Happy 35 to Dirty Dancing, one of the greatest romances and dance films of all time (or at least the 80’s). Damn, Roger Ebert HATED this movie. And yet it has retained a loyal, long lasting fanbase– all of whom, I’m sure, secretly practice Johnny …
HEEYYYY YOUUUU GUYYYYYS, it’s National Junk Food Day! Which could really be any day for me, especially if pizza is involved. And I’m relatively certain this would be the case for The Goonies too– which is why you now have a pirate-y, Chunk-y, highly fattening set …
While the initial intention was to time this Jurassic Park menu to the release of the sixth (and dear god we hope) final movie in the Jurassic Park/World franchise, I’ve also realized that I’m slowly making my way through the Steven Spielberg “top five”. If you have to ask what the others are, read my previous and upcoming posts. Or read this article. But no arguing.
Released in 1993, Jurassic Park is actually based on a book (you know, those box shaped things filled with paper sheets covered in writing) by celebrated sci fi author Michael Crichton. Described by the New York Times as “a true movie milestone, presenting awe- and fear-inspiring sights never before seen on the screen”, the film took huge steps forward with regard to animatronics (the T-Rex weighed about 12,000lbs and would malfunction/come alive in the rain eep) and cgi. But let’s not stop with the visuals– although SOME critics felt that the character development needed work, I always felt that the priority was, as it should have been, the “science”.
For those who might not have seen the OG Jurassic Park, the plot follows cranky paleontologist Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) and his gf Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern), who are persuaded by bajillionaire John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) to vet his almost opened theme park featuring real life cloned dinosaurs. They are joined by Hammond’s grandchildren, a bloodsucking lawyer, and the sexy mathmetician Dr. Ian Malcom (Jeff Goldblum), who together all end up fleeing from the dinosaurs that (of course) escape their habitats and do what they do best at the top of the food chain.
I won’t go into more detail about the plot here, because really, you should have seen this movie by now. What I will say is that Jurassic Park always leaves me with a very palpable feeling of humility, and frustration with the human race’s overwhelming arrogance which is fundamentally at odds with nature. If you want to know what I mean, just listen to any of Jeff Goldblum/Dr. Malcom’s eloquent and uniquely cadenced speeches. It’s worth noting that, like Indiana Jones with archaeology, Jurassic Park generated so much interest in the science and history of dinosaurs that the study of paleontology had a record increase in students in the year of its premiere. Let’s hope some of those students are out in the world helping mitigate human egotism and NOT working for Elon Musk.
Ok, must go faster, must go faster. The Food: I’ve made a menu that features actual foods from the movie (human AND dinosaur foods), with a few creative twists. It’s a big menu for a big movie, so give yourself a little time– to those of you who ask, “Anna, how’d you do this?”, my response is (in a dramatic whisper):
Hold on to your butts!
The Movie
The Menu
Dino DNA
Yield: 2 Cocktails
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes
Based on a quintessential amber colored tiki cocktail called the Jungle Bird (get it? cause of the similarities between dinosaurs and birds?), this cocktail also features syringes filled with dark aged rum. Because BINGO: Dino DNA! Drink enough and your genetic makeup might be irreversibly altered...
Ingredients
3 oz Dark Rum
1/2 oz Campari
3 oz Pineapple Juice
1 oz Lime Juice
1/2 oz Agave or Simple Syrup
Extra rum in plastic syringes for extra fun
Instructions
Mix up all of your ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake until chilled. Pour over ice of your preferred shape (I prefer round like Hammond's amber cane topper), garnish with a few pineapple spikes, the aforementioned rum filled syringes, and keep your eyes out for impact tremors.
Hard Boiled Raptor Eggs
Yield: 4 Eggs
Prep Time: 2 hours
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 2 hours30 minutes
Life will not be contained! Life finds a way!
Unless... you hard boil it. But that's preferable to having an actual raptor pop out, amiright?
