Recipes for foodies and film nerds. Because life's too short for stale popcorn and crappy movies.
The NeverEnding Story is one of those perfectly messed up childhood movies that you watch now and feel like you belong to a special club. Because it’s a REALLY good 80’s movie. Based on a bonkers German fantasy novel by Michael Ende, The NeverEnding Story …
30 years after its release (omg I’m OLD), Forrest Gump still holds up. Parts may not necessarily be as PC as they were once thought to be, but it’s still an A+ film that deserved all six of its Academy Award wins. That doesn’t even …
Happy bday to Tom Hanks! Naturally I had to celebrate with some kid friendly party food and a screening of 1988’s Big– a very absurd, but well-deservedly loved 80’s fave directed by the great Penny Marshall.
If you haven’t seen it (she types scornfully), a quick overview: after making an ill-fated wish to be “big” on an apparently magical Zoltar machine, 13 yr old Josh Baskin wakes up the next morning to find a grown ass man staring at him in the mirror. Fleeing a mother who is convinced her young son has been kidnapped by sexual deviants (this movie is kinda dark when you think about it), Josh has to make his way through the big bad NYC as a kid trapped in an adult’s body– which, of course, leads to all sorts of professional and romantic (in kind of a creepy way) shenanigans with the true adults he encounters.
Big is a relatively early film in Tom Hank’s long and distinguished repertoire– but it is a favorite for a reason. In addition to Hanks’s hilarious performance (apparently he had the actor playing young Josh act out all his scenes so he could mimic his childlike behavior), you have the wise cracking bestie Billy as a foil (Jared Rushton), and John Heard playing a superb asshole antagonist as Paul. Elizabeth Perkins is also wonderful as a jaded convert and, despite the ick factor, the final scene between Josh and Susan is truly heartbreaking in the best way. I swear it’s mostly endearing and nostalgic. Remember the giant living room trampoline? One day, you guys… one day.
So, assuming you’re around my age, please come and relive this 80’s childhood classic with me– and eat until you feel like barfing up silly string all over your bestie. Because that’s real friendship.
As they say in Big: The space goes down, down baby, down, down the roller coaster, sweet, sweet baby, sweet, sweet, don't let me go. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop! Shimmy, shimmy, roooock. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop! Shimmy, shimmy, rooooock. I met a girlfriend - a triscuit! She said, a triscuit - a biscuit! Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top. Ooh, Shanita, walking down the street, ten times a week. I read it. I said it. I stole my momma's credit. I'm cool. I'm hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.,., Couldn't be simpler-- spoon vanilla ice cream into tall glasses (these happen to be for champers). Top with Pepsi cola (the product placement in this movie is RAMPANT, might as well be authentic), bourbon, whipped cream and a cherry. Serve chilled, and try not to get too hyper/disgusting. There's nothing like walking through a county fair with a warm toasty cone of kettle corn-- and this particular recipe pays homage to the cartoonish carnival machine that started it all for Josh Baskin. Be careful what you wish for... In a medium sized heavy bottom pot, heat vegetable oil and sugar over medium heat-- swirl, until sugar starts to dissolve. Add your kernels and stir to coat them in your sugar oil. Cover the pot-- the trapped heat inside is what will pop your corn! Shake the pot every 8-10 seconds to prevent the sugar from burning. Sprinkle with za'atar seasoning, adding more if you like a stronger flavor, and toss thoroughly to coat. Because maybe the most memorable scene in Big (or any Tom Hanks movie for that matter) is him "playing" Heart and Soul + Chopsticks on a giant floor piano at FAO Schwarz. Am I going to keep the one I used as a background prop in my Big movie menu post? Yes, probably. Suck it downstairs neighbors... Start by squishing your tofu between several sheets of paper towels to absorb excess water-- you want your tofu to be VERY dry, so let it sit, switching out paper towels as needed, for about 10 mins. Once dry, crumble with your fingers. In the meantime, lay your kimchi and your shrimp on paper towels of their own to dry a bit, patting softly. In a small food