The Mummy
Post Indiana Jones, 1999’s The Mummy might be one of the best adventure films made. If you feel compelled at any time to watch the sequel tho (or the crap retry with Tom Cruise), think again. But this one is aces. Set in 1920’s Egypt, …
Tag: blood orange
Indiana Jones And The Temple of Doom
Ok, so Temple of Doom isn’t the best of the Indiana Jones films, but it’s certainly not the worst. This assumes you even consider Crystal Skull to be part of the franchise, however; I myself am still pretending it was never made. Technically a PREQUEL …
Cool Runnings
I’m feeling very Olympic today! Partly because of the actual Olympics, but mostly because I’ve been watching Cool Runnings on repeat to prep this post. It’s been a great week :).
You probably already know that Cool Runnings was loosely based on actual events that took place at 1988 Winter Games in Calgary. Having missed the opportunity to compete in more “traditional” summer events, four athletes from Jamaica decided to train from scratch to be bobsledders. And, you have only to watch the footage shared by John Candy to understand exactly how dangerous and terrifying bobsledding really is. Of course, I’ve read that some liberties were taken with the plot, but hey, them’s the movies. The end result is, of course, a feel good film that has you cheering audibly for our five underdogs– and I’m counting Irving Blitzer (played by comedy legend John Candy, who died very soon after this film’s release) alongside our four hilariously courageous teammates Derice (Leon Robinson), Sanka (Doug E Doug), Yul (Malik Yoba), and Junior (Rawle D. Louis).
So, while you watch this movie and subsequent years’ Olympic events, give the below Cool Runnings themed menu a shot. As both the film and these recipes prove, some of the best things in life come from the combination of things that might initially be considered too “different”. Jamaican poutine? Who’da thunk it? But dammit it’s good.
Now say it with me– Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, its bobsled time! Cool Runnings!
The Movie
The Menu
Ah popsicles-- the perfect food to help the transition from hot to cold. Just ask Sanka, who spent at least some of the time training inside a popsicle truck freezing his royal Rastafarian nay-nays off. Good thing these tropical (an Olympian-level healthy) popsicles are chalk full of rum to help ward off the chills... and they look all Olympic torch flame-y! Each of the layers in this popsicle basically follow the same fruit juice to dairy/banana base ratio. Begin with the blood orange-- place about 1 1/2 tbsp of banana, 2 tbsp yogurt, 1/2 tsp of honey, and the blood orange juice into a mini blender or food processor. Blend thoroughly, then add rum, starting with 1 1/2 tbsp and add more if you can handle your liquor. Chill in the freezer as you move on to your other flavors-- same amounts of banana, yogurt, honey, and rum, with pineapple juice in the second batch, and passionfruit juice in the third. Chill until ready to layer. When ready, begin with the passionfruit mixture, followed by the pineapple, followed by the blood orange. Use a tbsp to carefully spoon your liquid into the molds, allowing 2 tbsp of each flavor per mold. Some bleeding through in the layers is fine-- this will make the popsicles look SUPER COOL. Place your popsicle molds in the freezer and freeze, at least four hours. Remove from the molds and enjoy! Peace Be The Journey... You can measure tbsp of banana against a stick of butter-- you'll want just over that stick for this 4-popsicle recipe. Holy shit this Jamaican riff on Canadian poutine is legitimately one of my best creations. If those sassy Winter Olympic judges had only tasted this BEFORE they treated the Cool Runnings team with such disdain, things would've gone very differently... Begin by gathering your ingredients, dredging your beef with 1 tbsp of flour. Heat 1 1/2 tbsp canola oil on medium high in a medium sized pot or dutch. Season beef with salt and pepper and add to the pot-- sear, without moving, for a minute or two until well browned. Flip, and do the same to the other side and edges. Transfer meat to a plate, and add onions and carrots to the pot-- reduce temperature to low and caramelize with an additional 1/2 tbsp oil, stirring to avoid burning. Add habeneros and garlic and cook for a minute more, adding a tbsp more of oil if needed. Add all remaining ingredients (excluding the butter, tubers, cheese curds) to the pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer covered, for about 1 1/2 hours. While the stew cooks, move on to your potatoes/plantains (the latter for Sanka's mama). Cut each into thick fries (at least 3/4 inch thick), and toss with remaining 1 tbsp oil. Toss with some salt & pepper and bake on a foil lined cookie sheet at 400 for 40 minutes. In a deep skillet or small sauce pan, melt the butter. Add the second tbsp of flour and stir to combine-- it'll begin to smell like popcorn! Pour in your meat juices and whisk. Bring to a boil and lower heat, simmering until the gravy is thickened. Season with salt and pepper. Pour gravy over the whole mess and garnish with green onion slivers and cilantro. And if you think you can't finish it all, just repeat after Yul-- I see PRIDE! I see POWER! I see a BADASS MOTHER who WON'T take no CRAP off of NOBODY! ... not exactly relevant when it comes to the food but it really does do wonders for self-esteem. If you're struggling to find oxtail, short ribs make a wonderful substition, with no changes to the recipe needed. Sanka you dead? If so, these spiced "lucky eggs" might bring you back to life. I mean, probably not but they do taste good enough for the best pushcart driver in all of Jamaica. In a medium bowl or ziploc bag, mix turmeric and 1 1/2 cups of water until turmeric is fully dissolved and the liquid is a thick golden yellow. Add peeled hard boiled eggs to the liquid and allow to soak, for at least 3 hours or up to overnight. Cut eggs in half and remove yolks-- place into a medium bowl with mayo, yogurt, mustard, curry, paprika, and cayenne-- mash until completely smooth (you can also puree in a mini food processor. Pipe filling back into egg halves -- refrigerate until ready to serve, sprinkled with bell pepper and parsley. Hardboiled eggs are easy-- bring salted water to a boil, add eggs, and cook for 10 minutes. Remove eggs and rinse under cold water. Peel or refrigerate. Also worth noting-- this recipe is for four eggs, but I always tend to make a fifth just in case one proves tricky when peeled. You can always use the yolk innards of your spare egg to beef up your filling for the other four!