Ingredients
1 cup low sodium soy sauce
4 large eggs
1 large avocado halved, pitted, and peeled
1 1/2 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro leaves
1 1/2 tbsp chopped fresh chives
2 tsp freshly squeezed lime juice, plus more to taste
1/4 tsp garlic powder
Salt to taste
Chili crunch, Momofuku preferred or chili oil and sesame if you don't have access/patience
Fresh chopped herbs and micro greens for garnish
Instructions
Begin with your not yet hatched baby dinosaurs-- bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil, and add eggs. Cook for 10 minutes and drain, running the eggs (shells still on!) under cold water. Once cooled to room temp, roll lightly on a hard surface until small cracks appear, but not enough for bits of the shell to fall off. Add to a ziploc together with your soy sauce and seal, turning to coat. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours and up to overnight.
When ready, gather your other ingredients:
Remove the eggs from the soy sauce marinade and peel away the shells-- the result of the soaking process should be veiny brown lines where the soy sauce "dyed" the egg whites. Using a sharp knife, cut into the top of the egg at a zig zag-- remove the egg tops and and the hardened egg yolks with a small spoon.
Add the yolks to a small blender together with the ingredients 3 through 7, pureeing until smooth (you can add a LITTLE splash of water to help the texture along). Pipe or spoon your dinosaur-y green filling back into your hollowed out egg whites. Top with a drizzle of chili crunch for a firey kick and bone crackly texture and serve on a plate of green stuff. So yummy you'll need two for yourself.
Just don't let them sit for too long OR ELSE.
Chilean Sea Bass (I spared some expense)
Yield: 4-6 small plates
Cook Time: 1 hour30 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour30 minutes
One of the first real food scenes in the movie (excluding human followed by cow a la raptor) features Jurassic Park's renowned Chef Alejandro's signature dish-- Chilean Sea Bass. But do you know how much this stuff is per lb? And do you know how much super high quality free range steak we're making later? A lot, that's how much.
So I decided to scale this larger dish down to littlesaurus size-- makes for a lovely appetizer plate. If, however, your happen to be a veggiesaurus like Lex, feel free to spare no expense and multiply the below recipe by a bunch.
Ingredients
1 Small Sweet Potato
1 1/2 tbsp Corn Starch
2 cups Vegetable/Canola Oil, plus 1 tbsp
1/2 lb filet Chilean Sea Bass
2 tbsp Minced Shallot
2 tbsp Salted Butter
1/4 cup White Wine
1/4 cup Chicken Broth
1 tsp Minced Parsley
Squeeze Fresh Lemon Juice
3/4 cup Green Beans, sliced in half at an angle
Salt & Pepper
Instructions
Using a mandolin or a spiralizer (check out my post for Ferris Bueller's Day Off for a product recommendation!), get your sweet potato to look like this:
The appropriate blade size for the mandolin is 3mm, fyi. Toss your potato match sticks with corn starch and allow to sit for a moment while you heat up your oil in a medium skillet. When the oil pops with a drop of water, your ready to fry your potatoes! Shake off excess cornstarch and toss your potatoes into the hot oil in batches, keeping the pieces as separated as possible to prevent sticking. Drain on a paper towel and sprinkle immediately with salt.
Next, pat your fish filet dry and assemble the rest of your ingredients.
In the same skillet (sans old potato oil), heat 1 tbsp of new oil over medium high heat. Add your fish skin down to the pan, cooking for roughly five minutes to allow the skin to crips up. Flip, and cook for another 5 minutes or so until the fish is cooked through. Remove from the pan and set aside in a warm place.
Returning to your skillet, add butter and shallot and reduce heat to low. Caramelized for roughly 7 minutes until the shallots are softened, then add your wine and broth. Simmer for about 10 minutes until the sauce is reduced by half-- mix in minced parsley and a squeeze of fresh lemon juice.
