Fantastic Mr. Fox

Instructions

Here is (almost) eveything you need-- we'll sneak in the allspice berries later.

Add whiskey, cider, caramel, and 1 stick cinnamon to a saucepan. Bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer, and add allspice berries-- I like a fair amount of spice, so I added three, but you can reduce if you are spice sensitive.

Simmer for two hours-- the liquid should reduce a fair amount. In the meantime, if you're feeling Ash-level ambitious, remove the tops of your apples and carve out the interior. And if you're feeling Kristofferson-level skilled, use a sharp knife to carve shallow stars out into the apple peels-- fill with edible gold glitter and you have a fair imitation of Bean's specially engineered apples.

When cider is ready, pour into apples and add an extra cinnamon stick for looks-- and feel free to add a bit more whiskey if you can handle it.

Instructions

Roast chicken is actually a relatively easy thing to execute once you have the basics down-- the most important being a balance of crispy crust and juicy flesh. Note, most of the same rules can be applied to poultry of any size (be it hen or turkey), with only a few modifications.

To start, preheat your oven to 400 and butter a 9x13 baking dish. Remove your chicken from whatever bag it came in, take out any of the giblets that might have been left inside, and pat the bird dry. NEVER rinse your chicken in water. Doing so just spreads bacteria.

Place your chicken in the baking dish and tuck the wings underneath the body-- this will prevent them from burning. It might take a little umph. A visual how-to is below:

Once this has been accompished, it's time to gently loosen the skin to make room for what will be your herb butter. Starting at the cavity, gently slide your fingers under the skin and slide on up-- don't use much force at all, or the skin will tear. Another visual below!

Mix remaining butter with half of your parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme-- the four best poultry seasonings. Spread this butter both under and over the chicken skin for maximum baked crispiness. Top off with salt and pepper, and sprinkle both also inside the cavity of the chicken.

Next, stuff the cavity with aromatics-- your garlic, lemon, and celery.

Using kitchen twine, tie the drumsticks together.

Now, when roasting a turkey, you might have seen people putting said poultry on a rack. Since chickens are smaller, it might be hard to find a rack of appropriate size. So, my cheat is to bunch up some aluminum foil and place underneat the top and bottom ends of the chicken. See below:

A final visual for ya below, because any good masterplan has tons of those. If you have a meat thermometer (see my recommendation in the products field), here's where you stick that sucker in:

Right at the thickest part of the thigh, but adjust if you hit bone.

Note-- you see I've scattered some colorful food items around the chicken for roasting. If you've reached this point of the recipe, you might want to pause, skip down to my Roasted Root Veggies ingredients, and return. Otherwise, you can bake as is.

Speaking of, now it's time to roast your banquet chicken! Place bird-filled pan onto the middle rack of your preheated oven and cook for 55-60 minutes until the internal temperature reads 165 (about 1 human hour, and 0.00002055 fox hours). Remove from oven, and allow to sit for at least 10 minutes before cutting to allow the juices to redistribute.

When you're ready to carve your bird, here's what you do, in pictures-- starting with the breast (slicing vertically along the spine, and then at the base of the breast perpindicularly).

Continue with the drumsticks, locating the joint first with your knife and then separating with a bit of force. Do all of this in the same baking pan to be sure you don't lose any of those critical juices/future gravy.

For the rest of the chicken, you can just yank that meat off like a wild animal, reserving the bones for gnawing later (or broth, I suppose). Set your meats aside and cover, keeping warm while you make your apple cider gravy.

Dump all your reserved juices into a small pan, together with cider and remaining parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. Bring to a boil, and add brandy. Simmer for about five minutes. Whisking constantly to avoid lumpies, add flour-- cook for another minute until thickened, and season with salt and pepper to taste.

To serve your glorious and victorious banquet bird, pair with a side (ahem, roasted root veggies), and drizzle with apple cider gravy. And remember, be thankful, and watch out for rats.

Instructions

Preheat your oven (if you haven't already) to 400. Roughly chop your veggies into chunks, about 1 inch rustic, angular cubes. There should be a heaping cup each-- but this doesn't have to be perfect. We're all wild animals, after all. Toss with olive oil, herbs, and salt and pepper.

Roast on a foil or sil pat lined baking sheet, or better yet around a banquet chicken, for roughly 1 hr until just tender and crispy.

Instructions

Let's begin with your donut dough.

Heat the milk until it is just warm (not hot). Whisk in the yeast and sugar, and allow to rest for 5 minutes to allow yeast to activate—you’ll notice the mix will become frothy on top.

Next, whisk in eggs, vanilla, butter and salt. Add half of the flour, and mix until combined, then mix in the rest of the flour until the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl. Add more flour, about 2 tablespoons at a time, if the dough is too wet.

If you’re using an electric mixer, the dough will probably become too thick to beat; when it does, transfer it to a floured surface, and gently knead it until smooth.

Grease a large bowl with a little oil. Transfer the dough to the bowl, and cover. Let rise at room temperature until it doubles in size, about 1 ½ to 2 hours.

Time to make your liver mousse!

Soak liver in ¼ cup cream for at least 20 mins. This will help rid of the metallic, "liver", taste that turns some people off.

In a small saute pan over low heat, melt the butter and cook onion, apple, and thyme, covered, until apples soften. Remove lid and increase heat to medium add the livers and cook until firm and still pink inside, about 3-4 mins.

Remove from the heat and allow to cool. puree in a food processor with cream, cream cheese, and brandy; add more salt, to taste. Chill, covered.

Back to your donuts. Turn the dough out onto a well-floured surface, and roll it to 1/3-inch thickness. Cut out the doughnuts with a doughnut cutter, concentric cookie cutters or a drinking glass, flouring the cutters as you go. Each donut should be about 3 inches in diameter.

Put the doughnuts on a floured baking sheet so that there is plenty of room between each one. Cover with a kitchen towel, and let rise in a warm place until they are slightly puffed up and delicate, about 30 minutes.

About 15 minutes before the doughnuts are done rising, put the oil in a heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium heat, and heat it to 325. Meanwhile, line cooling racks, baking sheets or plates with paper towels.

Carefully add the doughnuts to the oil, one at a time. If they’re too delicate to pick up with your fingers, use a metal spatula to pick them up and slide them into the oil.

When the bottoms are deep golden, after roughly a minute, use a slotted spoon to flip; cook until they’re deep golden all over.

Transfer the doughnuts to the prepared plates or racks, and repeat with the rest of the dough, adjusting the heat as needed to keep the oil at 325. Set aside to cool.

Once fully cooled (about 15 mins), you can "pipe" in your liver mousse. My cheat here is to use a legit piping tip but forgo the piping bag in favor of a ziploc with the corner cut off. Cause I'm scrappy.

Using a knife, poke a deep hole into the side of a donut with a knife, and shove your piping tip, bag full of liver mousse, into the hole. Push your mousse through, about a 1 tbsp per donut-- you'll see the body of the donut rise as the volume inside increases, but you don't want it to swell to a breaking point. Once piped full, set aside while you make your apple cider glaze.

Bring the cider to a boil over medium heat, reduce heat to low, and simmer for 10 minutes or until reduced by half. Stir in the butter, cinnamon, salt, and powdered sugar until well combined.

Bring to a boil to further thicken and allow to cool for 10 mins before dunking donuts.

If desired, sprinkle with a bit more powdered sugar on top for looks.