Recipes for foodies and film nerds. Because life's too short for stale popcorn and crappy movies.
Boondock Saints: “A juvenile, ugly movie that represents the worst tendencies of directors channeling Tarantino.” Fair enough. But it’s still a fun ride and Sean Patrick Flanery is feckin’ hot. If you grew up in the 90’s, you’ve likely seen Boondock Saints and have since …
I’ve been wanting to tackle Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki for a long while, and luckily my fave in the collection– Howl’s Moving Castle– is a bit simpler culinarily speaking its companions. Don’t worry, I’ll get to Spirited Away eventually. Based on a fantasy novel …
Uncle Buck was a childhood fave of mine. Is it the best movie in the world? Maybe not. But it’s god damn funny, and it’s got a lot of food in it that I’ve always wanted to make. Namely, really enormous pancakes.
The plot itself is relatively simple–a family emergency forces a set of parents to leave their children in the care of their screw up uncle. Played by John Candy, Uncle Buck is well meaning, but has no idea how to handle kids because he himself is a big man child who can’t hold down a job or commit to his more than understanding girlfriend. Buck’s oldest niece Tia (Jean Louisa Kelly) is appropriately emo, and the two younger children (played by Gaby Hoffman and Macaulay Culkin just pre-Home Alone) are wonderfully adorable and precocious. Gaffs abound, and tensions run high between Uncle Buck and Tia regarding her sexual predator of a twiddle-dink boyfriend, but it all ends wrapped up in a lovely little emotional bow.
John Hughes has always been great at these types of films, and if you’re a fan of John Candy (RIP) and you haven’t seen Uncle Buck yet, you’re in for a fun little treat. So here is an epic brekkie menu to honor the the drill wielding, gas hog driving, cigar smoking, clown punching, sock microwaving, bowler supreme Uncle Buck. Much better than crappy takeout Chinese or a disgusting lunch of bad banana and sardines– but maybe more importantly, it’s a GREAT meal for a hangover (I see you, on this January 1).
Now take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.
(Ok that made no sense, but I love that line.)
Johnny cakes + candied bacon and smoky sausages for cigar smoking John Candy. How much more on point can you get? Unfortunately however, I don't have a giant griddle/grill in my kitchen, nor do I own a snow shovel for "easy" pancake flippage ala Uncle Buck. But I DO have a 15 inch paella pan. And I've been waiting to try this for a loooong time. Now, you could make all the johnny cake batter in one go and try to separate it into 3 equal portions. But, you run the risk of the batter losing air between bakes AND it's hard to find a receptacle big enough to fit all that goldeny wet deliciousness. So, the instructions below have you making a pancake at a time. Which, for the faint of heart/slight of stomach, means that you could stop at one. I don't know why you would, but hey-- you do you. If you're fully committed to the giant pancake effect, you're gonna need a giant pat of butter. So, before you start the pancake process, soften 4 tbsp of butter and create a 4x4 square-- I used a piece of tin foil to help mold it into shape before sticking it in the fridge to firm up. Now it's time to preheat your oven to 375 and get all your johnny cake ingredients together! Mix 1 1/2 cups of flour and 1/2 cup cornmeal in a small bowl. In a separate, larger, bowl add 3 eggs, 1/3 cup of sugar, 1 1/2 tbsp baking powder, 3/4 tsp baking soda, and 1 tsp salt. Next, whisk the egg mix until it is light and smooth, about 30 secs. Then add 1 1/4 cup of buttermilk and half of the flour/cornmeal mix (about a cup)-- whisk gently until just combined (you want lots of lumpies at this stage. Next, add 3 tbsp of melted butter, the remaining 1 cup of buttermilk, and the remainder of your flour/cornmeal mix. Mix to combine, but only just-- lumpies are still ok! Now it's time to prep your paella pan. Add 2 tbsp of veggie oil and 2 tbsp butter. Heat on medium high until the butter is fully melted-- swirl to coat the bottom of the pan fully. Quickly dump your pancake batter into the pan, scraping the sides of your bowl with a rubber spatula to get it all. Immediately reduce the heat to medium low, and allow to cook for a minute or two, shaking the paella pan slightly. When you start to see bubbles pop up on the surface of the batter, time to get it in the oven. Bake for roughly 20 mins-- you'll see the johnny cake puff up nicely in the oven as it cooks. Once it's set, remove it from the oven and allow to rest for 10 minutes. Place a large cookie sheet or cutting board over the top of the pan and invert it-- you should see a nice golden pancake drop onto the sheet/board. I'd say "this is where you separate the men from the boys"... but that's sexist. Keep warm on