Recipes for foodies and film nerds. Because life's too short for stale popcorn and crappy movies.
It’s almost Christmas as I write this, so Love Actually is, actually, all around. Thankfully, it’s a delightful movie full of relatable characters (except Kyra Knightly, who always sucks) and poignant moments that still make me ugly happy cry 20 yrs later. I have to …
“With the coming of the Second World War, many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas. Lisbon became the great embarkation point. But, not everybody could get to Lisbon directly, and so a tortuous, roundabout refugee trail sprang …
I honestly think I’ve seen Jim Henson’s Labyrinth fifty times (a lucky benefit of a previous Day Job). I’ve mentioned in earlier posts that I’m a huge sucker for 1980’s fantasy, and while this is not my FAVORITE of the genre, it’s definitely up there. I can also testify with first person, real world examples that I’m not the only fan of Labyrinth– just google “Labyrinth Ball” and you’ll see what I mean.
If you are not at all familiar with Labyrinth, you are in for a fantastical, trippy, hilarious, disturbing, musically rich, puppet filled ride. Passionately imaginative young Sarah (played by a very sophisticated 14 yr old Jennifer Connelly) is pissed that her infant brother Toby exists and acts like a baby. Left to take care of him while her father and stepmother spend their evening out (pretty clear daddy issues early on), Sarah wishes, after a couple of flubs, for baby Toby to be stolen away by the Goblin King. Little does she know that the Goblin King Jareth (drumroll for David Bowie) is listening. Sarah spends the remainder of the film navigating through a glittery labyrinth filled with puppet friends and foes in order to reach Jareth’s castle and rescue her aerodynamic (you’ll see what I mean) little brother.
Fair warning, Henson and his creative cohorts (notably Monty Python’s Terry Jones) do not patronize their viewers– characters, creatures, sets and dialogue are mature and even dark at times. Who knew fairies bite? But this is what makes Labyrinth so wonderful. Henson acknowledges that growing up can be deceptive and terrifying, and does so while maintaining the same wit and innovation that fueled The Muppet Show and The Dark Crystal. Because of this, you’ll find that general audiences enjoy Labyrinth just as much as kids and (we’re a group unto ourselves) millennial fantasy nerds.
But let’s face it, older audiences also love David Bowie. Because who doesn’t. The hair, the feathers, the tights, the … glass balls, the songs– many consider Bowie’s contributions to the Labyrinth soundtrack to be a significant part of his legacy. One need only listen to the lyric “It’s only forever, not long at all,” to hear that Bowie, like Henson, perfectly understood the telescoping contradictions of childhood. Very few other talents could have walked the line between mysterious and disturbing so successfully, and on what would have been his 75th birthday today (January 8, 2022), I hope David Bowie is Magic Dancing his way up/down/sideways through a goblin castle. In space.
There are about a million other pieces of trivia I could include here, but you can find most if not all of it in The Jim Henson Company’s Red Book (compiled by the amazing archival team at that company). In the meantime, let’s get to the below– a meal inspired by the adventures of Sarah, Jareth, Hoggle, Didymus, Ambrrrrocious, and Ludo that I hope you find delicious, whimsical, and amusing. C’mon feet.
PS, look closely at this post’s header photo. There might be a hidden Bowie face in there…
A spiced tea drink that pays homage to my favorite Labyrinth creatures-- the 'Allo Worm and the (super creepy) Fireys! It's both comforting enough for an indoor drink with the missus and strong enough to make you lose your head. When your thing gets wild, chilly down, chilly down! Start with the spiced orange syrup-- in a small saucepan, combine all the ingredients designated and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until all of the sugar has dissolved and the syrup slightly thickened. Allow to come to room temperature, and strain out the solids. Chill until ready to use. For the cocktail, combine the syrup with bourbon, tea and bitters. Add ice balls and garnish with a slice of orange. A delightfully odorific soup for brave souls in need of a Labyrinth starter. Feel free to suspend yourself, head first, over the bowl-- the lovely scents of truffle and gruyere will never wash off mmmmmm. Hey look it's a bunch of kinda smelly ingredients! Start off by turning your onions into a nummy gooey fragrant mess. Melt your butter in a medium pot over medium heat. Add the onions, salt and pepper and cook until the onions are very soft and caramelized, about 25 minutes. Add the mushrooms and garlic, and sautee until mushrooms are softened. Toss with flour and allow to coat the