processor, pulse tofu, shrimp, kimchi, white parts of the green onions, garlic, ginger, soy sauce, sesame oil and salt. You want a relatively smooth paste. Transfer to a small mixing bowl and refrigerate until ready to use. Next, cut your dumpling/wonton wrappers into hearts with a cookie cutter or sharp knife, laying each heart on top of a damp paper towel to prevent them from drying out as you work. When you're ready, wet the edges of your dumpling skin hearts with water and drop a teaspoon of filling into the center. Place another dumpling skin heart on top of your filling and press the edges to completely seal, using more water on your fingers if needed. Repeat as necessary and refrigerate until ready to cook, making sure that the dumplings don't touch each other as they chill. About 10 mins before you eat, heat the pan with 1 tbsp of vegetable oil over medium heat. Add your dumplings in batches, again making sure they don't touch each other, and fry for about 2 mins until the bottoms are golden brown and slightly crisp. Add 1/3 cup of water to the pan, and cover immediately with a lid. Reduce the heat to medium low, and steam for roughly 4 more mins. Slide your finished dumplings onto a plate and keep warm next to the stove burner as you cook your next batch of dumplings. When you're ready to nosh, mix all of your sauce ingredients together until sugar is completely dissolved. Drizzle a tbsp or so over your dumplings, and include for further dipping. Sprinkle dumplings with green onion slices, and serve with chopsticks! You can also freeze your dumplings before cooking! Just steam for a bit longer when you're cooking them to ensure the innards are fully done. Apparently no cocktail party is complete without beluga caviar. But since that stuff is kinda gross, here's a kid friendly alternative-- a deconstructed cowboy caviar with tortilla "blinis", mexican crema/cotija instead of creme fraiche, black bean "fish eggs", and roasted tomato and bell pepper "lox"-- all marinated in a Mexican spiced vinaigrette. Accompany your caviar with some grilled Mexican baby corn, and you can be as Tom Hanks faux fancy as you want. Start with your "lox". Cut your tomato in half and rub both halves and your bell pepper with veggie oil, sprinkling with salt and pepper. Broil for roughly 5 mins until skin is blackened-- transfer to a bowl and cover tightly with the same foil you use to broil it on. Allow to rest for 5-10 so that the steam will loosen the skin further. Remove the skin and discard, leaving only the softened bell pepper and tomato flesh-- slice this thinly to mimic seasoned lox. Gather your remaining caviar ingredients, including your vinaigrette (veggie oil to honey in the ingredients list) and your faux "creme fraiche" (ie your crema mixed with 2 tbsp of cotija). Add 1 tsp of your vinaigrette to your tomato, and 1 tsp to bell pepper, allowing the seasonings to infuse your "lox". Pour the rest over your black beans and let sit to marinate. Cover until ready to assemble. In the meantime, preheat your oven to 400 and cut out your tortilla "blinis". Spread out on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet and brush lightly with oil. Bake for 7 mins until golden brown. Set aside. Now time for baby corns! Dry briefly on paper towels and toss with your oil and seasonings. Heat a griddle pan on high, and sear your corn, about 2-3 mins per side. When ready to serve your caviar, spread your crema mix on your toasted blinis and top wiith "lox", followed by black bean "fish eggs" and sprigs of cilantro. Serve alongside baby corn with a healthy squeeze of lime juice and cotija-- which you can also dip into your crema for a nice street corn flavor. If you need instructions, see below. Just no double dipping, it's gross. Pull and shape your pizza dough into 10-12 equal balls. If you have extra, you can always try a nice game of catch? Cut your mozzarella string cheese into 1 1/2 inch chunks, and place into the center of each dough ball wrapping them tightly. Place onto a parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Melt your butter and mix in your garlic powder, basil and salt. While you wait for your oven to preheat to 400, brush your dough balls with melted butter mixture. Bake for roughly 30 minutes until golden brown, brusing with more butter if needed. Serve hot, with some yummy pizza sauce, and make sure to brush your teeth after if you plan on seeing your girlfriend at the end of the night EWWWWWWWWWW.
