Tag: cocktail

Boondock Saints

Boondock Saints

Boondock Saints: “A juvenile, ugly movie that represents the worst tendencies of directors channeling Tarantino.” Fair enough. But it’s still a fun ride and Sean Patrick Flanery is feckin’ hot. If you grew up in the 90’s, you’ve likely seen Boondock Saints and have since 

Auntie Mame

Auntie Mame

Starring the incomparable Rosalind Russell (ie the star of His Girl Friday and many other fast talking classics), Auntie Mame is a long time personal favorite. Initially set during the Prohibition era, the film follows bohemian socialite Mame Dennis, who is granted custody of her 

Elf

Elf

A film by Jon Favreau, Elf has become a holiday staple in American households. I have to be honest– I was not initially a fan (I’m a bit of a Christmas movie snob). But I’m now happy to say that I’m no longer a cotton headed ninny muggins, and have learned to greatly appreciate this goofy ass film. 

Maybe it’s the cast– Ed Asher as Santa Clause, and Peter Billingsly as a head elf? Come on. Or possibly it’s the various, comedic homages to Christmas claymation classics I love (the Narwhal might be my favorite character). OR it’s Peter Dinklage’s hilarious and enraged cameo. I could go on. But for the purposes of this post, let’s say it’s because Elf is kind of a foodie movie. Or, at least, it has a lot of food/food commentary in it. Let’s examine all of the nuggets of wonderful culinary advice Elf has to offer:

  • Don’t eat yellow snow.
  • If you see the gum on the street, leave it there. It’s not free candy.
  • The real Rays Pizza is on 11th. 
  • Real Santas DON’T smell like beef and cheese.
  • While you can eat cotton balls, they are not actually food.
  • Cookies don’t go in the VCR. Or a blu-ray player if you live in modern times.
  • Coffee with “syrup” is better.
  • Drinking Coca Cola too much and too fast will give you the burps.

It’s a friggin’ goldmine of gastronomic wisdom. 

So if you’re planning to watch Elf at some point during the holidays, here is a breakfasty/brunchy menu that will go perfectly with your screening. And, it actually tastes good– go figure!

The Movie

 

The Menu

elf spaghetti

Buddy's Breakfast "Spaghetti"

Yield: 2 Servings
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes

Potentially the most disgusting breakfast ever captured on film (though 3 Men & A Little Lady is a contender too)-- Buddy's spaghetti breakfast in Elf has been consumed at many a holiday party. I myself cannot get behind the thought of maple syrup on pasta, but why not be clever and make the spaghetti out of something a little less gross and far more breakfast-y-- crepes!

NOTE: this plate should never be served cold/room temp. It doesn't work. Heat is your friend here.

Ingredients

Crepes

  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 1/4 cups whole milk
  • 1 cup all purpose flour
  • 1 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 1/2 tsp sugar
  • pinch salt
  • 1-2 more tbsp of butter, cut into small pieces for cooking

Spaghetti Toppings

  • 1/2 tbsp butter
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • handful marshmallows
  • handful of m&m's
  • 1 pop tart (I used s'mores, but you do you), toasted and roughly crumbled
  • chocolate syrup, warmed, to top

Instructions

Start with your crepe batter! Combine your eggs, milk, melted butter, salt, and sugar with a hand mixer. Sift in flour, and continue to hand beat on medium until smooth.