vegetables until the flour smell disappates, about a minute. Next, add the brandy and simmer for another 30 seconds. Add bay leaf, thyme, the beef broth, and fish sauce and bring your soup back to a simmer. Cook for about 45 minutes until about 1/4 is reduced. Season, to taste, with salt and pepper. When you're ready to eat, preheat the broiler. Arrange your croutons on a baking sheet in a single layer. Sprinkle the slices with the Gruyere and broil until bubbly and golden brown, about 2 minutes. Ladle the soup in bowls and float several of the Gruyere croutons on top-- rocks, frieeeends. Add shaved truffle, to garnish. Ok Ok so Chicken a la Goblin King is a little punny-- but there are a LOT of chickens in Labyrinth! No joke, it's a thing, there is even a facebook group. I added a few flourishes for Jareth (forbidden rice and ahem chicken THIGHS, ahem) and brother Toby (baby veggies) and you've got a main course fit for a Goblin City banquet. Now sing it with me-- you remind me of the babe (what babe?) the babe with the power (what power?) the power of voodoo (who do?) you do (do what?) remind me of the babe! Preheat your oven to 425. Pat your chicken thighs dry with paper towels, rub about a tbsp of olive oil into the skin, and season with salt and pepper. Heat another tbsp of olive in a cast iron skillet and set over medium high/high heat. Once the oil is hot, add the chicken thighs, skin down, to the pan and sear for about three minutes until the skin browns. Flip the thighs and cook for two more minutes. In the meantime, toss your carrots and onions with remaining olive oil, thyme, and some salt and pepper. Add to the heated cast iron skillet with the chicken and move the pan to the oven. Roast for about 30 minutes (chicken thighs are done at about 165 degrees, if you have a meat thermometer handy). Remove your cast iron from the oven and shift the poultry to another plate. Place pan back over high heat and brown your mostly cooked veggies, throwing your peas as well-- remove to the same plate as the chicken. You should still have a fair amount of rendered fat in the pan-- Pour all but about 2 tbsps away, and add butter to the pan and place on medium heat. When the butter is melted, add the flour to make a roux-- stir until you get a wet sand consistency. You'll know it's finished cooking when the flour smell disappates and you are left with a buttery popcorn aroma. Add the half and half, onion powder, mustard and pimentos, whisking until fully incorporated. To serve, add black rice to a plate or shallow bowl, and top with browned veggies and chicken. Top with A la Goblin King sauce and some freshly chopped parsley. Consume until there's nothing left-- nothing? Nothing? NOTHING? Nothing, tra la la? I rarely put instructions for cooking rice in recipes since different brands might have different ways of preparing it. Just follow the instructions on the package, with one consistent variation-- instead of water, I always use chicken or vegetable broth and a pinch of salt. Adds more flavor. So, the Labyrinth is a piece of cake, is it? Well, let's see how you deal with this little slice... These Escher-esque confections are seriously, seriously good. BEWARE BEWARE, however-- one bite may cause Ba-baba-BOOM! Certain DEATH! Just kidding, but there might be hallucinations in which you are courted by a very age-inappropriate rock star who spins you around in a ball gown whilst surrounded by creepy people in Eyes Wide Shut masks. It's worth it tho. First, preheat your oven to 350 degrees and grease the inner walls of six cupcake tins. Slice peaches about 1/4 inch thick-- a little thicker is ok, and if you're using frozen peaches, cut while still a LITTLE frozen. Sift dry ingredients (1-5 in the above list) together in a medium bowl. Add shortening, peach nectar, milk, vanilla, and zest and beat with a hand mixer for about 2 minutes. Add the egg last, and beat for 2 minutes longer. Set batter aside briefly while you prep your cake "topping". Melt your butter and pour, still hot and 1/2 tbsp at a time, into the bottom of your six cupcake tins. Sprinkle the brown sugar evenly over your melted butter, also 1/2 tbsp per tin, stirring and shifting gently to ensure even coverage. Next, arrange your peach slices 3 to a tin in a slight spiral pattern. Any gaps should be small. Pour batter over fruit carefully, so that you do not displace any of the peach slices-- spread gently smooth. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for 15 mins. Carefully invert over a cutting board or cake tray/plate, and lift the pan away from the cakes. You should be left with a beautiful caramelized fruit topping! Feel free to sprinkle with a bit of cinnamon, if you like a bit more spice. I think Jareth would approve. You can of course use regular vanilla. I just happen to have a fancy mother who makes her own infused vanillas, and I reap the benefits.
