Tag: bread

Howl’s Moving Castle

Howl’s Moving Castle

I’ve been wanting to tackle Studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki for a long while, and luckily my fave in the collection– Howl’s Moving Castle– is a bit simpler culinarily speaking its companions. Don’t worry, I’ll get to Spirited Away eventually. Based on a fantasy novel 

Moonstruck

Moonstruck

Turns out Moonstruck is 35 years young this month, and it also happens to be a holiday film. So happy Christmas Eve– time to celebrate with a bunch of classic Italian dishes and a lotta booze! When Moonstruck was released in 1987, Cher had already 

Pizza Dough

Pizza Dough

dough ball

Pizza Dough

Yield: 2 10-inch pizzas
Prep Time: 4 hours
Total Time: 4 hours

I've tried a number of pizza dough recipes in the last few months and this is the best so far-- a very slightly simplified version of the recipe used at one of my favorite NYC pizza joints, Roberta's. Using bread flour is key if you can find it!

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 cup Bread Flour
  • 1 1/2 cup All Purpose Flour
  • 1 1/2 tsp Kosher Salt
  • 1 1/4 cup Lukewarm Water
  • 1 tsp Active Dry Yeast
  • 1 1/2 tsp Olive Oil

Instructions

In a large mixing bowl, combine flours and salt. In a small mixing bowl, stir together 1 1/4 cup of lukewarm tap water, the yeast and the olive oil, then pour it into flour mixture.

dough ingredients

Knead with your hands until well combined, approximately 3 minutes—if you need to add another tsp of water to the mix to collect all that flour, that’s fine. Let the mixture rest for 15 minutes.

first knead

Then knead rested dough for 3 minutes until smooth and elastic and shapes easily into a ball of dough.

dough ball

Cut into two pieces and shape each into a ball. Place on a heavily floured surface or in separate bowls, cover, and let rest and rise for 3 to 4 hours at room temperature until doubled in size. You can also refrigerate for 8 to 24 hours-- just be sure to remove it 30 to 45 minutes before you begin to shape it for pizza.

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

 

 

His Girl Friday

His Girl Friday

His Girl Friday– the film that crushed the 90 word per minute standard for humans with a whopping 240 word per minute average. Per Director Howard Hawks: “we wrote the dialog in a way that made the beginnings and ends of sentences unnecessary; they were 

Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark

Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark

This past weekend was the 40th anniversary of the beginning of the Indiana Jones trilogy, Raiders of the Lost Ark! (We do not acknowledge any subsequent Indy productions on this blog– they are blasphemous and shameful.) I have too many thoughts on this, one of 

The Birdcage

The Birdcage

I’m now back in Los Angeles after an almost 6 month hiatus in my home state of Florida– and yes, it’s often as weird  there as the internet says. However, now that I’m back to my regular life on the West Coast, I’m finding that I’m a little home sick! And so, I chose a movie that always puts me in a Florida mood, Mike Nichols’ The Birdcage.

A remake of Édouard Molinaro’s 1978 farce La Cage aux Folles, The Birdcage was released in the mid-’90s— the AIDS epidemic was hitting its plateau, LGBTQ equality measures were becoming part of a national conversation, and the Christian Coalition was battering the community with calls for family values and “morality” in politics. Enter this, one of the most hilarious films of the decade (and maybe of all time), starring Robin Williams (Armand) and Nathan Lane (Albert) as the Goldmans/Coldmans/Colemans– two gay men and life partners who live and work together at a South Beach drag club called (you guessed it) The Birdcage. When Armand’s son (that one actor from ER) asks his father to play it straight for the benefit of his aggressively conservative and close minded in-laws (Gene Hackman and Dianne Wiest), hilarity ensues– as do several costume changes. And throughout, as the family members stumble (verbally and physically) through their encounters with one another, you get to see Hank Azaria steal the show as the faithful houseboy with just the right amount of natural heat, Agador (Spartacus!). 

For YEARS I have been itching to try a Birdcage -esque sweet and sour peasant soup, and actually make it tasty. Well, here is my attempt– a colorful, spicy, and very filling celebration of Guatemalan-ness (plus a few other tropical goodies). If only I could’ve found Greek bowls with images of young men playing leap frog…

 

The Movie

 

The Menu

south beach spritzer

South Beach Spritzer

Yield: Depends on how much alchy and juice you have
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

What's more South Beach than a tropically delicious spritzer?

