It’s almost Christmas as I write this, so Love Actually is, actually, all around. Thankfully, it’s a delightful movie full of relatable characters (except Kyra Knightly, who always sucks) and poignant moments that still make me ugly happy cry 20 yrs later. I have to …
Get ready to salivate– Chef is one of those foodie films that opens with food, closes with food, and has all the cooking, plating, and eating you could want in between. A 2014 indie darling by Jon Favreau, Chef follows Carl Casper, a high-end LA …
The Breakfast Club– a perfect back-to-school time movie and perhaps the most famous in the John Hughes coming of age oeuvre. Sure, a case could be made for Ferris Bueller, and I do love me some Uncle Buck, but The Breakfast Club is the movie in which five of the eight core Brat Pack members exemplified a certain set of 1980’s identities– or, alternatively, where they demonstrated that those identities are actually not as inextricably separated as angsty teens might think. After all, we’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.
Set in Hughes’s oft used but fictional Chicago suburb, Shermer Illinois, The Breakfast Club begins with visuals of empty school hallways that have always made for uncomfortable flashbacks. It’s a Saturday, and each of the film’s protagonists arrive one by one for detention– there’s the “brain” Brian (Anthony Michael Hall), the “athlete” Andrew (Emilio Estevez), the “basket case” Allison (Ally Sheedy), the “princess” Claire (Molly Ringwald), and the “criminal” John (Judd Nelson). Stuck in a library and instructed by the tyrant Vice Principal Richard “Dick” Vernon to capture their identities in 1000 words, these five teens inevitably clash, break a bunch of rules, and have “profound” conversations about peer and parental pressure, why life generally sucks, and how when you grow up your heart dies. And then hey presto– turns out they all have some key things in common.
It sounds a little trite now, but at the time The Breakfast Club was one of the first cinematic attempts to portray adolescence in a way that was relatable to actual adolescents, not to mention the adults that couldn’t (or wouldn’t) understand them. And, the performances (particularly Judd Nelson’s) are legit wonderful. Now, I do not condone the homophobic slurs and references to impregnating the prom queen. Despite John Hughes being an insightful writer/director, there are some VERY cringeworthy moments in his collection of teen films (I can’t even watch Sixteen Candles anymore). That said, The Breakfast Club is one of those decade defining films that otherwise holds up.
One of the best scenes in this 1980’s classic is, conveniently for this blog, the lunch scene. Food becomes one of the many indicators of each Brat Pack personality type, and in several instances the audience is meant to cringe as much as the characters on screen. With the following movie menu I’ve attempted what I think are slightly more delicious versions of each lunch, with a common through line that you may or may not recognize– but maybe more importantly, every component of this Breakfast Club school brunch/lunch is relatively portable and ok to be stored at room temperature for a couple of hours.
Because who the hell brings raw fish to an unrefrigerated environment around other people CLAIRE??
The Movie
The Menu
A Smoked Bloody Bull for John
Yield: 1 Cocktail
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes
Because despite Allison's alleged predilection for vodka, obviously bad boy John deserves a character based brunch cocktail the most. ESPECIALLY one that celebrates a mental and emotional victory over "don't mess with the bull" Dick Vernon. In a perfect world, someone would step in and fuck that bull up.
Plus, Bender is the only one who doesn't come with a lunch, and while a boozy beverage might not seem like a great idea for a teenager, at lease this one has nutritional heft? Vegetables!
So smoke up Johnny! Being bad DOES feel pretty good...
Ingredients
Cherry tomatoes on the vine, for garnish
Olive Oil Spray
2 ounces vodka
4 ounces tomato juice
2 ounces beef broth
1/2 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezed
3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
2 dashes Tabasco sauce
1/4 tsp horseradish
1 pinch Kosher salt
1 pinch coarsely ground black pepper
Cherry wood chips
Instructions
Start by grilling your cherry tomatoes-- spray with a bit of oil, and sear on a hot griddle pan. The tomatoes should just begin to burst when they're ready. Set aside (or store in an air tight container).
Mix the next 9 ingredients in a glass or cocktail shaker. Then, using a cocktail smoker (see note) smoke your mix within the container. At this point, you could store for future consumption-- but if you're ready to indulge, pour into an ice filled glass and top with charred tomatoes.
So good, you'll be all:
Notes
If you don't have a cocktail smoker, you can always set some wood chips on a fire proof dish/pan and light them until smoking-- invert your glass over the smoke and allow it to permeate the inside. Flip the glass and immediately pour your cocktail ingredients into the residual smoke. It won't be as strong as with a cocktail smoker, but you'll still get a delightful hint of smoke.