Now, time for assembly-- in small appetizer plates (or one bigger plate if you prefer), spoon a layer of white wine butter sauce. Add a few green bean slivers at a spiky angle, followed by a heft chunk of Chilean sea bass. Top with some fried sweet potatoes for additional crunch and voila! Alessandro would approve. Despite the lack of purely superflous cherry tomatoes.
Notes
If you have some extra time, I highly recommend soaking your fish in a salted water for 30 minutes or so. Helps mitigate some of the fishiness you might taste from store bought fish.
Coffee Rubbed Cow with Dinosaur Kale and Gigante Beans
Yield: Big. Large. A Lot.
Cook Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour
Well, a couldn't find goat, so I made some gargantuan Costa Rican coffee-rubbed ribeye steaks with the bones frenched for easy pick up and utensil-free gnawing. Remember how I said this part of the meal would be pricey? Well, it will be WORTH IT! Don't get cheap on me Dodgson.
For those brachiosaurus types out there, I've accompanied this hunk of medium rare beef with a dinosaur kale and gigante bean salad. It's way simpler to figure out than a Unix system, and hearty enough for an entree if you're inclined to avoid raptor food.
2 cups dinosaur kale, stemmed and leaves finely chopped (1/4 inch thick slivers)
1/3 cup olive oil
1 tbsp honey
1 1/2 tbsp lime juice
1/4 tsp cumin
Salt & Pepper to taste
2 tbsp Vegetable/Canola Oil
Instructions
Guys, did I say this steak was good? Because it might be the best cow I've ever eaten. And it's mostly due to the Costa Rican inspired coffee spice rub:
Pulse the coffee and fennel seed in a spice grinder until fine. Mix with the rest of your seasonings and set aside.
Unwrap your steaks and cut away the meat at the angled botton of the bone. This is what makes your steak a mini-tomahawk or cowboy steak-- you're creating a little handle! Continue to trim meat and fat away from the bone until your handle is clean. VERY IMPORTANT: Don't throw away your meat trimmings (SEE NOTE)!
Rub a little more that 3/4 of the spice mix into the meat (SEE NOTE AGAIN), including the sides. Set the steak aside, uncoverd, for another 35-40 minutes, allowing it to come to room temperature and the rub to crust on the outside of the steak.
While your steak is hanging out, assemble your super simple side salad. This photo was taken BEFORE I slivered the kale because, whoops, editorial error.
Whisk your olive oil, honey, cumin, and lime juice until emulsified, seasoning to taste with salt and pepper. Toss with slivered kale and beans, rubbing the dressing into the kale a bit with your fingers to help it soften. Set aside to further marinate at room temperature while you preheat your oven to 450.
When it's time to return to your steak, heat vegetable oil in a large oven proof skillet on high. add steaks to the pan, reducing heat to medium high. Sear, undisturbed, for 5 minutes. Flip the steaks and finish off in the preheated oven, for another 4 minutes (internal temp should be at about 115 for medium rare)-- steaks will have developed a crispy brown spicy crust!
Remove from the pan and tent with aluminum foil, allowing the meat to rest for 10 minutes. Using a sharp knife, slice thickly from the end opposite the bone handle. Seriously, look at that:
Serve with dinosaur kale and gigante bean salad for them extra nutrients and dinosaur vibes.
Notes
If you only have access to dried gigante beans, no worries! You just soak in water for 6-8 hours/overnight (or quick soak them), and then add to a small pot with chicken broth, a bay leave, and whatever else you wanna throw in (old carrots, celery stems, herbs, anything savory). Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and cover-- simmer like that for about 40 minutes, or until softened to the degree you prefer.
AND, regarding those leftover pieces of meat + spice rub: the day after you make this Jurassic Park meal, I highly recommend slicing your steak bits up, tossing them in the remaining spices, and making steak tacos with pickled onions and guac.