... Maybe some of these cocktails on Eater. But VAL likes white wine, and apparently everyone does EVERYTHING Val wants.

I'm a little pissed at Val, guys. If it wasn't for the Pirin tablets... I don't think I could go on.

Ingredients

  • White Wine
  • Pineapple Juice
  • Orange Juice
  • Club Soda

Instructions

Legitimately all you have to do is mix juice with wine at your preferred ratio and add a splash of club soda. I prefer 3x the wine, but that's just me.

Top off with a light splash of club soda for some refreshing effervenscene and you'll be doing an eclectic celebration of the dance! You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham! Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla! Or Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd, Michael Kidd! Or Madonna, Madonna, Madonna!

birdcage twyla dance

... but you keep it all inside.

PS if the night gets stressful, you can always switch from wine to whiskey for a tropical whiskey sour.

sweet and sour peasant soup

Guatemalan Sweet and Sour Peasant Soup

Yield: 2 Bowls
Cook Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour

What's Guatemalan Sweet and Sour Peasant Soup, you ask? I don't know, I made it up. I MADE IT UP!

Kind of anyway. A riff off of traditional Kak-Ik, I like to think that this is a slightly more appetizing rendition of Agador's (Spartacus!) recipe. Let me make it clear-- this is definitely NOT a seafood chowder. But when you factor in the shrimps (which did make their way into my dish), the avocado, a pleasantly jammy soft boiled egg, and all the "Guatemalan-ness" and natural HEAT you could ask for, I think it's a wonderfully sassy and filling entree.

Just remember to remove your shoes while you cook, because they'll make you fall down.

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp Canola Oil
  • 1 Beefsteak Tomato
  • 1 Medium Onion, sliced into thick rings
  • 4 Small Bell Peppers (or ½ red bell pepper)
  • 2 Tomatillos, thickly sliced
  • 1 Large Bay Leaf
  • 4-5 Garlic Cloves
  • 2 cups Chicken Broth
  • ¼ tsp Chipotle Powder
  • ¼ tsp Achiote Paste
  • 1/8 tsp Cinnamon
  • Pinch Ground Clove
  • 1/2 tsp. Salt
  • ¼ tsp Sugar
  • ¼ tsp Freshly Ground Pepper
  • 2 7-Minute Eggs (ie eggs boiled for 7 minutes and peeled)
  • 6-7 Jumbo Shrimp, peeled and de-veined
  • Pinch Garlic Powder
  • Salt & Pepper for shrimp, to taste
  • Chopped Cilantro
  • Sliced Avocado
  • Sliced Green Onion
  • Squeeze Lime juice

Instructions

First, assemble your ingredients-- thick slices are your friend.

soup ingredients

Next, head a large cast iron skillet or griddle pan over medium high heat. Pour in a tbsp on canola oil and add your veggies-- cook until charred, about 2 minutes per side.

soup charred vegetables

Transfer vegetables to a medium soup pot. Add chicken broth and seasonings and bring to a boil-- reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes or so to let flavors meld.

Remove bay leaf and, using an immersion blender puree your veggies and broth.

immersion soup

Keep your soup warm while you prep your toppings! Note, your 7 minute eggs will still be yolky jammy in the middle-- if you want stiffer innards, go for 8 minutes (but I don't advise longer). To prep shrimp, soak in salted water for at least 10 mins and up to an hour-- dry on paper towels.

soup toppings

Just before serving, toss shrimp with garlic powder, salt, pepper and a bit more canola oil. Saute on high heat in a non-stick skillet for about a minute until pink. They cook quickly, so keep an eye on them or everything will be ruined and you'll find yourself chugging booze in the kitchen while sweating profusely.

fuck the shrimp gif

When ready to serve, pour soup into bowls and top with a halved egg each, sliced avocado, shrimp, chopped cilantro, green onions, and a squeeze of lime juice!

sweet and sour peasant soup

cuban toast

I Pierced the Toast!

Yield: 2 Servings
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

Because what goes better with soup and a fake identity than toast? I just made this a bit more Miami... and much more appropriate for The Birdcage.

