Tag: chocolate

The Family Stone

The Family Stone

The Family Stone is one of those movies that I have to watch every year– usually late at night with no one around to see me ugly cry. It’s tradition. At the outset of my first viewing experience, I honestly didn’t have high expectations. Yet 

Practical Magic

Practical Magic

If you imagined me spinning around my kitchen listening to Stevie Nicks and Joni Mitchell while executing this Practical Magic menu, that vision would be 100% accurate. It would also not be an exaggeration to say that I’ve watched this movie at least 30 times. 

The Witches

The Witches

I loved and feared The Witches as a child. It’s always been that moment early in the film, when “Ereeka’s” father sees the painting. CHILLING. But this is why I love late 80’s and early 90’s movies for children– they were often dark and absurdly grotesque in a way that mirrored the experience of childhood itself. Author Roald Dahl was a master of this in his books, and though it’s known he didn’t appreciate how the ending of The Witches differed from the one he published in 1983, I think producer Jim Henson and director Nick Roeg were successful in creating a film that visually frightens, disgusts, and entertains all at once.

And let’s just take a moment and appreciate Angelica Houston as the Grand High Witch. My own gramma taught me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say I shouldn’t say anything at all– so I won’t say anything about the new Witches remake featuring Anne Hathaway in the iconic role… except that no one (especially Anne Hathaway, oops, I said it) could ever replicate Angelica’s performance as her grandness, Miss Ernst, the evilest of all evil witches. Seriously, just look at this lewk, collective Lukes:

Angelica queen

So now it’s time to gather your loved ones close (including children, if they dare, the stinking little carbuncles), and enjoy a meal suited for 1990’s The Witches. You are in for a treat.

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

formula 86

Formula 86

Yield: 1 Cocktail
Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour 5 minutes

My very latest, and very greatest, magic formula-- a sweet and slightly bitter Jager cocktail that's very similar to this common German shot. "One doze, and ze time works to ze second. But more zan five dozes, breaks ze delay barrier... and ze formula works INSTANTLY." Her grandness speaks the truth.

Ingredients

  • 1 shot Jägermeister
  • 1 shot Peach Schnapps
  • 3 shots Cran-Grape Juice
  • 1/2 shot Lemon Juice
  • 2 Generous Dashes Orange Bitters
  • Essence of Dog's Droppings (J/K)

Instructions

If drinking straight up, freeze a martini glass ahead of time. When ready, fill a cocktail shaker with ice and all of the ingredients. Shake until completely chilled, and pour into your cold martini glass.

formula 86

If you'd like something a little lighter, you can also serve this cocktail in a highball glass with ice and a splash of club soda.

cress soup

Cress Soup

Yield: 2 Servings
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes

I almost made both cock-a-leekie and cress soups, because I've always wondered what Bruno's father was missing out on. But having tried this surprisingly easy recipe I realized entitled Mr. Jenkins was 100% right to demand the cress. It's like a creamy, potato-y bowl of goodness so luxurious you don't even realize you're getting a full serving of greens too.

Poor cock-a-leekie, always second choice...

Ingredients

  • 1/2 tbsp Salted Butter
  • 1/2 tbsp Olive Oil
  • 1 Leek, white part only, roughly chopped (about 3/4 cup)
  • 1 Celery Stalk, small, roughly chopped (about 1/4 cup)
  • 2 Cups Chicken Broth
  • 1 Russet Potato, small, peeled and chopped into 1/2 inch cubes (about 1 cup)
  • 2 Bunches Water Cress, rinsed
  • 1/2 tsp Lemon Juice
  • 1/4 cup Heavy Cream
  • Salt and Pepper
  • 2 tsp Chives, chopped

Instructions

First, prep your ingredients-- and make sure your watercress is thoroughly rinsed! Peel and chop your potatoes last, or they will brown (if this starts to happen before you add your potatoes to the soup, you can keep them in a bowl of ice water until they are needed).

the witches cress soup ingredients

Add butter and olive oil to a pot and melt over medium heat until butter begins to foam. Add leeks and celery to the pot and stir to coat. Sprinkle with a pinch of salt and a bit of cracked pepper. Caramelize for about 10 minutes until mostly translucent, adjusting heat as necessary to prevent leeks from burning.

If potatoes have been soaking, remove them from the water and drain thoroughly. Add to the pot and stir to coat. Add chicken broth and bring to a boil-- reduce heat to low and cover the pot. Continue to simmer, covered, on low for about 20 minutes until potatoes have softened.

Next, add cress to the pot and stir for about a minute until the greens are wilted.

the witches cress in soup

Remove the pot from heat. Using an immersion blender, puree the soup until creamy. If you do not have an immersion blender, pour your soup into a food processor or regular blender and puree until smooth.