But advocating for the purchase, cause cocktail smoker guns are actually pretty cheap!
Here it is, a sandwich so big it'll leave you totally totaled. Unless of course you blaze up beforehand and then it's just the right amount of fuel for a manic parkour sesh in a large room.
Though Andrew's enormous lunch featured what looked like a plain old turkey on white, I went with a recipe inspired by one of the better sandwiches I've had at Chicago's own Publican Quality Meats. And then added some bacon and firm fried eggs for the brekkie club element. Honestly, chef's kiss.
...But also I still really wanna know what the hell kind of strain Bender's dope was to cause that kind of reaction...
Ingredients
1/2 large, ripe avocado
1 tbsp yogurt
2 tbsp mayonnaise
Generous pinch garlic powder
1 squeeze lemon (about 1/4 tsp)
1 olive oil
Pinch Salt
4 slices bacon
2 eggs
1/4 cup marinated cherry peppers, chopped
4 slices muenster cheese
1/2 lb smoked turkey
Butter lettuce leaves
3 slices sourdough bread
Instructions
Begin with the avocado aioli. Add avocado, yogurt, mayo, garlic powder, lemon juice, olive oil, and a pinch of salt to a small food processor-- blend until fully smooth. Cover tightly and refrigerate until ready to assemble sammies.
For your sandwich innards, begin by frying your bacon, laying slices on paper towels to drain when finished. Lightly wipe the pan free of bacon bits, keeping a bit of oil in the pan. Over medium heat, fry eggs about 3-4 mins per side-- you want the insides to be firm, but still slightly jammy. You could of course go for the full egg porn yolky-ness, but it doesn't transport so well...
Toast your bread slices lightly and cut in half at a diagonal. To assemble your breakfast clubs, layer as follows: avocado aioli, turkey, peppers, bacon, egg, lettuce, cheese. Then, repeat, creating a double decker sandwich. Cut in half at an angle, and stack. Then, eat. it. all. Gotta get all those nutrients in if you don't wanna BLOW YOUR RIDE SON.
"Sushi" for Claire
Yield: 2 Servings
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes
But seriously-- raw fish and seaweed at room temp for hours Claire??? I love sushi, don't get me wrong, but I also hate people who are olfactory-ly selfish in a group setting. So, here is an alternative, sushi-esque side of all veggies with a tart and sweet ginger dressing. Nutritious, delicious, and still appropriately snobby.
Ingredients
2 tbsp peanut oil
1/2 tbsp toasted sesame oil
Several drops of chili oil
1 1/2 tbsp rice vinegar
1 1/2 tbsp mild miso
1 medium carrot
1/2 inch long piece of ginger, grated
1/2 tsp honey
1/2 English cucumber
1/2 cup cooked sushi rice
1/2 avocado,
1/4 red bell pepper
2 cherry radishes
Sesame seeds, for garnish
Instructions
Start with your ginger sesame dressing-- in a small food processor, combine peanut oil, sesame oil, chili oil, vinegar, miso, carrot, ginger and honey. Puree till as smooth as possible (see below).
Cut cucumber into four chunks about 3 inches long. Hollow out the seeds to create a hollow center. Next, slice your bell pepper, radish, and avocado into long strips.
Using a chopstick to help, line the inside of the cucumber lengthwise with bell pepper, followed by radish and avocado-- fill the rest of the gap in with sushi rice, pressing down for a tight pack.
Slice each cucumber segment into 3 pieces, and serve with ginger miso dressing topped with sesame seeds.
PBJ, No Crusts, for Brian
Yield: 6 Balls
Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Additional Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 2 hours15 minutes
Poor Brian-- a whizz in the math club, uh, the Latin, and the physi... physics club. Who needs friggin' lamps or a sex life when you can have PB&(cherry)J sans crust?
Ingredients
1/2 cup peanut butter (creamy or natural both work well)
2 tbsp finally chopped dried cherries
1/2 cup oats
1/8 cup ground flax seeds
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp honey
pinch of salt
cherry jam
finally chopped peanuts, for garnish
Instructions
Line a baking pan with parchment paper and place about 6 small dollops (about 1 tsp each) of cherry jelly onto the parchment paper.
Place in the freezer for about an hour to allow the jelly firm up.
In the meantime, mix cherries, oats, flax seeds, honey, peanut butter, vanilla extract, and salt until combined.