Ingredients

  • Cuban bread
  • Butter
  • 1 tsp Cumin
  • 1 tsp Paprika
  • 1/2 tsp Salt
  • 1/8 tsp Cayenne

Instructions

A seasoned version of a Cuban tostada: slice your cuban bread, butter ALL sides of said bread, and sprinkle with your seasonings before you put your slices together in what is basically a butter sandwich.

toast smear

Heat a griddle pan on high and press your tostadas using another heavy pan or panini press until toasty. Serve warm.

cuban toast

This stuff will go fast, but don't worry:

more toast gif

mango Schnecken

When the Schnecken Beckons

Prep Time: 3 hours
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 3 hours 20 minutes

Yes I know Alby went for the chocolate schnecken, but you could say this mango schnecken beckoned. I think they'd even satisfy Senator Keeley's sweet tooth.

Note: I kinda stole this recipe from this guy in Germany, with some liberties. If you need a clearer how-to on assembly, he has a video that was incredibly helpful!

Ingredients

  • 1 cup Whole Milk, divided
  • 2 ½ tbsp Butter, softened
  • 1 Egg
  • 2 cups AP Flour
  • 2 tbsp Sugar
  • ¼ tsp Salt
  • 1 tsp Rapid Rise Yeast
  • 1 8-oz Package Dried Mango
  • ½ tsp Vanilla Extract
  • ½ cup Powdered Sugar
  • 1 tbsp Orange Juice

Instructions

For the dough-- add first seven ingredients to the bowl of a stand mixer.

schnecken dough

Using the paddle attachment, mix on low until a moist mixture begins to form. Switch with a dough hook and continue to mix on medium low until a smooth dough forms, about 2 minutes.

Remove the dough from the bowl and allow to rest while you lightly butter said bowl. Add the dough back to your greased receptacle and cover with plastic wrap. Allow to rise until doubled in size, roughly 1.5-2 hrs.

15 minutes before dough has finished rising, prepare the mango filling.
Add dried mango pieces, vanilla and milk to a food processor and puree-- you should end up with a spreadable mix.

mango filling

Once your dough has doubled in size, place on a floured work surface and roll it into a rectangle about 16 inches long and about 1/8 inch thickness. Then spread the mango filling evenly on the dough using the back of a large spoon.

mango on dough

To form your schnecken, roll your dough beginning from the narrow side. Pull the dough a little while rolling it up to ensure a tighter spiral. Then, using a sharp, floured knife, cut your dough into 1 inch thick rounds, lining up on a cooking sheet lined with parchment paper.

slice Schnecken

At this point you COULD refrigerate overnight. Just make sure you allow your formed schnecken to rest and rise, covered lightly with plastic wrap, for 60 minutes before baking. In the meantime, find some Gloria honey.

gloria

Five minutes before baking, preheat your oven to 375. Bake your schnecken until your schnecken is golden yellow-- about 15-20 minutes.

While your schnecken is doing its thing in the oven, prepare your citrus glaze. Add the orange juice to the powdered sugar and whisk until smooth. Once you remove your schencken from the oven, immediately brush with the orange glaze and allow to cool slightly before serving.

schnecken icing

 

Epilogue

PS this year (2021) is the 25th anniversary of The Birdcage! How time flies. …and I still really miss Robin Williams :/.

Robin Williams

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

If you are reading this at the beginning of April– here is a not-so-traditional movie menu for Easter! At first you may not think Monty Python and the Holy Grail fits the spring holiday vibe, but think again. You’ve got religion (God be praised!), gatherings 

Once/Sing Street

Once/Sing Street

MY FIRST EVER DOUBLE FEATURE! It’s St. Patrick’s Day tomorrow and I figured there’s no better time to subject myself to a roller coaster of emotions– after all, you have Irish stew and all the alcohol you need to balance everything out. Consequently, here are 

When Harry Met Sally

When Harry Met Sally

Aaaahh When Harry Met Sally– THE classic rom com perfect for an at-home New Years Eve celebration. It is also the best of its genre. If you think you have a superior candidate, feel free to send it my way.

Ok maybe Princess Bride is a contender. And His Girl Friday. But when I try to decide it’s like Sophie’s choice and that’s not at all the vibe I’m going for in this post.

For those (egads) unfamiliar with When Harry Met Sally– it’s a movie about romantic love evolving from friendship, written by Nora Ephron and directed by Rob Reiner. Apparently they had loads of fun infusing their own personality traits into lead characters Sally (Meg Ryan) and Harry (Billy Crystal), who are both neurotic yet idealistic each in their own way. Harry broodily boasts about his dark side, yet is clearly terrified of being emotionally hurt or vulnerable, and Sally thinks she’s a high functioning person yet refuses to recognize her own high maintenance fussiness and unsustainable positivity. Clearly, it’s a match made in heaven, except neither person can see it.

