Instructions

Pour first five ingredients into a (limey sugary rimmed) champagne coupe/flute. Garnish with a slice of lime and feel the holiday spirit coursing through your veins!

Instructions

The night before, whisk together your rosemary, garlic, salt, pepper, and olive oil and rub into your rib roast. Note, when you order your roast, you should get it not "boneless", but with the chine bones cut almost away from the base of the meat-- see where my finger is pointing? The butcher should be able to then tie the meat back onto the bones, thus making this a "standing" rib roast.

The morning of the big day, remove your roast from the fridge and allow to come to room temperature-- this should take about 2 hours. In the meantime, preheat your oven to its lowest setting (I put mine at about 200 degrees).

When your oven is heated, insert a thermometer into the center of the rib roast, between two bones. Slow roast in the oven for about 5 hours, until the internal temperature reaches 120-125 degrees for rare (don't worry, while it rests, the meat will continue to cook-- if you want a roast that is a bit more well done, see Note).

While the roast beast is roasting, make the horseradish cream. Combine mayo, sour cream, dijon, and horseradish and mix thoroughly. Add salt to taste, and refrigerate (if you can resist just eating it by the spoonful).

When your roast has finally reached your preferred internal temperature, remove it from the oven and allow it to rest for at least 30 mins and up to 1 1/2 hours.

Increase the temperature of your oven to its highest (mine was 550).

About 15 minutes before you are ready to carve, put your roast beast back into your super hot oven and cook until well-browned and crisp on the exterior.

To carve: remove the cooking twine and cut the main roast away from the bones. Set roast cut-side down and slice the meat across the grain according to the thickness you prefer. You'll see three different thicknesses below cause I had kind of a shitty knife... whoopth.

Instructions

The beauty of this recipe is its simplicity-- salty with only a bit of finishing sweet.

First, steam the broccolini in a large sautee pat with one cup of chicken broth-- bring the broth to boiling, add the broccolini and garlic cloves, cover, and steam for 2 minutes, 30 seconds (NO MORE, NO LESS).

Remove the lid and add olive oil and red pepper flakes to the pan. Quickly sear the broccolini over high heat until slightly brown. Squeeze quickly with a bit of lemon juice, and sprinkle with salt and freshly cracked pepper.

Arrange on your plate in a wreath design around your roast beast, and garnish with pomegranate seeds!

Instructions

Begin with your base ingredients:

Fill a medium pot with 2 qts of water and add your potato cubes. Add vinegar and salt to the water and bring to a boil-- reduce to a simmer and cook for about 5 minutes until the potatoes are just tender. Strain and set aside.

Next, in a large saute pan, fry up some bacon! Quick rule of thumb-- always put your slices of bacon in a cold pan and heat it up to medium. Don't ask me why, it's just what you're sposed to do.

Drain finished bacon on napkins and feel free to snack on one or two slices. In the meantime, pour roughly 1/3 of the grease into a bowl and set aside. Reheat the grease in the pan over medium high, and add your potatoes! Sautee until browned, about 10 minutes. Mince one of the sage leaves, and toss half of those minced bits in with your potatoes. Saute for a minute more, and transfer to a bowl.

In the same pan, add your reserved bacon grease and heat to medium. Add shallots and caramalize/brown-- but do not burn! Stir frequently for about 10 more minutes, and again add half of your minced sage. Toss for another minute or so, and add to your bowl of potatoes.

Finish by tossing in your bacon, and adding salt and pepper to taste. And, if you like to be semi-fancy, fry some sage leaves over high heat in olive oil for about a minute per side, for garnish.

Instructions

Begin with your strawberry jam/compote, as it will need a bit to set. Cut your strawberries into 1/4 inch slices, and throw into a small saucepan with sugar, lemon, and zest. Bring to a boil, and reduce too a simmer for about 5 minutes until strawberries break down.

Remove from the heat, and cool before transferring to a bowl to chill for at least an hour before serving.

Follow this up with your whipped cream cheese layer, which can be refrigerated for at least a day before serving. Begin by adding your cream cheese, confectioners sugar, and vanilla to a small bowl. Using a hand mixer, beat until smooth (about 2 minutes).

In a separate bowl, whip your whipping cream with the same hand mixer until stiff peaks form (about 3 minutes).

Now for the Schitt's Creek hilarity-- take 1/3 of your whipped cream and FOLD it into the cream cheese mixture until it's fully incorporated. You're trying to get the cream cheese mixture to be a bit lighter before adding it to the rest of the whipped cream, so as not to completely flatten it with subsequent FOLDING. And that's just what you do next-- add that now lighter whipped cream/cream cheese mix to the rest of the whipped cream, and FOLD lightly until mixed:

Refrigerate.

Now for the most timely layer-- the raspberry mousse! Most mousses require gelatin, but I stole this 3 ingredient recipe from Serious Eats and damn if it didn't work perfectly.

No longer than 30 minutes before you plan to serve, add your frozen raspberries and granulated sugar to a food processor and puree until broken down as much as possible. Then, add an egg white-- puree for 2-3 minutes and you'll see the mixture become full, light and fluffy. It's like a Christmas miracle!

Store immediately in the fridge, unless you're not able to spoon up immediately. But, if you are, start with a layer of strawberry, followed by whipped cream cheese, followed by raspberry mouse, and repeat. Top off with three strawberries cut into the shape of hearts (cause Dr. Seuss was literal too) and a sprig of mint.