Tag: egg

The NeverEnding Story

The NeverEnding Story

The NeverEnding Story is one of those perfectly messed up childhood movies that you watch now and feel like you belong to a special club. Because it’s a REALLY good 80’s movie.  Based on a bonkers German fantasy novel by Michael Ende, The NeverEnding Story 

Uncle Buck

Uncle Buck

Uncle Buck was a childhood fave of mine. Is it the best movie in the world? Maybe not. But it’s god damn funny, and it’s got a lot of food in it that I’ve always wanted to make. Namely, really enormous pancakes.  The plot itself 

Ratatouille

Ratatouille

“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.” Out of the mouths of rats…

Ratatouille is, to this day, one of the best foodie films ever made. Even Anthony Bourdain thought so! Once you get past the very weird concept of a rat inexplicably being able to control the physical actions of a human man by puppeteering him through his hair (…), Ratatouille’s democratic thesis of “anyone can cook!” is pretty perfectly executed. In a world where (as Collette aptly points out) haute cuisine is an antiquated hierarchy built upon rules written by stupid, old, men, Remy the rat is challenged not only to push culinary boundaries, but to do so with integrity. Big props to Patton Oswalt in the title role, who brings a level of earnestness and humility to Remy the rat– not to mention the rest of the stellar voice cast and genius animation from Pixar. 

I’d continue to summarize and gush, but I’m tired. It’s not that the recipes were particularly hard– the food just looked so EDIBLE onscreen that I wanted to make each and every bite live up to the visual inspiration. I blame famous celebrity chef Thomas Keller, who consulted on this film. And then hope he reads this one day and gets me a free res at The French Laundry. 

Happy 15th Birthday today, Ratatouille, and bon appetit!

The Movie

 

The Menu

Lightning-y Mushroom Puffs

Lightning-y Mushroom Puffs

Yield: 6-8
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes

I found a mushroom... Ah, oh, oh... You found cheese? And not just any cheese-- TOMME DE CHEVRE DE PAYS?! That would go beautifully with my mushroom!! And... this rosemary! This rosemary with maybe with a few drops from this sweet grass. You got to taste this! This is... It's got this kind of... It's burny, melty... It's not really a smoky taste. It's a certain... It's kind of like a... It's got, like, this Ba-boom, zap kind of taste. Don't you think?

It's lightning-y!!

Except, turns out mushrooms don't puff up when you light them on fire, electrocute them, or subject them to high roasting temperatures. But puff pastry does! So here's an alternative to Ratatouille's first recipe-- a super simple apertif bite reminiscent of a gougere. But instead of a choux pastry I opted for the aforementioned pre-made puff pastry. Yes, I cheated. Sue me.

Ingredients

  • 3.5 oz mushrooms, preferably chanterelle
  • 1/2 tbsp butter
  • 1/4 tsp minced rosemary
  • pinch saffron
  • salt & pepper
  • 1/2 tsp honey
  • hard goat cheese (if you can find Tomme de Chevre, bless)
  • 1 sheet puff pastry

Instructions

Seriously, so few ingredients. And, don't forget the saffron. A little saffron would MAKE THIS!

Preheat your oven to 400 and heat your butter in a small cast iron skillet. Chop your mushrooms and add to pan together with rosemary, saffron, salt and pepper. Place in your oven and roast for 10 mins, tossing occassionally. Your mushrooms should start to brown and get all deliciously crispy charred (... lightning-y!). Remove from the oven and stir in your saffron and honey, adding a splash of water if the mushrooms are sticking to the pan. Set aside and allow to come to room temperature.

Cut your puff pastry into 2 inch squares, stretching them out a bit as you go. Place a big nubbin of cheese and a tablespoon full of mushrooms into the center of each square-- wrap the dough around the filling to create little balls.

Bake at 400 on a parchment lined cookie sheet for about 25 minutes until pastry is puffed and golden brown.

Serve hot for optimum gooey-ness!

lightning mushroom

Notes

Chanterelles are a pain in the ass to find sometimes. If you can't locate these delicate French shrooms at your local grocery store, you can sub in another fungi (shitake mushrooms for example).

Remy's Soup

Remy's Soup

Yield: 2 servings
Cook Time: 40 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes

What'd you throw in there, oregano? No? What, rosemary? That's a spice isn't it, rosemary? You didn't put rosemary in? Then what was all the flipping and... the throwing the...