Ice Cream Soda Pop Vanilla (and Bourbon) on the Top!
Yield:
2 Cocktails
Ingredients
Instructions
Zoltar/Za'atar Kettle Corn
Yield:
4 Cups
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
When the popping has slowed to once every 2 to 3 seconds, uncover the pot and remove from the heat. Ideally you'll have a slightly sticky and sweet batch of lovely kettle corn.
Heart and Seoul Dumplings
Yield:
12 dumplings
Cook Time:
45 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Dumplings
Sauce
Instructions
Notes
Kid Friendly Caviar w/Grilled Baby Corn
Yield:
12 "blinis"
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
30 minutes
Ingredients
Deconstructed Cowboy Caviar
Grilled Mexican Baby Corn
Instructions
Big Birthday Pizza Dough Bombs
Yield:
10-12 balls
Cook Time:
3 hours
Total Time:
3 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
If any of you are foolish enough to be all, “I don’t get it” when I praise Tom Hanks, watch him reenact his Big rap below. The man is a gd American treasure.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Hocus Pocus– what a goofy ass time. Is it deserving of critical acclaim? No. But it’s a Halloween staple that everyone loves so much Disney just released a sequel 29 years later. And Sarah is STILL REALLY FUNNY! Both Hocus Pocus 1 & 2 star …
Ok, so Temple of Doom isn’t the best of the Indiana Jones films, but it’s certainly not the worst. This assumes you even consider Crystal Skull to be part of the franchise, however; I myself am still pretending it was never made. Technically a PREQUEL …
So last month kind of sucked for women. Actually, it really really sucked. But all the more reason to watch A League of Their Own– 30 years old on July 1, 2022 and a wonderful film to spend your afternoon with if you’re not feeling very ra ra as a female this July 4.
The All-American Girls’ Professional Baseball League was founded in 1943, when men’s baseball was put on pause during WW2. Of course, once the men came marching home, it survived only until 1954. A League of Their Own tells the story of the women ballplayers who first joined the league, and who worked tirelessly to prove themselves as star athletes in the face of overwhelming misogyny.
First off, Penny Marshall is a badass female director who was making movies at a time when the industry was even more dominated by white men than it is now. For A League of Their Own, she insisted that all of the female actors be able to play baseball– and even though Geena Davis was cast at the very last minute, she very quickly overtook her fellow actors in all the hitting, running and sliding aspects of the game. Because, this movie was made by women who were as impressive as the women they played. Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell, Lori Petty, Megan Cavanagh, baby Tea Leoni, and so many more– all very unique characters who combatted the docile little housewife/mother archetypes and not only made it to the World Series but figured out how to market themselves getting there.
I’m not forgetting Tom Hanks in his absolutely wonderful role as alcoholic coach Jimmy Dugan (THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL)– Tom Hanks is almost always terrific. But to dwell on him for too long would defeat the point of this post. It actually kind of bugs me that his pic in movie posters is more prominent than Geena, but bygones. Just watch the movie and maybe walk away with a little more optimism and determination than you might have before you started. And then, make a donation to the Geena Davis Institute.
Time for the League of Their Own movie menu! It’s so many hot dogs– each one kind of regional, but more importantly, inspired by some of my favorite characters from the film. And a lotta liquor.
Batter uuuuup, hear that caaaall… the time has cooome, for one and aaaaaalll… to plaaaaay baaaaall!