Heat a small dollop of butter in a 10 inch nonstick skillet over medium heat-- spreading as it melts to lightly coat the pan. Pour 1/4 cup of batter into te heated pan, tilting the pan immediatelly to spread the batter into a thin even layer. Cook for roughly 30 seconds until the top begins to dry. Using a thin spatula, flip the crepe (you can use your fingers CAREFULLY to help). Cook for another 30 secs and transfer to a plate. Repeat with the remaining batter.

crepe assembly

Working with 2-3 crepes at a time, layered on top of one another, cut into very thin long strips-- this is your crepe spaghetti! Sure it looks more like linguini, but this was my first time making crepes and I was excited. Feel free to swirl your crepe pasta into swirls as you go, covering with plastic wrap to prevent them from drying out.

cut pasta

Once you're finished cutting your crepe sgetti, gather your pasta toppings. As mentioned, temperature is KEY here-- which means you need to TOAST your pop tarts before you crumble them, then keep them someplace warm.

spaghetti toppings

In the same crepe pan from before, melt 1/2 tbsp of butter-- toss in your crepe sgetti with syrup and heat till fully warmed through.

sautéed crepes

Plate your heated, syruped sgetti and add your toppings (inclusive of warmed chocolate syrup). If you want to add more maple syrup, feel free-- my sugar intake can't handle it but I'm no Buddy.

elf spaghetti

candied bacon

Maple Syrup Candied Bacon

Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

Because this meal needed something at least a LITTLE savory...

Ingredients

  • 4-6 strips bacon (depending on your appetite)
  • 3 tbsp maple syrup
  • Fresh cracked black pepper

Instructions

For the bacon, I always start with a room temp pan and heat the bacon gradually to ensure crispness, flipping once or twice to cook on both sides. For the candied element, add about 3 tbsp of syrup to the pan just before your strips finish cooking and let them sizzle away for a minute or so, flipping once. Just as the bacon is about to finish, add some freshly cracked black pepper.

candied bacon

Instead of draining on paper towels, lay your bacon strips apart from one another on a piece of parchment paper. The syrupy coating on the outside with firm up a bit and you'll end up with a chewy, but still crispy, slice of heaven.

candied bacon

snowball cookies

Snowball Cookies

Yield: 4 cookies
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes

These are not for throwing at other children, no matter how good your arm is.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup flour
  • 3 tbsp chopped walnuts
  • hefty pinch salt
  • 1/4 cup butter unsalted, softened
  • 1/8 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/4 tsp almond extract
  • 4 tbsp powdered sugar (half will be for dusting)

Instructions

Gather your ingredients together like good little elves, and preheat your oven to 375.

cookie ingredients

In a medium bowl, beat the butter and extracts with a hand mixer until smooth and creamy. Add half of your powdered sugar and beat on medium high until fully combined and little fluffy. Switch to low speed, and add the flour and salt--- when it's roughly incorporated, you can once again increase your beater speed until the dough comes together. Add in your nuts last, beating for just a bit to evenly distribute. Cover the dough and chill for 30+ minutes.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and divide your dough into four equal portions. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on parchment lined sheets. Bake the cookies until golden brown on the bottom edges and just barely browned on top, about 15 minutes. Allow the cookies to cool for 10 minutes on the baking sheet, then very gently roll them in the confectioners’ sugar to coat completely.

rolling cookies

Place the cookies on a wire rack to cool completely. You'll notice the powdered sugar will melt a bit, but that's fine-- we're going to reroll the cookies in sugar once more to get the "snowy" effect.

snowball cookies

Light, crumbly, and thankfully not TOO sweet.

The World's Best Cup of Christmas Coffee

The World's Best Cup of Christmas Coffee

Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

... because it has booze in it. Obviously. The guys in the Empire State mailroom would agree.

Ingredients

  • Coffee!
  • 1 shot of kahlua, per cup
  • 1/2 shot bourbon whiskey, per cup
  • 2-3 tbsp heavy cream or half and half, per cup, to taste
  • peppermint whipped cream (see note)
  • crumbled candy cane treats to top

Instructions

Brew your fave coffee (however many cups is up to you, though with the amount of sugar already in this meal, use caution). Add booze and cream/half and half, and top with peppermint whipped cream and smashed pepermint candies.

Notes

To make peppermint whipped cream-- see my standard whipped cream recipe here, but sub peppermint extract for the vanilla.