Who can say what Remy ACTUALLY did to fix a soup that was ruined by Linguini and all his Linguini-ness. Was it a tomato soup that became a clam chowder? What were the little white chunks our favorite rat added first? I've watched this scene several times and this recipe is my best guess-- a version of a potage parmentier (French potato leek soup) that has a little bit of carrot to add a lovely warm this-might-have-been-red-once-but-is-now-creamy hue. The soup is a delightful second course, but could also be a main if you're too scared of the ratatouille recipe to come.

Ingredients

  • 2 tbsp unsalted butter
  • 2 large leeks, white and light green parts only, roughly chopped (about 2 1/2 cups)
  • 2 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced
  • 1 large Yukon Gold potato, peeled and roughly chopped into ½-inch pieces
  • 1 small carrot, chopped
  • 1 bay leaves
  • 3 sprigs fresh thyme
  • small bunch parsley
  • 3 1/2 cups chicken or vegetable broth
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • salt & pepper
  • thyme sprig and additional cream, to garnish

Instructions

Look it's ingredients!

Add your leeks to a medium pot together with your butter and garlic. Sautee on medium low heat until caramelized (but not browned!). Season generously with salt and pepper.

Add the potatoes and carrots to the pot, followed by your herbs tied up in a little bundle with kitchen twine (we call this a bouquet garni (very French and fancy).

Pour your broth over all, and bring to a boil.

Reduce heat and simmer for roughly 30 minutes, until potatoes and carrots are softened. Remove the herbs and (off the heat) puree the soup with an immersion blender or some other kind of blender (but immersion blenders are super cool). Once smooth, add cream and continue to puree until thick and, well, creamy.

Keep warm on the stove until ready to serve, with fresh thyme and a drizzle of cream for garnish.

"Ratatouille"

Yield: 2-3 servings
Cook Time: 3 hours
Total Time: 3 hours

Ratatouille. It's like a stew, right? Why do they call it that? If you're gonna name a food, you should give it a name that sounds delicious. Ratatouille doesn't sound delicious. It sounds like "rat" and "patootie." Rat patootie! Which does not sound delicious.

Except that it is. It really, REALLY, is. Especially when it's made this way-- ie a slightly revised version of Thomas Keller's confit byaldi. Thomas Keller's confit byaldi <flourishes apron>.

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 red bell pepper
  • 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided
  • 2 cloves minced garlic
  • 1/2 cup finely diced onion
  • 14 oz canned tomatoes (preferably San Marzan
  • 1 sprig thyme
  • 1 sprig flat-leaf parsley
  • 1 small bay leaf
  • Kosher salt
  • 1 zucchini (4 to 5 ounces) sliced in 1/16-inch rounds
  • 1 Japanese eggplant (4 to 5 ounces) sliced into 1/16-inch rounds
  • 1 yellow squash (4 to 5 ounces) sliced into 1/16-inch round
  • 3 tomatoes on the vine, sliced into 1/16-inch rounds
  • 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
  • 2 teaspoons olive oil
  • 1/8 teaspoon thyme leaves
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
  • chives
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Instructions

First, the yummy tomato-y base of your "ratatouille"/confit byaldi.

Set your broiler on high, and place stemmed and seeded pepper halves onto a sheet of aluminum foil, skin side up. Spritz with a little olive oil and broil for 5-10 minutes (this will depend on your oven, just keep an eye on your peppers you want the skin to be consistently black, but not burn your peppers to a crisp!). Addto a bowl and cover tightly with your aluminum foil, allowing the peppers to steam for another 10 mins. This is what will allow the skins to peel off easily:

In a saucepan, caramelize your onions in your remaining olive oil for about 10 minutes on medium low heat. Add garlic and continue to sautee for a minute more, followed by your tomatoes and their juices, squashed. Chop your peppers roughly and add those to the pot as well, together with thyme, parsley and bay leaf. Season with salt and pepper, and bring to a simmer.

Continue to simmer over low heat until very soft and very little liquid remains, about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Discard herbs and puree with immersion blender. Reserve 1/2 cup of mixture and spread remainder in bottom of a 9 inch pie plate.