Using your hand scoop out some of the dough and flatten into a disk shape. Then, place a dollop of frozen jelly in the center of each disk. Fold up the edges sealing the jam in the center, then roll between your hands to form a ball.
When ready to serve, sprinkle with minced peanuts! Isn't life swell?
A Sugary Treat for Allison
Yield: 9 Squares
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Additional Time: 2 hours
Total Time: 2 hours5 minutes
Like the other kids, I found Allison's butter, cereal, and pixy stix sandwich to be the most... .... But I was always curious. Curious enough to try it? ...nah.
That said, the ingredients had promise, and turns out you can make a bad-ass rice krispy style treat with enough sugar to keep you awake through all eight hours of detention.
HA!
Ingredients
7 1/2 oz Marshmallows
4 1/2 cups Captain Crunch
3 tbsp Butter
1/4 cup Confectioners Sugar
1 tbsp Coca Cola
1/4 tbsp Light Corn Syrup
1/2 tsp Cocoa Powder
1 Cherry Pixy Stick
Instructions
Get all your cereal treat ingredients together and remember to play all the games on the back of the captain crunch box.
Melt the butter and marshmallows, stirring frequently, until almost entirely smooth.
Mix in your cereal and stir to combine. Add to a buttered 9x9 baking pan and press into the square shape. Refrigerate for an hour.
Meanwhile, mix confectioners sugar, coke, corn syrup, cocoa powder and pixy stick in a small bowl. Whisk until smooth. When cereal treats have set, remove from baking pan and drizzle with coca cola pixy stick icing.
Cut into 9 squares and serve-- alternatively, if you store in your hoarder bag with all your other shit, a ziploc is recommended (sticky).
Epilogue
I haven’t even mentioned The Breakfast Club soundtrack yet! And I highly recommend you listen while you cook– it’s one of the best.
His Girl Friday– the film that crushed the 90 word per minute standard for humans with a whopping 240 word per minute average. Per Director Howard Hawks: “we wrote the dialog in a way that made the beginnings and ends of sentences unnecessary; they were …
Aaaahh When Harry Met Sally– THE classic rom com perfect for an at-home New Years Eve celebration. It is also the best of its genre. If you think you have a superior candidate, feel free to send it my way. Ok maybe Princess Bride is …
I’ve been wanting to do at least one serious horror/thriller for October. But let me just say that blood, guts and ghosts don’t always make for appetizing menus.
Enter Mike Pence (or should I say his winged companion) who inspired me to revisit Hitchcock’s classic Psycho– and right in time for the film’s 60th anniversary!
When Psycho was theatrically released in 1960, Hitchcock notoriously ordered theaters to bar entrance to late ticket holders– “It is required that you see ‘Psycho’ from the very beginning!”. Though it’s hard to spoil the movie at this point in history, you have to appreciate his commitment to preserving the theatrical experience and safeguarding the surprise ending. And yet, he was a master at teasing the audience with JUST ENOUGH to titillate them (as evidenced in the “trailer” below).
Hitchcock intentionally made Psycho look like a cheap exploitation film in the vein of other critically acclaimed low-budget thrillers like Clouzot’s “Diabolique” (1955). For Psycho, Hitchcock retained a television crew with a fraction of the budget typical for his other well-known productions– the footage is black and white at a time when Technicolor was the norm, the soundtrack is a raw mix of only strings, and there is very little dialogue for long stretches. The end result is of course an iconic and shocking work of art featuring A+ performances from Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, and Mr. Fly.
As far as food goes, there are actually several culinary references in Psycho– perhaps the most notable being Norman’s simple parlor dinner of sandwiches and milk. In this menu, I too went with sandwiches, but got a little psychoanalytical with my ingredients. Enjoy, as much as you can in between gasps, and from today onward please remember to lock your damn bathroom door.
The Movie
The Menu
"Wouldn't Hurt a Fly" Ham and Cheese
Yield: 1 Sandwich
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes
With one of those faces you can't help believing, Norman asks Marion to join him for a low key parlor dinner: a simple sandwich of bread, cheese and ham. We'll call this his good side sandwich-- ham and Gouda/good-a (kind of a pun?) on a no frills seeded bread (just right for a girl who eats like a bird), topped off with a sweet honey mustard spread (to lure in unsuspecting flies).
Ingredients
2 Slices Seeded Whole Grain Bread
1/2 tsp Mayonnaise
1/2 tsp Dijon Mustard
1/2 tsp Honey
1/2 tbsp Whole Grain Mustard
4 slices Ham
sliced Gouda (however much your heart desires-- I did about 2oz)
Instructions
Mix mayo, dijon, and honey until fully incorporated. Set aside.