 

Epilogue

Me after this meal:

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

The Sandlot

The Sandlot

The Sandlot– a perfect movie for when it’s too hot to go outside and all you want is baseball themed junk food. If I can’t be as active as I was when I was a kid, at least I can still eat like one? I 

Mermaids

Mermaids

1990’s Mermaids is the perfect movie for Mother’s Day– or, alternatively, any mothers/daughters out there who live for driving each other nuts no matter what day it is. Fair warning though, you’re likely to relive some excruciatingly embarrassing moments from your youth as you watch. 

Moonstruck

Moonstruck

Turns out Moonstruck is 35 years young this month, and it also happens to be a holiday film. So happy Christmas Eve– time to celebrate with a bunch of classic Italian dishes and a lotta booze!

When Moonstruck was released in 1987, Cher had already proven herself an amazingly talented actress in several films (one of them, a personal favorite, released in the same year: Witches of Eastwick). Add in Nicolas Cage, who Cher insisted should be cast despite studio hesitation, not to mention a slew of amazing character actors (including the always sassy Olympia Dukakis), and you have an A+++ romantic comedy.

Set in Brooklyn, Cher plays Loretta Castorini, a jaded widow determined to counteract past years of bad luck by accepting the hand of big baby Johnny Cammareri (Danny Aiello). Her newly acquired fiancé, however, must return to Sicily to attend the bedside of his “dying” mother, and tasks Loretta with resolving the bad blood between himself and his one-handed brother Ronny (Nick Cage). What follows is a blunt, metaphor heavy, operatic affair between Loretta and Johnny that is complemented by various relationship ups and downs in the Castorini family. Viewers will learn why men chase women (they fear death), why it’s never a good idea to fall in love with a man (they drive you crazy, because they can), and to for god’s sake be careful around a bread slicer.

Appropriately, all of this wisdom is sandwiched between and shared during food scenes– at restaurants, in living rooms, and around the family dinner table. Which means, thankfully, I didn’t have to think much to construct this movie menu. And what a menu it is! I love it awful.

So eat, drink, and be merry. And don’t feed any of my food to the dog or I’ll kick ya till you’re dead. Alla famiglia!

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

moonstruck drinks

Celebratory Bubbles, Italian Red, and a Martini for Rose

Yield: 3 Drinks
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 15 minutes

Start with your prosecco and pizza, move on to your bloody steak and a big fat Italian red wine, and finally Bobo, let me have a martini, no ice, two olives with the minestrone!

And then maybe end with a little more prosecco. Because at Christmas time, you need a lotta booze.

Ingredients

Celebratory Bubbles

  • 1 Glass Dry Prosecco
  • 1 Sugar Cube
  • 5 Dashes of Bitters
  • Splash Lemon Juice

Rose's Order

  • Ice
  • 2 1/2 shots Good Quality Vodka
  • 1/2 shot Dry Vermouth, plus a bit more to coat the glass
  • 2 Queen Olives, with Pimiento

Red Wine Vibes

  • Your favorite full bodied Italian red-- highly recommend a Barbera or Barolo

Instructions

For the bubbles-- drop a sugar cube into a bubbles flute and add 5 dashes of bitters and lemon juice. Top with prosecco and enjoy! Ti amo.

For Rose's Martini-- 1 hr before serving, place martini glass in the freezer. When ready to serve, add a splash of vermouth to the glass and swirl it around before discarding. Next, fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add vodka + 1/2 shot of vermouth. Shake until well chilled and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with two olives.

For your red wine vibes-- get you some smoooooth jazz and sip slowly whilst pampering yourself before a big night at the opera.

