Bridget Jones’s Diary
It all began on New Year’s Day… or in the case of this post, New Year’s Eve.
All hail Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger), wanton sex goddess, who was able to land two, count ’em TWO, of the hottest British actors to ever grace the silver screen (that is, Hugh Grant and Colin Firth). There was quite a bit of hullabaloo in the UK when Zellweger was cast in this iconic literary role, being that she was NOT plump and definitely from Texas– but IMO she nailed it.
For those of you who have not seen Bridget Jones’s Diary, the film is a modern take on the classic “Pride and Prejudice” (Clueless, sorry, this one wins my affection award for modern Austen retellings). Now a single 32 year old living in London, our heroine Bridget must contend with the all too familiar fears of dying fat, alone, and eaten by wild dogs. With the arrival of the new year and her very non-PC mother’s turkey curry buffet, she fails all of her resolutions within about five minutes– and continues to do so with each subsequent, love triangle filled day that passes. Who should she choose– sexy red-flagapalooza boss Daniel Cleaver, romantic but emotionally constipated Mark Darcy, her career and sense of self-worth, or VODKA???
Clearly a perfect movie for singletons of the world over, this one really does hold up for me. And, it’s a great excuse to drink too much while watching a rom com at the end of a shitty pandemic year.
So, raise your glasses after filling them with booze, and enjoy the below menu of small plates inspired by Bridget Jones’s Diary. Let’s bid 2021 adieu!
The Movie
The Menu
A relatively low calorie cocktail sure to get you smashed-- vodka, soda, and pretty red and green stuff. Because now that we're in our 30's, we can definitely hold our drink! Add raspberries and mint to a glass, fill said glass with mostly vodka, top off of sparkly water. Maybe add ice? And repeat frequently throughout the night because, like Bridget Jones: Not a culinary note, but would still like to mention that a close friend of mine calls all whole berries in cocktails "standards" because while drunk at a bar one night, she asked if said bar had any fruit she could add to her wine-- when they replied no, she yelled "DON'T YOU HAVE ANY STANDARDS?!?!". And I feel like this is apt for Miss Jones, who could definitely up her standards at the beginning of the film and certainly seems to acquire some by the end (SPOILER). So here's to you Ashley-- bottoms up! A recipe for those still coping with Christmas leftovers and also for whom pickles on toothpicks are NOT the height of sophistication-- I give you a lovely turkey curry appetizer. PS, this was my first time making curry! So, to be safe, I looked up a number of recipes and went with a slightly tweaked version of a NYT's Turkey Tikka Masala dish (tikka masala being the national dish of Britain). Caperberry gravy and gherkins not included. Bridget Jones would not have approved. Begin by marinading your turkey chunks in yogurt in spices-- in a medium bowl, add poultry, garam masala, coriander, cumin, paprika, turmeric, garlic, ginger, salt, and yogurt. Mix well, cover, and chill at least an hour or up to overnight. Next, get started on your masala sauce. In a medium saucepan, add canola oil and heat to medium. Throw in your onion slices, and add cardamom, paprika, red pepper flakes, garam masala, a pinch of salt and your bay leaf. Toss to coat, and cook until onions are caramelized-- about 20 minutes. If need be, reduce the heat to medium low to prevent your onions from burning. Add your ginger and garlic to the same pan and stir for another minute. Next, stir in your tomato paste and allow THAT to cook for another minute. Finally, add in tomatoes, crushing with your hands as you go. Simmer until liquid is almost evaporated, about 15 minutes. Add cream, cilantro, and salt-- continue to simmer until sauce thickens a bit, about 15 more minutes. While your masala sauce simmers, turn on your oven's broiler. Lay your chicken chunks in their yogurt marinade on an aluminum foil lined baking sheet, and broil until the pieces begin to blacken ever so slightly-- this should take only 5 minutes. Remove from the oven and set aside. Go back to your masala sauce and remove the bay leaf. Using an immersion blender, puree the sauce until relatively smooth. It should NOT need sieving, Una. Just before serving, add the turkey chunks to the sauce and toss until warmed through. Add more salt if needed, and spoon over dishes filled with steamed basmati rice. Serve hot, garnished with cilantro leaves. A kind of shot that Bridget would also enjoy-- full of carbs and cheese and not at all conducive to weight loss. But us verbally incontinent spinsters need some saturated fat sometimes. AND blue is good. If you ask me there isn't enough blue food. Get those ingredients together! Heat the butter in a medium saucepan until melted, and add your fennel, leek, and potato. Add olive oil, and season lightly with salt and pepper-- toss to coat. Allow the ingredients in the saucepan to sweat on medium/medium-low for about 10 minutes, until soft but NOT browned. Add chicken