Tropical (But healthy!) Rum-sicles
Yield:
4 Popsicles
Cook Time:
6 hours
Total Time:
6 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Jamaican Poutine
Cook Time:
2 hours
Total Time:
2 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Now for the gravy! When stew is done, remove meat and set aside-- discard the bay leaf. Using a gravy sivve (or fine mesh strainger, strain out the vegetables and separate the excess fat.
Time to assemble your poutine! Shred your oxtail into chunks and layer with baked potatoes and cheese curds. 
Notes
Lucky Eggs
Prep Time:
3 hours
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Total Time:
3 hours 10 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Epilogue
You guyyyyyys here’s a little news coverage of the 2022 JAMAICAN BOBSLED TEAM THEY’RE BACK! COOL RUNNINGS!!!!!
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
If you are reading this at the beginning of April– here is a not-so-traditional movie menu for Easter! At first you may not think Monty Python and the Holy Grail fits the spring holiday vibe, but think again. You’ve got religion (God be praised!), gatherings …
Practical Magic
If you imagined me spinning around my kitchen listening to Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchell while executing this Practical Magic menu, that vision would be 100% accurate. It would also not be an exaggeration to say that I’ve watched this movie at least 30 times. And that’s likely within the last decade. We’ve all had those movies we watch over and over with friends while talking about living in a big communal old house, all of us equally old biddies with too many cats, just like Aunts Fanny and Jet. And then of course with this particular film we all get so shitfaced on margaritas that we don’t even mind the somewhat mediocre ending because we’re scream singing “This Kiss” too loudly into the night to hear our own thoughts.
Or maybe that was just me.
In any event, you have to offer up praise to Practical Magic’s themes of sisterhood, and the acceptance of differences in oneself and in others. Witchy sisters Sally and Gillian Owens (played by Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman, respectively) both have their demons, and struggle as much with their inability to conform as with a colonial curse that seems to be plaguing their family. Childhood bullies become grown-up gossipers in their small New England town, and the struggle to achieve some sense of normalcy doesn’t really get easier for either sister until they learn to embrace the fact that normal isn’t really… normal. That was an invaluable message for me in high school when I first saw Practical Magic, and it still resonates today.
So here is a menu that you can cozy up to while watching Practical Magic– a cinematic mix of horror, romance, and female empowerment that was pretty uncommon for the 90’s. If nothing else, the movie will teach you to always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can. And also how to light a candle by blowing seductively on the wick.
The Movie
The Menu
You guys know the drill. Eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog... Adder's fork and blindworm's sting... Barbados lime is just the thing. Cragged salt like a sailor's stubble, Flip the switch and let the cauldron bubble! How convivial!!! Add lime juice, lemon juice, triple sec, tequila, and ice to a blender and process until fully slushed. Use a lime wedge to moisten the rim of two glasses, and dunk each rim into a plate of kosher salt. Pour your margs in, and commence with a circular dance around the nearest table. Note, these drinks are best served at midnight and never after consumption of belladonna (it's important to be peppy for all the dancing). I wish I could take credit for this most amazing margarita recipe, but I'm admitting here that I unabashadly stole it from Ina Garten, who I suspect is actually a (good) kitchen witch. This hearty soup features all three sisters ingredients-- squash and bean types native to New England, and a bit of corn starch to thicken the base. I like to think of this recipe as a celebration of Sally and Gilly's sisterhood, as well as their tie to their ancestor Maria (the first Owens witch). When the weather gets cold, this brew will keep any good witch warm-- and could possibly be used to send unwanted spirits back to the grave? But you would of course need a full coven for that. Melt butter in a medium sized pot over medium heat until foaming. Add onion and celery with a pinch of salt and pepper until caramelized, about 8 minutes, lowering heat if necessary to prevent burning. Add garlic, sage, and rosemary with a pinch each of salt and pepper and continue to cook for another two minutes until the mix smells lightly like Thanksgiving stuffing. I hear the smell is just GREAT for the pores. Add chicken broth to the pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, add navy beans to the pot, and simmer for roughly 30 minutes. Add squash and cornmeal to the pot and simmer for another 2 minutes, waiting for the temperature to equalize and the soup to thicken a bit. Finally, add your kale to the pot and stir until just wilted (about 2 minutes). Season your soup with salt and pepper to taste, and serve! If you can't find navy beans, either activate the phone tree to see if your