Tag: cheese

Auntie Mame

Auntie Mame

Starring the incomparable Rosalind Russell (ie the star of His Girl Friday and many other fast talking classics), Auntie Mame is a long time personal favorite. Initially set during the Prohibition era, the film follows bohemian socialite Mame Dennis, who is granted custody of her 

Howl’s Moving Castle

Howl’s Moving Castle

I’ve been wanting to tackle Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki for a long while, and luckily my fave in the collection– Howl’s Moving Castle– is a bit simpler culinarily speaking its companions. Don’t worry, I’ll get to Spirited Away eventually. Based on a fantasy novel 

Mermaids

Mermaids

1990’s Mermaids is the perfect movie for Mother’s Day– or, alternatively, any mothers/daughters out there who live for driving each other nuts no matter what day it is. Fair warning though, you’re likely to relive some excruciatingly embarrassing moments from your youth as you watch.

Set in the early 1960’s, Mermaids follows single mom Ms. Rachel Flax (Cher) and her two daughters Charlotte (Winona Ryder) and the friggin’ ADORABLE Kate (Christina Ricci) as they relocate to a charing New England town. This seems to be standard practice for promiscuous Ms. Flax, who defines death as “dwelling on the past or staying in one place too long!” Charlotte, by contrast, is obsessed with Catholicism (despite her Jewish heritage) and yearns for some semblance of stability as she makes her way through the awkwardness that is high school. And Kate– well she just really likes to swim.

Enter a couple of new men to shake things up for the Flax ladies, in the form of sassy shoe store owner Lou (Bob Hoskins) and the beautiful handyman Joe (Michael Schoeffling aka Jake Ryan) who lives in a convent next door. Torn between her delusional commitment to Jesus and her attraction Joe’s quiet hunky-ness, Charlotte Flax is constantly in flux– not to mention at constant war with her shifty, clever, sexy AF mother.

Mermaids is a film full of heart, fun music, witty dialogue, and really great clothes (the mermaid costume alone…). Coincidentally, it’s also full of snacks– the word is “hors d’oeurves”. “Fun Finger Foods” is Ms. Flax’s main source book and that’s all the woman cooks. Anything more, she says, is too big a commitment.
 
With that in mind, I’ve created a Mermaids movie menu that would feel perfectly in line with Ms. Flax’s best/easiest. Which in the Flax household might have a double meaning…
 

The Movie

 

The Menu

give me fever

"You Give Me Fever" Cocktail

Yield: 2 cocktails

HIT ME Saaaaargent! Here's a perfectly fizzy and dangerously sweet cocktail with just enough OOMPH to either get you real calm, or to behave like a woman about to go forth in sin.

Ingredients

  • 4 oz Scotch
  • 1 1/2 oz Brandy
  • 1 oz Maraschino Cherry Juice
  • 1 oz Lemon juice
  • Ginger Beer
  • 2 Maraschino Cherries
  • 2 Pieces Candied Ginger

Instructions

Pour all the ingredients over ice, stir, and try not to get sloppy (KATE).

Mermaids Goldfish Cheeseball Pickups

Goldfish Cheeseball Pick-Me-Ups

Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes

The first of several finger foods, and one that Ms. Flax specializes in-- plus some goldfish for Olympian hopeful Kate.

Ingredients

  • 1 cup Cream Cheese (I used low fat to make myself feel as though I could one day slip into a Cher-sized dress)
  • 1 cup finely grated Colby Jack Cheese, 2 tbsp reserved
  • 1/4 cup finely grated Parmesan Cheese, 1 tbsp reserved
  • 2 tbsp Sour Cream
  • 2 tbsp Minced Onion
  • 3 tbsp Minced Orange Bell Pepper
  • 1/2 tsp Hot Sauce
  • 1/4 tsp Garlic Powder
  • 1/4 tsp Dried Dill
  • 1/4 tsp Dried Oregano
  • 1/4 tsp Salt
  • 1 tbsp Minced Parsley, divided
  • Goldfish Crackers
  • Pretzel Sticks
  • Chives

Instructions

Gather all your cheese ball ingredients (ie the first 11 items in the above list). Once fully mixed, refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

Scoop 2 heaping tbsps of your cheese ball mix at a time and roll into balls. Pulverize a couple of handfuls of goldfish crackers, leveraging any and all mother-daughter angst you might be harboring-- you can use a mini food processor or your bare hands. Add to a small bowl and toss with your reserved cheeses and parsley-- roll your cheeseballs in this mix until they are fully coated.