Harry and Sally’s years-long relationship is framed by those of their friends (notably Carrie Fisher as Marie and Bruno Kirby as Jess), not to mention some of the best segments of the film– the interspersed vignettes featuring happily married older couples telling their own real life love stories (though actors were hired for these, the dialogue/anecdotes were real). I could never choose between Ben Small of the Coney Island Smalls or this couple. LOOK AT THEM.

2.bp.blogspot.com -yGAJHj3k0mk TnHOjlPYVaI AAAAAAAAEE4 6lcnbvf4QI8 s1600 WhenHarryMSally_094Pyxurz.… | When harry met sally, Harry met sally, This or that questions

When Harry Met Sally is a love letter to love, one full of witty banter, quick worded arguments, and moments of personal growth and maturity that I find even more relatable now that I’m in my 30’s and I can’t help repeating to myself that the clock doesn’t start to tick until I’m 36. All that said, if you’re still feeling a little ambivalent about romance after the end of the movie, I get it. But at the very least I agree with the articulate Sonia Saraiya of Vanity Fair when she says “perhaps some men and some women can’t just be friends. But spouses better be friends already.”

And now, a movie menu for When Harry Met Sally that may or may not be as much a love letter to the famous Katz’s Delicatessen in NYC as it is to the film. I couldn’t help it, them sammies are so gd delicious. If you feel like having more than just deliciously juicy and delicious meat on bread however, feel free to take a page out of Harry’s book and scroll to the end first– my “on the side” sides section includes a guide on how to construct some Katz’s menu favorites. And while you cook, sing along to the equally yummy Harry Connick Jr and the When Harry Met Sally soundtrack. Happy New Year!

 

The Movie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmSpCLefjnw

 

The Menu

 

Bloody Mary

Tomato Juice with a Splash, Just a Splash, of Bloody Mary Mix (and a little something extra)

Yield: 2 Cocktails
Cook Time: 5 minutes
Total Time: 5 minutes

I started ordering this as a child on every plane ride after seeing When Harry Met Sally, and I'm relatively certain none of the flight attendants got the reference. But since I've been able to add vodka to the mix I haven't cared quite as much.

If you want to be super authentic, most airlines use Mr & Mrs T Bloody Mary Mix, but adding the spices listed in my Notes section gets you close to where you want to be.

Ingredients

  • 2 cups Tomato Juice
  • 1 shot Mr & Mrs T Bloody Mary Mix
  • 2 Lime Slices
  • 2 shots Vodka

Instructions

OK, here's what you want, in two cups. Regular tomato juice, filled up about three quarters, than add a splash of Bloody Mary mix, just a splash, and a little piece of lime, but on the side.

The vodka is optional, but highly recommended.

Notes

If you have a plethora of spices and don't feel like ordering an entire bottle of Bloody Mary Mix, you can add a pinch each of black pepper, cayenne, celery salt, paprika, onion powder, and a small dash each of hot sauce, Worcestershire, and horseradish.

roast turkey on white

Orgasmic Roast Turkey on White for Sally

Yield: At least one sandwich, and up to 4
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 2 hours 2 seconds
Total Time: 2 hours 10 minutes 2 seconds

Yes, Katz's pastrami in NYC usually gets all the attention when you are fortunate enough to eat there. But we all know THE scene from When Harry Met Sally when Sally shows Harry, very audibly, how good of an actress she is-- and she is most definitely eating (and disassembling, as is her way) a delicious deli turkey sandwich. Farther down we get to Harry's order, but (like Estelle Reiner), I'll have what she's having. Har har.

Note, Katz slow roasts their turkey in a "bag" or tightly wrapped tent of aluminum foil so that the meat remains moist and succulent as it cooks in its own juices. I've attempted to replicate that strategy here, and IT WORKED.

Ingredients

  • 1 Whole Bone-in Turkey Breast (6½ to 7 pounds)
  • 3 tbsp Butter, softened
  • 1/8 tsp Dried Sage
  • 1/4 tsp Dried Rosemary
  • 1/4 tsp Dried Thyme
  • 1/4 tsp Garlic Powder
  • 1/4 tsp Onion Powder
  • 1/4 tsp Celery Salt
  • 1 tsp Salt
  • 1/2 tsp Ground Pepper
  • Lots of Aluminum Foil
  • White Bread, sliced 1 inch thick

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 325, and mix your herbs/spices in a small bowl.

