Recipes for foodies and film nerds. Because life's too short for stale popcorn and crappy movies.
Boondock Saints: “A juvenile, ugly movie that represents the worst tendencies of directors channeling Tarantino.” Fair enough. But it’s still a fun ride and Sean Patrick Flanery is feckin’ hot. If you grew up in the 90’s, you’ve likely seen Boondock Saints and have since …
Uncle Buck was a childhood fave of mine. Is it the best movie in the world? Maybe not. But it’s god damn funny, and it’s got a lot of food in it that I’ve always wanted to make. Namely, really enormous pancakes.
The plot itself is relatively simple–a family emergency forces a set of parents to leave their children in the care of their screw up uncle. Played by John Candy, Uncle Buck is well meaning, but has no idea how to handle kids because he himself is a big man child who can’t hold down a job or commit to his more than understanding girlfriend. Buck’s oldest niece Tia (Jean Louisa Kelly) is appropriately emo, and the two younger children (played by Gaby Hoffman and Macaulay Culkin just pre-Home Alone) are wonderfully adorable and precocious. Gaffs abound, and tensions run high between Uncle Buck and Tia regarding her sexual predator of a twiddle-dink boyfriend, but it all ends wrapped up in a lovely little emotional bow.
John Hughes has always been great at these types of films, and if you’re a fan of John Candy (RIP) and you haven’t seen Uncle Buck yet, you’re in for a fun little treat. So here is an epic brekkie menu to honor the the drill wielding, gas hog driving, cigar smoking, clown punching, sock microwaving, bowler supreme Uncle Buck. Much better than crappy takeout Chinese or a disgusting lunch of bad banana and sardines– but maybe more importantly, it’s a GREAT meal for a hangover (I see you, on this January 1).
Now take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.
(Ok that made no sense, but I love that line.)
Johnny cakes + candied bacon and smoky sausages for cigar smoking John Candy. How much more on point can you get? Unfortunately however, I don't have a giant griddle/grill in my kitchen, nor do I own a snow shovel for "easy" pancake flippage ala Uncle Buck. But I DO have a 15 inch paella pan. And I've been waiting to try this for a loooong time. Now, you could make all the johnny cake batter in one go and try to separate it into 3 equal portions. But, you run the risk of the batter losing air between bakes AND it's hard to find a receptacle big enough to fit all that goldeny wet deliciousness. So, the instructions below have you making a pancake at a time. Which, for the faint of heart/slight of stomach, means that you could stop at one. I don't know why you would, but hey-- you do you. If you're fully committed to the giant pancake effect, you're gonna need a giant pat of butter. So, before you start the pancake process, soften 4 tbsp of butter and create a 4x4 square-- I used a piece of tin foil to help mold it into shape before sticking it in the fridge to firm up. Now it's time to preheat your oven to 375 and get all your johnny cake ingredients together! Mix 1 1/2 cups of flour and 1/2 cup cornmeal in a small bowl. In a separate, larger, bowl add 3 eggs, 1/3 cup of sugar, 1 1/2 tbsp baking powder, 3/4 tsp baking soda, and 1 tsp salt. Next, whisk the egg mix until it is light and smooth, about 30 secs. Then add 1 1/4 cup of buttermilk and half of the flour/cornmeal mix (about a cup)-- whisk gently until just combined (you want lots of lumpies at this stage. Next, add 3 tbsp of melted butter, the remaining 1 cup of buttermilk, and the remainder of your flour/cornmeal mix. Mix to combine, but only just-- lumpies are still ok! Now it's time to prep your paella pan. Add 2 tbsp of veggie oil and 2 tbsp butter. Heat on medium high until the butter is fully melted-- swirl to coat the bottom of the pan fully. Quickly dump your pancake batter into the pan, scraping the sides of your bowl with a rubber spatula to get it all. Immediately reduce the heat to medium low, and allow to cook for a minute or two, shaking the paella pan slightly. When you start to see bubbles pop up on the surface of the batter, time to get it in the oven. Bake for roughly 20 mins-- you'll see the johnny cake puff up nicely in the oven as it cooks. Once it's set, remove it from the oven and allow to rest for 10 minutes. Place a large cookie sheet or cutting board over the top of the pan and invert it-- you should see a nice golden pancake drop onto the sheet/board. I'd say "this is where you separate the men from the boys"... but that's sexist. Keep warm on the stove, loosely tented with aluminum foil, and repeat the process all over again... and then again! While your last pancake is baking, feel free to get started on your meats. Typically breakfast sausages are easy-- you just fry them up in a pan until they get crispy and golden-y. For the bacon, I always start with a room temp pan and heat the bacon gradually to ensure crispness, flipping once or twice to cook on both sides. For the candied element, add about 3 tbsp of syrup to the pan just before your strips finish cooking and let them sizzle away for a minute or so, flipping once. Instead of draining on paper towels, lay your bacon strips apart from one another on a piece of parchment paper. The syrupy