Jumanji
Remember when kids/family movies weren’t all saccharine sweet? Case in point– 1995’s Jumanji, the perfect blend of terrifying, hilarious, and entertaining. This movie is A+ amazing to this day, and makes me miss Robin Williams every time I watch it (which is frequently).
If you haven’t seen this film, FOR SHAME. And if you haven’t seen it but have seen the “sequels”, you deserve to get chased by a bunch of bats down your neighborhood street. The movie begins with a prologue scene that sets the tone– spooky, sinister, and made just for children. Too bad for Alan Parrish, a bullied rich kid who happens to be the game’s next target. He and his friend Sarah learn the consequences of playing pretty immediately (don’t worry, no spoilers), and viewers are fast forwarded into a future wherein siblings Judy and Peter find Jumanji and release a now grown up Alan from the game’s clutches. However, they also release a bunch of other jungle creatures/monsters, and the only way to get their world back to normal is to finish the game.
Would this movie have been as good without Robin as the lead? Absolutely not. No one can utter this phrase with an audible “h” and elicit chills the way he did:
But the other cast members are also very worthy of praise. Bonnie Hunt as sassy Sarah is just MWAH, and little Kirsten Dunst/Bradley Pierce as orphaned Shepherd siblings gave it their duplicitous all. Last but not least, Jonathan Hyde– whose performance as Van Pelt/Sam Parrish was so good that a vast majority of moviegoers didn’t realize he played both characters. You don’t get this level of talent in an ensemble cast often nowadays, and kudos to director Joe Johnston and the film’s trio of writers for piecing it all together. Ya’ll refused to coddle us 90’s youths, and for that, I thank you.
So get ready for giant mosquitoes, monkeys, a massive crocodile, a lion, bats, bullets, killer plants, spiders, natural disasters, and general chaos (in no particular order, depending on the roll of the dice). To complement, I’ve made a fusion-y menu that plays into the African/Brazilian aspects of the Jumanji jungle– hopefully it will bring out your millennial nostalgia, and into a time and place where kids are just as likely to be heroes as adults. After all, only they can hear the drums.
The Movie
The Menu
Is jungle juice a legit "cocktail"? Not really-- but it's a literal roll of the dice based on whatever juices and boozes you currently have in your pantry. In this case, we have (until the dice read) 5+8 = 13 ingredients, and 13x2 = 26 (years)...just go with it guys. Mix ingredients 1-10 in a small pitcher or cocktail shaker. Pour over ice and top off with soda, then grenadine (this will create a bit of a layered effect) and finally mint. Now drink until you feel like Alan Parrish getting sucked into a board game. Yaji spice rub is a peanut based staple of West African street food-- typically it's used on skewered meats, but these roasted yaji drumsticks were crispy and DELICIOUS. Once Jame's Horner's Jumanji drums starting going, feel free to play along. It'll be messy, sure, but fun. Start with your yaji mix-- using a coffee grinder or small food processor, pulse ingredients 1-9 until the texture is like, well, dirt (there's a ground is quicker than the sand joke in here but I'm too lazy). You want to avoid overprocessing, or the oils in the peanuts will turn this into a paste. Next, lollipop your drumsticks! You can do this by slicing around the drumstick handle with a sharp knife-- you can use super sharp kitchen shears too, and cut through any tendons that run vertically up the drumstick. Peel the cartilege left on the handle away from the knuckle bone to leave it clean-- then push the meat and skin in the opposite direction to create your lollipop shape. Combine yaji spice with oil and toss with chicken. Cover, and refrigerate for at least 3 hours (or overnight). When ready to cook, preheat oven to 400. Wrap drumstick "handles" with foil to prevent burning, and stand them up in a baking dish-- if you need to trim the chunky tops of your lollipop to get stability, go for it. Roast for about 45 minutes or until internal temp reads 165. Serve with extra yaji seasoning and keep your ears open... Part Brazilian, part East African, this salad is a refreshing homage to the carniverous plants that try to eat poor little Peter. Complete with the pods-- the big yellow ones. Start with your cucumber. Set up to chopsticks lengthwise on each side of the cumber to help