sisters have any, or sub in cannelini beans. If you don't have a sherrif's badge or other star shaped talisman handy, a bit of Maria's hanging rope will also help protect you from "dark and unnatural" forces-- like not having something flaky, buttery and cheesy to dip into the above brew. This recipe remedies that problem in less than half an hour! Preheat your oven to 400. Roll out 1/3 of a puff pastry sheet until about 1/8 inch thick and a little over 3 inches wide (the photo below is a LITTLE deceptive-- I doubled the recipe for testing). Add a bit of water to your egg and whisk until fully incorporated. Brush the surface of your puff pastry with egg wash, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Add your parmesan, sprinkling the surface of your pastry evenly and pressing slightly into the dough to prevent cheese from dropping off as you work with the dough. Using a sharp knife or pizza cutter, cut your pastry dough into long strips about 1/2 inch thick. Next, twist your dough to create a corksrew pattern (see below). Place on a parchment or sil pat lined baking sheet, with each "rope" strand about an inch apart. Sprinkle with additional salt and pepper. Bake your rope pieces for 15 minutes until pastry has puffed and turned golden brown. Allow to cool for a couple of minutes before serving as an appetizer or alongside your Owens brew. Blood on the moon is never a good sign, especially with a ring around it. But hopefully the addition of goat cheese, fresh mint, and Nigella seeds will banish any associated bad luck-- especially when it comes to love. Having a tiger's eye necklace wouldn't hurt either. First assemble your ingredients. To prepare your oranges, remove the rind with your fingers or a vegetable peeler, getting rid of as much as the white pith as possible. Slice into full circles, about 1/4 of an inch thick. Whisk olive oil, honey, and lemon juice in a bowl. Toss orange slices in your dressing and let sit for about 15 minutes to allow the flavors to meld together. Now it's time to assemble your salad! Place your oranges on a shallow bowl or plate, and sprinkle mint and goat cheese on top. Finish with Nigella seeds. Turns out you can eat chocolate cake for all meals in my house-- even better if you blur the lines in this recipe and make pancakes chocolate-y enough to please both Aunts and Sally's little girls. Instead of Gilly's "special syrup", I opted for a slightly sweeter pancake mix topped off with whipped cream. Trust me it's still relevant. Begin by sifting all of your dry ingredients (excluding the chocolate chips) together in a medium sized bowl. Next, in a separate bowl, melt your butter and add your milk, vanilla, and egg (in that order, or the hot butter will cooking the egg)-- whisk together until fully mixed. Add this wet mixture to your flower mixture and stir to combine. Don't overmix! If you do, extra gluten will develop and you'll end up with chocolate rubber instead of chocolate pancakes. You'll know you're done stirring when you have scraped up all the dry ingredients from the bottom, but there are still some lumpies in your batter. Allow your batter to sit for about 5-10 minutes before cooking. At this point, you can throw in your chocolate chips. Melt half a tbsp in a non-stick skillet or griddle pan over medium heat until foaming. Using a 1/3 cup measure, pour batter into the pan and do your best to maintain a round shape. Cooking for about 40 seconds, until little air bubbles form at the top of the batter, then flip! I swear I flipped them in the air. I just couldn't do it while holding the damn camera. Cook for another 30 or so seconds, and set aside on a plate while you cook the remaining pancakes each in 1/3 cup batches. You should end up with 3-4 sizeable pancakes. I was bad and snacked on one as soon as it was done... Wrap pancakes loosely in plastic wrap and keep in a warm space (near, but not on the warm stove, is a good option). Now for the whipped cream: in a medium sized bowl, beat 1/2 cup of heavy whipped cream with a hand mixer until soft peaks form. Add vanilla extract and confectioners sugar, and beat for another minute until stiff. It's that easy! Now layer your pancakes, spreading some whipped cream between each layer and laying a big dollop on top. Dust with extra cocoa powder if you have it, and repeat after me: Black as night, erase death from our sight. White as light, Mighty Hectate make it right.
Midnight Margaritas
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Owens Sisters' Brew
Yield:
2 servings
Cook Time:
45 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Maria's Hanging Rope
Yield:
2 servings
Prep Time:
10 minutes
Cook Time:
15 minutes
Total Time:
25 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Blood on the Moon Salad
Yield:
2 servings
Prep Time:
15 minutes
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Chocolate Cake Pancakes (with Cream)
Prep Time:
15 minutes
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Epilogue
There’s a little witch in all of us. Except for the people who decided to green-light this prequel series based on Alice Hoffman’s novel(s). I have very strong feelings about this. Ya’ll deserve to listen to “You Were Always On My Mind” on repeat with no tequila to dull your senses.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!