the stove, loosely tented with aluminum foil, and repeat the process all over again... and then again! While your last pancake is baking, feel free to get started on your meats. Typically breakfast sausages are easy-- you just fry them up in a pan until they get crispy and golden-y. For the bacon, I always start with a room temp pan and heat the bacon gradually to ensure crispness, flipping once or twice to cook on both sides. For the candied element, add about 3 tbsp of syrup to the pan just before your strips finish cooking and let them sizzle away for a minute or so, flipping once. Instead of draining on paper towels, lay your bacon strips apart from one another on a piece of parchment paper. The syrupy coating on the outside with firm up a bit and you'll end up with a chewy, but still crispy, slice of heaven. With all that done, you can assemble your breakfast mountain. The Miles's and Maisy's of your life will be thrilled. You should see the toast. I couldn't even get it through the door! For those of you reading this who have no idea what the hell a johnny cake is vs a traditional pancake-- Southern Living explains it well. An egg skillet with all the mustardy onions, bell peppers, and yes more sausage, you can eat! I passed on adding cheese tho. You don't wanna end up needing a toilet plunger at the end of the meal. We don't have to eat everything Buck does. Cue up Tweedle Dee by Lavern Baker and get crackin'. Literally. Hey look it's ingredients! In a cast iron skillet that will be your end destination for your scramble, heat your veggie oil on medium and add your onions. Sautee for a couple of minutes to soften slightly, then add your bell peppers, sausage, and a pinch of garlic powder. Whisk your mustard and worcestershershershire (I can never spell that right) together and toss that in too. Stir to coat everything, and move over to your eggs. It's time to multi-task: In a separate non-stick skillet, melt your butter on medium while you whisk your eggs in a bowl with salt and pepper. Add those to your non-stick skillet and reduce heat slightly, letting the bottom of the eggs set for 10 or so seconds before you swirl them with a spoon. At the same time, keep an eye on your peppers and kielbasa, making sure they don't burn! When your eggs are good and scramby, add those to your cast iron skillet and toss lightly with your sausages and veggies. Season with additional salt and pepper, if needed, and garnish with chopped chives. Holy smokes! Since Uncle Buck's little b of a neice Tia doesn't really do brekkie, I made her a brulee'd grapefruit-- bitter with a hint of salt, BUT sweet at the end. And if you're feeling a little Tia yourself, don't worry-- there's still coffee coming. Cut the grapefruit in half crosswise, and cut a thin slice off the bottom of each half to stabilize the pieces. Remove all seeds from the grapefruit that you can see, and loosen the segments with a sharp knife. Sprinkle each half evenly with the brown sugar and, using a blowtorch, brulee the sugar to form a golden brown and crispy surface. Sprinkle the hot sugar with the salt, and serve immediately. If you don't have a brulee torch, you can always stick your grapefruit close under the broiler for 3-5 mins, depending on how hot it gets. A breakfast cocktail that Uncle Buck would appreciate-- coffee and cereal milk and a lot of booze. They'reeeee Greeeeeat! Preheat oven to 300. Spread the cornflakes in an even layer on a sheet pan lined with parchment paper and toast for about 15 minutes. Cool completely. Reserve about 1/4 cup of your flakes for garnish. Then, add 3/4 of the flakes to your cream in one bowl, and 1 cup of flakes to your bowl of milk, stirring to make sure all of the flakes are as submerged as possible. Cover and set aside at room temperature for 20-30 minutes. Strain the flakes out of each mix and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. Just before you're ready to serve, use a hand beater or immersion blender to beat the cream and your sugar into stiff peaks. Pour your coffee, coffee liqueur, and whiskey into two glasses-- top off with cereal milk, followed by your cereal whipped cream, and garnish with reserved frosted flakes. If you find a stray flake, Buck knows what to do.
Johnny Cake Pancakes with Candied Bacon and Smoky Breakfast Sausages
Yield:
3 Huge Pancakes. It's. A lot.
Cook Time:
2 hours
Total Time:
2 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Recommended Products
Uncle Buck's "Garbage" Scramble
Yield:
3 Heaping Portions
Cook Time:
20 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Bittersweet Burnt Grapefruit
Yield:
2 Halves
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Frosted Flakes and Coffee Cocktail
Yield:
2 Cocktails
Cook Time:
2 hours 2 seconds
Total Time:
2 hours 2 seconds
Ingredients
Instructions
Omg there was an Uncle Buck SERIES? … and … ANOTHER SERIES?