When The Moon Hits Your Eye Pizza Pie

When The Moon Hits Your Eye Pizza Pie

Prep Time: 4 hours
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 4 hours 15 minutes

I could've made a pizza tradizionale, but that didn't feel very moon-like. So here is a white pizza with some funky gorgonzola/fontina/mozzarella, a smooth and creamy rosemary white sauce, and a light drizzle of honey all atop a NY style crust for cosmopolitan Cosmo. The rest is in the song.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup 00 Pizza Flour (but Bread flour works too)
  • 1/2 cup All Purpose Flour
  • 1/2 tsp Kosher Salt
  • Just under 1/2 cup Lukewarm Water
  • 1/8 tsp Sugar
  • 1/2 tsp Olive Oil
  • 1/4 tsp Active Dry Yeast
  • 1/2 cup Heavy Whipping Cream
  • 1/2 tsp Fresh Rosemary, minced
  • 1/2 Garlic Clove
  • 1/3 cup Low Moisture Mozzarella, grated
  • 1/3 cup Fontina, grated
  • 1/2 cup Gorgonzola, crumbled
  • Honey, for drizzling (roughly 1 1/2 tbsp)

Instructions

Start with your dough! Slightly less yeast than I would typically use, but you're looking for a thin crust. In a large mixing bowl, combine flours and salt. In a small mixing cup, stir together lukewarm tap water and sugar until the sugar dissolves, then add the yeast and the olive oil-- wait a couple of minutes for the yeast to bloom then add to your flour.

pizza dough

Knead with your hands until the dough is just coming together (it's ok if it looks slightly shaggy). If you need to add another tsp of water to the mix to collect all that flour, that’s fine. Let the mixture rest for 15 minutes. Dump dough onto a floured and knead for a minute or so until smooth and elastic and shapes easily into a ball of dough.

dough ball

Place on a heavily floured surface or in a bowl, cover, and let rest and rise for 3 to 4 hours at room temperature or for 8 to 24 hours in the refrigerator (if you refrigerate the dough, remove it 30 to 45 minutes before you begin to shape it for pizza).

When your dough has risen, preheat your oven to its highest temp (mine goes up to 500), and slide in a cookie sheet upside down-- you want the surface to be piping hot when you put your pizza on it.

Using an immersion blender, beat your cream, rosemary and garlic until the cream thickens-- this will be your white sauce!

On a piece of parchment paper, spread your dough into a circle about 10 inches in diameter. Spread your white sauce over your dough, and top with your three cheeses (gorgonzola last).

pizza pre bake

Open your oven quickly to slide your pizza onto your preheated cookie sheet. Bake for about 15 minutes until the cheese is bubbly and the crust is browned.

Drizzle with a bit of honey, and cut into 8 slices. Bella luna! That's amore.

steak tagliata

You'll Eat This One Bloody Tagliata

Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour 15 minutes

Yah yah so Loretta served her steak with spaghetti but I needed some more veggies-- and beef tagliata is a super classic Italian dish and stupid easy to make.

And if you like yours well done, SNAP OUT OF IT. You need to feed your blood!

Ingredients

  • 1 Boneless New York Strip Steak (Little less than 1 lb)
  • 2 Sprigs Rosemary
  • 1 Clove Garlic, thinly sliced
  • Kosher Salt & Fresh Ground Pepper
  • Canola/Veggie Oil
  • 1 Lemon
  • Arugula
  • Parmesan, for shaving
  • Olive Oil
  • Balsamic Vinegar
  • Flaky Salt (like Maldon)

Instructions

At least an hour before cooking (or a few hours if you have the time), drizzle your steak with some canola oil and top with your garlic slices and rosemary sprigs-- wrap tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

steak marinade

Roughly 20 mins before you're ready to eat (and about 30 mins before you head to the bed), heat a grill or griddle pan on high. Cut your lemon in half and brush with a little more oil before adding to the pan. Season both sides of the steak generously with salt and fresh cracked pepper and add it to the pan as well-- cook for about 3-4 mins per side. If your steaks are more than an inch thick, you might need an extra minute.

steak grill

Remove steak and let rest on a carving board for 10 minutes while you assemble your arugula and parmesan on a plate. Drizzle with a bit of balsamic and olive oil.