Passionfruit Ice Cream w/Fossil Biscuits
Yield: 4 Small, 2 Big Servings
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Additional Time: 6 hours
Total Time: 1 day18 hours
Yeah, yeah, everyone probably expected Barbasol whipped cream on a cherry pie or that god damn green jell-o. But instead I paid homage to that one scene where John Hammond passionately (see what I did there?) talks about his first flea circus over a big tub of melty ice cream. It's sad and sweet and looks delicious. Plus, bonus points for the fun activity of uncovering shortbread fossils under a layer of shortbread biscuit (or cookie for us non-Brits) dust.
Note: since I forgot to store my ice cream maker bowl in the fridge, I figured this was as good a time as any to try a no churn ice cream recipe. If you're curious about the difference, see more deets here. The concept gets a bad rep, which I think is accurate in some cases-- but when it comes to this recipe, the acid of the passionfruit cuts through the sweetness of the condensed milk in a way that proves cheating the natural order of things sometimes pays off.
Ingredients
7 oz sweet condensed milk
1 cup heavy cream, very cold
pinch of ginger
Pinch of salt
Innards of 3 passionfruits, with any long stringies broken up a bit
7 tbsp salted butter, room temperature
1/4 cup confectioners' sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 tbsp brown sugar
Instructions
Start by whipping up your cream with a stand or hand mixer in a medium bowl. You should end up with some stiff peaks.
Add your salt and some powdered ginger (as Jurassic Park's own Chef Alejandro would wish it) to your condensed milk. Fold one third of the whipped cream into the condensed milk mixture to lighten it a bit, then fold the lightened milk back into the fresh whipped cream-- very gently with a rubber spatula-- until blended. You don't want to be heavy handed with this, or your ice cream will be a creamy ice cube.
Pour into a pie tin or small metal loaf pan and smooth. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and freeze for about two hours.
After the first round of freezing, your ice cream should be about the consistency of soft serve. At this point you can add the passionfruit and lightly stir until incorporated. Continue to freeze, covered, until solid and scoopable, for at least four hours.
Now for your biscuits! I feel British already...
Using the same stand/hand mixer, beat 5 tbsps of butter and vanilla on high until light and fluffy. Add confectioners sugar and beat on medium speed until mixed.
Scrape the sides of the bowl down, and add flour-- continue to beat on low, scraping as you go, until fulled combined.
On a cutting board, shape the dough into a cylindar a little over 4 inches long. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate until more firm, between 30 minutes and an hour. While you wait, preheat your oven to 350F.
Using a sharp knife, cut the dough into roughly 1/2 inch thick slices (they don't have to be perfectly round, we're going for a natural, stoney look). Using artistic skill (or in my case, very cheap dinosaur toys) cut/press whatever fossil shapes you choose into your cookies. It's all good if some of the impressions aren't perfect here either-- you're going to crumble 3 or 4 of the least attractive cookies into dust. FUN.
Place cookies, spaced at least an inch apart, onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake for about 10 minutes. Transfer to a wire sheet to cool, and pick out your least desirable ones-- these you're going to CRUSH. In a small skillet, melt remaining 2 tbsp of butter and add the brown sugar, strring until melted. Add your cookie dust and stir until fully coated in butter. Continue to stir until cookie dust is golden brown and toasty-- set aside to cool.
When ready to stir, spoon ice cream into cups and stick a fossil cookie in. Spoon a hefty portion of cookie crumble over the fossil cookie and hey presto-- an interactive Jurassic Park themed treat that even cranky Dr. Grant might even appreciate. Probably not, but at least Dr. Sattler would think mmm... that's good.
Epilogue
Long ago when I was a youth (ie the Jurassic Period), I had fun creative friends who made really cool shit and I wanted to too. So I started a backyard film project with said friends and we would all make short films themed to movies we’d screen. Here is one I made for Jurassic Park. It is ridiculous. But my friends and I, like Dr. Ian Malcom, can sometimes suffer from a deplorable excess of personality.