A peachy cocktail for our favorite baseball team-- with a lot of bourbon for our favorite coach Jimmy Dugan. Drink enough and you might end up needing a 53 second bathroom break. Throw peaches, mint, and simple syrup into a cocktail shaker-- muddle gently to make sure all of the peach and mint flavors are extruded. Add the bourbon, and fill the shaker with ice-- shake until well-chilled, and strain into two glasses. Top off with ginger beer (or seltzer water if you must) and more ice. Garnish with fresh mint and a peach slice! MULE! NAG! Here's a peppery hot dog fit for two bickering sisters from a farm outside of Portland-- and since there is no "Oregon style" dog, why not hybridize a Seattle and a California dog with some extra dairy? After all, both Dottie and Kit know their way around a cow's udders... Toast your bun in a 400 degree oven for 5-ish minutes-- just keep an eye on it so that it doesn't burn! Set the bun aside to come to warm/room temperature. Wrap your split dog with bacon and sear for a few minutes on each side until the bacon is extra crispy. Schmear your cream cheese on one side of your bun, and add your bacon wrapped dog. Top with onions, followed by your duo of peppers. Let's make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies! Time to fully load a New York/Coney Island style hot dog inspired by the League's sassy NYC besties Mae and Doris. Of course, Coney Island Dogs are actually from Michigan-- but HEYO so is Madonna. And there's plenty of beef and Irish cheddar for Rosie. A perfect meal after a sexy af night of swing dancing... and oops, maybe your bosoms come flying out? Boil hot dogs in a small saucepan full of water for 4-5 minutes. They can sit in said water to keep warm while you prep the other ingredients-- that's just extra NYC. Add your two dogs to your bun, load up one side with sauerkraut, one side with spicy mustard. Top with a load of chili, a sprinkle of onions, and a hefty portion of grated irish chedder. Place under the broiler for a minute to melt the cheese (yum) and eat the whole. damn. thing. For the chili-- you can drastically reduce the ingredients of my Dick Tracy recipe here (ommitting the beans), or you can be lazy and go with store bought. There's a guide to the best ones here! For an extra quick sauerkraut, you can combine a 1/2 cup of shredded cabbage with 1 tbsp of white vinegar and 1/3 cup water in a small saucepan. Cover and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until cabbage is tender (about 15 minutes). Poor Betty Spaghetti. She deserves her own damn dog, she went through it. War sucks. Spritz your bun with olive oil and toast in an oven at 400 degrees for 5-ish minutes until just crispy, but not burned. Set aside. Grill/sear your Italian sausage for roughly 8 minutes on medium high, turning periodically to guarantee an even char. When done, slice at a bias into 1 1/2 inch chunks. Toss spaghetti with hot tomato sauce and spiral with a fork-- place these pasta rounds into the bun and top with sausage chunks. Pour residual tomato sauce over your spaghetti dogs and top with grated parmesan. You can use store bought if you like, but I have a from scratch pizza sauce recipe that is delightful in a pinch! Who knew beauty queen Ellen Sue and super shy Shirley Baker would each be such badasses in their own way? But THAT'S THE DAMN POINT. So here's a slaw dog (with some peaches, cause why not) for these two Southern belles. Start with your slaw-- mix the milky whi--whiiiite mayo with the vinegar, mustard, peach and red onion. Toss with your cabbage and allow to sit for 30 minutes. The slaw should be at room temp anyway, duh. Flavor with salt and pepper as needed. Grill pork frank for roughly 6 minutes, turning frequently for an even char. Add to bun and top with slaw. Drizzle with your favorite bbq sauce and mwah! If it wasn't sexist as all hell I'd say it's worth a kiss. You can of course use your favorite bbq sauce-- but yep, I have a really good one already made here! Saying it now-- Colorado native Marla Hooch is my favorite Rockford Peach. I still can't watch the scenes with her dad. Crushes my soul. But let's be real, she's the best ballplayer on the team-- despite the fact that at the beginning of the film, she's deemed not quite pretty enough for (THE IRONY) Jon Lovitz. So here's a messy Colorado/Denver dog for Marla Hooch, who can get boozy as fuck and reel in a man when even Madonna's around. Because (and I know I'm repeating myself) she's the best. Simmer hot dog in 1/2 cup of Coors beer for 5-6 minutes until plump. Then, char it over an open flame (gas or otherwise) until blackened. Mix the green pepper, red onion, and sour cream. Add to the bun, together with your charred dog, and top with sliced jalepeno. What a hitter! Lol Alice, YOU'RE KILLIN' ME. But as the resident Canadian on the team, she inspired me. Who doesn't love poutine? Start with your super simple gravy-- melt butter in a non-stick pan, and add flour to make a roux. In other words, a flour butter paste, which will smell like popcorn when ready. Add your broth and seasonings-- stir until fully mixed and boiling. Reduce heat, and simmer until thickened (just a minute or two). Set aside and keep very warm. Grill frank, turning frequently. Place in bun and top with hot fries, cheese curds, and gravy. Sprinkle with chives as garnish. Oh hey look I've made french fries before. And they're GOOD. Part of me wanted Evelyn to have all the hot dogs, but let's be real-- she was all about her Stillwell Angel. And Stillwell LOVED his chocolate. Even when it came with a mitt full of baseball spirit to the face. Insert craaaacker jacks here. In a double boiler, melt your chocolate. See method below. Pour your melted chocolate into a small parchment paper lined baking dish-- the chocolate layer should be between 1/4 and 1/2 inch thick. While still warm. crush and crumble cracker jacks over the chocolate. Refrigerate (or freeze) until ready to eat and drive everyone around you bonkers, you spoiled brat.