Now for your vegetables. Thomas Keller appears to skip this step and I don't know why cause it's crazy. When making squash recipes I almost ALWAYS sweat out my veggies by sprinkling fresh slices with a bit of salt. Lay them out on paper towels for a good 10 minutes, then pat dry-- this helps prevent them from becoming all gross and soggy while they cook.

Arrange vegetable slices in concentric circles over the sauce, in this order: zucchini, eggplant, squash and tomatoes. Roughly 1/4 inch of each slice should be exposed. You might have a few extra vegetable slices-- if so, these will keep for a couple of days, don't stress. Mix garlic, oil and thyme leaves in bowl and season with salt and pepper to taste-- brush the surface of the vegetables with the mix and lookit how pretty.

Cover tightly with aluminum foil and bake in an oven preheaded to 275-- the vegetables will be tender after about 2 hours. Uncover, and continue to bake for an additional 30 minutes to steam off any excess liquid.

At this point your ratatouille can be covered and refrigerated for up to 2 days (you can always reheat in 350-degree oven until warm).

When ready to serve, combine 2 tbsp of your reserved 1/2 cup of tomato/pepper base sauce with oil, vinegar, and salt/pepper to taste. Drizzle this in a circle around your plate and sprinkle with fresh herbs. In the center of the plate, wrap your layered vegetables vertically around themselves, almost like you would if you were forming a rosebud. Then, take another line of layered vegetables and lay it over the top of your vegetable spiral. It looks more difficult than it is but trust me-- it ain't.

Remy Makes Ratatouille

Top with a thinly sliced chive and bon appetit! A peasant dish fit for the snobbiest of all snobby food critics.

Synesthesia Cheese Plate

Synesthesia Cheese Plate

Yield: A lot of cheese
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes

Ratatouille's Remy loves his synesthesia. After all-- good food is like music you can taste, color you can smell. There is excellence all around you. You need only to be aware to stop and savor it.

Enter the cheese plate-- which, traditionally in a French meal, is served AFTER the main course. Feel free to switch it up, however, since this is where we also bring in the WINE.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 lb chopped strawberries
  • 1 tsp cornstarch
  • 2 tbsp sugar
  • 1 1/2 tbsp water
  • 1 tsp balsamic
  • 1/2 tsp lemon juice
  • pomegranate seeds/arils
  • chopped walnuts
  • Camembert cheese
  • Comte cheese
  • Mimollette cheese
  • Champagne
  • Rose (I only ever buy from Provence region. I'm not a snob. It's just better. WAY better.)
  • Cabernet Sauvignon

Instructions

Since Remy's first synesthesia experiment is strawberry meets cheese, I decided to make a super simple strawberry drizzle-- all you have to do is add chopped strawberries, cornstarch, sugar, juice, and (for something a little extra special) balsamic to a small saucepan. Add a splash of water to help the ingredients mix, bring to a boil, and then allow to simmer until thickened.

Drizzle onto a small plate or cutting board, and arrange your cheeses all fancy like over it. Sprinkle with pomegranate arils (another favorite of Remy's it seems--see synesthesia moment with Emille) and walnuts for crunch and VOILA, a mix of salty, nutty, sweet, deliciousness!

When it comes to wine-- champagne with the camembert (bubbles and cream, always lovely), a dry rose (emphasis on the Provence!) with the comte (the most popular cheese in France, btw), and a rich cabernet sauvignon for the darker, saltier mimolette (also a classic pairing). There's no Cheval Blanc 1947, but we can't all be as frou frou as Anton Ego. Nopety nopety noooooo.

synesthesia cheese strawberry

Notes

I chose these cheeses because, as Remy says, the best food in the world is made in France. But, per Collette, haute cuisine doesn't have to be snooty. See what you can find, and employ those mix and match skills! There are tons of guides online, but here is one from Serious Eats to get you started.

Chocolate Souffle Omelette

Chocolate Souffle Omelette

Yield: 2 Omelettes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes

One of my favorite Ratatouille scenes involves Remy making Linguini a basic omelette (that he then doesn't get to eat!). But since there wasn't really a dessert in the film, I took a risk and made this up-- a Frenchified souffle dessert omelette.

This wasn't an easy one to figure out. But, I channeled my inner Gusteau-- "You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. What I say is true - anyone can cook... but only the fearless can be great!"

