Grabbers

Instructions

For each of these, just mix and drink. It's that easy. Just. Keep. Drinking.

BLOOD OF AN IRISHMAN COCKTAIL:

1 ounce rye whiskey (or bourbon)
1 ounce Campari
1 ounce sweet vermouth
Ice

BABY GUINNESS

2 fluid ounces coffee flavored liqueur (to help keep you awake)
½ fluid ounce Irish cream liqueur

(Pour in this order-- the cream will float to the top just like foam on a Guinness)

GREEN BEER

Any Lager
Couple Drops of Green Food Coloring

It's so easy. That's why I put it last.

Also feel free to have even more beer. AND TEQUILA!

Instructions

Begin with your tartar sauce-- mix the first nine ingredients thoroughly and refrigerate until ready to use.

About an hour before you want to fry your fried grabber/calamari, soak your squid pieces in milk. This helps get rid of any residual fishiness.

In the meantime, assemble your batter. Whisk together flour, cornstarch, beer, egg, and salt in a medium-sized bowl. It's ok if there are a couple of lumps-- those will crisp in the hot oil as you fry!

Pour oil into a large dutch oven. Heat to a temp of about 350°F-- but be careful! You want to maintain that temperature, so if you have a thermometer that attached get that ish out.

Dry squid with paper towels, and drop each piece into the bowl of batter.

When oil is around 350°F., begin to dredge your squid pieces in the batter. Drop several pieces into the hot oil using a plastic slotted spoon, batches at a time. Continue to ddjust heat to keep temperature at about 350 and cook squid pieces in batches until they are golden brown, two to three minutes per batch.

Drain fried GRABBER on a baking sheet covered with paper towels. Serve with tartar sauce, malt vinegar, and some lemon slices.

Instructions

IF you haven't already cooked your corned beef, feel free to use this simple recipe:

Remove corned beef from packaging and place in a 6 qt dutch oven. Assemble your pickling spices (ingredients 2-9).

Add pickling spices, Guinness and enough water to come halfway up the meat-- braise for 2 hours until juicy and tender. For nachos, shred and set aside in some residual cooking juices to maintain moisture.

Next, let's quick pickle some cabbage! VERY thinly slice your green cabbage and mix Red Wine Vinegar, Hot Water, 1/2 tbsp Sugar and 1/2 tsp Kosher Salt. Allow your cabbage to sit in your vinegar-y liquid while you prepare the rest of your foodstuffs (up to 24 hours if you're making things ahead).

Now for your potato crisp base. Preheat your oven to 425. Using a mandolin, thinly slice your russets in circles and dry on paper towels.

Place on parchment lined paper and spray with olive oil. Sprinkle with table salt and garlic powder. Bake for 10-15 minutes until one side is beginning to brown. Flip each soon-to-be potato crisp, and continue to bake for another 10 minute or so. Remove from the oven and set aside in a warm place.

FINALLY-- it's time for the Guinness Irish Cheddar cheese/queso. This stuff is GOOD, and only requires four ingredients:

Melt the cream cheese with the beer in a small sauce pan over medium heat. Add cheddar and mustard and stir until fully melted and drizzle-able. Reduce heat to low, and get ready to assemble your Irish Nachos.

Feel free to lay a base of cheese, followed by your potatoes. Add corned beef, a handful of pickled cabbage, more drizzles of cheese, a sprinkling of paprika, and top off with your sliced scallion greens and parsley. It'll have you up on the bar dancin' a drunken jig it's so good.

Instructions

Peel potatoes and boil in a pot of salted water for 20-25 minutes until fork tender. In the meantime, soft boil two eggs for six and a half minutes ONLY-- no more and no less. Set both aside, and assemble the rest of the ingredients.

Melt your butter over medium heat and add onions, cabbage, kale, and a pinch each of salt and pepper. Saute for about ten minutes until softened.

Add half and half to the pot and bring to a simmer. Turn off heat and add your potatoes. Mash with a potato masher until mostly smooth-- you've just made Irish Colcannon! (albeit a not-so-creamy version since we're frying it up)

Using plastic wrap to help you mold the potato mixture, encase each of your eggs in your colcannon, being careful not to squeeze too hard and burst your yolks.

Refrigerate for at least an hour, covered, to help the potato mixture set.

In the meantime, ready your breading station-- first flour, then egg, then panko.

When ready to fry, heat oil to 350 and gently submerge your eggs one at a time. Fry until golden brown-- 1 to 2 minutes-- and allow to drain on paper towels.

Slice in half and watch as all that gooey yellow goodness cascades down the side of creamy fried mash potato...