Rockford Peach & Bourbon Smash
Yield:
2 cocktails
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Kit & Dottie Dog
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
All The Way Besties Dog
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Betty Spaghetti Dog
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Southern Belle Dog
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
She Aint "Pretty" But She Sure Can Hit
Yield:
1 Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
We've Got Canadians! Dog
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Have Another Chocolate Stillwell angel (w/cracker jacks)
Yield:
Enough already
Ingredients
Instructions
This new series… I dunno… will it be good? I have hope. See you in August.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
As I write this post, it is officially the one-week anniversary of learning the results of the 2020 election. What a ride the last seven days have been. And I could not think of a more appropriate movie to celebrate the outcome than The American …
I’ve been wanting to do at least one serious horror/thriller for October. But let me just say that blood, guts and ghosts don’t always make for appetizing menus.
Enter Mike Pence (or should I say his winged companion) who inspired me to revisit Hitchcock’s classic Psycho– and right in time for the film’s 60th anniversary!
When Psycho was theatrically released in 1960, Hitchcock notoriously ordered theaters to bar entrance to late ticket holders– “It is required that you see ‘Psycho’ from the very beginning!”. Though it’s hard to spoil the movie at this point in history, you have to appreciate his commitment to preserving the theatrical experience and safeguarding the surprise ending. And yet, he was a master at teasing the audience with JUST ENOUGH to titillate them (as evidenced in the “trailer” below).
Hitchcock intentionally made Psycho look like a cheap exploitation film in the vein of other critically acclaimed low-budget thrillers like Clouzot’s “Diabolique” (1955). For Psycho, Hitchcock retained a television crew with a fraction of the budget typical for his other well-known productions– the footage is black and white at a time when Technicolor was the norm, the soundtrack is a raw mix of only strings, and there is very little dialogue for long stretches. The end result is of course an iconic and shocking work of art featuring A+ performances from Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, and Mr. Fly.
As far as food goes, there are actually several culinary references in Psycho– perhaps the most notable being Norman’s simple parlor dinner of sandwiches and milk. In this menu, I too went with sandwiches, but got a little psychoanalytical with my ingredients. Enjoy, as much as you can in between gasps, and from today onward please remember to lock your damn bathroom door.