I settled for pretty good. The whipped cream put it over the top :).

Ingredients

  • 2 eggs
  • 1 1/2 tsp cocoa powder
  • 2 tbsp sugar
  • 1/4 tsp vanillia
  • 2 tbsp yogurt
  • 2 tbsp chocolate chips
  • whipped cream and chocolate shavings, for garnish

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 400.

Then, separate your yolks from your whites, adding the whites into a small mixing bowl. Whip those whites into stiff peaks with a hand or stand mixer, and add your sugar, cocoa powder, yogurt and vanilla to your yolks.

Whisk your yolks with all that stuff together until sugar is dissolved and mixture is smooth. Fold this chocolate-y yolk mix into your egg whites, doing your best not to deflate the whites too much.

In an oven proof skillet, melt half of your butter. Pour in half of your egg mix and smooth into a rough circle-- sprinkle 1 tbsp of chocolate ships onto half of the circle.

Now this is key-- THESE ARE NOT REGULAR OMELETTES. After many failed attempts to cook these, uncovered and covered, on the stove, I realized that the fluffy whites need all around heat to set. So, slide your pan into your preheated oven and bake for roughly 7 minutes until chips are softened and souffle omelet is set.

Fold your souffle omelettes over a hefty dollop of whipped cream and sprinkle with chocolate shavings. Serve warm, before your cream starts to weep! It's a little messy, but we'll just say I "Linguini'd" the presentation.

 

Epilogue

There are very few animated films where I would appreciate a sequel– this is one of them. Even Roger Ebert agreed with me.

Someone find me the president of Pixar’s hair…

Ratatouille – supposedly secular

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club– a perfect back-to-school time movie and perhaps the most famous in the John Hughes coming of age oeuvre. Sure, a case could be made for Ferris Bueller, and I do love me some Uncle Buck, but The Breakfast Club is the movie in 

His Girl Friday

His Girl Friday

His Girl Friday– the film that crushed the 90 word per minute standard for humans with a whopping 240 word per minute average. Per Director Howard Hawks: “we wrote the dialog in a way that made the beginnings and ends of sentences unnecessary; they were 

The Birdcage

The Birdcage

I’m now back in Los Angeles after an almost 6 month hiatus in my home state of Florida– and yes, it’s often as weird  there as the internet says. However, now that I’m back to my regular life on the West Coast, I’m finding that I’m a little home sick! And so, I chose a movie that always puts me in a Florida mood, Mike Nichols’ The Birdcage.

A remake of Édouard Molinaro’s 1978 farce La Cage aux Folles, The Birdcage was released in the mid-’90s— the AIDS epidemic was hitting its plateau, LGBTQ equality measures were becoming part of a national conversation, and the Christian Coalition was battering the community with calls for family values and “morality” in politics. Enter this, one of the most hilarious films of the decade (and maybe of all time), starring Robin Williams (Armand) and Nathan Lane (Albert) as the Goldmans/Coldmans/Colemans– two gay men and life partners who live and work together at a South Beach drag club called (you guessed it) The Birdcage. When Armand’s son (that one actor from ER) asks his father to play it straight for the benefit of his aggressively conservative and close minded in-laws (Gene Hackman and Dianne Wiest), hilarity ensues– as do several costume changes. And throughout, as the family members stumble (verbally and physically) through their encounters with one another, you get to see Hank Azaria steal the show as the faithful houseboy with just the right amount of natural heat, Agador (Spartacus!). 

For YEARS I have been itching to try a Birdcage -esque sweet and sour peasant soup, and actually make it tasty. Well, here is my attempt– a colorful, spicy, and very filling celebration of Guatemalan-ness (plus a few other tropical goodies). If only I could’ve found Greek bowls with images of young men playing leap frog…

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

south beach spritzer

South Beach Spritzer

Yield: Depends on how much alchy and juice you have
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

What's more South Beach than a tropically delicious spritzer?

... Maybe some of these cocktails on Eater. But VAL likes white wine, and apparently everyone does EVERYTHING Val wants.

I'm a little pissed at Val, guys. If it wasn't for the Pirin tablets... I don't think I could go on.

Ingredients

  • White Wine
  • Pineapple Juice
  • Orange Juice
  • Club Soda

Instructions

Legitimately all you have to do is mix juice with wine at your preferred ratio and add a splash of club soda. I prefer 3x the wine, but that's just me.