Next, assemble your remaining ingredients. Spread one slice of bread with whole grain mustard, and the other slice with honey mustard mix.
Layer on ham and gouda (GET IT?? Good-a), cut in half, and dinner is served. All you need now is a nice glass of milk and some innocent, not creepy at all, late night taxidermy.
Bloody Marion Mess
Yield: 1 Sandwich
Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes
And now for a sandwich more suited to the dark psyches in Psycho-- an oozy mess of extra sharp cheddar grilled cheese, sinful bacon, and bloody mary tomatoes bursting out of dark pumpernickel bread. Eat quickly, the aftermath is difficult to clean up.
Ingredients
2 strips Bacon
3-4 oz Cherry Tomatoes (a handful)
3 Dashes Worcestershire sauce
2 Dashes Hot Sauce
1 Squeeze Lemon Juice (about 1/4 tsp)
1/8 tsp Celery Salt
1/8 tsp Cracked Black Pepper
1/8 tsp Horseradish
1/8 tsp Paprika
2 slices Dark Pumpernickel Bread
3-4 oz Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese
1/2 cup Swamp Greens/Spinach Leaves
Butter for brushing bread
Instructions
Add bacon slices to a non-stick skillet and bring the heat to medium (starting the bacon in a cold pan gives you a more crispy crust! Cook bacon till one side is crisp (about 4-5 mins) and turn over. Cook an additional 3-4 mins until bacon is fully crisped, and transfer to a paper towl to allow the grease to drain.
Pour half of the bacon grease out (or alternative, reserve and refrigerate for future use). Add your cherry tomatoes to the pan and bring them to a sizzle. Reduce heat to low, and cover, allowing for 5 minutes until tomotoes have burst.
Add your Worcestershire, hot sauce, pepper, horseradish, lemon juice, and celery salt, tossing your tomotoes until fully coated and liquids mostly evaporate. Remove from heat.
Heat a griddle pan (or utilize the same non-stick skillet if you don't need the griddle marks) on medium. Brush both sides of each piece of bread with butter. Grill one side of each piece of bread-- this will make for crunchier innards. Toast for about 5 minutes.
Remove pumpernickel from the grill and allow to cool slightly. Add your spinach to the toated side of one slice, followed by your bacon, cheese, and a sprinkle of paprika. Top with burst tomatoes (and extra cheese, if you're feeling particularly amoral) and second grilled slice.
Grill exterior of the sandwich on low heat-- you'll need extra time to allow all that cheese to melt, but you don't want your bread to burn. Eventually, you'll end up with this gluttonous, bleeding mess that's just begging you to cut it open...
...and, for numerous reasons, maybe take a minute before showering after consumption.
Candy Corn Blondies
Yield: 8 Blondies
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 25 minutes
Total Time: 35 minutes
Turns out that in addition to young blondes, one of Norman's other vices is candy corn. Wouldn't he be excited to know you can combine the two into one delicious Halloween treat-- throw in some nuts for his nutty state of mind and you've got a triple threat on your hands.
Ingredients
1/2 cup Unsalted Butter (1 stick), melted
3/4 cup Brown Sugar
1 Egg
1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract
1 Pinch Salt
1 cup Flour
3/4 cup Candy Corn
1/2 cup Chopped Nuts (Macadamia or Peanut are best)
Instructions
Preheat the oven to 350, and grease a 9x5 loaf pan with butter, and line with parchment paper.
Assemble your ingredients. Roughly smash 1/2 cup of the candy corns, reserving a few (these will be pressed whole into the surface of your blondies.
Next, melt your butter in a microwave safe bowl, and add sugar, stirring to incorporate.
Whisk in egg and vanilla, followed by the flour and salt. Fold your crushed candy corn and nuts into the blondie batter, trying not to over stir.
Pour batter into pan and bake for about 20 minutes until almost done. Remove from oven and gently press whole candy corn into the still-soft top of the blondie mix.
Place back in oven for another 2 minutes, allowing the candy to melt EVER SO SLIGHTLY into the surface.
Remove from oven and your pan and set on a cutting board to cool 15-20 minutes. Cut into 8 equal bars, and indulge yourself.
Mother's Milk
Yield: 2 Cocktails
Prep Time: 3 hours
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 3 hours5 minutes
A boy's best friend is his mother. Even when you have to hide her in the fruit cellar.
