10 Things I Hate About You
At some point I’ll have a series of menus based on movies from the 90’s that are actually based on literature– there were THREE in 1999 alone! So let’s start with the best of those, 10 Things I Hate About You.
Loosely based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, 10 Things stars Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger (in his first American movie), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Larisa Oleynik, and a bunch of other stars from the 90’s. Sure, it’s a cliche film at this point, but it’s still fun watching Julia as Kat verbally annihilate most of the people she comes across. It’s worth noting too that some of the best performances in the film are not actually given by the film’s young actors– nope it’s Allison Janney as the sex-mad counselor, Daryl “Chill” Mitchell as the English teacher with attitude, and Larry Miller as Kat/Bianca’s overprotective father who shine. I could watch a movie with just those three all day. But in the meantime, the youths do an ok job. Even Andrew Keegan (who turned into a cult leader in real life– fun!).
I won’t bother going through the plot of 10 Things I Hate About You in great detail (guy crushes on girl, hires another guy to take out his girl’s sister, and everybody ends up happy blah blah). Just watch the trailer. Then, make all of the foods below and thank all the gods you believe in that we made it out of high school alive.
The Movie
The Menu
... though it's strong enough that you might also end up dancing on a table. Add all of the ingredients except the beer to a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake vigorously untill fully chilled, and pour into two cups filled with ice. Top off with beer and cue some Biggie. For Kat, who's likes include Thai food, feminist prose and angry-girl music of the indie-rock persuasion. Begin with the peanut sauce-- mix all of the first ten ingredients in a bowl until fully incorporated. Then, gather the remaining ingredients. Toss everything together, garnishing with cilantro and chopped peanuts. Inspired by Aussie native Heath, but really this recipe is for Ms. Perky-- ever the champion of engorged, swollen, turgid, tumescent bratwursts pulsating with desire. I even made legit Australian tomoato sauce! It's different from ketchup, trust me. Start with your sauce! Add all of your tomato sauce ingredients to a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, and simmer, stirring occasionally, for about an hour. In a non-stick skillet, add olive oil and heat on medium-low. Add minced onions and cook until caramelized, stirring frequently to prevent the onions from burning (about 10 mins). Allow to cool slightly, and mix with the innards of your brats, squeezed out of their casings. Whisk the egg and brush the edges of your pastry. Add your sausage in a line lengthwise in the middle of your puff pastry, and pull the edges around it to create a long, quivering, pork filled roll mmmmm. Cut into four equal pieces and place on a parchment paper lined cookie sheet. Brush with additional egg wash. Bake at 400 for roughly 25 minutes, until pastry is golden brown. Serve with your tomato sauce and follow up with a cold shower you dirty, dirty girl. Poor Cameron-- the boy who learns French for dummy Bianca. He earned his own recipe. Add vinegar, salt, 2 qts of water to a large stock pot and bring to a boil-- throw in your parsnip fries and cook for about 7 minutes until tender, but not falling apart. Remove from heat with a strainer and allow to come to room temperature. Drain each batch on paper towels, and allow to come to room temperature. After about 30 minutes, bring your oil back up to frying temp, and fry your batches again-- about 3 minutes each. You're looking for a golden brown color. Allow to drain briefly on paper towels while you mix up your mayo and dijon. Serve hot with some flaky salt! These are actual cookies from a place in the UK called Shrewsbury, and were a fave treat of Queen Elizabeth (who in turn really liked her Shakespeare). THE CONNECTIONS. Preheat your oven to 375. In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add in egg, and continue to mix until fully incorporated. Then, gradually add the flour until a rough dough forms. Finish off with the caraway seeds, lemon zest, and salt. Form into golf-size balls and place on a parchment lined cookie sheet. Chill for about 15 minutes, and then flatten slightly with a glass. Bake for roughly 15 minutes or until edges of the cookies just about begin to turn golden brown. Cool on a wire rack. While you wait, mix half and half with powdered sugar until you get a spreadable mixture. Spread over the top of each cookie, and (using a brush or your fingers), flick with food coloring to resemble paint splatters. Chill to allow icing to harden for at least 30 minutes before serving.
Tequila Party Punch (Way Better than the high school stuff)
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Spicy Vegan Thai Noodle Salad
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(Tumescent) Aussie Sausage Rolls
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Tomato Sauce (NOT KETCHUP)
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Puis-je vous offrir un panais... frite?
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While you wait, heat oil in a deep skillet and heat to roughly 380 degrees (I use a candy thermometer to make sure I've got the right temp). Add your thyme sprig to the oil and fry the parsnips in two batches, about 1 minute each. Temperature will fluctuate as you add and remove batches, so play with your gauge and wait between batches to make sure you stay at around 380. 
Shrewsbury Cookies, Paintballed
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Epilogue
Clueless is next guys, in case you’re like, curious.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!