Chef

Instructions

Rub a lime wedge along the edge of the cup, and dip in salt-- set aside.

Add siracha, maggi, and lime juice to your cups, swirling to mix. Add beer, and garnish with lime wedge and jalepeno (if you want just a little extra ego).

Instructions

Get them kernels and cajun spices together!

In a medium sized heavy bottom pot, eat vegetable oil and sugar over medium heat-- swirl, until sugar starts to dissolve. Add your kernels and stir to coat them in your sugar oil. Cover the pot-- the trapped heat inside is what will pop your corn! Shake the pot every 8-10 seconds to prevent the sugar from burning.

When the popping has slowed to once every 2 to 3 seconds, uncover the pot and remove from the heat. Ideally you'll have a slightly sticky and sweet batch of lovely kettle corn.

Pour into a large bowl and toss in your cajun spice mix-- if you want to add a little fat into your carbs covered with sugar, feel free to toss in 1 tbsp of melted butter. It does help the spices stick a bit better, but isn't 100% necessasry. But let's be real butter makes everything better. You can always have a piece of fruit afterwards.

Be forewarned, this shit is addictive.

Instructions

Start by lightly toasting one side of each piece of bread-- spread 2 tbsp of your butter on one side of each slice, and sear lightly on a griddle pan heated to medium. It should only take 5 minutes or so to get to a light golden brown.

Remove bread slices from the griddle pan and set onto a cutting board. Top the toasted sides first with cheddar, then kimchi, then pepper jack. Mix sesame seeds into remaining 4 tbsps of softened butter, and spread the mixture on the untoasted sides of each piece of bread.

Add sandwiches back to griddle pan over medium heat. Rotate repeatedly to ensure even browning and melting, pressing down slightly. Flip, and do the same to the other side. Per Roy: you’re not too busy with it, you’re precise, but then sometimes you step back. The whole sandwich is starting to evolve

What you should end up with is a gooey, spicy, sesame crunched flavor bomb (and don't you dare remove those crusts, Percy).

Instructions

Start by boiling your sgetti in a large pot of salted water-- add olive oil to the water as the pasta cooks to al dente level. Reserving about 1/4 cup of pasta water, drain noods and set aside.

Now for your Olio ingredients.

Heat olive oil in a large saute pan over medium heat-- add garlic slices and cook for 2 minutes, stirring frequently, until they begin to soften. Don't overcook them! Add red pepper flakes and cook for another 30 seconds.

Carefully add the reserved pasta-cooking water, 1/4 tsp salt and a few cranks of pepper to the pan and bring to a soft boil. Lower the heat and simmer for about 3 minutes, until the liquid has reduced a bit.

Add the drained pasta to the to the pan and toss to coat completely with the garlic-y peppery oil. Remove from heat, and add half the parsley and half the parmesan, as well as a healthy squeeze of lemon juice-- toss again, tasting for seasoning and if need be, adding more salt and/or pepper.

To plate, twirl noods into whatever receptacle you have closest to your bed-- ahem, stove-- and top with additional parsley and parmesan.

Instructions

Start with your avocado cilantro crema. Blend all of the below (ie your first 9 ingredients) in a mini food processor or blender until smooth. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Using a sharp knife, cut off the tops and bottoms of each plantain-- slice through the skin of the plantain lengthwise, but don't cut through the inner portion. Using your fingers, peel the skin away from the plantain innards, and cut the plantains into rounds about 1 inch thick. Watch for tarantulas!

Fill a heavy bottomed skillet with roughly 1 inch of oil. Heat over medium. While your oil is warming up, whisk together water, garlic powder, salt, and lime juice (ie your final 4 ingredients) in a medium bowl. Set aside.

When your oil is warm-hot, add your plantain rounds to the skillet. The oil should not aggressively bubble-- you want a soft bubble for a light fry. Cook the plantains this way until softened and golden, approximately 4 minutes on each side (in batches if need be).

Remove from the pan and drain on paper towels.

Using the bottom of a glass or a press of some kind, smush each plantain round until they are about 1/3 of an inch thick-- if you flatten them too much, they'll break apart on the next fry. Dip the plantain disks into your garlic lime water, allowing them to sit in the mix for about 10 seconds before you remove and gently dry on paper towls.

Wen you are almost ready to serve, reheat your oil over medium high heat (it's ready when a drop of water pops in the oil). Re-fry the plantains until crisp, a little less than 2 minutes per side. Drain again on towels, and serve warm and crispy with avocado crema and a generous sprinkle of salt.

Instructions

Get all them brine ingredients mixed up and pour into a gallon ziploc. Add your pork shoulder to the bag, seal, and squish around for a second. Refrigerate, overnight, or at the very least 6 hours.

On the day of, puree all of the mojo marinade ingredients in a blender or mini food processor. Remove the pork shoulder from the brine and pat dry-- pour the marinade over the pork and refrigerate for another 2 hours, allowing all of the mojo deliciousness to soak into the meat.