I’m feeling very Olympic today! Partly because of the actual Olympics, but mostly because I’ve been watching Cool Runnings on repeat to prep this post. It’s been a great week :). You probably already know that Cool Runnings was loosely based on actual events that …
Better Off Dead is one of those 80’s movies that a number of people don’t get. It’s surreal, fantastical, slapstick-y, absurd, and yes, there is a claymation hamburger that sings along with Van Halen. It’s f*cking funny you guys. Better Off Dead focuses on Lane …
His Girl Friday– the film that crushed the 90 word per minute standard for humans with a whopping 240 word per minute average. Per Director Howard Hawks: “we wrote the dialog in a way that made the beginnings and ends of sentences unnecessary; they were there for overlapping.” And I can’t imagine anyone managing the ensuing (and insanely complex) repartee better than Rosalind Russell and Cary Grant.
Based on the play “The Front Page” by Chicago (not New York!) newspaper journalists Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur, screwball comedy His Girl Friday follows the not-so-loving love story of newspaper editor Walter Burns (Grant) and his ex-wife reporter Hildy Johnson (Russell) as she tries desperately to say farewell to the newspaper game and to Walter– she’s off to become a “real woman” and wife to Bruce Baldwin (Ralph Bellamy), insurance salesman from Albany. Of course, clever, manipulative, and oh so charming Walter doesn’t want Hildy to go. And what better way to lure her back into the biz than with a salacious story about the state-sanctioned execution of a mentally fragile murderer advanced by corrupt politicians?
Poor, decent Bruce and his sloooooooow talking. Never stood a chance.
Note, the movie has some big problems– set in 1928 (the Dark Ages of journalism) and released in 1940, His Girl Friday features the kind of blatant racism and sexism that makes movies of this era difficult to watch nowadays. But I do still think the film is well worth a screening or twenty. Rosalind Russell has long been a hero of mine, and despite not being Hawks’s first choice to play doll-faced badass Hildy (imagine!), watching her own the room and all the men in it brings me loads of joy. Also I could watch Cary Grant and his dimple saying “Get back in there, you Mock Turtle!” over and over and giggle for days.
So here is a menu for His Girl Friday that certainly (if not tonally) fits the phrase “production for use”– a very utilitarian and pretty portable newspaper (wo)man’s lunch that you can enjoy almost anytime, anyplace, anywhere!
Ok, maybe the cocktail isn’t so portable but you can always down those while putting on your coat, Prohibition style.
PS film nerds: as you watch His Girl Friday, keep an ear open for Cary Grant’s improv’d references to himself IRL (aka Archie Leach) and Ralph Bellamy. Good/hilarious moments both.
The Movie
The Menu
The Last Word
Yield: 2 Cocktails
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes
A Prohibition-era cocktail that was just too perfect in name for His Girl Friday to pass up. At first glance I worried that the drink would be too saccharine for my tastebuds, but turns out The Last Word is more sour than sweet, and very complex-- again, apropo.
Ingredients
2 ounce gin
2 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice
2 ounce maraschino liqueur (this is NOT maraschino cherry juice-- you want the LIQUEUR)
2 ounce green Chartreuse
Instructions
Add the gin, green Chartreuse, maraschino liqueur and lime juice into a shaker with ice and shake until very chilled.
Strain into coupe glasses and try your damndest to finish before your partner.
Roast Beef Sandwich, Rare, on White Bread
Yield: 2 sandwiches
Prep Time: 12 hours
Cook Time: 2 hours3 seconds
Additional Time: 2 hours
Total Time: 16 hours3 seconds
And bring some mustard too, Gus! Because as any real newspaper (wo)man knows, it's the mustard that makes a roast beef sammie.
This is a very legit roast beef recipe btw. I daresay the Lord of the Universe would approve.