stock, bring to a gentle simmer, and cover with a lid-- cook like this for about 30 minutes to allow your vegetables to fully soften. Remove the pan from the heat and, using an immersion blender, puree the stock and vegetables until smooth. If using a food processor, do be sure to fasten the lid tightly... [ Add the cream and blue cheese, and continue to blend until fully incorporated. Place soup back on low heat until slightly thickened, and season with salt and pepper to taste. Pour into to soup shot glasses, and serve with fennel fronds as garnish. The main course in Bridget Jones's failed birthday supper, thanks to Mark Darcy-- and a recipe he might have been familiar making given his past unlucky relationship. Despite mother Pam's very non-PC judgement of Japanese culture, this surprisingly simple tamagoyaki recipe is delightful and perfect for a party. The rolling process might seem intimidating at first, but just keep repeating to yourself-- I am the intellectual equal of everyone else here. Begin with omelet base ingredients: Whisk eggs, soy sauce, dashi and mirin until completely mixed. Note, if you don't have access to homemade dashi broth, you can always rely on these super helpful packages of dried dashi and dissolve it in water! Then, in either an official tamagoyaki pan or a round non-stick skillet, you can begin building your layered roll. With a canola oil doused paper towel square, grease your pan, and heat over medium. Pour 1/4 of your egg mixture into the pan and tilt to coat the bottoom with as even a circle as you can make. All enough time for the edges to solidify, at which point you can fold in two sides of the circle. Next, roll the unfolded end of this "rectangle", from bottom of the pan to the top. Push yuor egg roll back to the bottom end of the pan, and re-grease the pan with your oiled paper towel. Pour another 1/4 of the egg mix into the empty space in the pan, and lift your already completed up egg roll to allow some of the raw mix to get under it. Fold the sides in again once the raw mix has begun to firm up, and repeat the rolling process. Do this two more times, until you end up with a thicker log. ... this is starting to sound inappropriate. Slice the egg roll into six equal pieces and top with a drizzle of siracha and scallions. Have it OEUF! No overspray to mind, thank god. If you don't have mirin, you can substitute with sake or alternatively a dry white wine and a pinch of sugar. Also, if the above set of instructioons on how to roll a tamagoyaki in a round pan is a bit murky, use this video on youtube-- super helpful! A finishing flourish to *i hope* a slightly more successful meal than Bridget Jones's birthday "feast"-- orange marmalade biscuits/cookies with a nice spike of booze. Because, have you seen this movie?? I may use cookie and biscuit interchangeably here, just be aware. The movie's British guys, deal with it. Preheat your oven to 350 good god! (i might be drunk as i write this) Gather your base ingredients together... ... and beat your butter, sugar and vanilla together with a hand mixer until light and fluffy. Sift in flour and salt in 1/2 cup increments, and continue to beat until fully incorporated-- add the orange zest in with the last batch of sifted flour. Form dough into a disk, and wrap in plastic. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. After chilling period has ended, roll your dough between two pieces of parchment paper-- should be about 1/8 inch thick. Using a cookie cutter or whatever other round shaped devices you have on hand (note, I have a shot glass), cut 12 three-inch rounds and 12 three-inch donut shapes out of your dough. Place onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet like so: Bake, for 15-20 mins-- keep an eye, you want to take out of the oven when the edges of your shortbread biscuits turn golden at the edges. Remove from the oven and allow to cool to room temperature. In the meantime, mix marmalade with booze and prep a cookie assembly station. When biscuits are cool, sprinkle the hollow ones with powdered sugar, and get to it: Mmmmmm-- deeelishioush! You can find my 4 ingredient orange marmalade recipe here-- just needs a few hours (or overnight) to set and you're SET. Get it?
I Choose Vodka
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Turkey Curry
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"Blue" Leek, Stilton, Fennel and Potato Soup
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Slice white fennel bulb into thick strips, removing the tough inner core but reserving a step or two for the fronds. Next, slice your leek, white and very pale green parts only-- if you are seeing a lot of grit on the leek, you may want to rinse the slices in water. Lastly, peel and cube your potato into roughly 1 inch thick chunks.
Japanese Omelette
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Boozy Orange Marmalade Biscuits
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Epilogue
Until I find that “Someone Like You” guy who likes me just the way I am, I’ll be over here:
Wish me luck. I’m going to Bedfordshire.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!