Stick a pretzel into the top of each ball to facilitate "pick-me-up" status, and tie a piece of chive where the pretzel meets the ball into a pretty little bow for presentation. And, just for Kate, stick a whole goldfish cracker into the side of each ball.

Mermaids Goldfish Cheeseball Pickups

mini franks baked

Mini-Franks in Everything Bagel Pastry

Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes

Definitely not Kosher.. but the everything bagel crust and cream cheese gets us closer to Ms. Flax's pre-coital snack tray for Lou! I opted out of the little American flag toothpicks...

Ingredients

  • 1 sheet puff pastry, thawed and rolled out according to packaging
  • 1 12-ounce pack of little smokies (I used pork)
  • Deli Mustard
  • Cream Cheese
  • 1 large egg, beaten
  • 2 tablespoons everything bagel seasoning

Instructions

Preheat oven to 425°F, and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Cut your puff pastry into squares the length of your lil smokie sausages, and wide enough to wrap around them (they should just barely peek out of the ends).

Place a tiny dollip of cream cheese on each puff pastry rectangle, followed by a ploop of mustard. Roll your sausages in each puff pastry rectangle.

Place each mini dog seam side down onto the baking sheet at least once inch apart.

Beat your egg thoroughly and brush over the top of each pig in the blanket. Then sprinkle each with a bit of the everything bagel seasoning blend, pressing ever so slightly to make sure the bits stick.

Bake for about 17 minutes, or until pastry is puffed and golden brown. Serve immediately.

mini franks baked

Notes

The pigs in a blanket can be pre-assembled and refrigerated the night before serving-- I'd just avoid the egg wash and everything topping, as the piggies can start to get soggy.

real sandwiches

Real Sandwiches a Man Can Sink His Teeth Into

Yield: 4 sandwiches
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes

Charlotte laboring over manly sammies to impress Joe and her mother ruining them with a cookie cutter is so pathetic and adorable...

That said, I couldn't commit to bologna and American cheese. It was just too... ick. So ham and "holy" (pun alert) swiss it is.

Ingredients

  • 3 Pieces Large Sandwich Bread
  • 1/2 lb Thick Sliced Ham
  • 1/4 lb Swiss Cheese
  • 2 tbsp Whole Grain Mustard
  • 3 tbsp Mayonnaise
  • Cocktail Olives for Garnish (optional)

Instructions

Using a star shaped cookie cutter, cut your sammich bread, ham, and cheese into fun shapes-- I recommend doing these separately so as to not waste the sammich borders (use the bread for panzanella later or something!).

Mix your mayo and mustard for your sammich schmear and assemble! Top off with a cocktail olive if you prefer-- just make sure they're sans pimentos (they give Kate hermias. ahem hives).

real sandwiches

mermaid kebabs

Mermaid Marshmallow Kebabs

Yield: 3 Kebabs
Prep Time: 12 hours
Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 12 hours 45 minutes

Ms. Flax's Marshmallow Kebabs, but with slightly more nutritional value. And, with a touch of mermaid essence.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 tsp Blue Food Coloring
  • 2 drops Green Food Coloring
  • 1 cup Water
  • 9 Large Marshmallows
  • 6 Blueberries
  • 1/2 Kiwi

Instructions

Mix your water and food coloring thoroughly in a mixing bowl or glass. Place your marshmallows into the color bath and allow to sit for a while, rotating every few minutes until even coloring is achieved.

marshmallow dye

While you wait, line a baking sheet with wax paper. Use this to dry your mallows, patting them halfway through to create a glitter/speckle effect. Allow for several hours or up to overnight to dry. In the morning they will be sticky, so use a clean basting brush to dust them with corn starch.

When you're ready to serve "dinner", peel and cut your kiwis into chunks. Using appetizer forks, alternate mallows and blueberries and kiwi chunks.

mermaid kebabs

The more you can fit on a stick the better! Vitamins...

 

Epilogue

The only epilogue this movie could or should ever have:

The hairdo’s alone..