With one of those faces you can't help believing, Norman asks Marion to join him for a low key parlor dinner: a simple sandwich of bread, cheese and ham. We'll call this his good side sandwich-- ham and Gouda/good-a (kind of a pun?) on a no frills seeded bread (just right for a girl who eats like a bird), topped off with a sweet honey mustard spread (to lure in unsuspecting flies). Mix mayo, dijon, and honey until fully incorporated. Set aside. Next, assemble your remaining ingredients. Spread one slice of bread with whole grain mustard, and the other slice with honey mustard mix. Layer on ham and gouda (GET IT?? Good-a), cut in half, and dinner is served. All you need now is a nice glass of milk and some innocent, not creepy at all, late night taxidermy. And now for a sandwich more suited to the dark psyches in Psycho-- an oozy mess of extra sharp cheddar grilled cheese, sinful bacon, and bloody mary tomatoes bursting out of dark pumpernickel bread. Eat quickly, the aftermath is difficult to clean up. Add bacon slices to a non-stick skillet and bring the heat to medium (starting the bacon in a cold pan gives you a more crispy crust! Cook bacon till one side is crisp (about 4-5 mins) and turn over. Cook an additional 3-4 mins until bacon is fully crisped, and transfer to a paper towl to allow the grease to drain. Pour half of the bacon grease out (or alternative, reserve and refrigerate for future use). Add your cherry tomatoes to the pan and bring them to a sizzle. Reduce heat to low, and cover, allowing for 5 minutes until tomotoes have burst. Add your Worcestershire, hot sauce, pepper, horseradish, lemon juice, and celery salt, tossing your tomotoes until fully coated and liquids mostly evaporate. Remove from heat. Heat a griddle pan (or utilize the same non-stick skillet if you don't need the griddle marks) on medium. Brush both sides of each piece of bread with butter. Grill one side of each piece of bread-- this will make for crunchier innards. Toast for about 5 minutes. Remove pumpernickel from the grill and allow to cool slightly. Add your spinach to the toated side of one slice, followed by your bacon, cheese, and a sprinkle of paprika. Top with burst tomatoes (and extra cheese, if you're feeling particularly amoral) and second grilled slice. Grill exterior of the sandwich on low heat-- you'll need extra time to allow all that cheese to melt, but you don't want your bread to burn. Eventually, you'll end up with this gluttonous, bleeding mess that's just begging you to cut it open... ...and, for numerous reasons, maybe take a minute before showering after consumption. Turns out that in addition to young blondes, one of Norman's other vices is candy corn. Wouldn't he be excited to know you can combine the two into one delicious Halloween treat-- throw in some nuts for his nutty state of mind and you've got a triple threat on your hands. Preheat the oven to 350, and grease a 9x5 loaf pan with butter, and line with parchment paper. Assemble your ingredients. Roughly smash 1/2 cup of the candy corns, reserving a few (these will be pressed whole into the surface of your blondies. Next, melt your butter in a microwave safe bowl, and add sugar, stirring to incorporate. Whisk in egg and vanilla, followed by the flour and salt. Fold your crushed candy corn and nuts into the blondie batter, trying not to over stir. Pour batter into pan and bake for about 20 minutes until almost done. Remove from oven and gently press whole candy corn into the still-soft top of the blondie mix. Place back in oven for another 2 minutes, allowing the candy to melt EVER SO SLIGHTLY into the surface. Remove from oven and your pan and set on a cutting board to cool 15-20 minutes. Cut into 8 equal bars, and indulge yourself. A boy's best friend is his mother. Even when you have to hide her in the fruit cellar. Three hours before bedtime, preheat your oven to 175. Lay your apple slices on a parchment lined baking sheet and sprinkle with cinnamon and nutmeg. Two of these are spares for looks, since the apples will warp as they dry out. Dry your apple slices in your heated oven for about three hours until fully dehydrated... WHOOPS, sorry. Now for the cocktail. Mix all remaining ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake until chilled. Pour into your favorite glasses, with or without ice-- just as long as you drink every. last. drop. Like a good little child.
"Wouldn't Hurt a Fly" Ham and Cheese
Yield:
1 Sandwich
Cook Time:
10 minutes
Total Time:
10 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Bloody Marion Mess
Yield:
1 Sandwich
Cook Time:
45 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Candy Corn Blondies
Yield:
8 Blondies
Prep Time:
10 minutes
Cook Time:
25 minutes
Total Time:
35 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Mother's Milk
Yield:
2 Cocktails
Prep Time:
3 hours
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
3 hours 5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Don’t bother with the 1998 shot-for-shot remake of Psycho— it’s not good (clearly I have a complex about remakes…). Instead, watch Michael Powell’s “Peeping Tom”. A British production also released in 1960, this film is (dare I say it) darker than Psycho and more perverse in a number of ways. Plus there’s a really nifty dance number…
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