Chilly Down and have a Cuppa
Yield:
1 Cocktail
Ingredients
Instructions
Bog of Stench Soup
Yield:
2 Big Servings
Ingredients
Instructions
Chicken A La Goblin King with Baby Vegetables
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
45 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Upside Down Peach Cakes
Yield:
6 mini cakes
Cook Time:
45 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Labyrinth is evergreen and hilarious and so is Flight of the Conchords. This episode never. gets. old. Skip to 3:03 for the real good Goblin King stuff.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Little Miss Sunshine is one of those films that you’re thrilled exists– a wonderful family dramedy that is so well written and so well acted that it leaves you with hope for the film industry. The movie opens with a relatively dark montage. Mom Sheryl …
This past weekend was the 40th anniversary of the beginning of the Indiana Jones trilogy, Raiders of the Lost Ark! (We do not acknowledge any subsequent Indy productions on this blog– they are blasphemous and shameful.) I have too many thoughts on this, one of …
If you are reading this at the beginning of April– here is a not-so-traditional movie menu for Easter! At first you may not think Monty Python and the Holy Grail fits the spring holiday vibe, but think again. You’ve got religion (God be praised!), gatherings of friends and family (with routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable), and not one but TWO rabbit appearances (the second with NASTY, POINTY TEETH).
So everyone else can keep their deviled eggs and insipid peeps. I’m happy with dismembered chicken, thank you very much!
Is Monty Python and The Holy Grail the funniest movie ever made? I honestly think it might be. Co-directed by the two Terry’s (Gilliam and Jones) in 1975, it is the Monty Python troupe’s first real journey to the cinema after years of sketch comedy for television. The story is of course focused on King Arthur and his legendary quest for the Holy Grail, and makes amazing use of historical and cinematic source material for medieval gags. Together with his following of incompetent/irrationally violent/not so brave Round Table knights, King Arthur must contend with snobbish French aristocrats with out-RAGEOUS accents, irritable peasants with too firm a grasp on economics, sorcerers, monsters, and the British police. The Dark Ages were a bitch.
I cannot say how many times my brother and I annoyed my parents with “he’s going to tell, he’s going to tell, he’s going to tell, he’s going to tell” , or walked slowly around our house singing some garbled version of “pie iesu domine, dona eis requim” and smashing our heads with books. But I’m sure this is exactly the type of lunacy Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, and the two Terry’s would have appreciated. Perhaps Life of Brian would’ve been more thematically appropriate for Easter, but after all– no bunnies.
OK, let’s GET ON WITH IT. “And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chu–” Skip it. I did not make those things. But I did make other delicious things you could eat for lunch OR dinner. Please do enjoy, together with a side stitch-inducing screening of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Special thanks goes to Moose trainer Yutte Hermsgervørdenbrøtbørda as well as “Ralph” the Wonder Llama.
YOU'RE MOTHER WAS A HAMPSTER, AND YOU'RE FATHER SMELT.. OF ELDERBERRIES! Who knew Elderberry syrup was widely available online, and good for your immune system to boot? Mix your first four ingredients-- top off with chilled gin and champagne (if you're a wicked, bad, naughty Zoot) OR club soda (you're such a Galahad, you prude). No I didn't cook real rabbit-- I'm not a monster aaaaaaaaaagh. But trust me when I say that this Scottish version of rarebit (the historical poor man's rabbit in the UK) is a scrummy alternative. It's basically cheese on toast with a BITE (get it?). Now for the recipe. Follow! BUT-- follow only if ye be men of valor! Begin with a roux-- melt butter in a sauce pan over medium heat until foaming, then add flour. Stir and allow to cook for a minute or two, until the smell of flour fades and you have a popcorn-smelling wet sand texture. Add your remaining ingredients (except the bread, you silly K-nig-hts), and stir over medium-low heat until melted. Keep your cheese mixture warm while you lightly toast your bread. Pour cheese sauce over bread and summon fire without flint or tinder-- ie toast the cheese with a blow torch or under a broiler. To avoid burning the toast, I suggest counting to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. And now, brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth... RUN AWAAAAAY! It's clearly not just a flesh wound... This is a fool proof recipe inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight-- a spatchcocked, blackened, and dismembered chicken with a bloody delicious sauce. If you want to be extra on-the-nose, I recommend starting with the wings before moving on to the legs. Spatchcocking a chicken is actually super easy. First, remove the giblets and set aside-- these will help flavor your sauce. Next, pat the bird dry with paper towels and place on a large cutting board, breast side down. Using sharp kitchen scissors, remove backbone by cutting along either side of it. Reserve the spine along with the giblets. Cut a slit at the base of the neck to encourage