Preheat the oven to 425 and set a rack over a baking sheet lined with foil. Remove the pork from the marinade and season all over with salt and pepper-- place onto your rack. Don't toss your leftover marinade!

Insert a meat thermometer into the center of your meat, and roast the pork for about 30 minutes. Pour a bit more marinade over the meat, removing it briefly from the oven if need be.

Reduce the oven temperature to 375 and continue roasting the pork for 1 hour and 30 minutes longer, basting once or twice more with remaining mojo-- you need to get to an internal temperature of 160.

When the meat is done, transfer to a cutting board and let it rest for 30 minutes-- the temperature will continue to rise a bit as it sits. Discard any string holding the roast together, and slice thinly-- about 1/4 inch thick slices. Don't worry, you're gonna have leftovers of this, so feel free to snack on a few slices and/or have a bunch of friends taste test.

Now that you have your juicy pork slices ready, it's time to get your remaining sammie ingredients together. Slice and generously butter the insides of your cuban loaves, and place on a flat griddle over medium high heat-- toast, moving the bread around a bit to ensure even browning. Remove from the griddle and spread the toasted bread insides with mustard.

Now for your layering order. Note, my is slightly different from Chef Choi's--I do cheese, pork, ham, pickle, cheese. I just find that sandwiching everything in melted cheese is... better.

When you're about ready to eat, generously butter the outside of each sandwich and place back onto your heated flat griddle pan. I don't have a legit plancha for pressing, but a panini press works pretty good. When that bread is golden and that cheese is melted, it's done.

To serve, cut each sandwich at a sharp diagonal. Eat hot, and preferably with a lot of cerveza. Not beer, cerveza. See Cocky Rooster recipe.

Instructions

Start with your coffee ganache. In a microwave safe bowl, add your chocolate chips to your cream. Add 1 tbsp butter and coffee to a small, separate bowl and allow to come to room temp.

Microwave the chocolate/cream mix in 20 second bursts, stirring between each, until chocolate mix is smooth (all in, should take about a minutes worth of nukage). Add butter and coffee and stir in until butter is melted. Cover, and refrigerate for at least 3 hours until set.

Time to prep your beignet dough!

In a medium bowl, whisk together granulated sugar and warm water until sugar is dissolved. Add yeast and allow to get foamy (about 10 mins). In a separate bowl, beat the egg with vanilla and evaporated milk until incorporated. And, have your butter and flour ready.

Add half of your flour to a stand mixer bowl, together with egg mix. Beat with a dough hook until smooth, just a couple of minutes. Add yeast mix slowly while still running the mixer, followed by the butter, beating on medium low until smooth. Add remaning half of the flour and your salt-- beat 2 minutes more, until dough pulls away from the side of the bowl.

Add your dough to a lightly oiled bowl and cover-- let rise for 2 hours in a warm environement until the dough has doubled in size.

When the dough is ready, place on a lightly floured surface and roll out into a square roughly 1/8 inch thick. Using a floured knife, cut into 3x3 squares. Add a scant tsp of chocolate ganache to the center of each square, and fold the dough over the ganache to creat a nice little package. Make sure you seal the edges fully, or the chocolate will burst out when you fry your beignets.

Cover your raw beignets with a towl and allow to rest for 20 mins or so while you heat your oil for frying.

Place a deep, heavy bottomed pot (maybe the same one you used for your popcorn?) on high heat and fill that sucker with your oil (about 2-3 inches deep). Using a candy thermometer, bring the temperature of your oil up to 350 degrees.

In batches of 3-4, fry up your beignets roughly 1-2 minutes per side. Keep an eye on the temperature, and adjust your heat to compensate for any fluctuation-- you don't want to burn your lava filled treats!

Once your beignets are puffed and golden brown, remove from the hot oil and allow to drain on a paper towel lined cooked sheet. Sprinkle with powdered sugar (I didn't use too much, but feel free to go nuts if you like sweets), and serve warm.

THAT SHIT IS MOLTEN!!!!!! IT'S FUCKING MOLTEN!!!!!!!

Instructions

In a large bowl, sprinkle tbsp of sugar, Grand Marnier, and a squeeze of lemon juice over your berries and refrigerate-- the acid/alcohol will macerate the berries as they get sweeter from the sugar.

Now for your sugar dust-- in a small saucepan, combine sugar and water and heat over medium. Stir until sugar is fully melted and begins to turn into a light caramel color.

Pour onto a silpat lined baking sheet and allow to set for 20 minutes or so. Once the sugar sets, smash up with a knife...

...and add shards to a mini food processor or blender. Puree until you get a sugar dust. Don't worry if there are a few chunks-- you're gonna sift these out!

When you're ready to serve, top your macerated berries with whipped cream, and toss a handful of sugar dust on top with an arrogant chef-y flourish.