Rosemary’s Baby
Every time I watch Rosemary’s Baby, I forget how furious it makes me. Sure, it’s scary and all, but the truly horrifying amount of gaslighting perpetrated against Rosemary evokes mostly feminine RAGE. If you haven’t seen the film, read on.
Rosemary’s Baby follows a young couple– housewife Rosemary (Mia Farrow) and unsuccessful actor Guy (John Cassavetes)– as they move into an NYC apartment that is suspiciously affordable. They befriend their elderly neighbors the Castevets, who are nosy and obnoxious but seemingly harmless. Unfortunately for Rosemary, that assessment couldn’t be farther off the mark– they’re actually witches, all of them witches! And they’re hell bent (see what I did there?) on impregnating Rosemary with Satan’s spawn. What ensues is a disturbing drugged up rape scene, horrible treatment of Rosemary by her husband and doctors, and a frightening reduction in Mia Farrow’s BMI.
When it was released in 1968, Rosemary’s Baby was a critically acclaimed success. But, it was also one of those horror films rumored to be “cursed”. Whether or not the narrative and/or performances (Ruth Gordon, A+) actually garnered the attention of unholy beings is unclear, but plenty of directors have taken the risk of using it as inspiration for more modern day works (Get Out being a terrific example). And with good reason– it’s eerie, disturbing, and the ending leaves you feeling emotionally eff’d up for days. Just the right kind of movie for a more tame and intellectually stimulating Halloween eve.
There’s actually a fair amount of food scenes in Rosemary’s Baby– but the one that sticks out in my mind is dinner at the Castevets’. So here is a slightly more appetizing version of that, sans any potions or trippy herbs, that also happens to be super easy to put together.
To 1966! The year One.
The Movie
The Menu
A devilishly strong riff on a cosmopolitan characterized by underwordly pomegranate. Just don't spill any on the carpet, Minnie will kill you. Mix all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and over pour into champagne coups. Note, I drank half of mine before taking the above photo. Forgo the raw livers please and opt instead for a better version of the Castavet's sirloin. Don't worry, it's still bloody. Blackening seasoning is very similar to cajun seasoning, give or take a couple of ingredients. Pat your steak dry with paper towels, and coat generously with spices on both sides. Heat butter and oil in a cast iron skillet on high. Add the steak to the pan and sear 5 minutes on one side, 4 minutes on the other. Remove from the pan and wrap in foil to rest, 10 minutes. Unwrap, and slice thickly against the grain. Do not consume if pregnant. Unless you are carrying the devil's spawn. Ok ok Rosemary's Baby Potatoes is a little punny, but what better way to please the asshole scumbag men in your life than to serve up potatoes with your meat? Preheat your oven to 425. Cut your baby potatoes in half, and toss with olive oil, salt, pepper, and rosemary. Place the baby potatoes cut side down on a cookie sheet-- this will ensure they will brown nicely. Bake for 30 minutes until potatoes are crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. Toss with a touch more olive oil and lemon zest, and serve with baby micro greens to double down on the pun AND pretend to be healthier. I'd join a cult for this mousse, it's that good. Gather your ingredients, keeping your sugar separate from your malted powder, cream of tartar and salt. In a small saucepan, heat (but don't boil!) cream and chocolate chips-- stir until fully incorporated, then remove from heat and set aside. Meanwhile, beat egg whites, kosher salt, malted milk powder, and cream of tartar with a hand mixer. When the egg whites begin to foam, slowly and steadily pour in the sugar. Continue to beat until meringue is glossy and reaches medium-stiff peaks-- this should take several minutes. Go back to your chocolate mix, which will have cooled a bit to warm. Whisk in your egg yolk until well combined. Add 1/3 of your chocolate mix to your meringue and fold very lightly with a rubber spatula, just to lighten the chocolate a bit. Add remaining chocolate and gently fold until meringue is incorporated-- but don't overmix! You want your mousse to be fluffy. Pour into serving bowls and chill, covered, for at least 3 hours. While you wait, feel free to whip up some stabalized whipped cream (recipe here, I just used my mom's bourbon vanilla instead of the regular stuff, and made sure to stabilize the mix with cornstarch to make piping easier). I could buy my soul back from Satan himself with this stuff, I swear.
Roman's Vodka Blush
Ingredients
Instructions
Blackened Steak, Blood Rare
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Instructions
Rosemary's Baby Potatoes
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Instructions
Minnie's Sinfully Delicious Chocolate Mousse
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Instructions
Epilogue
In case you’re still coping with a hangover post Halloween shenanigans, here’s a little bonus smoothie recipe to help you recover.
Resurrection Smoothie (Tannis root not included)
Ingredients
- 1 banana
- 1/2 cup apple
- 1/3 cup greek yogurt
- 1/8 tsp ginger
- 1 tsp honey
- 1/3 coconut water
- 1 tsp nigella seeds
- 1 tsp each of snips and snails and puppy dogs tails
Instructions
Combine the first six ingredients in a blender and puree until smooth. Add the last two ingredients and sip slowly while sunken into your couch.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!