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

The Menu

The Menu

I loved The Menu. So much that I’m a little concerned I have rage issues and/or violent tendencies…but the self aware part of me is also tickled that The Menu makes fun of people like ME– “foodies” who spend too much money on groceries, who 

Moonstruck

Moonstruck

Turns out Moonstruck is 35 years young this month, and it also happens to be a holiday film. So happy Christmas Eve– time to celebrate with a bunch of classic Italian dishes and a lotta booze! When Moonstruck was released in 1987, Cher had already 

Hocus Pocus 1 & 2

Hocus Pocus 1 & 2

Hocus Pocus– what a goofy ass time. Is it deserving of critical acclaim? No. But it’s a Halloween staple that everyone loves so much Disney just released a sequel 29 years later. And Sarah is STILL REALLY FUNNY!

Both Hocus Pocus 1 & 2 star Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy as the infinitely evil/hilarious Sanderson sisters– witches who were hanged in Salem 300+ years ago who can only be brought back if a virgin (god, high school was rough) lights a certain magic candle on All Hallow’s Eve. Set to guard the flame is Thackeryyyy (pronounced with a trill) Binx– a colonial boy who was cursed by the sisters and is now a talking cat. … Stay with me. Thackery goes a full 300 years without encountering a child idiotic enough to light the candle, until tie-dye wearing teenager Max Dennison decides he wants to impress a girl. What follows is a lot of witchy hijinks, one bad and one good musical number, and little sister Dani screaming a lot. What follows further still (29 years later, to be exact) is more of the same with some origin story thrown in. So it made for a not too complicated Two Crumbs Up double feature night!

So here is a menu for this Halloween (and the next, and the next, amokamokamok) for BOTH of the Hocus Pocus films. It’s no child on toast, but there are cat treats for Binx and Cobweb! Just don’t forget the salt…

 

The Movie(s)

 

The Menu

black flame candle cocktail

Black Flame Cocktail

Yield: 2 cocktails
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes

A cocktail inspired by the infamous Black Flame Candle-- despite the cherry, this is definitely not virgin territory, so don't bother trying to light it on fire. Looks like you'll have to wait another 300 years...

Ingredients

  • 1 cup frozen black cherries
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 2 tbsp orange juice
  • Pinch each of ground allspice, cinnamon, clove
  • 4 oz bourbon whiskey
  • High Quality Ginger Beer to top off
  • Garnish: Cherries and Orange Peel

Instructions

Start by making your black cherry syrup-- in a small saucepan, add cherries, sugar, water, orange juice, and your spices. Simmer on low heat until the sugar is completely dissolved and you have cherry mush and yummy luscious liquid.

cherry syrup

Strain out the cherries and discard, leaving cherry syrup (should be about a cup). Set aside to chill.

Add two oz each whiskey and spiced cherry syrup to your cocktail glasses and top off with ginger beer. Garnish with a piece of orange peel skewered around a black cherry, ends pointing up so they kinda look like a flame. It's all about the optics people.

Sanderson Sisters' Brew

Sanderson Sisters' Brew

Yield: 2 servings
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes

It's not lost on me that I've made soups for two other witchy movies in my repertoire-- but this Hocus Pocus one is soooooo good. Using a variation of traditional Three Sisters soup ingredients (squash, beans, corn), this brew is full of zucchini, peas, corn and sweet/salty creamy yumminess. IT'LL GIVE YOU LIFE!

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp Butter
  • 1 tbsp Olive Oil
  • 1 Leek, sliced (about 1 cup)
  • 3 Garlic Cloves
  • Pinch Roasted Red Pepper Flakes
  • 2 small Zucchini, seeds scooped out and cut into chunks (about 2.5/3 cups)
  • 2 1/2 cups Chicken Broth
  • 1/2 cup Peas
  • 1 Ear Corn (if frozen, thawed)
  • 1/3 cup Fresh Parsley Leaves
  • 1/2 cup Heavy Cream, plus more for garnish
  • Fresh Lemon Juice, to taste
  • Salt & Pepper, to taste
  • Green Pumpkin Seeds/Pepitas, for garnish

Instructions

Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca-- time that thou gatherest thy ingredients!

Sanderson sister soup ingredients

Heat butter and olive oil in a medium saucepan until butter is foamy. Add the sliced leeks and toss in a little salt and pepper. Cook for 5-7 minutes until caramelized, reducing heat if they begin to burn. Add the garlic cloves and red pepper flakes, cooking for a couple of minutes more to soften. Now, throw in your zuchinni chunks and toss to coat, adding another pinch or two to taste.