Cut meat on a diagonal, against the grain, and arrange next to your salad. Squeeze a bit of the grilled lemon over the entire plate, and sprinkle with a little extra flaky salt.

steak tagliata

SON OF A BITCH! So much tastier than chewing off your own foot, ya wolf.

bobo's minestrone

Bobo's Minestrone

Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes

Aaaaah minestrone-- a hefty Italian soup that you can make with the ingredients I have listed here-- OR you can sub in whatever veggies you happen to have in the fridge (squash instead of potatoes, bell peppers instead of carrots, other beans instead of cannelini, pancetta instead of bacon if you're feeling fancy, etc).

Just make sure you have a vodka drink to complement (or better yet a martini), and a towel to clean your face if you're John Mahoney and you've been chasing women.

Ingredients

  • Good olive oil
  • 2 oz Thick Cut Bacon, 1/2-inch-diced
  • 1 cup Onion, chopped
  • 1 cup Carrots, chopped
  • 1 cup Celery, chopped
  • 1 cup Sweet Potato, peeled and chopped
  • 3 cloves Garlic, minced
  • 1 tsp Fresh Thyme Leaves
  • 1 14oz can Diced Tomatoes, preferably San Marzano
  • 4 cups Chicken Broth
  • 1 bay leaf
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 7 oz Cannellini Beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 heaping cup Ditalini pasta, cooked
  • 1/4 cup Dry White Wine
  • 1 tbsp Pesto (see Notes)
  • Freshly grated Parmesan cheese and minced parsley/chives, for serving

Instructions

Gather your stage one ingredients-- your veggies, bacon, thyme and garlic (which you'll need to mince, but for the purposes of the below photo I have kept whole cause it just looked purtier).

minestrone ingredients batch 1

Heat a glug of olive oil over medium heat in a heavy pot or Dutch oven. Add the bacon and cook for about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until lightly crisped. Add the onions, carrots, celery, and potatoes and continue to cook, about 8 minutes, until THOSE ingredients are very lightly browned/softened. Toss in your garlic and thyme last and continue to cook for another 2 minutes.

Now for your stage two ingredients!

minestrone ingredients batch 2

Add the 'maters, 3 cups of the chicken stock, the bay leaf, salt, and pepper to the pot. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat and simmer uncovered for 30 minutes, until the veggies are tender. Discard the bay leaf and add the beans and cooked pasta, stirring until they are heated through.

Just before serving, reheat the soup and, if it's too thick, add more chicken stock. Stir in the white wine and pesto and season with more salt if needed.

minestrone pesto

Serve in large shallow bowls and sprinkle with finely grated Parmesan cheese, parsley and chives.

bobo's minestrone

Notes

You can go with store bought pesto, or try the recipe I have here in my On The Side collection!

Italian eggs in a basket

Bonus recipe: Ma Castorini's Eggs in a Basket

Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

For dinner or the morning after. Just make sure you get the bread pre-sliced-- you don't want to find yourself screaming I LOST MY HAND next to the bread slicer.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 Red Bell Pepper, sliced
  • 1 Clove Garlic, thinly sliced
  • 1/2 tbsp Olive Oil
  • Salt
  • Pinch Red Pepper Flakes
  • 1 tbsp Butter
  • 2 Slices Italian Bread
  • 2 Eggs

Instructions

Grab your cooking mumu and a frying pan and let's get started.

Heat the olive oil in your pan over medium heat and toss in your bell pepper slices, red pepper flakes, and a pinch of salt. Saute until your peppers soften a bit, and push them to the side of the pan away from the central point of heat-- throw your sliced garlic on top to begin to caramelize, but not burn.

Now, toss in your butter and wait until it's nice a bubbly. While you wait, cut a hole in each of your bread slices with a cookie cutter-- you can discard your bread circles, or toast them up with the other things in your pan.

Add your bread slices to the pan and move them around a bit to make sure the bottoms collect a fair amount of butter. Allow the bottoms to toast for about 4 mins, before flipping and cracking your eggs into the center of each.