coating on the outside with firm up a bit and you'll end up with a chewy, but still crispy, slice of heaven. With all that done, you can assemble your breakfast mountain. Serve pancakes cut in wedges with a chunk of melty butter and a crap ton of syrup. The Miles's and Maisy's of your life will be thrilled. You should see the toast. I couldn't even get it through the door! For those of you reading this who have no idea what the hell a johnny cake is vs a traditional pancake-- Southern Living explains it well. An egg skillet with all the mustardy onions, bell peppers, and yes more sausage, you can eat! I passed on adding cheese tho. You don't wanna end up needing a toilet plunger at the end of the meal. We don't have to eat everything Buck does. Cue up Tweedle Dee by Lavern Baker and get crackin'. Literally. Hey look it's ingredients! In a cast iron skillet that will be your end destination for your scramble, heat your veggie oil on medium and add your onions. Sautee for a couple of minutes to soften slightly, then add your bell peppers, sausage, and a pinch of garlic powder. Whisk your mustard and worcestershershershire (I can never spell that right) together and toss that in too. Stir to coat everything, and move over to your eggs. It's time to multi-task: In a separate non-stick skillet, melt your butter on medium while you whisk your eggs in a bowl with salt and pepper. Add those to your non-stick skillet and reduce heat slightly, letting the bottom of the eggs set for 10 or so seconds before you swirl them with a spoon. At the same time, keep an eye on your peppers and kielbasa, making sure they don't burn! When your eggs are good and scramby, add those to your cast iron skillet and toss lightly with your sausages and veggies. Season with additional salt and pepper, if needed, and garnish with chopped chives. Holy smokes! Since Uncle Buck's little b of a neice Tia doesn't really do brekkie, I made her a brulee'd grapefruit-- bitter with a hint of salt, BUT sweet at the end. And if you're feeling a little Tia yourself, don't worry-- there's still coffee coming. Cut the grapefruit in half crosswise, and cut a thin slice off the bottom of each half to stabilize the pieces. Remove all seeds from the grapefruit that you can see, and loosen the segments with a sharp knife. Sprinkle each half evenly with the brown sugar and, using a blowtorch, brulee the sugar to form a golden brown and crispy surface. Sprinkle the hot sugar with the salt, and serve immediately. If you don't have a brulee torch, you can always stick your grapefruit close under the broiler for 3-5 mins, depending on how hot it gets. A breakfast cocktail that Uncle Buck would appreciate-- coffee and cereal milk and a lot of booze. They'reeeee Greeeeeat! Preheat oven to 300. Spread the cornflakes in an even layer on a sheet pan lined with parchment paper and toast for about 15 minutes. Cool completely. Reserve about 1/4 cup of your flakes for garnish. Then, add 3/4 of the flakes to your cream in one bowl, and 1 cup of flakes to your bowl of milk, stirring to make sure all of the flakes are as submerged as possible. Cover and set aside at room temperature for 20-30 minutes. Strain the flakes out of each mix and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. Just before you're ready to serve, use a hand beater or immersion blender to beat the cream and your sugar into stiff peaks. Pour your coffee, coffee liqueur, and whiskey into two glasses-- top off with cereal milk, followed by your cereal whipped cream, and garnish with reserved frosted flakes. If you find a stray flake, Buck knows what to do.
Johnny Cake Pancakes with Candied Bacon and Smoky Breakfast Sausages
Yield:
3 Huge Pancakes. It's. A lot.
Cook Time:
2 hours
Total Time:
2 hours
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Recommended Products
Uncle Buck's "Garbage" Scramble
Yield:
3 Heaping Portions
Cook Time:
20 minutes
Total Time:
20 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Bittersweet Burnt Grapefruit
Yield:
2 Halves
Cook Time:
5 minutes
Total Time:
5 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Frosted Flakes and Coffee Cocktail
Yield:
2 Cocktails
Cook Time:
2 hours 2 seconds
Total Time:
2 hours 2 seconds
Ingredients
Instructions
Omg there was an Uncle Buck SERIES? … and … ANOTHER SERIES?
Life is absurd. Going back to more pancakes.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Happy 35 to Dirty Dancing, one of the greatest romances and dance films of all time (or at least the 80’s). Damn, Roger Ebert HATED this movie. And yet it has retained a loyal, long lasting fanbase– all of whom, I’m sure, secretly practice Johnny …
So last month kind of sucked for women. Actually, it really really sucked. But all the more reason to watch A League of Their Own– 30 years old on July 1, 2022 and a wonderful film to spend your afternoon with if you’re not feeling …
I honestly think I’ve seen Jim Henson’s Labyrinth fifty times (a lucky benefit of a previous Day Job). I’ve mentioned in earlier posts that I’m a huge sucker for 1980’s fantasy, and while this is not my FAVORITE of the genre, it’s definitely up there. I can also testify with first person, real world examples that I’m not the only fan of Labyrinth– just google “Labyrinth Ball” and you’ll see what I mean.