Pour in chicken broth and bring to a boil-- reduce eat, and allow to simmer for about 10 minutes or just until some of the broth is reduced and zucchini begins to soften. Lastly, throw in kernels from one ear of corn and your peas. Cook for a couple of minutes more, until all the veggies are cooked but not mushed.

soup midway

Remove from heat and, using an immersion blender or food processor, puree until the soup is bright green and mostly smooth. Add parsley leaves and cream and continue to puree until completely smooth-- squeeze lemon juice to taste, and add a bit more salt and pepper if needed.

When ready to serve, swirl some additional cream into the surface of the soup and top with pepitas.

Sanderson Sisters' Brew

Come little children, I'll taaaake thee awayyyyyy.

dead man's toe puff pastry

Dead Man's Toes

Yield: 8ish
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes

Can't make a witchy brew without DEAD MAN'S TOE, DEAD MAN'S TOE!

Don't worry, they're not Billy's-- poor man has been through enough.

Ingredients

  • 1 sheet of puff pastry
  • 2-3 tbsp aged cheddar, grated
  • 1 inch chunks ham steak
  • 1 small egg whisked with a splash of water
  • 1 sprig rosemary

Instructions

Roll your puff pastry out to be roughly 1/8 thick-- you may only need a partial sheet to start with. Using a small glass or cookie cutter, cut pastry into circles roughly 2.5 inches in diameter. Top each round with grated cheddar and a piece of ham, then wrap your little parcels like an open on one end burrito-- your little ham chunk should be sticking out like a recessed.. ahem.. toenail.

Usine a knife, make a few shallow lines in the pastra about halfway up the bundle to mimic toe joints, then press pieces of rosemary leaves into the soft dough to resemble stitches. You can do this on all, or some if you're patience is thin. Brush with egg wash.

dead man's toe

Bake at 425 for 15 minutes and hey presto-- like mini grilled cheeses with a really disgusting origin story.

caramel apple

Clark Bar Caramel Apple

Yield: 3
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Additional Time: 2 hours
Total Time: 2 hours 30 minutes

Poor Mayor Traske, Hocus Pocus 2's goofy public servant-- he just wanted a damn caramel apple. So here it is-- the best caramel apple I've ever made, covered in all of Satan's favorite Clark Bar ingredients from Hocus Pocus 1. It's devilicious, Master.

Ingredients

  • 3 small Granny Smith apples
  • Sticks for your apples (see note)
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 cup chilled heavy cream
  • 3 oz bittersweet chocolate chips
  • 1/2 tbsp shortening
  • 1 cup salted Spanish peanuts, chopped

Instructions

Stem and skewer your apples with sticks, then refrigerate until cold. In the meantime, add water, sugar, and salt to a small saucepan and heat on medium. Stir occasionally wit a fork until the sugar has dissolved completely, and then increase the heat slightly so that it's boiling. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until the syrup turns a lovely honey gold color (should take about 7-8 mins). Just be careful because it turns quickly!

Immediately add cream-- the mixture will sputter and look like it's going to overboil, but you'll be fiiiine. Just reduce the heat to medium-low, and stir constantly with a heat-resistant spatula for about 7 minutes. The caramel will continue to bubble and thicken. Transfer to a small heat-resistant bowl and cool to about 210F.

Dip cold apples in caramel, and let as much excess drip over the bowl before you move it over to rest on a parchment lined cutting board-- you can also use a knife to help scrape away the excess drippage from the bottom of each apple. Refrigerate once more for at least 30 minutes to allow the caramel to set.

Now, time for your chcocolate. In a microwave proof bowl, add chips and shortening. Microwave in 15-20 second increments over the course of a minute or two, stirring after each increment, until chocolate is completely melted-- you want it to drizzle, you DON'T want it to become torched.

caramel apple assembly

Now, time for final assembly. For the chocolate, best to start with a clean sheet of parchment paper, and do one apple at a time. Use a spoon to drizzle lines on the top and sides of each apple, rotating the paper for ease. Refrigerate for another 30 minutes to set the chocolate.

chocolate drizzle

Add peanuts to a deep bowl or tupperware, and press the bottom half of each apple into the bits. They should stick well, but might take a few rotations to get optimum crunch. Refrigerate for a final 30 minutes.

caramel apple peanuts

... and HUZZAH! Serioucly, it's salty, it's sweet, it's so much better than melting caramel candy that breaks your teeth...

caramel apple

Notes

I'm a dummy and forgot to get popsicle sticks. But if you have a spare set of chopsticks and some hefty wire cutters lying around, you'll end up with something even better!

cat treats

Cat Treats for Binx and Cobweb

Yield: 1 cup

There was no way I would ever let Thackery go hungry. And while Cobweb and I don't have the same history, I sense we might get there.