the flattening process. Nevermind that the underside of the chicken looks like the incubator horseshoe crab monster from Alien-- that is another movie entirely and we don't have any time for non-Monty Python allusions. Turn chicken over and lay out flat. Press firmly the breast with the palm of your hand to flatten the bird. Mix 1 tsp paprika, brown sugar, oregano, salt and pepper, and sprinkle 1/3 on the now underside of the chicken, and 2/3 on the breast side. Refrigerate, uncovered, for 2 hours. About an hour before you are ready to eat, take your chicken out of the fridge and allow to sit at room temperature for about ten minutes. Next, heat your grill for 5 minutes on high. Clean and oil your grilling grate-- you don't want other nasty food bits sticking to your chicken. Reduce the back burner to medium low heat, and reduce front to medium high. Place chicken, breast side up, on cooler side of grill, with legs facing toward hotter side. Cover the grill and cook until an instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of breast registers 110F (about 35 minutes). While chicken is grilling, make your sauce. Melt butter in a sauce pan with flour for another, loose roux. Add liquids, giblets and spine, onion powder and 1 tbsp paprika and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and allow to simmer until slightly thickened. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Now, back to your chicken. After you've reached your 110 degrees, flip your bird and place on hotter side of grill, skin side down, with breasts pointed toward cooler side. Press down firmly with a wide, stiff spatula to ensure good contact between bird and grill grates. Cover and cook until skin is crisp and an instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of breast registers 160°F, about 10 minutes longer. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. A shrubbery for the Knights who saaaaay... NI! One that looks nice. And not too expensive. And a path running down the middle. And a vinaigrette made wiiiiith... A HERRING! You might think that herring in a vinaigrette sounds cringe worthy, aka Ekki-ekki-ekki-ekki-PTANG, Zoom-Boing, z'nourrwringmm. But it's NOT. It works very similarly to an anchovy in a salad dressing, and you can dial it up or down based on preference. So, start by mashing your herring filet into a paste-- I ended up with a heaping tsp, which was just enough for a hint of brine. Combine with vinegar, lemon juice, capers, salt and pepper. Whisk in olive oil, until emulsified, and add more salt and pepper to taste. Set aside. Now for your shrubbery assembly-- pile your greens high on both sides of a path (a path! a path!) of radish and cucumber slices, and drizzle with vinaigrette. A lovely little salad worthy of Roger, the shrubber. It's very easy-- oh no! I said it! oh no I said it again! If you really don't like/don't feel like buying herring, feel free to use my french vinaigrette recipe-- simple and delicious.
Elderberry Fizz
Yield:
2 Cocktails
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Scottish Rarebit
Yield:
2 Servings
Prep Time:
10 minutes
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Dismembered Chicken
Prep Time:
2 hours
Cook Time:
45 minutes
Additional Time:
15 minutes
Total Time:
3 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Transfer chicken to a cutting board and allow to rest, uncovered, for 10-15 minutes. Hack into pieces and serve with strained sauce.
A Shrubbery!
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Total Time:
10 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Huzzah! A solution for the put upon 5oz swallow (African or otherwise) tasked with carrying a 1lb coconut from tropical climes. Gone are the days when we ask our avian friends to simply "grip it by the husk!" Introducing this coconut cookie, a tasty treat from Nigeria light enough for birds of (almost all) air speed velocities.
Preheat the oven to 350F. Mix together the coconut, sugar and egg yolks to form a stiff, dough-like consistency.
Take a little of the mixture and squeeze into balls about 1 inch in diameter. Coat with additional flour and arrange on a baking tray.
Bake for 15 minutes until golden in color, and serve inside coconut halves if you're fancy and only once you've finished playing horsie with them.
Splitting a coconut is surprisingly simple-- use a hammer to pierce the "eyes" and let the juice out, then hit the coconut with the hammer in a full rotation around the middle. A hairline crack will appear and then widen.
Undoubtedly there will be a Two Crumbs Up Monty Python and the Holy Grail Part 2. I really want to make some watery tarts. And a giant Trojan rabbit. But the above will do for now.
In the meantime, I’m now rewatching Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the fifth time in two days. This scene is still making me cackle:
UPDATE: The team at Monty Python just posted all of the above recipes on their official website. I’m floored. You can check them out here.
If you’re anywhere in my vicinity today, watch out– I’ll be doing a silly walk out of pure joy.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
If you happen to be reading this post around Thanksgiving time, you’re in for a treat. Fantastic Mr. Fox just happens to be a wonderful stop-motion-puppety TDay movie– from the familial themes, to the color scheme, and ESPECIALLY the food. Anyone familiar with Roald Dahl, …