Ingredients
4 Apple Slices, cut as thinly as possible
A few more pinches each Nutmeg and Cinnamon
4 shots Milk
1 shot Half & Half (or cream, you naughty child)
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
2 shot Simple Syrup
3 shots Bourbon
2 pinches Nutmeg
1 pinches Cinnamon
Instructions
Three hours before bedtime, preheat your oven to 175. Lay your apple slices on a parchment lined baking sheet and sprinkle with cinnamon and nutmeg. Two of these are spares for looks, since the apples will warp as they dry out.
Dry your apple slices in your heated oven for about three hours until fully dehydrated...
WHOOPS, sorry.
Now for the cocktail. Mix all remaining ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and shake until chilled. Pour into your favorite glasses, with or without ice-- just as long as you drink every. last. drop. Like a good little child.
Epilogue
Don’t bother with the 1998 shot-for-shot remake of Psycho— it’s not good (clearly I have a complex about remakes…). Instead, watch Michael Powell’s “Peeping Tom”. A British production also released in 1960, this film is (dare I say it) darker than Psycho and more perverse in a number of ways. Plus there’s a really nifty dance number…
Hi, hello, and welcome to a screening of perhaps the scariest “kids and family” movie ever made: Return to Oz. Trust me, it’s on lists. You’ve got mental institutionalization, Frankenstein-d animal/vegetable/furniture hybrid creatures (sometimes with or without a head), the witch actress from Willow, evil rock …
I loved and feared The Witches as a child. It’s always been that moment early in the film, when “Ereeka’s” father sees the painting. CHILLING. But this is why I love late 80’s and early 90’s movies for children– they were often dark and absurdly …
Fantasy films from the 1980’s are my favorites of all the films. I’ve always preferred them to modern fantasy movies– partly because the tangible, practical effects made the magic feel that much more real and authentic. But I also think the camp inherent in some of these classics facilitated a whimsical layer of humor that isn’t as common nowadays. Creators in the 80’s fantasy realm frequently took the opportunity to poke fun at the genre and at themselves. How could they not when dealing with a crap ton of fairy glitter, puppets, and/or schlocky foam latex appendages?
The Princess Bride is a perfect example of self-aware fantasy, a happy MAWWAIGE of Rob Reiner wit and fairy tale adventure/romance. Some of the fruits of this combo: real-world relatable Fred Savage eye rolls, forever quotable sidekick/villain hilarity, the BEST duel choreography, ROUS’s, the “Boo!” lady’s legitimately terrifying face, and a fair amount of goofy food references. Miracle Max and Valerie alone provided enough culinary inspiration for three posts. But I had to narrow it down for my first try. So, here’s a menu for The Princess Bride, hopefully “as you wish”.
PS I cooked everything left-handed.
The Movie
The Menu
Iocane Dark and Stormy
Yield: 1 Drink
Not only does the Man in Black Wesley have "eyes like the sea after a storm" (swoon) he also has a deadly familiarity with IOCANE.
Ingredients
3 shots Spiced Rum
2 shots Ginger Beer
1 shot Club Soda
Splash of Lime Juice
¼ tsp Powdered Sugar
Instructions
Mix all your ingredients, being careful not to overfizz your sodas, and pour over ice. Feel free to fling a little extra powdered sugar on your glass for appearance, and drink until you no longer understand the meaning of the word "INCONCEIVABLE".
MLT's
Yield: 2 Sammies
Prep Time: 6 hours
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 6 hours30 minutes
Truuuuue looooooove is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky!
Ingredients
1 lb Lamb Loin Chops (sliced about 1 inch thick)
2 Cloves Garlic
1 tsp Chopped Fresh Rosemary
1 tsp Fresh Thyme Leaves
1 tbsp Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper
4 Slices Crusty Bread (preferably Rosemary Bread, see note), sliced ½ inch thick
1 tsp Olive Oil
4 Slices Beefsteak Tomato
Butter/Red Leaf Lettuce
¼ cup Mayonnaise
1 tsp Dijon Mustard
Instructions
Here's the thing-- if you want to do this right, you would roast a leg of lamb (even more tender than mutton). However, I'm a single person who didn't want to spend $60 on an insanely large amount of homemade lamb sandwich meat. So my workaround is lamb loin chops. Here's how you do it.
Combine olive oil, garlic, rosemary, thyme, and a pinch each of salt and pepper. Rub the marinade into the lamb loins and wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 3 hours, and up to 6.
