm while you finish up your gravy. Strain gravy through fine-mesh strainer into clean saucepan, discarding solids. Add more salt and pepper to taste, and serve atop your whipped 'tatoes. You can make your gravy up to a week in advance, refrigerated.
Jack and Pepsi with a Twist
Cook Time:
2 minutes
Total Time:
2 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Steak and Eggs
Prep Time:
30 minutes
Cook Time:
15 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Next, heat oil in a cast iron skillet over high heat. Add steak to pan and cook for five minutes. Flip, add 1 tbsp butter to the top of the steak, and continue to cook for four minutes more. Remove from heat, shove your steak over, and add final tbsp of butter followed by your eggs. Feel free to take a photo, but be quick-- you don't want your steak to overcook!
Notes
Recommended Products
Whipped 'Tatoes and Meg's Gravy
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
30 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Heat butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat; add vegetables and cook until caramelized, about 5 minutes. Stir in flour and cook until flour smell dissapates. Whisking constantly, gradually add broths; bring to boil, then reduce heat to low. Add herbs (and whiskey, if you dare) and continue to simmer, whisking occasionally, until thickened (about 25 minutes).
While your gravy simmers away, peel and cube your potatoes into 1 inch chunks. Add to a salted pot of water and set over high heat. Bring to a boil, and cook until potatoes are softened (about 15 minutes). 
Notes
Yet another talent gone too early– RIP Bill Paxton, and Happy Birthday on this May 17th. I’d heard that when he passed, meteorologists across Kansas and Oklahoma modified their GPS locations to form the actor’s initials:
And that’s neat :).
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