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp olive oil
  • 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp all purpose flour (and more for dusting)
  • 1 pinch salt
  • 1 tsp dried catnip
  • 1/3 cup finely shredded carrot
  • 1 small egg, lightly beaten

Instructions

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and preheat your oven to 375.

In a small bowl, mix oil and flour until you have a rough looking sand mixture. Stir in catnip, salt and grated carrot (I used a purple carrot for AESTHETICS), followed by your egg.

cat treat mix

At this point, if the mix feels too wet/sticky to form into a ball, add a couple of tbsp of flour in small doses.

Flour a cutting board and roll out your dough to be about 1/4 inch thick. Sprinkle the surface will a little extra flour. Now, using a pizza wheel or knife, cut your dough into 1/4-1/2 inch squares. Toss onto a baking sheet, and bake for about 13 minutes until your treats turn golden brown.

cat treats

Cool, and store in an airtight container for several days (or freeze!)-- your feline friends will not be disappointed.

 

Epilogue

Looking for more witchy menus? See below. Go nuts– blessed be.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Chef

Chef

Get ready to salivate– Chef is one of those foodie films that opens with food, closes with food, and has all the cooking, plating, and eating you could want in between.  A 2014 indie darling by Jon Favreau, Chef follows Carl Casper, a high-end LA 

The Goonies

The Goonies

HEEYYYY YOUUUU GUYYYYYS, it’s National Junk Food Day! Which could really be any day for me, especially if pizza is involved. And I’m relatively certain this would be the case for The Goonies too– which is why you now have a pirate-y, Chunk-y, highly fattening set 

A League of Their Own

A League of Their Own

So last month kind of sucked for women. Actually, it really really sucked. But all the more reason to watch A League of Their Own– 30 years old on July 1, 2022 and a wonderful film to spend your afternoon with if you’re not feeling very ra ra as a female this July 4. 

The All-American Girls’ Professional Baseball League was founded in 1943, when men’s baseball was put on pause during WW2. Of course, once the men came marching home, it survived only until 1954. A League of Their Own tells the story of the women ballplayers who first joined the league, and who worked tirelessly to prove themselves as star athletes in the face of overwhelming misogyny. 

First off, Penny Marshall is a badass female director who was making movies at a time when the industry was even more dominated by white men than it is now. For A League of Their Own, she insisted that all of the female actors be able to play baseball– and even though Geena Davis was cast at the very last minute, she very quickly overtook her fellow actors in all the hitting, running and sliding aspects of the game. Because, this movie was made by women who were as impressive as the women they played. Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell, Lori Petty, Megan Cavanagh, baby Tea Leoni, and so many more– all very unique characters who combatted the docile little housewife/mother archetypes and not only made it to the World Series but figured out how to market themselves getting there. 

I’m not forgetting Tom Hanks in his absolutely wonderful role as alcoholic coach Jimmy Dugan (THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL)– Tom Hanks is almost always terrific. But to dwell on him for too long would defeat the point of this post. It actually kind of bugs me that his pic in movie posters is more prominent than Geena, but bygones. Just watch the movie and maybe walk away with a little more optimism and determination than you might have before you started. And then, make a donation to the Geena Davis Institute. 

Time for the League of Their Own movie menu! It’s so many hot dogs– each one kind of regional, but more importantly, inspired by some of my favorite characters from the film. And a lotta liquor.

Batter uuuuup, hear that caaaall… the time has cooome, for one and aaaaaalll… to plaaaaay baaaaall!