brace it-- these are what will prevent you from cutting all the way through it. With a very sharp knive, make angled cuts as thin as you can (2-3mm width) all the way down the cucumber. Flip over, and make angled cuts in the opposite direction. You should end up with an accordion like effect. In a pie dish or baking pan, whisk a couple of tablespoons of salt into 6 cups of water and stir until dissolved. Soak your cucumbers in this mixture for 30 minutes, refrigerated. You'll end up with a freakishly flexible cuc! While you wait, whisk your vinaigrette and slice up your remaining salad ingredients-- you want to almost fully quarter your tomatoes so that they look like things that would eat you. When ready to plate, swirl cucumbers in a viney pattern and scatter hearts of palm, tomato, onion, and cilantro over them. Serve with dressing on or on the side. I’ve heard people describe harissa as the ketchup of North Africa-- seemed a perfect accompaniment to some yucca shoestring fries. In honor of Papa Parrish/Van Pelt-- the psychological turmoil can only be overcome by fried carbs. Start by whisking together your Safari Sauce until all ingredients are fully combined. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Now for your yuca fries. Turns out yuca is poisonous if you eat it raw, so no sampling the goods till everything is cooked. Peel away the tough brown skin and then peel strips of the white flesh beneath, using a sharp kinfe to slice them in to narrower strips vertically. Soak them in cold water for about 30 minutes, and dry on paper towels. Heat oil to 380 (using a candy thermometer is advisable!) and fry your yuca strips in batches-- each batch should only take a couple of mins. When your strips are golden brown, remove from the oil and drain on paper towels. Sprinkle with salt and serve with Safari sauce! You guys-- I don't even like sweets. But this dessert was BONKERS good. Like good enough to make me destroy my kitchen and then go on a rampage across town stealing police vehicles and causing general mayhem. Start with your no churn ice cream, since it has to freeze for a while. Note, I went a little fancy on this one because I had vanilla bean pods-- you can substitute 1 1/2 tsp of vanilla extract, but the pods have a better flavor AND they make the ice cream looks extra dirty (felt on theme). All you need to do is slice the pods lengthwise down the center, and use a small spoon to scrape out the vanilla bean paste. Beat whipping cream in a mixing bowl on medium high speed until stiff peaks form. Add sweetened condensed milk to another smaller bowl and stir in vanilla paste and bourbon. Pour the condensed milk mix into the whipped cream and carefully fold together with a spatula. Pour into a 9x5 bread loaf pan and smooth the top. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and freeze for at least 8 hours (overnight is even better). On the day of serving, preheat your oven to 350. Spray a muffin sheet with nonstick spray, bottoms and sides. Mix melted butter and brown sugar together in small bowl, and spoon 2 tablespoons into six of the muffin cups. Next mix white sugar and spices. Take each biscuit and rip it up into 6 pieces, rolling them into rough balls. Toss your biscuit pieces with your seasoned sugar to evenly coat, and slice your banana into 1/4 inch rounds. Place 3 rounds into the bottom of each muffin tin, and add sugared biscuit pieces-- you can press down a bit so that they don't overflow the tins as they bake. Sprinkle with any remaining spiced sugar. Bake for 15 minutes until the tops are golden brown-- remove from the oven and allow to rest for one minute, after which you flip upside down onto a cutting board. They should slide right out, and look like gooey, caramel-y mini monkey breads. As mentioned previously, these things are dangerous. Monkeys would fight you for them for sure.
In the Jungle You Must Wait Juice
Ingredients
Instructions
A GAME... WITH DRUMS(STICKS)
Ingredients
Instructions
THEY GROW MUCH FASTER THAN BAMBOO SALAD
Ingredients
SALAD BASE
LIME VINAIGRETTE
Instructions
SHOESTRING SAFARI FRIES
Ingredients
HARISSA SAFARI SAUCE
FRIES
Instructions
BANANA MONKEY BREAD. WITH ICE CREAM. AND BOURBON.
Ingredients
No Churn BOURBON ICE CREAM
BANANA MONKEY BREAD
Instructions
Epilogue
Did I watch this movie twice while cooking/writing this post? Absolutely. But I also highly recommend the soundtrack– it was one of James Horner’s best. CHILLS.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!