Top off with a light splash of club soda for some refreshing effervenscene and you'll be doing an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!

birdcage twyla dance

... but you keep it all inside.

PS if the night gets stressful, you can always switch from wine to whiskey for a tropical whiskey sour.

sweet and sour peasant soup

Guatemalan Sweet and Sour Peasant Soup

Yield: 2 Bowls
Cook Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour

What's Guatemalan Sweet and Sour Peasant Soup, you ask? I don't know, I made it up. I MADE IT UP!

Kind of anyway. A riff off of traditional Kak-Ik, I like to think that this is a slightly more appetizing rendition of Agador's (Spartacus!) recipe. Let me make it clear-- this is definitely NOT a seafood chowder. But when you factor in the shrimps (which did make their way into my dish), the avocado, a pleasantly jammy soft boiled egg, and all the "Guatemalan-ness" and natural HEAT you could ask for, I think it's a wonderfully sassy and filling entree.

Just remember to remove your shoes while you cook, because they'll make you fall down.

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp Canola Oil
  • 1 Beefsteak Tomato
  • 1 Medium Onion, sliced into thick rings
  • 4 Small Bell Peppers (or ½ red bell pepper)
  • 2 Tomatillos, thickly sliced
  • 1 Large Bay Leaf
  • 4-5 Garlic Cloves
  • 2 cups Chicken Broth
  • ¼ tsp Chipotle Powder
  • ¼ tsp Achiote Paste
  • 1/8 tsp Cinnamon
  • Pinch Ground Clove
  • 1/2 tsp. Salt
  • ¼ tsp Sugar
  • ¼ tsp Freshly Ground Pepper
  • 2 7-Minute Eggs (ie eggs boiled for 7 minutes and peeled)
  • 6-7 Jumbo Shrimp, peeled and de-veined
  • Pinch Garlic Powder
  • Salt & Pepper for shrimp, to taste
  • Chopped Cilantro
  • Sliced Avocado
  • Sliced Green Onion
  • Squeeze Lime juice

Instructions

First, assemble your ingredients-- thick slices are your friend.

soup ingredients

Next, head a large cast iron skillet or griddle pan over medium high heat. Pour in a tbsp on canola oil and add your veggies-- cook until charred, about 2 minutes per side.

soup charred vegetables

Transfer vegetables to a medium soup pot. Add chicken broth and seasonings and bring to a boil-- reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes or so to let flavors meld.

Remove bay leaf and, using an immersion blender puree your veggies and broth.

immersion soup

Keep your soup warm while you prep your toppings! Note, your 7 minute eggs will still be yolky jammy in the middle-- if you want stiffer innards, go for 8 minutes (but I don't advise longer). To prep shrimp, soak in salted water for at least 10 mins and up to an hour-- dry on paper towels.

soup toppings

Just before serving, toss shrimp with garlic powder, salt, pepper and a bit more canola oil. Saute on high heat in a non-stick skillet for about a minute until pink. They cook quickly, so keep an eye on them or everything will be ruined and you'll find yourself chugging booze in the kitchen while sweating profusely.

fuck the shrimp gif

When ready to serve, pour soup into bowls and top with a halved egg each, sliced avocado, shrimp, chopped cilantro, green onions, and a squeeze of lime juice!

sweet and sour peasant soup

cuban toast

I Pierced the Toast!

Yield: 2 Servings
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

Because what goes better with soup and a fake identity than toast? I just made this a bit more Miami... and much more appropriate for The Birdcage.

Ingredients

  • Cuban bread
  • Butter
  • 1 tsp Cumin
  • 1 tsp Paprika
  • 1/2 tsp Salt
  • 1/8 tsp Cayenne

Instructions

A seasoned version of a Cuban tostada: slice your cuban bread, butter ALL sides of said bread, and sprinkle with your seasonings before you put your slices together in what is basically a butter sandwich.

toast smear

Heat a griddle pan on high and press your tostadas using another heavy pan or panini press until toasty. Serve warm.

cuban toast

This stuff will go fast, but don't worry:

more toast gif

mango Schnecken

When the Schnecken Beckons

Prep Time: 3 hours
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 3 hours 20 minutes

Yes I know Alby went for the chocolate schnecken, but you could say this mango schnecken beckoned. I think they'd even satisfy Senator Keeley's sweet tooth.