Ingredients
1 1/4 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoons black pepper
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp minced rosemary
1 1/2 lbs boneless eye of round beef roast
Extra-virgin olive oil, as needed
White Boule, sliced into 1/2 inch slices (see note)
3/4 cup sliced onion
1 tbsp butter
2 thin slices white cheddar
Gulden's brown mustard
Instructions
Begin by prepping your roast beef. Remove from packaging and pat the meat dry with paper towels. Place into a medium baking dish and rub with olive oil, followed by the remaining spices (salt, pepper, rosemary, garlic powder, and onion powder).
Refrigerate overnight.
On the day of roasting, remove the meat from the fridge and allow it to come up to room temperature (about 1 hour). Preheat the oven to 200°F and roast meat for about 2 hours until internal temperature reaches 130°F.
Tent roast and let it sit for at least 30 minutes before refrigerating or carving (if serving cold, make sure to trim the fat cap entirely first). Note, you will have more roast beef than is necessary for the sandwiches-- but it can be stored in a sealed container in the fridge for 3 to 5 days.
Now for your sandwich fixin's! Course, you can go old school and just have bread, beef, and mustard, but I do love some nice caramelized onions and cheddar.
Spread warm bread on both sides with mustard, and layer first the cheese, caramelized onions, and meat.
And if you're a newspaper man on the go, wrap in parchment paper before you cut.
Notes
You can certainly buy your own bread, but I have a killer bread recipe here! Just leave out the rosemary and you end up with a wonderfuly crusty white boule.
Hard Boiled Salad
Yield: 2 Servings
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Additional Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes
A fancied up egg and potato salad worthy of all the hard boiled and cynical characters in His Girl Friday-- note, it's served atop lettuce leaves circa the 1920/30's when people use to fake eating their vegetables by putting better tasting stuff on top of them.
Ingredients
2 cups baby salad potatoes
2 medium eggs
3 tbsp mayonnaise
1 tsp olive oil
1 tbsp full-fat greek yogurt
1 tsp white wine vinegar
2 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp pickle relish
1 celery stick, diced
1 tsp fresh dill
3 spring onions, finely sliced, white and greens separated
1 tbsp finely chopped chives
Ground pepper
Lettuce leaves for serving
Instructions
Begin with your hard boiling. Your eggs should take about 8.5 minutes; for the potatoes, add to a medium pot of salted water and set to boil. They should be tender after about 20 minutes. For larger potatoes, feel free to cut in half for consistent sizing.
Now for your salad-- mix ingredients 2-10 for the sauce, and add scallion whites, celery, and potatoes. Toss to coat. Peel and slice eggs into wedges, and add last. Don't stir much, as you want to keep the whites and yolks of the eggs together.
Garnish with chives, scallion greens and freshly ground pepper, and serve atop lettuce leaves ala the old days when people used to fake eat their vegetables (jello salad anyone?).
Coffee and Rum. Covered in Chocolate.
Yield: 1/2 cup
Prep Time: 12 hours
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 12 hours30 minutes
The last component of a lunch at Gus's-- coffee and rum (perfect for the nastiest of days) covered in chocolate. 'Cause why not add sugar to caffeine? You'll be talking 3x faster after less than a handful.
Much preferable to a wedding cake in Niagara Falls, if you ask me.
Ingredients
1/2 cup coffee beans
1/2 cup white rum
8 oz semi-sweet chocolate
Instructions
Melt chocolate chips in a double boiler along with a tsp of rum. When you get a satiny consistency, add your beans and stir to fully coat.
Place back on your parchment lined sheet, equally spaced, and refrigerate until cooled completely. IF YOU HAVE TIME, repeat this process after freezing your beans for a double chocolate coating.
Epilogue
Looking for more in the screwball comedy genre? They might not all as impressive as His Girl Friday with the fasttalkingschtick, but this list of films published by the British Film Institute is a wonderful place to start. And then add Arsenic and Old Lace. <3 Cary Grant. Even when he’s being a stinker.