Next, place two long sheets of aluminum foil onto a baking sheet, one running horizontal, the other vertical-- this will form your baking "tent". Butter the surface of aluminum foil, and set a small rack in the center.

Remove your turkey from the bag and pat dry with paper towels. Place onto your baking rack, and spread with remaining butter. Sprinkle all over with herb/spice mix, including inside the cavity.

turkey breast

Bring the top layer up around the rack/turkey breast to form a loose tent. Then, bring up the remaining sides. If you need to, use an additional piece of aluminum foil on the top of your tent to cover any holes.

Pierce a small hole through the aluminum foil using a digital meat thermometer (if you have one) and push halfway through the deepest part of the breast-- be sure to stay away from the bone running down the middle.

turkey temp

Place in the oven on the lowest middle rack and bake, until temperature reaches 165.

Remove from oven and allow to sit, tent opened, for 10-15 mins.

To slice, cut vertically along the breast bone...

turkey breast cut 1

...and then at a perpindicular angle along the bottom side of the breast to remove the meat.

turkey slice 2

Slice at an angle, somewhere between 1/4 and 1/3 of an inch slices. Your turkey should be SUPER juicy and succulent.

turkey slices

To assemble your sandwich(es), place about 3/4 of a lb of turkey (don't waste any bits, you can add thinner shreds too!) onto a slice of white bread, and top with whatever you'd like from the deli sides menu.

roast turkey on white

Just take your time, no one likes to finish too quickly...

sally fake orgasm

pastrami on rye

Pastrami on Rye for Harry

Yield: At Least 2 and Up to 4 Sammies
Prep Time: 8 hours
Cook Time: 2 hours
Total Time: 10 hours

While there might have been too much pepper in Harry's paprikash, this Katz-esque pastrami on rye should have just the right amount of spice. And if you read this recipe and think HEY, THAT'S NOT REAL PASTRAMI, SHE CHEATED-- to that I can only say, you're right, you're right, I know you're right. But it's still damn good.

Ingredients

  • 2 lb Corned Beef Brisket (these can be found pre-packaged in the meat section)
  • 1 tbsp of black pepper
  • 1 tbsp of ground coriander
  • 1/2 tbsp of paprika
  • 1/2 tbsp of dark brown sugar
  • 3/4 tsp of garlic powder
  • 3/4 tsp of onion powder
  • 1/4 tsp of ground mustard powder
  • Rye Bread, sliced 1/2 inch thick

Instructions

To preface-- pastrami is typically made from the beef belly, but is also sometimes made from brisket... as is corned beef! And since both cuts are brined in essentially the same way prior to cooking, you can use a corned beef brisket without going through the hassle of slow brining beef for pastrami for five days. The next big difference between corned beef and pastrami is the seasoning/cooking method-- and I've taken care of that below!

Remove your beef brisket from the packaging and pat dry with paper towels. Ideally, you should see some generous marbelling throughout the meat-- these are the threads of fat that will make your "pastrami" moist as it cooks.

pastrami fat

Fill the bottom of your Instapot/pressure cooker with a cup of water, and set the rack inside. Place the brisket on top of the rack, fat cap side up so that the fat melts into the meat.

brisket cook prep

Cook on high pressure, about 50 minutes. All a natural release of about 15 more minutes before you release the pressure valve and remove the meat from the cooker. At this point it should be fork tender.

cooked pastrami

Place your beef onto a sheet of aluminum foil and generously coat with your spice mixture (pepper down to mustard powder in the ingredients list). If you have some leftover, that's ok. You just want the surface of the meat to be completely covered.

cooked pastrami

Wrap tightly in foil and refrigerate for at least 6 hours and up to 2 days.

Remove your pastrami package from the fridge and allow to come to room temperature (between 30 minutes to an hour). Preheat your oven to 275. Once the meat has warmed a bit, open the aluminum foil and place the opened package of beef into the oven-- bake for about 45 minutes to allow the exterior spices to form a crust.