If you are not at all familiar with Labyrinth, you are in for a fantastical, trippy, hilarious, disturbing, musically rich, puppet filled ride. Passionately imaginative young Sarah (played by a very sophisticated 14 yr old Jennifer Connelly) is pissed that her infant brother Toby exists and acts like a baby. Left to take care of him while her father and stepmother spend their evening out (pretty clear daddy issues early on), Sarah wishes, after a couple of flubs, for baby Toby to be stolen away by the Goblin King. Little does she know that the Goblin King Jareth (drumroll for David Bowie) is listening. Sarah spends the remainder of the film navigating through a glittery labyrinth filled with puppet friends and foes in order to reach Jareth’s castle and rescue her aerodynamic (you’ll see what I mean) little brother.
Fair warning, Henson and his creative cohorts (notably Monty Python’s Terry Jones) do not patronize their viewers– characters, creatures, sets and dialogue are mature and even dark at times. Who knew fairies bite? But this is what makes Labyrinth so wonderful. Henson acknowledges that growing up can be deceptive and terrifying, and does so while maintaining the same wit and innovation that fueled The Muppet Show and The Dark Crystal. Because of this, you’ll find that general audiences enjoy Labyrinth just as much as kids and (we’re a group unto ourselves) millennial fantasy nerds.
But let’s face it, older audiences also love David Bowie. Because who doesn’t. The hair, the feathers, the tights, the … glass balls, the songs– many consider Bowie’s contributions to the Labyrinth soundtrack to be a significant part of his legacy. One need only listen to the lyric “It’s only forever, not long at all,” to hear that Bowie, like Henson, perfectly understood the telescoping contradictions of childhood. Very few other talents could have walked the line between mysterious and disturbing so successfully, and on what would have been his 75th birthday today (January 8, 2022), I hope David Bowie is Magic Dancing his way up/down/sideways through a goblin castle. In space.
There are about a million other pieces of trivia I could include here, but you can find most if not all of it in The Jim Henson Company’s Red Book (compiled by the amazing archival team at that company). In the meantime, let’s get to the below– a meal inspired by the adventures of Sarah, Jareth, Hoggle, Didymus, Ambrrrrocious, and Ludo that I hope you find delicious, whimsical, and amusing. C’mon feet.
PS, look closely at this post’s header photo. There might be a hidden Bowie face in there…
A spiced tea drink that pays homage to my favorite Labyrinth creatures-- the 'Allo Worm and the (super creepy) Fireys! It's both comforting enough for an indoor drink with the missus and strong enough to make you lose your head. When your thing gets wild, chilly down, chilly down! Start with the spiced orange syrup-- in a small saucepan, combine all the ingredients designated and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until all of the sugar has dissolved and the syrup slightly thickened. Allow to come to room temperature, and strain out the solids. Chill until ready to use. For the cocktail, combine the syrup with bourbon, tea and bitters. Add ice balls and garnish with a slice of orange. A delightfully odorific soup for brave souls in need of a Labyrinth starter. Feel free to suspend yourself, head first, over the bowl-- the lovely scents of truffle and gruyere will never wash off mmmmmm. Hey look it's a bunch of kinda smelly ingredients! Start off by turning your onions into a nummy gooey fragrant mess. Melt your butter in a medium pot over medium heat. Add the onions, salt and pepper and cook until the onions are very soft and caramelized, about 25 minutes. Add the mushrooms and garlic, and sautee until mushrooms are softened. Toss with flour and allow to coat the vegetables until the flour smell disappates, about a minute. Next, add the brandy and simmer for another 30 seconds. Add bay leaf, thyme, the beef broth, and fish sauce and bring your soup back to a simmer. Cook for about 45 minutes until about 1/4 is reduced. Season, to taste, with salt and pepper. When you're ready to eat, preheat the broiler. Arrange your croutons on a baking sheet in a single layer. Sprinkle the slices with the Gruyere and broil until bubbly and golden brown, about 2 minutes. Ladle the soup in bowls and float several of the Gruyere croutons on top-- rocks, frieeeends. Add shaved truffle, to garnish. Ok Ok so Chicken a la Goblin King is a little punny-- but there are a LOT of chickens in Labyrinth! No joke, it's a thing, there is even a facebook group. I added a few flourishes for Jareth (forbidden rice and ahem chicken THIGHS, ahem) and brother Toby (baby veggies) and you've got a main course fit for a Goblin City banquet. Now sing it with me-- you remind me of the babe (what babe?) the babe with the power (what power?) the power of