Life is absurd. Going back to more pancakes.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Hocus Pocus– what a goofy ass time. Is it deserving of critical acclaim? No. But it’s a Halloween staple that everyone loves so much Disney just released a sequel 29 years later. And Sarah is STILL REALLY FUNNY! Both Hocus Pocus 1 & 2 star …
Little Miss Sunshine is one of those films that you’re thrilled exists– a wonderful family dramedy that is so well written and so well acted that it leaves you with hope for the film industry.
The movie opens with a relatively dark montage. Mom Sheryl (Toni Collette) picks up her brother Frank (Steve Carrell) from the hospital after an attempted suicide, while her husband Richard (Greg Kinnear) pushes some kind of self-help pyramid scheme to a half empty room of hopefuls, and her father in law (Alan Arkin) snorts heroin in the bathroom at home. Meanwhile kids Olive (Abigail Breslin) and Dwayne (Paul Dano) are in their own little worlds dreaming about making it big, each in their own way– Olive fawns over the beauty queens on TV, and Dwayne refuses to speak until he gets into flight school. Also he hates everybody.
When Olive finds out she’s made the cut as a Little Miss Sunshine contestant, however, the family’s weekend plans change. Time to crank up the old VW van for a 700 mile road trip inevitably fraught with all sorts of mishaps and character defining moments! Not to mention a stellar soundtrack featuring my fave Sufjan Stevens. Play me Chicago on a loop all day long and I’ll be happy. And generally, that’s how Little Miss Sunshine leaves me– happy, and very aware of the virtues of nonconformity. As Dwayne finally says, “you do what you love, and fuck the rest”.
Food is actually pretty important in Little Miss Sunshine– in addition to helping convey the obvious messages about body image, meals set the stage for several key interactions between Hoover family members. So, I’ve picked a few of the foods from the film, adjusted them a bit, and mashed them all together in one sunny brunchy meal. Hopefully it will leave you as satisfied as the movie.
Just like Olive, this mimosa-esque cocktail is full of passion and sunshine. More importantly, it goes really well with waffles. Mix all ingredients and garnish with an orange wheel. Feel free to multiply as you see fit! What can I say, the bucket of Dinah's southern fried chicken caught my eye-- a delicious fast food-y treat that also serves as a wonderful culinary accompaniment to the dominant emotion at the Hoover dinner table. Fear of failure seems to affect everyone but Grandpa-- no wonder he fucking hates the chicken. But also, fuck-- it's really good. Start by quick brining the chicken pieces: pour buttermilk, hot sauce, and 1/2 tsp of the garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, black pepper; 2 tsp of the paprika and 1 tbsp salt into a gallon sized ziploc. Add chicken to buttermilk brine, and refrigerate for 3-4 hours. Lift chicken piece by piece from buttermilk and dredge in flour mix, packing tightly to form large clumps of flour coating each piece. Allow to sit on a baking rack set atop a foil lined baking sheet for 5-10 mins while you set up your frying sitch. First, preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Then, fill a 12-inch cast iron skillet with enough oil and your bacon grease to come halfway to the top. Using a candy/clipon thermometer, raise the temp to medium high and get the oil up to 350 degrees. Add chicken, skin side down, to the hot oil. Note, the temperature will drop to around 325 degrees-- you want to keep the oil steady at this temp. Fry until you get a deep golden brown on the first side, about 6 minutes; then flip the chicken pieces with tongs and cook until the second side is golden brown, about 4 minutes longer. Your breast will take a couple of minutes longer, since its a far bigger cut. If you happen to have a whole chicken that you aren't sure how to break down, Serious Eats has you covered. And, if you have more questions about frying chicken-- here is a VERY good article listing all the things you SHOULDN'T do. Waffles are a light and fluffy necessity when it comes to brunch. This particular batch is made with olive oil-- for obvious Little Miss Sunshine reasons. Waffle assembly is all about mixing dry ingredents and wet ingredients separately before putting the batter together. Start with the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in on medium bowl. In a second bowl, whisk eggs with milk, oil, and vanilla until combined. Add milk mixture to your dry ingredients and stir-- lumpies are ok! Pour batter into preheated waffle iron-- depending on size you'll need to follow instructions but my waffle iron takes about 1/2 a cup at a time. Cook for about 2 minutes (but again, refer to your iron instructions) until waffles are golden brown. Set aside on a parchment paper lined baking sheet, NOT one atop the other or they'll get too soft. Serve immediately, or otherwise cover loosely with foil until ready to top with all the fixin's. A salty sweet treat for a salty set of characters to complete our Little Miss Sunshine brunch-- and one that I'm 100% positive all the Miss cities/states/countries/universes would appreciate. I know Olive ordered chocolate, but if she'd only known... First, add the syrup to a medium saucepan and place it over medium-high heat. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to medium, and continue boiling for about 3 to 4 minutes, or until it has reduced to about half a cup. Add cream, milk, and salt and bring back to a boil. Remove from heat. In a separate bowl, whisk egg yolks, and then pour 1/4 of your milk mixture slowly into your egg mixture, whisking all the time-- this will keep your eggs from going scramby. Add the egg mix to the rest of the heated cream and whisk vigorously over low heat. Add vanilla, and continue to whisk until the cream thickens so that the below happens: Pour over a mesh strainer into another bowl to get all the solids out: Chill mixture in the refrigerator, about 2 hours and then add to your ice cream device. Churn according to instructions, and refreeze as needed. And holy hell, it's better than heroin. Not that I know what heroin is like. But I'm confident that grandpa would've enjoyed it. Sweet sweetness!
Liquid Sunshine
Yield:
1 cocktail
Cook Time:
2 minutes
Total Time:
2 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
It's the F*cking Chicken
Yield:
2 Servings
Prep Time:
3 hours
Total Time:
3 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Just before frying, whisk together flour and the rest of the spices (those + amounts in the ingredients list). Drizzle 3 tablespoons of buttermilk brine into the flour and gently toss-- clumpies are ok. 
Move chicken back to your wire racked baking sheet and place in the oven. Bake for 15-ish minutes until the breast hits about 150 degrees at its thickest part and the other pieces get to 165. Allow to rest for another 5-10 minutes before chowing down.
Notes
Olive Oil Waffles
Ingredients
Instructions
Salted Maple Ice Cream A La Mode-y
Yield:
1 Pint
Ingredients
Instructions
Abigail Breslin’s eyeballs should have won a fucking Oscar. Seriously, LOOK AT HER!
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
This past weekend was my oldest friend’s birthday. Coincidentally, he’s also the person who helped me start this blog. So I figured what better way to celebrate him than to attempt (for the fourth or fifth time) a menu perfectly matched to his favorite movie: …
ON THIS DAY 30 years ago, Thelma & Louise drove across the country in a blue Thunderbird and into the annals of feminist film history. It’s one of those movies I rediscover every 10 years– funny, tragic, and (sadly) still so relevant, Thelma & Louise was written …
You’ve never seen it miss this house, and miss that house, and come after you! That’s right, it’s… DUN DUN DUUUUUNH… TWISTER!
But actually, other than that one line, this movie is a wonderfully suspenseful thriller– I would even say it’s one of the top natural disaster movies ever. When Twister was released in ’96, its PG-13 rating was awesomely clarified by the film’s “intense depiction of very bad weather.” FAIR ENOUGH– myself included, many a 13 and older movie goer became fascinated with the occupation “storm chaser” after watching this badass movie. Twister made NOAA and NSSL super cool, and paved the way for big budget disaster flicks like Armageddon and Day After Tomorrow. It’s the wonder of nature, baby!
Yes, we mostly have Speed director Jan de Bont and Amblin to thank for Twister. But I have to give an F5 shoutout to the stellar cast led by Helen Hunt and the late Bill Paxton. In addition to the nice little side love story between these two main characters (Do we believe it? Do we even care that much? SHOW ME MORE TORNADOS), you also have a tornado chasing team of recognizable faces including antagonist Cary Elwes and sidekick Phillip Seymour Hoffman– who is basically just being Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Dusty with Goo Goo Dolls playing in the background. I’ll take it.
Together, these maniacs track down and almost (or in some cases not almost) get sucked up by multiple twisters of varying magnitudes– they dodge exploding trucks, air borne houses, and bovine debris all within a very anxious 48 hour period. And I would pay good money to see Twister on big screen again, because the special effects still hold up after 25 years.