Remove from the oven and let sit for 10 minutes so that the pastrami juices have time to redistribute. When you're ready to eat, slice about 1/4 inch thick.

when harry met sally pastrami

Generously layer onto your rye bread. Top with whatever sides the Sally's in your life are too picky to try. Gulden's mustard is a go-to for Katz's aficionados. And maybe some crisp kraut-- after all, sometimes it is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk while you're busy crunch crunch crunching away and thinking about how hieroglyphics are just an ancient comic strip about a character named Sphinxy.

pastrami on rye

on the side

"On the Side" Sides

Yield: 4 Servings of Sides
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Additional Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 1 hour 15 minutes

A plate full of "on the side" deli toppings/condiments/add ons perfect for the women who are high maintenance but think they're low maintenance. But really they just want it the way they want it. Tom-a-to, tom-ah-to.

Scroll down for a guide on how to best leverage these toppings, NYC Katz style.

Ingredients

  • DELI COLESLAW
  • 2 tbsp sour cream
  • 2 tbsp mayonnaise
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
  • 1/2 tablespoon sugar
  • 1/2 tablespoon distilled white vinegar
  • 1/8 teaspoon mustard powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon white pepper
  • 1/4 teaspoon celery seed (not celery salt!)
  • 1/4 teaspoon Morton's kosher salt
  • 1/4 medium cabbage
  • 1/2 large carrot, peeled
  • 1/4 bell pepper, green, red, yellow, or orange, your choice, cored
  • 1/4 small onion
  • RUSSIAN DRESSING
  • 2 tbsp mayonnaise
  • 2 tbsp sweet pickle relish
  • 1 1/2 tbsp ketchup
  • 1/2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
  • 1/2 tbsp prepared horseradish
  • 1/2 tsp onion powder
  • 1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • Kosher salt
  • ADDITIONAL ON THE SIDES
  • Guldens or other spicy brown mustard
  • Sauerkraut
  • Swiss cheese
  • Sliced Tomato
  • Shredded Lettuce
  • Dill Pickle

Instructions

GUIDE FOR ON THE SIDES:

In the movie, both Harry and Sally appear to be eating their sandwiches plain-- as is standard for many who frequent Katz given the quality of the meat. HOWEVER, there are certain Katz menu staples that might be of interest should you wish to explore some deli toppings and sides. Here are some of my favorite "official" combinations featuring the extras I've included:

THE REUBEN
Pastrami with melted Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing. Recommended on grilled rye.

KATZ MEOW
Pastrami or turkey breast, lettuce, tomatoes, and Russian dressing.

TIMES SQUARE
Grilled turkey breast, Swiss cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes with mustard (or honey mustard).

DELI TURKEY BREAST
Plain with lettuce and tomato.

All that said, my personal favorite is The Reuben, subbing out coleslaw for the sauerkraut and adding in spicy mustard. I'm wacky that way.

On to the On the Sides assembly!

FOR THE COLESLAW:

Mix first 9 ingredients together-- this will be your deli sauce.

when harry met sally sauce

Next, finally slice your cabbage, grate your carrot, and finely chop your bell pepper and onion.

when harry met sally slaw

In a medium sized bowl, toss your veggies and slaw sauce until fully incorporated and allow to sit, chilled, for 1 hour.

FOR THE RUSSIAN DRESSING:

Combine all of the ingredients in a small bowl.

russian dressing ingredients

Mix. The end.

FOR THE REMAINING ON THE SIDES:

Slice a beefsteak tomato, shred lettuce, and layer onto a plate with your swiss cheese, sauerkraut and pickles. Keep at a distance from your sammies until ready to consume, should you deign to consume at all.

on the side

apple pie

Apple Pie Not At All A La Mode

Yield: 1 Nine-Inch Pie
Prep Time: 1 hour
Cook Time: 1 hour
Total Time: 2 hours

It was VERY difficult to choose a dessert for this menu. Everyone else goes for the coconut cake with chocolate sauce on the side. But I was also so ready to partake of a pecaaaaan piiiiiiie.

In the end however, I took the advice of my friend Brad (who loves this movie) and went with the apple pie. Let's break it down.

Sally Albright : I'd like the chef's salad please with the oil and vinegar on the side and the apple pie a la mode.

Waitress : [writing the order down] Chef and apple a la mode.

Sally Albright : But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream but only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing.

Waitress : Not even the pie?

Sally Albright : No, just the pie, but then not heated.

Anna's thoughts: strawberry ice cream with apple pie is just insane. So I went with (real) whipped cream. However, whipped cream on a heated slice of apple pie is also bonkers. So in this case I have to agree with Sally that it is, after all, important to keep it on the side.