Note: I kinda stole this recipe from this guy in Germany, with some liberties. If you need a clearer how-to on assembly, he has a video that was incredibly helpful!

Ingredients

  • 1 cup Whole Milk, divided
  • 2 ½ tbsp Butter, softened
  • 1 Egg
  • 2 cups AP Flour
  • 2 tbsp Sugar
  • ¼ tsp Salt
  • 1 tsp Rapid Rise Yeast
  • 1 8-oz Package Dried Mango
  • ½ tsp Vanilla Extract
  • ½ cup Powdered Sugar
  • 1 tbsp Orange Juice

Instructions

For the dough-- add first seven ingredients to the bowl of a stand mixer.

schnecken dough

Using the paddle attachment, mix on low until a moist mixture begins to form. Switch with a dough hook and continue to mix on medium low until a smooth dough forms, about 2 minutes.

Remove the dough from the bowl and allow to rest while you lightly butter said bowl. Add the dough back to your greased receptacle and cover with plastic wrap. Allow to rise until doubled in size, roughly 1.5-2 hrs.

15 minutes before dough has finished rising, prepare the mango filling.
Add dried mango pieces, vanilla and milk to a food processor and puree-- you should end up with a spreadable mix.

mango filling

Once your dough has doubled in size, place on a floured work surface and roll it into a rectangle about 16 inches long and about 1/8 inch thickness. Then spread the mango filling evenly on the dough using the back of a large spoon.

mango on dough

To form your schnecken, roll your dough beginning from the narrow side. Pull the dough a little while rolling it up to ensure a tighter spiral. Then, using a sharp, floured knife, cut your dough into 1 inch thick rounds, lining up on a cooking sheet lined with parchment paper.

slice Schnecken

At this point you COULD refrigerate overnight. Just make sure you allow your formed schnecken to rest and rise, covered lightly with plastic wrap, for 60 minutes before baking. In the meantime, find some Gloria honey.

gloria

Five minutes before baking, preheat your oven to 375. Bake your schnecken until your schnecken is golden yellow-- about 15-20 minutes.

While your schnecken is doing its thing in the oven, prepare your citrus glaze. Add the orange juice to the powdered sugar and whisk until smooth. Once you remove your schencken from the oven, immediately brush with the orange glaze and allow to cool slightly before serving.

schnecken icing

 

Epilogue

PS this year (2021) is the 25th anniversary of The Birdcage! How time flies. …and I still really miss Robin Williams :/.

Robin Williams

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Return to Oz

Return to Oz

Hi, hello, and welcome to a screening of perhaps the scariest “kids and family” movie ever made: Return to Oz. Trust me, it’s on lists. You’ve got mental institutionalization, Frankenstein-d animal/vegetable/furniture hybrid creatures (sometimes with or without a head), the witch actress from Willow, evil rock 

Call Me By Your Name

Call Me By Your Name

Ahhh Call Me By Your Name, what a gorgeous film. Set in 1983, “somewhere in Northern Italy”, the plot revolves around a six-week summer romance between Oliver (a dopey, beautiful American with an insatiable lust for life and the song “Love My Way”) and Elio, 

Almost Famous

Almost Famous

After twenty years (!!!), Almost Famous is still on my list of all time favorites. What do I like about this movie? To begin with… everything.

An autobiographical showcase of director Cameron Crowe’s misspent youth, Almost Famous focuses on the experiences of a fifteen year old aspiring rock and roll journalist trailing after a newly famous band. The performances are iconic– Patrick Fugit’s William Miller, Kate Hudson’s Penny Lane, all the way through to the Marc Maron cameo that I only JUST noticed during my most recent (fiftieth?) screening. And who could forget the late Phillip Seymour Hoffman dropping pearls of cynicism, a perfect contrast with (and sometimes complement to) Frances McDormand’s motherly “DON’T TAKE DRUGS”. I could go on, and on, and on, it’s that good.

And then there’s the soundtrack. Led Zeppelin, The Who, Simon and Garfunkel, Joni Mitchell, Cat Stevens, Jimi Hendrix, Elton John, and more– all tunes that (thanks to my badass parents) I was lucky enough to grow up with. I’m 10000% a bandaid. Sans the STD’s and waif-y body type.