Cover the pan and allow the eggs to cook and set to your desired doness (I like my yolks runny).

 

Epilogue

Still can’t get over Cher’s revenge dress at the Oscars. What a god damn icon.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Hocus Pocus 1 & 2

Hocus Pocus 1 & 2

Hocus Pocus– what a goofy ass time. Is it deserving of critical acclaim? No. But it’s a Halloween staple that everyone loves so much Disney just released a sequel 29 years later. And Sarah is STILL REALLY FUNNY! Both Hocus Pocus 1 & 2 star 

Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing

Happy 35 to Dirty Dancing, one of the greatest romances and dance films of all time (or at least the 80’s). Damn, Roger Ebert HATED this movie. And yet it has retained a loyal, long lasting fanbase– all of whom, I’m sure, secretly practice Johnny 

A League of Their Own

A League of Their Own

So last month kind of sucked for women. Actually, it really really sucked. But all the more reason to watch A League of Their Own– 30 years old on July 1, 2022 and a wonderful film to spend your afternoon with if you’re not feeling very ra ra as a female this July 4. 

The All-American Girls’ Professional Baseball League was founded in 1943, when men’s baseball was put on pause during WW2. Of course, once the men came marching home, it survived only until 1954. A League of Their Own tells the story of the women ballplayers who first joined the league, and who worked tirelessly to prove themselves as star athletes in the face of overwhelming misogyny. 

First off, Penny Marshall is a badass female director who was making movies at a time when the industry was even more dominated by white men than it is now. For A League of Their Own, she insisted that all of the female actors be able to play baseball– and even though Geena Davis was cast at the very last minute, she very quickly overtook her fellow actors in all the hitting, running and sliding aspects of the game. Because, this movie was made by women who were as impressive as the women they played. Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell, Lori Petty, Megan Cavanagh, baby Tea Leoni, and so many more– all very unique characters who combatted the docile little housewife/mother archetypes and not only made it to the World Series but figured out how to market themselves getting there. 

I’m not forgetting Tom Hanks in his absolutely wonderful role as alcoholic coach Jimmy Dugan (THERE’S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL)– Tom Hanks is almost always terrific. But to dwell on him for too long would defeat the point of this post. It actually kind of bugs me that his pic in movie posters is more prominent than Geena, but bygones. Just watch the movie and maybe walk away with a little more optimism and determination than you might have before you started. And then, make a donation to the Geena Davis Institute. 

Time for the League of Their Own movie menu! It’s so many hot dogs– each one kind of regional, but more importantly, inspired by some of my favorite characters from the film. And a lotta liquor.

Batter uuuuup, hear that caaaall… the time has cooome, for one and aaaaaalll… to plaaaaay baaaaall!

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

bourbon peach smash

Rockford Peach & Bourbon Smash

Yield: 2 cocktails
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

A peachy cocktail for our favorite baseball team-- with a lot of bourbon for our favorite coach Jimmy Dugan. Drink enough and you might end up needing a 53 second bathroom break.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 oz brown sugar simple syrup
  • 1 large peach , diced
  • 3-4 large mint leaves
  • 4 oz bourbon
  • splash ginger beer (preferred) or seltzer water, chilled
  • mint/peach slices, for garnish

Instructions

Throw peaches, mint, and simple syrup into a cocktail shaker-- muddle gently to make sure all of the peach and mint flavors are extruded. Add the bourbon, and fill the shaker with ice-- shake until well-chilled, and strain into two glasses. Top off with ginger beer (or seltzer water if you must) and more ice. Garnish with fresh mint and a peach slice!

bacon wrapped dairy dog with peppers

Kit & Dottie Dog

Yield: 1 Dog

MULE! NAG! Here's a peppery hot dog fit for two bickering sisters from a farm outside of Portland-- and since there is no "Oregon style" dog, why not hybridize a Seattle and a California dog with some extra dairy? After all, both Dottie and Kit know their way around a cow's udders...