voodoo (who do?) you do (do what?) remind me of the babe! Preheat your oven to 425. Pat your chicken thighs dry with paper towels, rub about a tbsp of olive oil into the skin, and season with salt and pepper. Heat another tbsp of olive in a cast iron skillet and set over medium high/high heat. Once the oil is hot, add the chicken thighs, skin down, to the pan and sear for about three minutes until the skin browns. Flip the thighs and cook for two more minutes. In the meantime, toss your carrots and onions with remaining olive oil, thyme, and some salt and pepper. Add to the heated cast iron skillet with the chicken and move the pan to the oven. Roast for about 30 minutes (chicken thighs are done at about 165 degrees, if you have a meat thermometer handy). Remove your cast iron from the oven and shift the poultry to another plate. Place pan back over high heat and brown your mostly cooked veggies, throwing your peas as well-- remove to the same plate as the chicken. You should still have a fair amount of rendered fat in the pan-- Pour all but about 2 tbsps away, and add butter to the pan and place on medium heat. When the butter is melted, add the flour to make a roux-- stir until you get a wet sand consistency. You'll know it's finished cooking when the flour smell disappates and you are left with a buttery popcorn aroma. Add the half and half, onion powder, mustard and pimentos, whisking until fully incorporated. To serve, add black rice to a plate or shallow bowl, and top with browned veggies and chicken. Top with A la Goblin King sauce and some freshly chopped parsley. Consume until there's nothing left-- nothing? Nothing? NOTHING? Nothing, tra la la? I rarely put instructions for cooking rice in recipes since different brands might have different ways of preparing it. Just follow the instructions on the package, with one consistent variation-- instead of water, I always use chicken or vegetable broth and a pinch of salt. Adds more flavor. So, the Labyrinth is a piece of cake, is it? Well, let's see how you deal with this little slice... These Escher-esque confections are seriously, seriously good. BEWARE BEWARE, however-- one bite may cause Ba-baba-BOOM! Certain DEATH! Just kidding, but there might be hallucinations in which you are courted by a very age-inappropriate rock star who spins you around in a ball gown whilst surrounded by creepy people in Eyes Wide Shut masks. It's worth it tho. First, preheat your oven to 350 degrees and grease the inner walls of six cupcake tins. Slice peaches about 1/4 inch thick-- a little thicker is ok, and if you're using frozen peaches, cut while still a LITTLE frozen. Sift dry ingredients (1-5 in the above list) together in a medium bowl. Add shortening, peach nectar, milk, vanilla, and zest and beat with a hand mixer for about 2 minutes. Add the egg last, and beat for 2 minutes longer. Set batter aside briefly while you prep your cake "topping". Melt your butter and pour, still hot and 1/2 tbsp at a time, into the bottom of your six cupcake tins. Sprinkle the brown sugar evenly over your melted butter, also 1/2 tbsp per tin, stirring and shifting gently to ensure even coverage. Next, arrange your peach slices 3 to a tin in a slight spiral pattern. Any gaps should be small. Pour batter over fruit carefully, so that you do not displace any of the peach slices-- spread gently smooth. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for 15 mins. Carefully invert over a cutting board or cake tray/plate, and lift the pan away from the cakes. You should be left with a beautiful caramelized fruit topping! Feel free to sprinkle with a bit of cinnamon, if you like a bit more spice. I think Jareth would approve. You can of course use regular vanilla. I just happen to have a fancy mother who makes her own infused vanillas, and I reap the benefits.
Chilly Down and have a Cuppa
Yield:
1 Cocktail
Ingredients
Instructions
Bog of Stench Soup
Yield:
2 Big Servings
Ingredients
Instructions
Chicken A La Goblin King with Baby Vegetables
Yield:
2 Servings
Cook Time:
45 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Upside Down Peach Cakes
Yield:
6 mini cakes
Cook Time:
45 minutes
Total Time:
45 minutes
Ingredients
Instructions
Notes
Labyrinth is evergreen and hilarious and so is Flight of the Conchords. This episode never. gets. old. Skip to 3:03 for the real good Goblin King stuff.
For more menus, check out my movie directory here!
Yesterday was World UFO Day, tomorrow is the 4th of July, and today it’s the 25th anniversary of Roland Emmerich’s badass alien blockbuster, Independence Day. So I mean, I HAD to take yesterday off to get this menu out there. Just don’t tell my boss. …
Here it is: my favorite Halloween movie and perhaps my favorite Mel Brooks film, Young Frankenstein. Fans of the director will immediately recognize hilarious throwbacks (and throw forwards) to his other movies– walk this way, wasn’t your hump.. on the other side?, etc. But of …