Per PSH’s Lester Bangs, the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone when you’re uncool. I’d love to think of this film and foodie nerd post (and this blog in general) as an illustration of that maxim. And so, with that in mind, here’s a menu for Almost Famous, a pretty perfect coming-of-age cinematic opus. Feel free to leave a review, and be honest and unmerciful.

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

purple aura

Purple Aura

Yield: 2 Cocktails
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 1 minute
Total Time: 16 minutes

YOUR AURA IS PURPLE, IT'S PURPLE. And you might be able to see it too after having a few of these-- a riff on a Purple Haze cocktail topped off with mint and champagne. It'll set you free.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup Frozen Cherries
  • 1/2 cup Frozen Blueberries
  • 3/4 cup Water
  • 1/3 cup Sugar
  • 1/4 tsp Lemon Zest
  • 2 tsp Lemon Juice (divided)
  • 3 shots Vodka
  • 6 Mint Leaves
  • Champagne (without the Quaaludes)

Instructions

Combine water, sugar, 1 tsp of lemon juice, blueberries and cherries in a small saucepan and boil till the blueberries and cherries begin to pop (...).

berries

Using an immersion blender, puree your berry mixture. Strain into a container to remove remnants of skin, leaveing you with a thick purple syrup.

purple aura

Add 2 shots of the syrup and all remaining ingredients except for the champagne into a cocktail shaker with ice-- shake until you are sure the mint has been appropriately bruised and the flavors fully mixed. Pour into glasses and top off with champagne and more ice.

rolling stone

Rolling Stones

Yield: 2 Servings
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes

There is a very LA restaurant in West Hollywood called Estrella from which I stole the concept of a Rolling Stone-- a bacon-wrapped soft-boiled egg-stuffed avocado. This ball of crispy, fatty, yolky deliciousness is a true example of Valhalla decadence that will have you screaming I AM A GOLDEN GOD after you successfully cut into it.

Ingredients

  • 2 Eggs
  • 2 Large Ripe Avocados
  • 8 Strips of Bacon (not thick cut)
  • 1 tbsp Butter
  • Salt and Pepper

Instructions

First, boil your eggs in salted water for six minutes and thirty seconds. Six minutes will leave you with a little bit of clear egg white, and seven minutes will make your yolks just a hint too solid. When time is up, immediately remove your eggs and place them in an ice bath or run them under cold water for another minute to prevent the insides from cooking further. Peel and set aside.

Cut your avocados in half and remove the pits. Then, using a spoon, carefully scoop the entire inside of the avocado away from the skin-- start very close to the skin seam and dig deep, being careful not to shmush the avocado innards as you remove them from the skin. Once you have skinless avocado halves, carve a bit of the avocado middle out-- you will need enough space to fit your entire egg inside. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

rolling stone ingredients

Next, lay out four strips of bacon in an L shape (see below)-- the strips should overlap slightly to prevent gaps as you wrap your avocado.

rolling stone assembly

Once you have sandwiched your avocado halves snuggly around your egg, place your stuffed avocado at one end of your bacon "L". Roll up to the crux of your "L" base, where your four bacon strips meet. Then, continue rolling up your "L" so that the top and bottom of the stuffed avocado is wrapped in bacon as tightly as the avocado sides. You should have a nice little bacon-wrapped avocado package! Repeat with the other egg, avocado, and four strips of bacon.

rolling stone wrapped

Melt your butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add your bacon-wrapped balls to the pan and fry, allowing for 2-3 minutes on each side as well as the tops and bottoms. If you notice the bacon beginning to burn a little, reduce the heat-- you don't want it to cook too fast, or you will end up with a crisp exterior but raw bacon underneath.

rolling stone cooked

Once all sides are browned, remove your bacon wrapped, egg stuffed avocados from the pan and set on a paper towel to drain-- give it about a minute.

Then, using a sharp knive, cut your rolling stones in half-- be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that.

rolling stone

I can't look away.

moroccan home fries

Moroccan Home Fries

Yield: 2 Servings
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes

This dish is for William Miller's two loves-- Moroccan spices and chickpeas for the enigmatic and beautiful Penny Lane, with a homey vegan base for his mother Elaine Miller (as long as you keep the dairy on the side...). Incendiary.