Add lemon juice and cream and stir to combine. Season with additional salt and pepper to taste. Note, if you think it needs more, you might be a witch.

cress soup with cream

Transfer soup to two bowls and serve, topped with a tsp of chives each. After consuming, check behind your ears for fur, just in case.

Notes

If you don't have access to leeks, you can substitute 2 shallots, chopped, or 1 medium onion. I just wanted to offer up an homage to cock-a-leekie-- I still feel bad for it.

cheese sandwich

Cheese and Pickle Sandwitches

Yield: 1 Sandwich
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

A cheesy pre- and post-transformation snack for Luke and Bruno Jenkins (a boy who has VERY strong opinions about butter vs margarine on his sandwiches). Note, I kept this cheese and pickle tea sammie recipe as traditional as possible with only a few tweaks. If you can't find a jar of Branston pickles, opt for a generic apple chutney-- the sweet/savory flavor is much closer to a British "pickle" than dill or butter pickles.

Ingredients

  • 2 Slices Whole Grain or Seeded Bread
  • 1 tbsp Branston Pickles/Chutney
  • 1 tbsp Salted Butter
  • 4-5 Hefty Slices Sharp English Cheddar
  • 1 Handful Arugula (or "rocket" for ze vitches of Inkland)

Instructions

sandwich ingredients

Gather together your ingredients, making sure to allow the butter to soften for 5-10 minutes until spreadable. Spread one slice of bread with butter, and layer on cheese followed by arugula. Spread second slice of bread with pickle/chutney, and place atop your cheese/arugula/butter half.

sandwich

Cut into quarters diagonally and enjoy (but avoid just nibbling around the edges, the management can be fussy).

chocolate cigars

Norwegian Chocolate Cigars

Yield: 10 Cigars
Prep Time: 1 hour 30 minutes
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Additional Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 2 hours 45 minutes

The witches know how to tempt and trap revolting little children with sweets. But Norwegian Gramma Helga also has her vices, namely sugar and cigars! So, as a special treat, I've combined the two concepts with a Norwegian butter cookie cigar dipped in chocolate and nut ash. Diabetes be damned.

Ingredients

  • 5 tbsp Salted Butter
  • 1/8 tsp Baking Powder
  • 1/8 tsp Kosher Salt
  • 1 cup Flour
  • 1/4 tsp Ground Cardamom
  • 1 Pinch Ground Allspice
  • 1 Pinch Ground Ginger
  • 1/3 cup Sugar
  • 1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract
  • 1 Small Egg
  • 1/3 cup Milk Chocolate Chips
  • 1/4 cup Chopped Walnuts

Instructions

Allow butter 5-10 minutes to soften. Add flour, baking powder, salt, and spices in a medium mixing bowl, and using a hand mixer, add softened butter and mix until fully incorporated.

norwegian cookie ingredients

Add sugar to the bowl and continue to mix. In a separate bowl, lightly break up egg with a fork and mix in vanilla. Pour egg mixture into the dry ingredients and stir with a fork until a dough forms.

cookie dough

Form into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least an hour (and up to overnight).

cookie disk

When ready to assemble, first preheat your oven to 375, and then lightly flour a cutting board. Divide your dough disc into 9-10 equal portions, and using your fingers roll into cigar length shapes-- they should be just slighly thinner than your finger.

rolling dough

Bake on a sil-pat lined baking sheet (use parchment paper as an alternative) for about 15 minutes until the ends just begin to turn a golden brown. Cool on a rack.

cookie cigar

While your cookies cool, toast your chopped walnuts in a sautee pan over medium heat-- be careful, they burn easily! Next, melt your chocolate chips in the microwave, about 1-2 minutes with stirring. Dunk the ends of your cookies in the melted chocolate, followed by your nut ash. Place chocolate dunked cookies on parchment paper as you go, and refrigerate for an additional hour to allow the chocolate to set before serving.

chocolate cigars

 

Epilogue

This meal for The Witches is only one of many, many movie menus I have planned for the various Roald Dahl film adaptations that exist (my brain is currently awhirl with Boggis, Bunce and Bean themed treats). In the meantime, I encourage you to take a look at Roald Dahl’s Revolting Recipes Cookbook— a compilation of deliciously disgusting dishes inspired by the foods featured in Dahl’s books. Yum?

‘Til next time…

Angelica bye

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride

Fantasy films from the 1980’s are my favorites of all the films. I’ve always preferred them to modern fantasy movies– partly because the tangible, practical effects made the magic feel that much more real and authentic. But I also think the camp inherent in some 

Inception

Inception

Most of us can’t see Tenet in theaters (already dating this post), so I figured there’s no better time for Inception– a mind-bendy Chris Nolan film with an equally mind-bendy menu.  Rewatching Inception, I always hearken back to older retro sci-fis like Dreamscape and Dark