Ingredients

  • Toasted bun (see instructions)
  • Pork frank, split in half
  • Bacon
  • Cream Cheese, at room temperature
  • Sauteed Red and Yellow Bell Pepper
  • Sautéed Onions

Instructions

Toast your bun in a 400 degree oven for 5-ish minutes-- just keep an eye on it so that it doesn't burn! Set the bun aside to come to warm/room temperature.

Wrap your split dog with bacon and sear for a few minutes on each side until the bacon is extra crispy.

Schmear your cream cheese on one side of your bun, and add your bacon wrapped dog. Top with onions, followed by your duo of peppers.

all the way New York chili dog

All The Way Besties Dog

Yield: 1 Dog

Let's make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies! Time to fully load a New York/Coney Island style hot dog inspired by the League's sassy NYC besties Mae and Doris. Of course, Coney Island Dogs are actually from Michigan-- but HEYO so is Madonna. And there's plenty of beef and Irish cheddar for Rosie. A perfect meal after a sexy af night of swing dancing... and oops, maybe your bosoms come flying out?

Ingredients

  • Bun
  • 2 All-beef hot dog
  • Sauerkraut **SEE NOTE
  • Spicy Brown Mustard (Guldens preferred)
  • No Bean Chili, heated **SEE NOTE
  • Chopped Onion
  • Irish Cheddar

Instructions

Boil hot dogs in a small saucepan full of water for 4-5 minutes. They can sit in said water to keep warm while you prep the other ingredients-- that's just extra NYC.

Add your two dogs to your bun, load up one side with sauerkraut, one side with spicy mustard. Top with a load of chili, a sprinkle of onions, and a hefty portion of grated irish chedder. Place under the broiler for a minute to melt the cheese (yum) and eat the whole. damn. thing.

Notes

For the chili-- you can drastically reduce the ingredients of my Dick Tracy recipe here (ommitting the beans), or you can be lazy and go with store bought. There's a guide to the best ones here!

For an extra quick sauerkraut, you can combine a 1/2 cup of shredded cabbage with 1 tbsp of white vinegar and 1/3 cup water in a small saucepan. Cover and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until cabbage is tender (about 15 minutes).

Betty spaghetti dog

Betty Spaghetti Dog

Yield: 1 Dog

Poor Betty Spaghetti. She deserves her own damn dog, she went through it. War sucks.

Ingredients

  • 1 tsp Olive oil
  • hot dog bun
  • 1 Sweet Italian Sausage
  • 1/2 cup Tomato sauce **SEE NOTE
  • 1/2 cup cooked spaghetti noodles
  • Freshly grated parmesan, for garnish

Instructions

Spritz your bun with olive oil and toast in an oven at 400 degrees for 5-ish minutes until just crispy, but not burned. Set aside.

Grill/sear your Italian sausage for roughly 8 minutes on medium high, turning periodically to guarantee an even char. When done, slice at a bias into 1 1/2 inch chunks.

Toss spaghetti with hot tomato sauce and spiral with a fork-- place these pasta rounds into the bun and top with sausage chunks. Pour residual tomato sauce over your spaghetti dogs and top with grated parmesan.

Notes

You can use store bought if you like, but I have a from scratch pizza sauce recipe that is delightful in a pinch!

southern belle slaw dog

Southern Belle Dog

Yield: 1 Dog

Who knew beauty queen Ellen Sue and super shy Shirley Baker would each be such badasses in their own way? But THAT'S THE DAMN POINT. So here's a slaw dog (with some peaches, cause why not) for these two Southern belles.

Ingredients

  • 1/3 cup shredded cabbage
  • 1/2 tbsp mayonnaise
  • 1/2 tsp whole grain mustard
  • 1/4 tsp red wine vinegar
  • 1 tsp minced peach
  • 1/2 tsp minced red onion
  • salt & pepper, to tasteHot dog bun
  • Pork frank
  • BBQ Sauce, to drizzle **SEE NOTE

Instructions

Start with your slaw-- mix the milky whi--whiiiite mayo with the vinegar, mustard, peach and red onion. Toss with your cabbage and allow to sit for 30 minutes. The slaw should be at room temp anyway, duh. Flavor with salt and pepper as needed.