Ingredients

  • PIE CRUST
  • 3 cups Flour
  • 1/2 tbsp Sugar
  • 12 tbsp (1 1/2 sticks) Salted Butter, very cold
  • 1/3 cup Shortening, very cold
  • 1/2 cup Ice Water, plus more if needed
  • PIE FILLING
  • 1 qt Granny Smith Apples (about 4-5 large)
  • 2/3 cup Sugar
  • 1/2 tsp Salt
  • 1/2 tsp Nutmeg
  • 3/4 tsp Cinnamon
  • 2 1/2 tbsp Flour
  • 1 1/2 tbsp Butter
  • 1/4 cup Sugar
  • 1/8 cup Milk
  • WHIPPED CREAM (Yields 1 Cup)
  • 1/2 cup cold heavy whipping cream
  • 1 tbsp confectioners sugar
  • 1/4 tsp vanilla extract

Instructions

FOR THE CRUST:

Cut butter into cubes and place, with shortening into the freezer to chill completely. Next, add the flour and sugar to a large bowl and stir briefly to combine. Once the butter/shortening has chilled, add to the bowl of dry ingredients. Cut in the fats using a pastry cutter or (if you're old-school like me) two knives-- see method below.

cutting butter

If you need to break up the chunks a bit more, feel free to get in there with your hands a bit. You should be left with chunks of butter flour roughly the size of large peas.

Tablespoon by tablespoon, add ice water to the bowl and mix with a fork. At this point your dough should be coming together nicely.

dough

Dump out onto a floured board and roll into a ball-- it should come together with little to no flour dust, and yet there should still be visible chunks of butter visible. Wrap your dough ball in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

dough ball

FOR THE FILLING:

Peel your apples and slice into 1/4 inch slices. If they begin to turn brown during the process, feel free to spritz some lemon juice over them.

apples

In a large bowl, mix apples with 2/3 cup sugar, flour, salt, and spices. Toss to fully coat the apples, and set aside. You can now preheat your oven to 425, and finish your crust!

Once your dough has refrigerated for 30 minutes, cut the ball into two pieces-- one should be slightly bigger than the other (the bottom part of your pie will be bigger than the top since it needs to run up the sides of your pie pan.

dough halved

Place the first, larger ball in between two large sheets of wax paper, and using a rolling pin roll this out to at least 1 inch larger than your 9 inch pie pan (you should still see those bits of butter in the dough).

dough roll

Peel back the top piece of wax paper, and flip the dough circle into your pie pan-- gently peel the bottom piece of wax paper away from the dough and press to fit the interior of your pan. It's ok if you still have some excess at the edge!

Pour your apple mix into your now pie crusted pie pan, sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup of sugar and dollop the remaining butter on top. Set aside while you roll out your top crust.

pie filling

Repeat the rolling process with your second, smaller piece of dough, using two fresh pieces of wax paper. Peel away the top layer of wax paper, and flip your top crust on top of your apple mixture. Remove any significant excess border (you won't want more than 1/2 inch). Fold the edge under and crimp the edge with your fingers-- see below.

pinching crust

With a sharp knife, cut a few slits close to the center of your pie-- this will allow steam to release as the apple pie cooks. Brush your crust with milk to help it brown, and cover the edges with a crust protector (or alternatively a banded circle of aluminum foil) to prevent them from burning.

Bake at 425 for 45-50 mins, closely monitoring the pie to ensure the crust doesn't burn and the interior doesn't boil over-- both are signs the pie is over cooking. You're going for a nice, flaky golden brown.

baked pie

Now for the whipped cream: simply add your three ingredients to a bowl and beat (either with a hand mixer or an electric mixer) for 3 to 4 minutes until stiff peaks form. Serve immediately with HEATED apple pie, or refrigerate for up to 24 hours.

apple pie

 

Epilogue

Stand by… 2021 is gonna be better. And full of Mallomoars, the best cookie on earth.

mallomars

Also check it– my friend Jim drew Baby Fish Mouth for me <3. My peeps are such nerds.

baby fish mouth

 

For more menus, check out my movie directory here!

Pan’s Labyrinth

Pan’s Labyrinth

While not part of the 1980’s fantasy collection that I grew up with, Pan’s Labyrinth is still a favorite. This dark and beautiful fairy tale follows the quest of an 11-year-old heroine living in two worlds: Franco’s Spain, and the dreamy/sometimes nightmarish underworld of director