Ingredients

  • 1/4 tsp ginger
  • 1/4 tsp cardamon
  • 1/8 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/8 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/8 tsp allspice
  • 1/8 tsp coriander
  • 1/8 tsp turmeric
  • 1/4 tsp pepper
  • 1/4 tsp cumin
  • Pinch cayenne
  • Pinch clove
  • 1 Large Sweet Potato, Cubed 1/2 Inches
  • 3/4 cup Sliced Red Onion
  • 1/2 cup Chickpeas
  • 1/2 cup Red Bell Pepper, Chopped
  • 2 tbsp Olive Oil, divided

Instructions

First, mix up your Ras El Hanout-- a traditional Moroccan spice mix that will flavor your home fries.

ras el hangout

Next, assemble the rest of your home fry ingredients. If you haven't yet, chop your sweet potato, skin on, into 1/2 inch cubes. You should have about a cup and a half as a result. Before frying everything up, you'll need to par-boil your potato cubes-- add to a sauce pan of water, bring to a boil, and cook for about 5 minutes until just tender. Drain and set aside.

home fries ingredients

Next, heat 1 tbsp canola oil in a skillet. Sautee your peppers and onions over medium heat until just caramelized, about 5 minutes. Increase heat, and add chickpeas and half of the Ras El Hanout spice mixutre-- sautee until chickpeas start to crisp, about 2 more minutes. Remove from pan and set aside.

moroccan veggies

Heat remaining tbsp of canola oil in the same pan and add your sweet potatoes and the rest of your Moroccan spices. Sautee over high heat, until potatoes begin to brown.

sweet potatoes

Add the vegetable mixture to the potatos to reheat-- serve, sprinkled with parsley and with a bit of feta (on the side).

moroccan home fries

Definitely not too sweet for rock and roll.

tangerine toast

Tangerine Jam & Creemy Ricotta Toast

Yield: 2 Servings
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour

I had to make a dish inspired by at least one song from Almost Famous-- because it is, after all, about the music. And while everyone thinks of Tiny Dancer or Fever Dog when they think of this movie, I chose the closing song "Tangerine" by Led Zeppelin. It's a good jam. Especially on toast with some creemy cheese.

Ingredients

  • 5 Tangerines, peeled
  • Peels from 2 Tangerines
  • 1/4 cup Honey (Orange flavored if you can find it)
  • 1/2 cup Sugar
  • 1 shot Whiskey
  • ½ cup Water
  • 2/3 cup Ricotta Cheese
  • 1/4 tsp Fresh Thyme Leaves
  • 1 tsp Heavy Cream
  • 1/4 tsp Lemon Zest
  • 2 Large Slices Bread
  • Olive Oil
  • Flaky Salt to Finish

Instructions

First, make your jam. Assembe all ingredients-- start with peeling your tangerines, reserving (per ingredient list) peels from two of the fruits.

Roughly chop your peels and set aside. Using a blender, pulse your tangerines to create a pulpy juice. Now, combine tangerine peels, pulpy juice, sugar, honey, whiskey, and lemon juice in a saucepan. Bring to a boil and reduce heat-- simmer for about 30-45 minutes until thickened to a jam like consistency.

jam boil

Refrigerate until ready to use.

tangerine jam

Now, for your creemy ricotta-- in a mini blender or food processor (or, if you don't have these things, a bowl and a whisk), mix the heavy cream, ricotta, thyme and lemon zest. Set aside.

creamy ricotta

Brush your bread slices with olive oil and place on a griddle pan (or in the oven). Grill/toast until crisp.

grilled bread

Spread your toasts with whipped ricotta and top with tangerine jam. Finish with flaky salt and consume while imagining yourself riding off into the sunset in your own private Doris tour bus.

 

Epilogue

Like Russell, I too am struggling with last words. Let’s just leave it at: Almost Famous is incredible, go watch it. And if you know people who don’t dig it, meh. You’ll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.

tiny dancer

PS I forgot to say polaroids are fun. Roll end credits.

polaroids

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Sabrina

Sabrina

I spent many, many hours binging TCM in my youth. And Sabrina was one of my first loves from the 1950’s. A then modern-day fairy tale, the film features a gruff and vulnerable Bogie, and a beautifully idealistic Audrey Hepburn. Need I say more? The