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

bourbon peach smash

Rockford Peach & Bourbon Smash

Yield: 2 cocktails
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

A peachy cocktail for our favorite baseball team-- with a lot of bourbon for our favorite coach Jimmy Dugan. Drink enough and you might end up needing a 53 second bathroom break.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 oz brown sugar simple syrup
  • 1 large peach , diced
  • 3-4 large mint leaves
  • 4 oz bourbon
  • splash ginger beer (preferred) or seltzer water, chilled
  • mint/peach slices, for garnish

Instructions

Throw peaches, mint, and simple syrup into a cocktail shaker-- muddle gently to make sure all of the peach and mint flavors are extruded. Add the bourbon, and fill the shaker with ice-- shake until well-chilled, and strain into two glasses. Top off with ginger beer (or seltzer water if you must) and more ice. Garnish with fresh mint and a peach slice!

bacon wrapped dairy dog with peppers

Kit & Dottie Dog

Yield: 1 Dog

MULE! NAG! Here's a peppery hot dog fit for two bickering sisters from a farm outside of Portland-- and since there is no "Oregon style" dog, why not hybridize a Seattle and a California dog with some extra dairy? After all, both Dottie and Kit know their way around a cow's udders...

Ingredients

  • Toasted bun (see instructions)
  • Pork frank, split in half
  • Bacon
  • Cream Cheese, at room temperature
  • Sauteed Red and Yellow Bell Pepper
  • Sautéed Onions

Instructions

Toast your bun in a 400 degree oven for 5-ish minutes-- just keep an eye on it so that it doesn't burn! Set the bun aside to come to warm/room temperature.

Wrap your split dog with bacon and sear for a few minutes on each side until the bacon is extra crispy.

Schmear your cream cheese on one side of your bun, and add your bacon wrapped dog. Top with onions, followed by your duo of peppers.

all the way New York chili dog

All The Way Besties Dog

Yield: 1 Dog

Let's make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies! Time to fully load a New York/Coney Island style hot dog inspired by the League's sassy NYC besties Mae and Doris. Of course, Coney Island Dogs are actually from Michigan-- but HEYO so is Madonna. And there's plenty of beef and Irish cheddar for Rosie. A perfect meal after a sexy af night of swing dancing... and oops, maybe your bosoms come flying out?

Ingredients

  • Bun
  • 2 All-beef hot dog
  • Sauerkraut **SEE NOTE
  • Spicy Brown Mustard (Guldens preferred)
  • No Bean Chili, heated **SEE NOTE
  • Chopped Onion
  • Irish Cheddar

Instructions

Boil hot dogs in a small saucepan full of water for 4-5 minutes. They can sit in said water to keep warm while you prep the other ingredients-- that's just extra NYC.

Add your two dogs to your bun, load up one side with sauerkraut, one side with spicy mustard. Top with a load of chili, a sprinkle of onions, and a hefty portion of grated irish chedder. Place under the broiler for a minute to melt the cheese (yum) and eat the whole. damn. thing.

Notes

For the chili-- you can drastically reduce the ingredients of my Dick Tracy recipe here (ommitting the beans), or you can be lazy and go with store bought. There's a guide to the best ones here!

For an extra quick sauerkraut, you can combine a 1/2 cup of shredded cabbage with 1 tbsp of white vinegar and 1/3 cup water in a small saucepan. Cover and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until cabbage is tender (about 15 minutes).

Betty spaghetti dog

Betty Spaghetti Dog

Yield: 1 Dog

Poor Betty Spaghetti. She deserves her own damn dog, she went through it. War sucks.

Ingredients

  • 1 tsp Olive oil
  • hot dog bun
  • 1 Sweet Italian Sausage
  • 1/2 cup Tomato sauce **SEE NOTE
  • 1/2 cup cooked spaghetti noodles
  • Freshly grated parmesan, for garnish

Instructions

Spritz your bun with olive oil and toast in an oven at 400 degrees for 5-ish minutes until just crispy, but not burned. Set aside.

Grill/sear your Italian sausage for roughly 8 minutes on medium high, turning periodically to guarantee an even char. When done, slice at a bias into 1 1/2 inch chunks.

Toss spaghetti with hot tomato sauce and spiral with a fork-- place these pasta rounds into the bun and top with sausage chunks. Pour residual tomato sauce over your spaghetti dogs and top with grated parmesan.

Notes

You can use store bought if you like, but I have a from scratch pizza sauce recipe that is delightful in a pinch!

southern belle slaw dog

Southern Belle Dog

Yield: 1 Dog

Who knew beauty queen Ellen Sue and super shy Shirley Baker would each be such badasses in their own way? But THAT'S THE DAMN POINT. So here's a slaw dog (with some peaches, cause why not) for these two Southern belles.