So, for this awesomely stressful flick I decided to pay homage to the one great heart attack inducing meal to appear in Twister– Aunt Meg’s steak and egg lunch. Add in the mashed potatoes and Meg’s famous gravy, and you have a Midwestern spread that will make you so heavy even a tornado couldn’t pick you up.
Time for fffffoooood!! FOOOOOD.
Apparently this one time, while naked and drunk on Jack Daniels, EXTREME storm chaser Bill Harding (/Paxton) strolled up to a twister, said "have a drink", and chucked the bottle into the twister. And it NEVER hit the ground. So here's a cocktail for the most outta control son of a bitch in the game-- a simple drink that may or may not cause imminent rueage should you have one too many. Use Pepsi in honor of the overwhelming product placement throughout the movie Twister, as well as a twist of lemon because... duh. Pour first three ingredients over ice and give it a single swirl-- top off with a twist of lemon and get ready to cheers a tornado. YOU'RE IN THE SUCK ZONE NOW. WE GOT COWS. Unlike Aunt Meg, I did NOT slaughter my own-- but this red meat + fried egg combo will satiate any storm chaser who craves sustenance before hitting the road. Sure, it may also give you a heart attack, but if you're likely to get sucked up by a twister you might as well eat good first, amiright? 30 mins before cooking, pat steaks dry with paper towels and season liberally with salt and freshly cracked pepper. Allow to rest at room temperature. Remove steak and cover your egg occupied pan to allow your whites to set-- the pan will still be hot enough for the eggs to cook in several minutes. In the meantime, tent your steak loosely with foil and allow to rest for 5 minutes, thereby allowing all those meaty juices Dusty loves to redistribute. When you are ready to eat, be sure to cut your steak against the grain-- serve alongside sunnyside up (the irony) eggs, sprinkled with more salt and pepper. For a thinner steak, reduce cooking time to 7 mins total for medium rare. You can't live in the Midwest, let alone Tornado Alley, without an affinity for potatoes. These are whipped, because that seemed more appropriate for Twister, and drowned in my version of Meg's gravy-- which is famous. It's practically a food group. Hey look, it's your gravy ingredients! In mini food processor, pulse carrot, celery, garlic and onion; pulse until all vegetables are broken down. Strain and add to a mixing bowl. Using electric beaters (we want these suckers whipped up like an F5 came at 'em), beat your potatoes with your warm milk, 1/2 tsp salt, and remaining 3 tbsps butter. Cover and keep warm while you finish up your gravy. Strain gravy through fine-mesh strainer into clean saucepan, discarding solids. Add more salt and pepper to taste, and serve atop your whipped 'tatoes. You can make your gravy up to a week in advance, refrigerated.
Jack and Pepsi with a Twist
Cook Time:
2 minutes
Total Time:
2 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Steak and Eggs
Prep Time:
30 minutes
Cook Time:
15 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Next, heat oil in a cast iron skillet over high heat. Add steak to pan and cook for five minutes. Flip, add 1 tbsp butter to the top of the steak, and continue to cook for four minutes more. Remove from heat, shove your steak over, and add final tbsp of butter followed by your eggs. Feel free to take a photo, but be quick-- you don't want your steak to overcook!
Notes
Recommended Products
Whipped 'Tatoes and Meg's Gravy
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
30 minutes
Total Time:
30 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Heat butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat; add vegetables and cook until caramelized, about 5 minutes. Stir in flour and cook until flour smell dissapates. Whisking constantly, gradually add broths; bring to boil, then reduce heat to low. Add herbs (and whiskey, if you dare) and continue to simmer, whisking occasionally, until thickened (about 25 minutes).
While your gravy simmers away, peel and cube your potatoes into 1 inch chunks. Add to a salted pot of water and set over high heat. Bring to a boil, and cook until potatoes are softened (about 15 minutes). 
Notes
Yet another talent gone too early– RIP Bill Paxton, and Happy Birthday on this May 17th. I’d heard that when he passed, meteorologists across Kansas and Oklahoma modified their GPS locations to form the actor’s initials:
And that’s neat :).
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
If you are reading this at the beginning of April– here is a not-so-traditional movie menu for Easter! At first you may not think Monty Python and the Holy Grail fits the spring holiday vibe, but think again. You’ve got religion (God be praised!), gatherings …