30 minutes before cooking, take the lamb chops out of the fridge and let sit at room temperature.
Remove the lamb chops from the marinade, reserving as much of the oil, garlic, and herbs as possible-- you'll use this later in your Inebriation Stew!
Heat a skillet (cast iron is best) over medium high heat and sear your chops on one side for about 5 minutes. Turn and sear on the other side for about 4 minutes. Note: if your chops are more than an inch thick, you might give them an extra minute to cook, especially if you're iffy about rare lamb.
Once cooked, wrap your lamb tightly in foil and let sit for at least 10 minutes to allow the meaty juicyness to redistribute. Then, slice as thinly as possible against the grain. Hold on to your bones! You will also use these in your Stew (which, if you're savvy, you could start making right now before you finish your MLT's).
For the rest of your sandwich fixins: brush your bread slices with olive oil, and grill (or toast) on medium high heat. Slice tomato to your desired thickness, tear your lettuce to fit your bread slices, and mix your mayo and dijon for a creamy sauce.
Once you have all of your compenents together, assemble away-- brush your bread slices with sauce, and layer the lamb, tomato, and lettuce in that order.
Notes
I baked my own bread for this one, cause, Covid. But it is a super simple recipe that doesn't require fermenting anything. Just check out the "on the side" page for the recipe!
Inebriation Stew
Yield: 2 servings
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour
Stew for when your best bud is drunk AF and you need them to sober up in order to find the six-fingered man and say... well, you know.
Ingredients
1 cup Onion, roughly chopped
½ cup Carrot, roughly chopped
½ cup Celery, roughly chopped
Lamb Loin Marinade (See MLT recipe)
1 tbsp All Purpose Four
4 cups Beef Broth
1/2 cup Lager Beer
Lamb Loin Bones (See MLT recipe)
1 ½ cup Potato (preferably fingerling or Yukon Gold, diced in 1/2 inch cubes
1 bay leaf
Salt and Pepper
1 tbsp Parsley, roughly chopped
Instructions
The beauty of this recipe is that it utilizes leavings from your MLT sammies. I do hate to waste a marinade.
Toss the chopped celery, carrots, onion, and lamb marinade into a medium saucepan/pot-- the oil should be enough to lightly coat the vegetables and allow them to caramelize as you cook them over medium heat. This should take about 10 minutes.
Once your vegetables are caramelized, add the flour and stir to coat-- the flour is what will thicken your stew, and adding at this stage allows the flour to combine with the oil and prevent lumpies.
Next, add your lamb bones, which will help flavor your stew.
Add broth, beer (hair of the dog), potatoes, and bay leaf, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and let simmer for about 30 minutes until potatoes are softened.
Remove lamb bones and bay leaf and serve, topped with parsley.
Miracle Max's Miracle Pills
Yield: Enough for Two Mostly Dead People
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Additional Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour15 minutes
Anybody want a peanut? Here's a date stuffed with peanut butter, covered in chocolate-- 'cause "the chocolate coating makes it go down easier". HUMPERDINK.
Ingredients
1/2 cup Dark Chocolate Chips
1 tbsp Unsalted Butter
1/2 cup Dried Pitted Dates (about 5 or 6)
3 tbsp Peanut Butter
Instructions
First, stuff your dates. Dried dates have a natural seam where the pit was removed, just find it and spread with a knife to reveal the inner cavity where the pit used to be. Stuff with peanut butter and chill in the freezer for at least an hour.
Add about half an inch of water to a small saucepan and place a glass bowl over it-- be sure that the bottom of the bowl is not touching the water! Heat until you come to a very soft boil. Add the chocolate and butter to the bowl and melt, stirring frequently. This should result in a glossy chocolate coating.
Remove your peanut butter stuffed dates from the freezer and dunk them individually into the chocolate, covering thoroughly. Place in the freezer to cool slighly for about 15 minutes, meanwhile keeping your chocolate warm but being careful not to overcook.
When initial coating has hardened, remove once more from the freezer and brush a final coat of chocolate onto your peanut butter stuffed dates. Refrigerate until ready to serve!
EPILOGUE
If you haven’t seen it yet, go watch the Covid creation that was the Quibi celebrity home movie version of The Princess Bride. Quibi has since gone away but here’s a link that was still active at the time I updated this post. It’s a delight.
And, in case you didn’t know about it, here’s a link to the book upon which the film is based. My own grandfather would have been horrified that I hadn’t read it before seeing the movie. Don’t worry grandpa– I got there eventually.