Grill pork frank for roughly 6 minutes, turning frequently for an even char. Add to bun and top with slaw. Drizzle with your favorite bbq sauce and mwah! If it wasn't sexist as all hell I'd say it's worth a kiss.

Notes

You can of course use your favorite bbq sauce-- but yep, I have a really good one already made here!

spicy burnt dog for marla hooch

She Aint "Pretty" But She Sure Can Hit

Yield: 1 Dog

Saying it now-- Colorado native Marla Hooch is my favorite Rockford Peach. I still can't watch the scenes with her dad. Crushes my soul.

But let's be real, she's the best ballplayer on the team-- despite the fact that at the beginning of the film, she's deemed not quite pretty enough for (THE IRONY) Jon Lovitz.

So here's a messy Colorado/Denver dog for Marla Hooch, who can get boozy as fuck and reel in a man when even Madonna's around. Because (and I know I'm repeating myself) she's the best.

Ingredients

  • Hot Dog Bun
  • Beef frank
  • Coors Beer
  • Green Chile
  • Sour Cream
  • Sliced Jalapeno

Instructions

Simmer hot dog in 1/2 cup of Coors beer for 5-6 minutes until plump. Then, char it over an open flame (gas or otherwise) until blackened.

Mix the green pepper, red onion, and sour cream. Add to the bun, together with your charred dog, and top with sliced jalepeno. What a hitter!

Canadian poutine dog

We've Got Canadians! Dog

Lol Alice, YOU'RE KILLIN' ME.

But as the resident Canadian on the team, she inspired me. Who doesn't love poutine?

Ingredients

  • Toasted bun
  • Beef frank
  • 1/2 cup French fries **SEE NOTE
  • 1/2 tbsp butter
  • 1 tsp flour
  • 1/3 cup beef broth
  • pinch garlic powder
  • pinch onion powder
  • splash Worcestershire sauce
  • salt & pepper, to taste
  • cheese curds
  • chives, for garnish

Instructions

Start with your super simple gravy-- melt butter in a non-stick pan, and add flour to make a roux. In other words, a flour butter paste, which will smell like popcorn when ready. Add your broth and seasonings-- stir until fully mixed and boiling. Reduce heat, and simmer until thickened (just a minute or two). Set aside and keep very warm.

Grill frank, turning frequently.

Place in bun and top with hot fries, cheese curds, and gravy. Sprinkle with chives as garnish.

Notes

Oh hey look I've made french fries before. And they're GOOD.

Have Another Chocolate Stillwell angel (w/cracker jacks)

Have Another Chocolate Stillwell angel (w/cracker jacks)

Yield: Enough already

Part of me wanted Evelyn to have all the hot dogs, but let's be real-- she was all about her Stillwell Angel. And Stillwell LOVED his chocolate. Even when it came with a mitt full of baseball spirit to the face. Insert craaaacker jacks here.

Ingredients

  • 16 oz semisweet (lol) chocolate
  • 2 1oz packages of cracker jacks

Instructions

In a double boiler, melt your chocolate. See method below.

Pour your melted chocolate into a small parchment paper lined baking dish-- the chocolate layer should be between 1/4 and 1/2 inch thick. While still warm. crush and crumble cracker jacks over the chocolate. Refrigerate (or freeze) until ready to eat and drive everyone around you bonkers, you spoiled brat.

 

Epilogue

This new series… I dunno… will it be good? I have hope. See you in August.

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Jurassic Park

Jurassic Park

While the initial intention was to time this Jurassic Park menu to the release of the sixth (and dear god we hope) final movie in the Jurassic Park/World franchise, I’ve also realized that I’m slowly making my way through the Steven Spielberg “top five”. If