Ingredients

  • 1/3 cup shredded cabbage
  • 1/2 tbsp mayonnaise
  • 1/2 tsp whole grain mustard
  • 1/4 tsp red wine vinegar
  • 1 tsp minced peach
  • 1/2 tsp minced red onion
  • salt & pepper, to tasteHot dog bun
  • Pork frank
  • BBQ Sauce, to drizzle **SEE NOTE

Instructions

Start with your slaw-- mix the milky whi--whiiiite mayo with the vinegar, mustard, peach and red onion. Toss with your cabbage and allow to sit for 30 minutes. The slaw should be at room temp anyway, duh. Flavor with salt and pepper as needed.

Grill pork frank for roughly 6 minutes, turning frequently for an even char. Add to bun and top with slaw. Drizzle with your favorite bbq sauce and mwah! If it wasn't sexist as all hell I'd say it's worth a kiss.

Notes

You can of course use your favorite bbq sauce-- but yep, I have a really good one already made here!

spicy burnt dog for marla hooch

She Aint "Pretty" But She Sure Can Hit

Yield: 1 Dog

Saying it now-- Colorado native Marla Hooch is my favorite Rockford Peach. I still can't watch the scenes with her dad. Crushes my soul.

But let's be real, she's the best ballplayer on the team-- despite the fact that at the beginning of the film, she's deemed not quite pretty enough for (THE IRONY) Jon Lovitz.

So here's a messy Colorado/Denver dog for Marla Hooch, who can get boozy as fuck and reel in a man when even Madonna's around. Because (and I know I'm repeating myself) she's the best.

Ingredients

  • Hot Dog Bun
  • Beef frank
  • Coors Beer
  • Green Chile
  • Sour Cream
  • Sliced Jalapeno

Instructions

Simmer hot dog in 1/2 cup of Coors beer for 5-6 minutes until plump. Then, char it over an open flame (gas or otherwise) until blackened.

Mix the green pepper, red onion, and sour cream. Add to the bun, together with your charred dog, and top with sliced jalepeno. What a hitter!

Canadian poutine dog

We've Got Canadians! Dog

Lol Alice, YOU'RE KILLIN' ME.

But as the resident Canadian on the team, she inspired me. Who doesn't love poutine?

Ingredients

  • Toasted bun
  • Beef frank
  • 1/2 cup French fries **SEE NOTE
  • 1/2 tbsp butter
  • 1 tsp flour
  • 1/3 cup beef broth
  • pinch garlic powder
  • pinch onion powder
  • splash Worcestershire sauce
  • salt & pepper, to taste
  • cheese curds
  • chives, for garnish

Instructions

Start with your super simple gravy-- melt butter in a non-stick pan, and add flour to make a roux. In other words, a flour butter paste, which will smell like popcorn when ready. Add your broth and seasonings-- stir until fully mixed and boiling. Reduce heat, and simmer until thickened (just a minute or two). Set aside and keep very warm.

Grill frank, turning frequently.

Place in bun and top with hot fries, cheese curds, and gravy. Sprinkle with chives as garnish.

Notes

Oh hey look I've made french fries before. And they're GOOD.

Have Another Chocolate Stillwell angel (w/cracker jacks)

Have Another Chocolate Stillwell angel (w/cracker jacks)

Yield: Enough already

Part of me wanted Evelyn to have all the hot dogs, but let's be real-- she was all about her Stillwell Angel. And Stillwell LOVED his chocolate. Even when it came with a mitt full of baseball spirit to the face. Insert craaaacker jacks here.

Ingredients

  • 16 oz semisweet (lol) chocolate
  • 2 1oz packages of cracker jacks

Instructions

In a double boiler, melt your chocolate. See method below.

Pour your melted chocolate into a small parchment paper lined baking dish-- the chocolate layer should be between 1/4 and 1/2 inch thick. While still warm. crush and crumble cracker jacks over the chocolate. Refrigerate (or freeze) until ready to eat and drive everyone around you bonkers, you spoiled brat.

 

Epilogue

This new series… I dunno… will it be good? I have hope. See you in August.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Ratatouille

Ratatouille

“If you are what you eat, then I only want to eat the good stuff.” Out of the mouths of rats… Ratatouille is, to this day, one of the best foodie films ever made. Even Anthony Bourdain thought so! Once you get past the very